Yoruichi, Private Eye!
by FaddishMass
Summary: Very adult themes here so don't read if your easily offended. Soifon is put on a scheme to help youths get back into society and finds work at a fun loving PI called Yoruichi. The plot is very deep and full of conspiracy, mystery and depravity. I'm not a professional writer so expect a few plot holes, I've patched most up but there might be a few I've missed. Gets better after Ch 5
1. Chapter 1: Busted

**So I bought myself a new computer and with it I decided to revamp Yoruichi PI …Again . On this Soifon's personality is a little OC at the beginning but she'll eventually revert back to her kind of normal personality. This one also won't have the large over-complex plot; it'll just be Soifon and Yoruichi solving crimes with Soifon coming to terms with stuff like bullying, her sexuality and homophobia. I'm not putting the genre as angst though, 'cause not I'm good with that shit. This story contains copious amounts of swearing and Yuri scenes so it's M! It's also set on the fictional island of Rukon like my last one was. Now that this story has three different Arcs in it I'm gonna put an Index with a breif summary what each case is, you may want to skip a case if you don't like it.**

**Index:**

**Case One: The Organ Stealer: Chapter 1-10. Basically an introduction case as Yoruichi and Soifon become close friends and eventual lovers. They find themselves playing cat and mouse with a dangerous serial killer who has affiliations with something much, much worse.**

**Case Two: Mastermind and Aizen: Chapter 11-30. Yoruichi and Soifon find themselves thrown into a massive conspiracy to steal a valuable item called the Hogyoku by the Governor of Rukon: Aizen. Whislt all this is happening a mysterious person called the Mastermind starts causing trouble and taunting Yoruichi and her friends, if that wasn't enough Juha Bach revealed himself as the leader of a strange secret society called the Stern Ritter.**

**Case Three: Millennium Items: Chapter 31-ongoing. Yoruichi and Soifon are contacted by a strange man called Marik Ishtar to hunt down and collect all seven of the millennium items for a hefty sum of money but it doesn't turn out to be as easy as they thought as another secret society is after them and they unwittingly invoke the wrath of a very dangerous criminal.**

** [Story]**

It always seemed to rain when Soifon was in a bad mood. This was often. She was only seventeen but she had to deal with very adult problems, some would say that; that's just the way it goes but jobless, penniless Soifon would just punch them in the face…and then steal their wallet.

The Seireitei was a crappy city to live in. The median between rich and poor was huge, with the hill just outside the city accommodating multimillion dollar condos and the other side of the city housing large characterless blocks of one bedroom flats. Soifon had lived in one of these for a few years after her father kicked her out for 'being in the way'. Recently, however, she'd been kicked out and now was homeless.

The gun in her pocket meant she could get some money, there was a liquor store nearby that was a prime target, Soifon's freerunning skill was unrivalled in this city and she could escape. Wrapping a messenger bag around her she stepped into the shop using a black and red chequered scarf to cover her face. She quickly checked if there was anyone else in the shop. "We don't sell to minors" The man boredly said

"Good" Soifon said pointing the gun at him "'cause I ain't buying, dickhead"

"Whoa" the guy said throwing his arms up.

"Put the money in the bag, you fool" Soifon said checked the door again. No one, but time was running out, she paced as the cowardly man fumbled with the money.

"Ha!" The man said pulling a shotgun from behind the counter. As quick as lightning Soifon grabbed the barrel of it before he could even point it at her and pulled it from his grip. She slammed the butt into his face and leapt over the counter. The man lay unconscious on the ground. "Don't the police tell you not to do stupid shit like that you clown?" Soifon said. She flung the rest of the money into her bag and leapt back over the counter just as someone was walking in. Soifon instantly recognised the uniform. A cop!

The green haired policewoman stared at Soifon as she leapt over the counter. On second glance she might actually be a stripper, what kind of self-respecting policewoman wore short shorts and a top that was practically bursting to reveal ample bosoms? Not missing a beat Soifon kicked a shelf full of whiskey bottles at the policewoman. She dodged the bottles, but Soifon was hoping for this, now the woman was out of the way of the door. She dived through the door and took a left.

It had stopped raining and the sun beat down. She turned down an alleyway, vaulted over a fence and kept running toward the street. Soon she'd be away; she wondered how much money she'd actually got. Just as she was getting out of the alleyway a fist swung in and struck her square in the face. The blow was so strong she was taken off her feet and knocked out instantly.

***Perspective change***

Neliel Tu Odelswanck was one of the police force's top cops! She stared down at the unconscious girl. She had moves but she was predictable. Nel had sat for a few hours looking at maps of the streets surrounding easily robbed stores and she'd devised escape routes. She'd guessed the girl would take this one and she wasn't wrong.

She frowned at the youngster. How old was she? Sixteen or seventeen maybe. Nel picked the girl up and threw her into the back of her car. Someone was going to jail...probably not; the government had come up with a new 'Scheme' to help damaged and homeless youths get back into normal society and judging by how this girl smelt she was homeless. It's likely this girl will be told it's either this scheme or Juvie, Nel liked that the government was trying to help the youths but this idea was a little iffy. She wasn't one to complain though, she wasn't a particularly nice person when she was a child but she'd been given a second chance and this girl deserved one too…probably.

***change***

Two days later Soifon sat in a courtroom wearing orange overalls. She didn't mind if she was going to prison, there they'd feed, clothe and give her a semi decent bed witch was more than could be said about that stupid alleyway. "We now gather for the people vs. Feng" The judge said. He was bored, Soifon could see it in his eyes, and she was just another speck of dust to be swept under the carpet. "So" He said staring at Soifon "You've committed a serious crime Miss Feng" he looked at his notes. "There are two options for a young lady like you. You can A: go to a Juvenile Detention Centre for one year and then spend another year at a correctional facility or you can B: or you can apply for the WISH programme"

"What's that?" Soifon asked

"WISH stands for 'Work Institutionalisation Security and Home' I think they just made it up so as its spell wish" He said gathering a few chuckles from the…lawyers "long story short, you'll be put back into school, given a room in a centre for troubled youths and we'll also give you a job"

"A job?"

"You may be unpaid it'll depend on your employer"  
"Do I at least get to choose?"

"No" He snapped "you'll be given a job to do and you'll do it wither or not you like it or you'll be put into Juvie" Soifon thought about it. Perhaps it was the best way to go, an opportunity like this might never present itself again. "Very well" Soifon said "I'll take this WISH"

"Excellent" The Judge said "court adjourned"

Another day later Soifon stood with all her earthly possessions in a single duffel bag waiting for the 'Warden' of the youth facility to come and pick her up from the police station. All things considered today was an alright day. She had a decent meal and she even got to keep her spiffy orange overalls. A minivan pulled up beside her. A man with black hair and slight stubble looked at her "Are you Shaolin Feng?"

"Yeah" Soifon said

"Pleased to meet you" He said stepping out "My name is Shunsui Kyoraku"

"Hi there" Said Nel, Nel had been 'liaising' with Kyoraku on her behalf it was only fitting she'd wait with Soifon for Kyoraku…also to make sure she didn't run off.

After Kyoraku tried and failed to chat up Nel Soifon bid farewell to the closest thing she'd had to a friend in her life. She got in the passenger seat and sighed, would this chapter of her life be any better than the previous? "There are few 'rules' in the Kotowari Centre we only ask that you be in by ten and not to drink or smoke on the premises"

"Kotowari Centre?"

"Yeah" He said "My friend Ukitake owns this place, he really cares about the kids of today and you should be grateful, not everyone gets a chance like this"

"Yeah, yeah" Soifon said "typical adult thinking I should get down on my knees and worship the ground they walk on just for throwing me a bone every once and while"

"This isn't a joke"  
"Strange" Soifon said "I didn't think I was laughing"

"Oh my" He chuckled "looks like you're gonna be a tough nut to crack"

"This is gonna be a long day" Soifon grumbled. Kyoraku drove through the sunny streets of the Seireitei. The weather was nice, recently it'd been stormy but today the weather was clear and comfortable.

"So Miss Feng"

"Just call me Soifon, everyone else does"

"Soifon" He said "you're seventeen, correct?"

"Yeah" She said "I turn eighteen in two months"

"For schooling you'll be put in 10th grade"

"Uh…isn't that for sixteen year olds?"

"Yes" He said "Unfortunately the courts say that anyone who skips school for more than a year should always be put into the year below them"

"This is why I preferred blighty"

"I noticed that accent, are you an actual American Citizen?"

"Yes" Soifon said. She'd grown up in South London but her father and brothers decided America had more opportunity and moved. She preferred Peckham at least there no one actually pretended to be anything better than an absolute scumbag. "I got my citizenship when I was fourteen, then my dad kicked me out"

"Why?"  
"Dunno" Soifon said "Apparently it's 'cause I was blocking the TV"

"Were you?"  
"I was outside playing with a stray dog I found" Soifon said remembering good old Lucky.

"You apparently have only one surviving family member left, is that correct?"

"Yes my big brother Shaozu, I don't know where he is, he left before I really grew up, my only regret about that is that he never took me with him"

"Such a shame"

"Shut up" Soifon snapped "you speak so patronisingly, it makes me wanna hit you"

"Apologies" Kyoraku said "I have little sympathy for people like you; I'm really just sticking with my friend on this one"

It took Kyoraku ten minutes to drive to the Kotowari centre. It would have been a lifeless grey concrete block of a building but the man who owned it, Ukitake apparently his name was, had someone paint and spray it with multiple different styles and paintings. It was an absolute mess but at the same time quite stunning. There was not a single square inch of grey stone, almost as if the owner was trying to say that there was no such thing as lack-of-character. Perhaps she was just reading into it too much.

"It's a mess isn't it?" Kyoraku chuckled "the first generation of boys did this, they're good kids…not one of them was able to keep a job so we just hired them to look after the place when Ukitake was ill…Ukitake let them stay on one condition"

"What was that?"

"That they call themselves the 'Buddies'" He chuckled "So when you speak to them make sure you call them Buddy Renji or Buddy Shuhei"

"Fair enough" Soifon said

"You're actually the fifth person to come here of the Second Generation"

"Second Generation?" Soifon asked as Kyoraku parked the van

"Yeah" He said "We had about five kids in our first five years of running the centre, now they all stay here permanently and help us take on the second generation"

"How many people will be staying here?"

"With you that'll make…" He visibly counted in his head "twelve people. Me and Ukitake five first generation and five second generation"

"Fair enough" Soifon said "what kind of jobs do they give us?"

"It can be anything, employers just come to us hoping to get some free labour, we usually tell them they can only hire them for six weeks unpaid and if they go any further than that the kid is either taken from them or they keep them on fulltime and paid"

"Alright" Soifon said "I suppose some decent work experience will look good on a CV"

"Now you're getting there" He chuckled locking the van after she stepped out. Soifon looked at the fence surrounding the complex. Kyoraku noticed this and laughed "can you believe this fence is for the exact opposite of what you're thinking?" He said "our kids do tend to rub people up the wrong way and often vandals come around to throw stuff at the building, the fence is to stop people breaking in. Hence the curfew, as the gates are locked at ten"

"I see"  
"You don't do drugs or anything like that?"

"No"

"Good" He muttered "it was hard enough getting Hitsugaya off the damn amphetamines."

"Whoops" Someone said as Kyoraku stepped through the door.

"Ah sorry there Miss Shihouin" He said holding the door open for the woman who stepped out. She flashed a perfect smile at Soifon as she walked past. Soifon stared, whoa! Soifon liked to be a tomboy but this woman was pure in her feminine glory. Soifon shook her head. Ridiculous.

"Oh if I were ten years younger" Kyoraku muttered watching her walk away. "Come on, we might as well introduce you to Ukitake, I think he's still in his bed"

"That's a bit lazy"

"You'll come to regret judging this book by its cover" Kyoraku smiled "it's a cardinal sin to bad mouth Ukitake in this institution, not because he forbids it, the first generation would follow Ukitake into the depths of hell if he so desired"

"He can't be that brilliant" Soifon said scowling

"Sometimes I wonder if his generosity has a limit" Kyoraku said "it can get a little tiresome"

Inside was a large room decorated with posters, wall paintings, dart boards and TV's mounted on the wall. There were three pool tables, a couple of sofas in a corner and one of the walls had a long desk spanning its entire length, it had about ten computers on it. Another entire wall was covered with bookshelves laden with their namesake. There was another TV amongst the sofas, several different games consoles where attached to it.

"This is like the utility room" He said "most of the kids lounge around here after curfew" or they play Soccer or basketball out back

"Football"

"What?"

"It's not Soccer its Football"

"Now, now let's not split hairs" He laughed "every Sunday we have a big cooked meal with everyone by the table"

"That sounds nice" Soifon muttered.

"I know it's a little 'lame'" He said making quotation marks with his fingers. Soifon raised an eyebrow. "Come on" He said nudging her. "Just dump your bag there; I doubt you have anything to steal"

"Didn't your parents ever tell you not to make assumptions?" Soifon said dropping her bag.

"Ah Buddy Matsumoto" Kyoraku grinned as a massive chested woman stepped through a door labelled 'Staff'. She wore a blue polo shirt with a cartoon bear on it.

"Hey" She said "Is this the new girl?"

"Yeah" He said "Shaolin, she prefers Soifon though"

"Huh" She said leaning annoyingly close to her. She prodded one of her breasts with her finger "it must suck to have breasts that small"

"How do you run without knocking yourself out?"

"Oh, she's got fire" Matsumoto laughed "wait till the guys get their hands on you, they love fresh meat"

"Just go do whatever it was that you were doing please" Kyoraku snapped "She's joking of course"

"I gathered" Soifon said

"Ukitake is that way, come on" He said walking to another door labelled 'Warden'. They walked through the door and into a carpeted corridor that only had three doors, one labelled 'Fire Exit', one labelled Kyoraku and another labelled Ukitake.

Kyoraku knocked on the door and opened. Inside a young boy sat with his arms crossed scowling at a book and another older man lay in bed chuckling slightly. He watched a TV. "Kyoraku" He said smiling "and our new girl"

"Uh…hi" Soifon stared. She felt a little silly for thinking it was lazy staying in bed this late, this man was obviously ill.

"Hello there my name is Jushiro Ukitake, but you already knew that" He said "he's Toshiro…despite having similar names and looks we're not related"

"Howdy" Soifon said looking at Toshiro who ignored her. "Tsch" She tutted "Who d'ya think you're ignoring you little punk!" She snapped

"Calm down" Ukitake said. His voice was quite soothing. She huffed and crossed her arms. "Oh Kyoraku I bet you can't guess who's on-board with the employment"

"Shihouin?"

"Oh man" He said "How'd you know?"

"I saw her on her way out" Kyoraku said "Who's' she looking for Kira? Momo?"

"She says she'll take anyone we want to send" He raised an eyebrow "preferably a girl"

Kyoraku laughed "Did you tell her this isn't a brothel?"

"Yeah, I couldn't wait to pull that card" He said "She seemed shocked that I knew"

"We can just send Soifon" Kyoraku said "Momo's got that job at the hospital"

"How does that sound, Soifon?"

"Uh what does this Shihouin do?"

"Well…" Ukitake grinned "it's not the average job"


	2. Chapter 2: Coin

Three weeks after she'd joined the Kotowari Centre she was set to start School. All of the people in the Kotowari Centre were pretty good natured and had told her flat out School was going to be appalling. It probably would be but she was British! She could keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity... except that time she broke a guy's nose for mocking her hair…and that time she beat up a group of girls for saying she was a 'ho'. Thinking about it she really lost her temper often. The apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree Soifon thought jadedly. She waited with Toshiro, Hinamori, Hanataro and a slightly insane girl called Hiyori.

"How long does this bus take?" Soifon said looking at her watch.

"About…three minutes" Hinamori said.

"I hope you know how to keep your temper at bay" Toshiro said "us kids don't catch a break from anyone, not teachers, other pupils, even the janitors don't like us"

"At my last school" Soifon said "When people tried to mock me I just chinned them"

"Oh no" Hanataro said "you can't hit people they'll expel you in a second and you'll be off the WISH programme"

"I guess it's a dark alleyway and a pillowcase full of soap then" Soifon muttered.

"Wait 'tll you meet Bambietta, her favourite pastime is trying to get a reaction out of us" Toshiro said "and she's no pushover, she knows how to fight"

"I spent most of my childhood taking hits, I think I can handle some gaki" Soifon said

"Treasure that frame of mind" Toshiro said dryly "I remember when I thought I could handle the bullying"

"And you can't?"

"I'm thinking about buying a gun and shooting up the joint" He replied

"Really?" Hiyori said leaning intrusively close to his face "'cause If you are, give me some warning first and I'll take the day off"

"No I was just making a slight hyperbole"

A yellow school bus came around the corner and stopped in front of them. Feeling slightly apprehensive Soifon stepped into the bus. The kids in the bus didn't even seem to notice her. Which was good, she'd rather be ignored than picked on. She found an empty seat and sat down. When Toshiro and the others stepped into the bus the kids' attitude changed, they all started hurling insults and throwing stuff at them. Soifon guessed they didn't know she was one of the 'Delinquents'.

Three hours later she sat in her first ever Chemistry lesson. Miss Unohana seemed like a weak woman but every pupil in the class sat completely silent and were completely obedient to her every whim. "This is the Ester Link here" She said pointing at a well-drawn diagram of Ethyl-Acetate "This is where Ethanol and Acetic acid join to make the Ester" She explained. Soifon liked Chemistry, she liked the idea of making and creating your own potion that could do whatever you wanted sounded fun.

She'd had English before that…it had been a disaster, the teacher; a Pompous arrogant man called Mr Kuchiki seemed to think that since Soifon was English she was naturally good at English which was not the case. Everyone seemed to find her accent funny too, that was the worst thing.

Something struck the back of her head. Soifon looked at the floor to see an eraser. Looking back she saw a slender raven haired girl staring at her with a smirk on her face…she had to be Bambietta. She was quite far away Soifon found herself modestly thinking, it was a good shot to hit her…

"Eyes to the front, Shaolin" Unohana said smiling at her

"She just threw a rubber at me"

"Eyes…to…the…front" She smiled staring at her. God she was intimidating. Soifon glanced back at Bambietta who merely whistled innocently. This was the start of a rocky relationship…bones were gonna be broken.

The rest of school was pretty boring but relaxing, besides Physical Education, Chemistry and English she didn't have any other classes with Bambietta or her little clique of skanks. The other kids had been slightly apprehensive of her but they didn't seem to mind her, it wasn't like in the High-school dramas where if she sat at their table at lunch they'd all get up and move. Soifon walked toward her bus, after school she was to finally meet this Shihouin woman. Apparently after school she was to work for two hours. Being a Private Detective sounded…she didn't know how it sounded, sometimes it seemed she'd just be spying on some old cougar having a lewd affair with the pool boy and then sometimes she felt it'd be car chases, diving through cornfields with planes shooting at them and unveiling massive plots to kill the president of the USA.

She jumped on the bus and found her seat which was empty again. Just as the driver was about to close the doors another person jumped in. Bambietta. "Oh are you taking the bus Bambietta?" A boy asked

"No" Bambietta said "I'm just jumping on this bus because I like the smell of piss and popcorn"

"Little bitch" Hiyori snapped. Bambietta scowled. It was common knowledge in this school that Hiyori was insane and even Bambietta stayed away from her. Bambietta grinned and sat next to Soifon, Bambietta's little groupies sat in the surrounding seats. This was going to be awkward, Soifon knew it. "So" Bambietta said with a smile…here it comes

"You're from china or something does that mean you eat dogs?" asked one of her friends

"That's Korea you idiot" Soifon snapped

"Such snippiness" Bambietta said.

The torrent of racism and general insults was humiliating. Soifon just stared out of the window and blocked it out. Eventually Bambietta said it was like talking to a brick wall. Eventually the bus came to its long awaited stop and Soifon quickly got up and left. Which was strange, she was expecting a trip from Bambietta at least. Soifon took a deep breath, the fresh air soothing her pent up rage. "We're not finished yet" Bambietta said behind her

"Oh go away" Soifon said

"Not until I've made you kiss my boots"

"I'm into that kind of shit" Soifon said.

Bambietta moved in for the attack. She was fast but Soifon was faster, she dodged her punch and grabbed her arm twisting it. Bambietta cried out as Soifon twisted even further than it should go…any further and tendons will start to rip. Just then Bambietta's posse moved in. With a panicked thought Soifon realised all of them were skilled in fighting, she would never be able to take them all out.

She struggled and fought against them but it was futile. She was eventually pinned to the ground. Bambietta straddled her and slammed a fist into her face. The world spun, everything went blurry. Another strike came, and then another. Soifon felt herself starting to cry, no matter how many times her brothers beat her she never really got used to the pain. "Oh looks like you're gonna cry" Bambietta laughed. Soifon saw her fist start its descent for another punch. Soifon closed her eyes and waited…but nothing happened. Soifon opened her eyes to see Bambietta's arm stopped by a dark skinned hand wrapped around her bicep. "Hey, you bitch get off me" Bambietta said. Suddenly Bambietta was hauled from Soifon. Soifon stared up at her saviour…it was that woman from three weeks ago, She was 'Shihouin'.

"What's the big idea?" Bambietta snapped jumping up. "Do you know who my father is, Hans Basterbine"  
"I'll raise your Basterbine with my father" She grinned "Ryuu Shihouin"

"Tsch" Bambietta tutted "c'mon, I think I saw Moomoo nearby"

"Ha!" One of her friends said "Moomoo, you're so clever with the insults"

"Shut up" She snapped. They all sauntered away. The woman looked down at Soifon and flashed a smile identical to the one from three weeks ago.

"So you must be Soifon" She held out her hand for Soifon to take. Not wanting to seem weak she used her own strength to stand up ignoring her hand. "My name is Yoruichi Shihouin; I guess you'll my new employee" She said  
"So I've heard" Soifon said brushing dust off her clothes.

"Watch my finger" Yoruichi said moving her finger around

"What are you doing?"  
"I got a feel at that girl's bicep, she wasn't weak" Yoruichi said "You took a few punches from her and you're barely delirious…impressive"

"I've taken worse" Soifon said wiping blood from her nose.

"Alright" Yoruichi said looking her up and down "I suppose you'll do"

"Are you gonna pay me?"

"That's all the youth of today think about" Yoruichi sighed "what happened to sex, drinking and boys"

"The twenty-first century happened"  
"Hey!" Yoruichi snapped "I was a teenager in the twenty-first century, cheeky"

"Well?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "I'll give you a wage"

"That's one thing I suppose" She looked at the Kotowari centre. Home sweet home. "So what are you doing here?"  
"I came to get you after school; good thing I arrived when I did" Yoruichi smiled "The Basterbine family can be dicks but they're all bark and no bite"

"She bit plenty hard" Soifon said

"I noticed" Yoruichi said "A girl that sadistic will leave the world a different place than when she entered"

"She's not that tough" Soifon said "she uses bullshit book moves"

"Good for her" Yoruichi said "Now! Let's tell Ukitake-san that we're heading to work"

"Are you guys…together?"

"Lovers?" Yoruichi looked down at her

"Yeah?"

"No" Yoruichi chuckled "he's not my type"

Yoruichi accompanied Soifon to the Kotowari centre and spoke to Ukitake whilst Soifon went to the bathroom to wash the blood from her face. Once she was done. She saw all of the Buddies sitting playing a card game. "Soifon, what happened to you?" Shuhei asked as she walked past

"I got decked" She said

"By who?" Matsumoto asked

"Some bitch called Bambietta"

"Oh" They all said in unison and went back to their game.

"You should try to stay out of her way" Renji said "her dad owns half the city"

"Who's Ryuu Shihouin?" Soifon found herself asking

"Uhh" Nanao said "He's kind of like…" She looked at the final Buddy: Kira

"He's like…" Kira shrugged "He's a guy that everyone is shit scared of and has lots of money"

"It's best not to get on his bad side" Renji said "if you're given a choice of either screwing over a Basterbine or screwing over Ryuu Shihouin…there's no question, you stay out of Ryuu's way and hope he doesn't ever hear your name in vain"  
"He sounds like a monster" Soifon said picturing a muscular giant of a man who could crush heads with his bare hands. "I'm working for his daughter"  
"We heard" Shuhei said "good luck, I hear she's quite the handful"

"I bet she is a handful" Renji said groping imaginary breasts. Soifon shook her head and walked off. Ukitake and Yoruichi we're chuckling about something. Soifon walked up to them.

"Ah, Soifon" Ukitake said "Yoruichi mentioned your little altercation, try to stay out of trouble, okay" He smiled. Soifon nodded, it always seemed possible when Ukitake said it but it never was.

"C'mon, I only get you for two hours" Yoruichi said. Her golden eyes scanned Soifon again "you don't mind if ask your sexual orientation?"

"Straight" Soifon said as she looked at a piece of paper that someone had drawn a picture of a six armed bipedal lion. Ukitake chuckled as he walked away, Soifon watched him feeling slightly confused…was that some kind of in-joke? "Why?"

"People are seduced, I wanted to know if you're into girls or dudes"

"Oh" Soifon said putting down the paper. "What are we gonna do first?"

"Nothing" Yoruichi said

"Uh…what?"

"We're gonna go to my office and pick up some stuff first"

"Like?"

"Stuff" Yoruichi said with a teasing smile on her lips

"I just know this night is gonna end in a fist fight"

"Are you a virgin, Soifon?"

"What kind of question is that?" Soifon said feeling redness enter her cheeks

"I'll take that as a yes"

"No I'm not a goddamn virgin, I had a boyfriend, we had sex, I gave him head, he gave me head, we kissed, we did things boyfriends and girlfriends did and that's that, now would you like to know all the Pokemon I caught in my many different save files of Silver I had on my Gameboy"

"Not necessary" Yoruichi said "Silver had the clone exploit, I usually aced the Elite four with four Lugias and two Suicune's"

Soifon shook her head as Yoruichi laughed. Now she'd been reminded of her ex-boyfriend…what a guy! But not really, he tried to throw her out of their flat…the quick way. Damn Ggio, if she saw him again…well let's just say she's got a special hole out in the forest she dug just for him. "I hope I haven't brought up some bad memories" Yoruichi said noting Soifon's distress at the reminder of her ex-boyfriend.

"Will you pair stop arguing" Toshiro snapped from the sofas in the corner.

"Sorry little whitey" Yoruichi said "by the way I heard you got a job at Urahara's sweet shop"

"I did and don't call me Whitey"

"Well did you get a job at his sweet shop or…" Yoruichi raised an eyebrow "get a job at his _sweet shop_?"

"The latter" Toshiro said "I like it there"

"Yes, yes, yes, very exciting" Yoruichi said clicking her fingers at Soifon "come now Soifon, let's bounce"

Soifon followed Yoruichi outside and into her car, a purple Aston Martin that suited her well. "How did you afford such a car?" Soifon asked

"My daddy is rich" Yoruichi said

"Uh…"

"I too am rich; I bought it with my own hard earned money"

"How much do you earn from being a PI"

"Meh" Yoruichi said "It can vary; all my money comes from my old job"

"Which was?" Soifon asked. Yoruichi stared at her, her golden eyes pierced into her soul

"I was a con artist"

"A what?"

"Just like my father I used to target filthy rich people and exploit money from them" Yoruichi said "my father is like the Emperor Palpatine of con artists, there is no one in the multi-million dollar denominator who doesn't know who he is and to stay very much out of his way. He usually has his minions to do his Conning these days since everyone knows his face and refuses to do business with him"

"Oh right"

"I was quite the femme fatale back in the day…four years ago" Yoruichi shrugged "I've gone legit now of course"

"Being a Private Detective isn't a particularly legitimate business" Soifon said. Yoruichi started her car. Soifon buckled her seatbelt and felt the tug of acceleration as Yoruichi drove off.

Soifon didn't know where Yoruichi's office was but it was quite the distance. Yoruichi did nothing but shout and complain about the speed people in front of her drove at. Typical, someone who seemed perfect would have some kind of serious problem like road rage. It didn't help the fact that that song by Catatonia was on the radio.

Eventually she pulled up at a row of older buildings that housed offices for people like Lawyers and high quality MD's. "Here's me in-between Goodman and Goodman" Yoruichi said. "The Goodman on my left is an advisor for banking and the Goodman on my right is a lawyer…neither of them are good men"

"Good for them" Soifon said

"Bad for me" Yoruichi said "they're both fucking pricks" Soifon looked at Yoruichi. She didn't seem like the cussing type and then she came out with that? She grinned at Soifon "C'mon I'll get you your work phone"

"Work phone?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "you don't have a cell phone, Ukitake said"

"No"

"Well I bought one for you, I'll need to phone and text you" Yoruichi said "It's an IPhone so be careful with it"

"Aren't they a bit expensive?"

"No not really" Yoruichi smiled "it was only a thousand bucks"

"What?" Soifon said trying not to let her jaw drop open. Yoruichi laughed again.

"C'mon I'll show you your desk" Yoruichi said "I bought everything especially for you"

"Why?"

"I…" Yoruichi shifted in the seat and looked slightly awkward "I'm a bit of a shopaholic, I just need an excuse to spend copious amounts of money and I'll do it"

"You couldn't buy me a car" Soifon muttered.

"Sure thing" Yoruichi said pulling out a notepad "What'd you like Ford, Mazda?"

"That was a joke!"

"Aww" Yoruichi said visibly let down. "I'll just buy a car anyway"

She stepped out and locked the car once Soifon had followed. "I usually work alone" Yoruichi said "there are a few people I liaise with for information"

"So you've got a secret network of highly trained killers and thieves?"  
"No" Yoruichi stared at her "my friends from childhood. Now that I mention childhood friends I heard Ukitake say your second name is Feng, right?"

"Yeah"  
"No relation to Shaozu Feng by any chance"

"Uh…" Soifon stared "He's my big brother"

"He and my brother were good friends" Yoruichi said "he was nice guy, he stayed with us when he was going through university"

"He went to university?" Soifon said feeling slight jealousy bubbling up.

"Yes" She said "he was studying anthropology"

"He left when I was ten" Soifon said "my brothers were not nice people"

"He seemed nice to me"

"That's why I feel so betrayed by his exit" Soifon said "He was the only barrier between my brothers and me and he just left"

"What about your father?"

"He was an alcoholic, he was a weak man, he was broken he couldn't take his memories from the Falklands War" Soifon said "PTSD they call it"

"Sounds tough"

"Can you believe he was in the SAS too?" Soifon chuckled "he never used to be depressed and shit, it really started when we moved to America, and he started getting nightmares and my brother's fell in with the wrong kind of crowd. I mean, my father taught my brothers how to fight, they were monsters"

"Where are they now?"

"Dead" She said "they tried to rob a bank and got into a shoot up with the Filth and all were killed"

"Okay then" Yoruichi said. She opened the door with a frosted glass panel on it saying:

Yoruichi Shihouin

Private Detective

Open hours 10am-5pm

Inside it was a modern styled staircase with white painted walls and abstract paintings. The carpet was blue and at the top of the stares was a small desk with a vase on it. "I try to keep it minimalist"

"Good for you" Soifon said

"You really are quite the little bitch" Yoruichi chuckled "someone needs to loosen you up a little"

"I hate that"

"What?"

"The instant someone comes across someone who is INTP you think they're weird or a bitch and automatically need someone to _loosen them up_"

"Say what you want" Yoruichi said "but there is no way you're INTP you're too confrontational"

"INTP is just a template my confrontational side is the only thing out of character" Soifon snapped "what about you, huh? What's your personality type?"

"I don't like to brand myself with a category" Yoruichi said "I don't have a personality type, I'm the deformed reaction that came when a very Introverted little girl was forced to become very extroverted in a short amount of time"

"My heart bleeds" Soifon said "It must be so hard being born with a silver spoon"

"Now who's being assuming" Yoruichi snapped back "do you really think money is the only thing in this world that if you suddenly gained a hundred million bucks every problem would just disappear?" Yoruichi laughed scornfully "don't make me laugh, I was the most popular girl at School, everyone knew who I was and they all wanted to be my friend, I was the princess of the Shihouin Empire. My time at school was the loneliest I've ever been"

"How can you be lonely if everyone liked you?"

"_Because _everyone liked me I was lonely" Yoruichi said "take Pokémon back into this, imagine at the beginning of the game you were just giver six level one hundred Legendries and told to go win the league. Well no one would even touch you, it'd be boring and rubbish. People are defined by friends _and enemies _I had no enemies, no one crossed me I had no rival, no one to beat or surpass"

"Why is that so bad?" Soifon snapped "I was beat daily for sport and humiliated by everyone and anyone who saw me, my father hated me more than anyone and three me out for no reason, I've never had anything in this world _except enemies_"

This was never going to work, Soifon thought. She and Yoruichi were completely different people; they were at opposite ends of the scale. It was really too bad. She was kinda warming up to the idea of being a PI…

End of Chapter Two

** Authors Note: Okay so I know not much is happening right now but bear with me here I'm trying to set the scene a little. I thought Yoruichi and Soifon being complete opposites at first would be quite poetic. I'm still not sure what the first case is gonna be so I'm gonna take a wee bit to think about it. Next chapter will be soon (I write mostly on weekends and weeks I'm on dayshift since I have no friends…that's true actually)**


	3. Chapter 3: Creep

Yoruichi typed away on her computer and tried to ignore Soifon who was doing much the same. The argument was quite a bitter one, Yoruichi hadn't meant to let her emotions get the better of her but it was the girls fault for being so selfish and thick-headed. Yoruichi scolded herself again, the girl can't be fully to blame, and Yoruichi did rise to the challenge…

The clocked showed six o'clock "I think that's enough for today, goodbye, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out" Yoruichi said "same time tomorrow"

"Uh…" Soifon stared at her "you're gonna keep me?"

"Sure why not, it's a hassle hiring someone else so you'll have to do for now"

"Bye then" Soifon said walking out of the door. Yoruichi rubbed her temples, wow she had a sore head!

Her phone rang. "Yoruichi Private Eye" She said

"Hi" said her father's comforting voice

"Howdy" Yoruichi said leaning back on her chair "are you back from your trip?"

"Yep" He said "I got back an hour ago"

"Nice, I might come over for some lunch" Yoruichi said

"That'd be nice, it's been a while since you've graced the halls of this house like your mother once did" He said. He sighed.

"Try not to think about it" Yoruichi said. Her mother's death pained everyone in the family but it left the deepest scars on her father, he fell into a coma for three weeks after she'd died. Apparently he was close to dying solely of a broken heart.

"Anyway" He said "I hear you applied for that WISH programme"

"I did" Yoruichi said "I've already got a little helper"

"I hope your little helper knows who they're getting immersed in"

"Of course she doesn't"

"She?" She heard the smile in her father's voice. He teased her relentlessly for being a lesbian. "I hope nothing…unscrupulous is going on"

"No!" Yoruichi snapped "she's only seventeen"

"Do you know what happens to seventeen year olds?"

"No" Yoruichi said sighing "what?"

"They turn Eighteen"

"I think you want me to get arrested for being a child molester"

"It'd certainly make our family history even more colourful than it already is" He said with a chuckle "but seriously, why couldn't you have stayed with Nel, she was a nice girl"  
"It wasn't going to work out" Yoruichi said "I was a Con artist and she was a cop…it was like a bad sitcom"

"But you've gave it up now"

"It's too late" Yoruichi said "I've already burnt that bridge"

"Although are you bringing any friends with you to lunch?"

"Oh" Yoruichi said smiling this time "you want to see _her_ again"

"No…NO!" He said unconvincingly

"Don't lie to me" Yoruichi said slyly "What is it about her…huh…the big boobs? The fiery attitude, you're such a masochist"

"Stop tempting me you devil" He said "get thee behind me, Satan!"

"Here I'll give you her number she was just _dying _to see you recently" Yoruichi said

"You fib" He laughed "back to business; you must've got a…case recently"

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to be a bit more specific" Yoruichi said

"Two people killed in their hotel room" He said "I was looking at it in the paper, it's quite the puzzler"

"Oh yeah" Yoruichi said "I've been offered it but I haven't given an answer yet, I wasn't wanting to throw the newbie in at the deep end"

"Fair enough"  
"I bet you can't guess who's been picking on her at school?"

"Your little apprentice?"

"Yeah"

"I have no idea, enlighten me"

"The little heir to the Basterbine fortune" Yoruichi said

"Oh Bambietta, I met her once…nice girl"

"Really?"

"No I wanted to punch her head off" He said "but I was trying to cut down on the violent acts so I let her arrogance slip…next time she won't be so lucky. Would you like me to crucify her father...again?"  
"No" Yoruichi said "I think Soifon needs a rival of sorts"  
"But making an enemy of a Basterbine is a risky business" He said "Hans has had me watching my back more than a few times"

"But you've surpassed him in every sense of the word"

"It was the toughest conquest in my career, the man knows business, he's definitely more than you can handle and if his daughter is anything like he is she'll be the death of your little apprentice"

"Maybe so" Yoruichi said "tell me more about this case"

"Well" He said "Two consenting…people were having…relations and they were both butchered by a katana. Some of their organs were taken"

"So?"

"They were in the top floor of a hotel, locked key card room that has no entries or exits near the time of death recorded" He said "and the girl…she was only fourteen"

"Fuck sake"

"Potty mouth" He said "what do you think?"  
"Easy" Yoruichi said "the killer jumped onto the balcony"  
"The roof door was sealed by a key card system which, also, wasn't activated anytime near the time of death"

"Hmm" Yoruichi thought "I think I'll take this one"

"That's the spirit" He said "…did you really mean it: you'll give me Kukaku's number?"

"No!" Yoruichi almost shrieked "you horny old man!"

"D'aww" He said tutting "Okay, I'll see you for lunch tomorrow"

"Bye!" She said

"Love you" He said

"Likewise" Yoruichi said

"Bye!"

"Bye!" She said again

"Hang up"

"No you hang up"

"No…3-2-1 hang up!" He said. Yoruichi hung up. She grinned and shook her head; her dad was such an upbeat guy. Yoruichi predicted she wouldn't be alive today if her brother and father weren't as supporting as they were. Her father was always the shoulder she could cry on. He never lectured her about the troubles of life or what she should and shouldn't do, he believed she'd learn from experience and be a better person from it and Yoruichi genuinely believed he was right.

Her Cell phone rang. "Yellow" Yoruichi said. It was a blocked number.

"…I can see you" Said a creepy male voice

"Oh my" Yoruichi said finding herself grinning…it'd been too long since she'd got a prank call.

"Mmm" The voice moaned "that pink tank top, you're practically bursting out of it…you're good enough to eat"  
"I'd say it was more Magenta than pink" Yoruichi said swivelling her chair.

"When you least expect it I'll gut you" The voice said

"You're laying it on a bit thick" Yoruichi laughed

"Oh dear" Said the voice "I think you need some convincing…what about this little cunt" There was a sound like rustling.

"Get off me you fuckin freak" Yoruichi heard Soifon's voice. She snapped up and looked out of the window. There was nothing.

"Ah you hear that" He said "your little apprentice is…mmm…" There was a sound like sucking

"What the fuck are you doing?" She heard Soifon said. There was another struggling sound.

"Oh so delicious, her sweat makes the delicious skin on her thigh so…yummy"

"Listen here" Yoruichi said "If you let her go right now I'll forget this ever happened and you won't be found scattered all over Rukon"

"No, no, no" He said "I'll let this little strumpet go, on one condition"

"What?"

"You take the Organ Stealing case" He chuckled maniacally "try to find out who I am, if you can" Then he was gone.  
"Urgh" She heard Soifon groan "he's away now" She said with a sound like picking the phone up.  
"Who was he?"

"I don't know" Soifon said "gimmie a sec, I need to pull up my trousers"

"He didn't…do _it_?"

"No" Soifon said "he just kept licking my sweat off…I'm gonna have nightmares about this" She groaned "I never saw his face I was blindfolded"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said "where are you?"

"I'm on the roof opposite" She said. Yoruichi rolled her seat to the window and peered out. She could see Soifon standing looking back at her.

"I'm coming over" Yoruichi said jumping off of her chair. "Don't move"  
"Okay" She said. She hung up and ran out of her office. Damn it! She knew she should have given Soifon a run home in her car it was just selfish not to. Yoruichi realised she was sweating and panting, she wasn't out of fitness, in fact she'd never been more in shape than she was now. Was she panicking? It'd been so long since she'd worried about someone she'd forgotten how it felt.

Sprinting down the stairs she took five at a time. She dived through the door, ran across the street avoiding a car as she went. The driver shouted an insult and peeped his horn. Yoruichi barely glanced at him. She ran into a side alley and quickly climbed the fire escape. She reached the roof and looked around for Soifon. There! She saw the teenager sitting with her knees up by her chin and her arms wrapped around them. She sobbed quietly, her shoulders moved with her sobs.

Yoruichi approached slowly. "Hi there" She said trying to smile warmly. It only made Soifon sob louder. Yoruichi sat beside her and wrapped her arms around the girl. "I'm here now" She consoled "your safe now"

"Oh god" Soifon gripped Yoruichi's arms and pulled her tighter around her. She wept into her shoulder.

"I guess I should get you a car" Yoruichi said into her ear. Soifon laughed between sobs.

Soifon had cuddled into Yoruichi and wept until she fell asleep. Yoruichi picked her up and carried her to her car. She slowly put her into the passenger seat. Yoruichi hopped into the driver's seat. Glancing at Soifon she felt an unparalleled feeling of sympathy; she couldn't imagine what the girl must be going through. Bullied at school, abusive family, sexually assaulted whilst at work; Yoruichi shook her head how could she ever compare her own problems to this girl. At least she wasn't going through sexuality problems…

Yoruichi made a silent promise to herself. From this day on the girl, Soifon, she'd give her life to protect her. No one deserved to be screwed over by life this much. She stared the car and drove. It took a little longer to reach the Kotowari Centre due to idiotic drivers but she kept her frustration silent. Her princess was sleeping and shouldn't be disturbed.

She picked Soifon up once she'd parked. She barely stirred. Yoruichi caringly wiped drool from the corner of her mouth. Yoruichi's inner lesbian wanted just stick her lips on her cute soft mouth but she resisted. Yoruichi kicked the push doors opened and walked in. Shuhei and Toshiro played a shooting game on the TV by the sofas. Hiyori, Matsumoto and Hinamori all sat on computers. No one even turned when she came in. So she just ignored them and carried Soifon to her room. Soifon's room was locked but Yoruichi had pulled her key out beforehand. She unlocked the door and pulled it open. She lightly lay Soifon down on her bed. She seemed so frail lying there. Yoruichi pulled her blankets over her and put her keys on the table.

She'd have to speak to Ukitake about this. Let Soifon have a day off School. She reluctantly left Soifon's side and walked back into the utility room. "Oh hey Yoruichi" Said Matsumoto "I never saw you come in"

"I was just taking Soifon to her room"

"I'm presuming since you used the word 'taking' she was somehow incapacitated?" Toshiro said looking over at them.

"You are a perceptive young man" Yoruichi said "yes…Soifon had a bit of a traumatic experience today"

"What happened?" Hinamori said

"Uh…" Yoruichi said trying to phrase it properly "she was molested by a psycho"

"Is that a joke?" Toshiro said

"No" Yoruichi said scowling at him "damn it, it'll take her a while to get over it…I don't wanna hear about any hostilities toward her or you'll all have me to deal with"

"Scary" Shuhei said shaking his head. He'd felt Yoruichi's wrath once before…never again.

"Sure" Hinamori said standing up. "I'm gonna see if she's alright"

"Go ahead" Yoruichi said "she's asleep"

"Ah" Ukitake said walking through the Warden door "How was Soifon's first day at…" He noticed everyone's expressions "oh dear"

"We're gonna need to have a little talk" Yoruichi said "about Soifon"

"Come with me then" Ukitake said "I hope nothing too serious has happened"

"We'll have to see just how serious when Soifon wakes up" Yoruichi replied.

She followed Ukitake into an office. He sat down and watched her as she sat on the table. "Well?" He said

"Well" Yoruichi said "I got Soifon after school, she was being picked on by some of the other girls but that isn't the problem. When Soifon was done with today's work…well we had a bit of an argument and I sent her home…except some guy, probably that Organ Stealing killer from the news captured her and molested her"  
"Molested?" He said sounding shocked

"Yes" Yoruichi said "he didn't physically rape her but he was damn close"

"This isn't good" Ukitake said "How do you think she'll cope?"

"I don't know" Yoruichi said "she's been through a lot in her life and this may very well be the last straw"

"We'll just have to stay by her side and give her all our support for now" He said "hopefully we can sweep it under the rug"  
"I doubt it" Yoruichi said. "I don't know what to do" she added

"Neither do I" He replied "Perhaps you should speak to Nel, get her to get her feelers out"  
"Hmm" Yoruichi said "I know who I'll ask about this"

"Who?"

"Kukaku Shiba"

"She's still in the…information business?"

"Quite" Yoruichi said "give Soifon my love…" She took a deep breath "It's been a while since I've been on the warpath, I almost miss it"

"Don't drag Soifon into anything bad, you hear?" Ukitake said

"You're a bit late" Yoruichi said "I'll speak to you tomorrow"

"Goodbye" He said.

Yoruichi quickly left the building. She'd have to get to Kukaku quickly people know Kukaku knows things and they know Kukaku takes bribes, she can keep her mouth shut for a price. Hopefully this maniac hasn't paid her off. That been said; Kukaku does take counter bribes from people she trusts. She jumped in her car and started it. She drove off toward the centre of the city. She stopped eventually at a bar called The Roman Candle. Jumping out of her car, after she parked in the car park behind the bar, she walked into the bar.

Inside was the usual mob of people. Urahara sat in the corner typing away on a laptop. Kenpachi leaned against the bar speaking to the barmaid, a big busted woman missing her left arm. A wooden prosthetic arm replaced it. Yoruichi walked up to them and jumped on a barstool. "Hey there" The Barmaid said

"Kukaku" Yoruichi said "it seems someone has decided the best thing to do with their free time is piss me off"  
"Heh" Kukaku laughed "I guess I had better pour you a double"

"I could do with a Cero"

"Oh that bad"

"Yep" Yoruichi said "In fact make it a Gran Ray Cero"

"Huh" Kukaku said "Kenpachi here managed three Gran Rays before he passed out"

"Give me sustenance!" Yoruichi snapped. Kukaku laughed and went ahead making her dangerous cocktail. Once she was finished making the Cero she added a single teaspoon of Absinthe making it a Gran Ray. Yoruichi took the cocktail and downed it. Fire burned through her body loosening her stress. "Okay" Yoruichi said "I need to know what you know about that Organ Stealer"

"He's a quiet bastard" Kukaku said "keeps himself to himself, he's not local"  
"Any idea where he came from?"

"I don't know" Kukaku said "some say he came from America and some say he's fresh out of the Maggots Nest"

"That nuthouse?" Kenpachi said

"Yeah" Kukaku said "apparently this guy really takes the biscuit"

"Anything else?" Yoruichi asked

"Nada" Kukaku said "perhaps you've heard something…" She looked at another man sitting by himself at the bar "Grimmjow"

"I know nuthin" He said staring at his drink "but you still haven't given me my info yet"

"Hmm" Kukaku said leaning on the counter "Where is Ulquiorra Cifer?"

"Yeah"

"This…" Kukaku stroked her chin "I know where he is, but you give me something in return"

"What do you want?"

"Help Yoruichi dig up dirt on this killer" Kukaku said

"Why should I help her, she's a cop"  
"I'm actually a PI" Yoruichi said. Grimmjow scowled at her.

"I told you why you're helping her" Kukaku said "but it's your choice"  
"Listen here" He said

"Nah" Kenpachi said looming over Grimmjow "you listen, take Kukaku's deal or I'm chucking you out"

"I always wanted to be a detective" Grimmjow grinned.

[End of Chapter three]


	4. Chapter 4: Friends

**SUPER SERIOUS DISCLAIMER! If you're of a squeamish nature, this chapter isn't for you. I rated it M for a reason, and hope you know I do not condone or perform any of the weird shit in this chapter and Bleach rightfully belongs to Tite Kubo blah, blah, blah…Enjoy! **

Kukaku decided now was the time. It was ten minutes to three and it was closing time. Only Kisuke remained. He always stayed till he was last. Kukaku wanted him. Back when they were teenagers Kukaku used to say Kisuke would never get a girlfriend and now almost her every waking thought was the many different positions she could hold whilst he rammed his penis inside of her. Of course he didn't know she felt this way, he was still as awkward with the ladies as he ever was. Today was the day.

She locked the door and walked over to him. She pushed his laptop closed almost catching his fingers. "Is it closing time?" He said looking around "I keep losing track of time"

"No" She said sitting on the table in front of him. She spread her legs "its opening time"

"I-I-I don't think I like where you're going with this"

"Let me clarify" She dropped a condom in its wrapper on his lap "I…want your…penis inside…my vagina"

"This isn't funny you know" He said scratching his head

"I'm not laughing" She replied and fell onto his lap her legs akimbo at either side of him. He quickly started to rise... Kukaku liked what she felt, she gyrated her hips a little to arouse him more.

"Holy crap" He said

"I know" She smiled "I know you want to touch them so do it" She pushed her breasts up with her arm.

"I thought w-we were just friends" He said  
"We're not anymore" Kukaku said "I'll let you put it anywhere…" She leaned in pushing her breasts into his face after kissing his ear she said: "_anywhere_"

"Oh crap!" He said again

"Come now" She said smiling at her acute choice of words "let's go upstairs"

Kisuke finally became dominant. Grabbed her waist and stood up. She stayed in place, their groins only separated by some clothing. She wrapped her strong legs around him. "Be rough with me, Kisuke"

"You're wish is my command" He said peeling her red tank top off. "My Benehime"

***Change***

A few hours and a few angry neighbours complaining about orgasm noises later, Yoruichi walked toward the Kotowari centre. She didn't know if Soifon would be awake yet but she wanted to see her. Yoruichi found herself smiling, Soifon was really attracting her. Hook, line and sinker. Yoruichi wondered what it was about her she liked so much. She'd never really met anyone quite like her. Maybe it was the scruffy clothes that were a few sizes too big and made her look even smaller. Or maybe the strange kind of innocence she had it made Yoruichi just want to flash her Credit Card and just take the girl away and show her everything good and beautiful in this world.

Yoruichi opened the door and stepped in. No one seemed to be there. The 'Bedroom's' door opened and Toshiro walked out with his schoolbag wrapped around his chest. "Yo Shiro-chan"

"Just because you change the language you say it in doesn't change how annoying it is" He snapped

"Grumpy" Yoruichi said "I've got soup" She said raising a Tupperware tub of homemade chicken noodle soup she'd concocted the night before when she was considering how she was going to catch this killer.

"You know where the kitchen is" He replied

"Yes…see ya" Yoruichi said "Poco Blanco"

"I might stab you" Toshiro muttered as he left the building. Yoruichi chuckled and walked into the Staff room where the kitchen was located. Shuhei and Renji both sat at a table talking about…women. "Hi boys" She said grinning. "You mind I use the microwave"

"Sure thing"

"Excellent" She dropped the tub in and turned the timer. The microwave buzzed and the tub slowly turned. "How was she last night?"

"She never left her room" Renji said "she locked her door; we do say you're not supposed to do that but it didn't mean much to let it slip all things considered"

"She's still alive" Shuhei added when he realised Yoruichi seemed worried "we saw her going to the bathroom"

"Okay then" Yoruichi said "I was thinking of taking her somewhere"

"Somewhere?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "I think she needs a little recuperation I invited myself to my dad's for lunch I might take her along"

"I don't see why Ukitake wouldn't let you" Renji shrugged "just don't get her sexually assaulted again"

Yoruichi turned around when the microwave pinged and retrieved Soifon's soup. She poured it into a bowl and dunked a spoon in there too. She quickly left the two men and strolled into the Bedrooms corridor. Soifon's room was the only unmarked one. Yoruichi tried the handle, thankfully it was unlocked. She stepped in. Soifon was in in the process of getting dressed. She stared at Yoruichi who, in turn, stared at Soifon wearing only a pair of panties and a Soccer t-shirt. The T-shirt was, like most of her clothes, too big for her and covered most of the money shots but those legs…they were nice.

"Uh…" Soifon said "could you at least turn around"

"Sorry" Yoruichi turned around. Luckily her skin was so dark or Soifon would have noticed her cheeks reddening.

"I'm done" Soifon said

"Do you have to wear Tack pants?"

"What's wrong with Trackies?"

"Nothing" Yoruichi said "and the Soccer shirt, really?"

"It's not Soccer its Football and Chelsea are the best"

"Who?" Yoruichi sighed "I don't think we could be more opposite"

"Opposites attract" Soifon chuckled looking at the soup. Yoruichi wondered if there was deeper meaning behind that phrase, did Soifon find her attractive as well?

"I'd like to go to London one day" Yoruichi said "fancy coming along?"

"Not two days in each other's company and your already taking me on holiday, you know how to seep a girl off her feet"

"All jokes aside" Yoruichi said "how are you feeling?"

"I'm good" Soifon said. She stared at Yoruichi "tell me we're hunting this guy"

"I intended to do it myself" Yoruichi said "if you want to help, I won't stop you"

"Thanks" Soifon said. She stared out of the window, her hands clenched in fists of rage "you son of a bitch I'll find you" She muttered. Yoruichi put Soifon's soup on her bedside table. "Is that for me?"

"Did you think I came here just to microwave some soup for myself?"

"Ouch" Soifon said "I'm guessing I've got the day off school"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "I'm taking you out for a trip"

"Where to?"

"You'll get to meet my dad" She said. Yoruichi laughed when Soifon looked a little peaky. "Don't worry, just flash him the cutest smile you've got and he'll melt like butter"

"Yeah, I'm not so good at using my 'feminine charm'" Soifon said

"I noticed" Yoruichi said "you strike me as very tomboyish"

"Why do I think this is pointing back to that sexual orientation question yesterday?" Soifon said

"No, no, no" Yoruichi said chuckling "your style just…uh…gives some people the wrong impression" Yoruichi mentally braced for another argument. Soifon merely chuckled.

"I get that a lot" Soifon said "I dress in whatever I like; I think it's a liberty to not be so self-conscious about what you wear"

"Being a self-confessed Introvert you must not like attention from people though?"

"I don't" Soifon said "but I like to be transparent…never mind me!" Soifon snapped looking Yoruichi up and down "What's with the super tight yoga pants huh?" She picked up her phone, pretended to listen "Oh wait, it's for you Brazzers want their Pornstar back"

"These aren't yoga pants" Yoruichi looked at her pants that she usually wore when she was expecting a fight; they allowed maximum movement without being naked.

"The jacket doesn't help" Soifon said "them shoulder pads…now the 1980's want their electro music video dancer back"

"Whoa" Yoruichi said

"Not even a lead dancer…they're backup dancer shoulder pads"

Yoruichi self-consciously put her hands on her jackets shoulder pads. "For a PI you get worked up easily" Soifon said

"Hello pot my name is kettle" Yoruichi retorted. Soifon chuckled and sat on her bed and picked up her bowl of soup. She took a few spoonful's into her mouth. Yoruichi watched as a small trickle of liquid broke from her moistened lips and made its way down her chin. She wiped it off with her hand. "Did you make this?"

"Uhh…" Yoruichi shook her lecherous thoughts away "yeah"

God, that girl was sexy! "So when are we going?" Soifon asked putting the empty bowl down.

"My dad usually has lunch about one" Yoruichi said "do you drink?"

"Sometimes" Soifon said

"Good I know a place that sells to minors, c'mon" Yoruichi said. "Hopefully Kukaku is up, she sometimes likes a late night"

"Who's Kukaku?"

"You remember I said I never had an enemy?" Yoruichi said

"Yeah"

"Well Kukaku became my enemy when she was transferred to our School" Yoruichi said "I hated her…she was my first kiss"

"Wait what?"

"What?"

"You just said she was your enemy and then you said she was your first kiss" Soifon said

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "I didn't like her at first but then we became friends and competed for everything, boys, grades and we even raced each other to school"

"Boys?" Soifon said "I'm confused"

"Ah ha" Yoruichi laughed "She was my first kiss, you know in the film Cruel Intentions where one bitch is all like 'I've never kissed a guy' and then the other is like 'yeah it goes a little something like this' then they kiss and it becomes one of the most paused movie scenes in history?"

"…Yeah?"

"That" Yoruichi said "she gave some practice for the guys, but besides relatives she was the first person I kissed"

"Okay" Soifon said. Yoruichi wasn't going to admit she was a lesbian and that it was that kiss that made her gay. Women just had softer lips…and softer breasts. Yoruichi decided to keep her homosexuality to herself, she didn't want to make Soifon awkward, they'd spent a lot of time in each other's arms. Though, if Soifon asked if she was gay she'd admit it, she was a proud lesbian! "So what was it like?"

"What?"

"Kissing a girl"

"I dunno…" Yoruichi said "like kissing a dude I suppose"

"Can…" Soifon stared out of the window for a second "…you practise kissing with me?"

"Soifon that's inappropriate" Yoruichi painfully said. The day that girl was over eighteen she was gonna take no prisoners getting her into bed but…she was only seventeen and thus inappropriate.

"Crap, yeah" Soifon said, her cheeks reddened "I keep forgetting you're a lot older than me. It's not too bad though" Soifon added "the date is the 7th of February; my eighteenth is only in four days"

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"  
"I just want to try" Soifon said quite meekly

Yoruichi gave a fake sigh of exasperation. She walked over and sat next to Soifon who looked awkwardly at her hands. "If you want to learn how to kiss properly you're gonna have to pay attention"

"Sure" She said. Her steely grey eyes regarded Yoruichi with a strange kind of curiosity.

"Here goes" Yoruichi said. She leaned in, her brain racing to finally acknowledge the taste of those lips. Closer…now Soifon's breath tickled her upper lip, closer… Soifon's lips started to part to allow Yoruichi's tongue to enter her mouth; closer…there was a loud bang at the door. "You in there Soifon?" Kyoraku said. DAMN IT!

Soifon pulled away and chuckled awkwardly "Yeah" She replied

"Alright" He said "just wanted to make sure"

"It was as if he knew" Soifon said slouching "never mind" She stood up "we'll finish this another time I suppose"

"Fair enough" Yoruichi said. She stood up and on complete impulse she landed a quick kiss on Soifon's lips. "You can't leave a girl high and dry like that"

"Uh..." Her cheeks went redder than Yoruichi had ever seen "don't make that a habit"

"Sorry" Yoruichi said

"Time to get a drink" Yoruichi said trying to seem as relaxed as possible even though her heart was racing. The brief taste she'd had of Soifon's lips was nice, they tasted of soup…

***change***

Soifon frowned as Yoruichi opened the door. She'd just wanted to be friendly with Yoruichi and do things that normal girls did…like practice kissing. Now it was super awkward, Yoruichi seemed tense. She hoped she hadn't emotionally blackmailed Yoruichi into doing something she didn't want to. Wait…she must've wanted to kiss her or she wouldn't have given her that peck when Kyoraku distracted them.

Soifon followed Yoruichi. "Did you have any nightmares?" Yoruichi said

"No" Soifon replied "I have a reoccurring dream"

"What happens?"

"Well…" Soifon thought back to her dream "It starts I'm locked in the highest tower of a big castle. I'm wearing an ugly pink frock, I can't move, I've been trapped, I can't escape" She shook her head "then I hear it…someone shouts 'Soifon!' from behind me. I look up and see a dashing prince, who's come to rescue me, I never see his face" Soifon said "he jumps down and just before he picks me up I wake up…I've dreamt that dream over a thousand times and I've never been rescued ever"

"Sounds sad" Yoruichi said looking

"It's more frustrating" Soifon said "as if my brain is telling me I'm a lost cause, there is no one who's gonna rescue me"

"Or maybe that you haven't met your saviour yet" Yoruichi smiled at her. Soifon felt a comfortable warm feeling inside her. Yoruichi was starting to really make her happy. She couldn't understand why…all it took was one of those playful smiles and all her stress was gone. Was this the big sister she'd always dreamed of having or something more…? She shook her head violently, NO! She can't be thinking those thoughts again, not after what her brothers showed her what happened to gays in the family by kicking their gay cousin into the ground.

Soifon couldn't deny that Yoruichi was an attractive woman; she sat in her car next to her. Her legs seemed strong but soft, her orange coat covered another tank top which this time was cyan and had the word 'Eros' emblazoned on it. Her breasts were big and looked soft. Her golden eyes scanned the road with all the alertness of a cheetah searching for prey, her soft purple hair was tied into a ponytail which was secured with a piece of red silk. "You might see Shaozu as well; he drinks there quite early every now and then"

"That makes me really nervous" Soifon said "I haven't seen him in a few years. What should I say?"

"Tell him he's a dick for leaving you, I don't know"

It didn't take Yoruichi long to reach the bar she was talking about. It was quite a ramshackle little bar called The Roman Candle but it seemed comfortable and quite welcoming. Yoruichi stepped through the doors first. "Kukaku is quite a fiery woman but she always pulls through for a friend" Yoruichi smiled at Kukaku "She saved my life more than once"

"Yoruichi" Kukaku said putting the glass down "It's been a while since you've been in this early"

"It's been a while since I've seen Kisuke here this early too" Yoruichi said looking at a man who sat in the corner typing on a laptop. He seemed…worn out.

"Hi Yoruichi-san" He said waving stupidly.

"Uh-huh" Yoruichi nodded "did Grimmjow find anything?"

"Dunno" Kukaku said "I haven't seen him since last night"

"Anyway" She said "I'd like you to meet my protégé Soifon!"

"Uh…hi" Soifon said

"Nice" Kukaku said "just your type"

"I'm gonna be taking her to meet my dad, wanna come along?"

"And get perved on all day" Kukaku said "sure why not"

"Ki-suck" Yoruichi said to the blonde man "you in for lunch at my dad's"

"No…" He sighed "I need to get to the sweet shop before Toshiro comes or he'll be pissed"

"Sometimes I wonder who the boss of the joint is"

"I think Kisuke can be dominant when it suits him" Kukaku said

"Oh you've slept together" Yoruichi said "It's about time"

"What, how did you know?" Kukaku said

"What, you mean the fact Kisuke is never out of his house this early means he obviously stayed the night, this cemented by the fact he's wearing the same clothes, you're tired, he's tired, you said he can be dominant and that rumour going around about the fact you like it 'Rough', there you go. Case Closed"

"This is what it's like having a damn mentalist as a friend" Kukaku said "I can't keep a secret"

"Also those scratch marks are showing through your t-shirt Kisuke" She added. Soifon looked at his back. Truth be told there were eight red lines down his back. "I hear you only scratch when they put it in your ass"

"Shut up!" Kukaku snapped "I have an image to keep you know"

"It's alright" Yoruichi consoled "it's perfectly natural for a woman to like it even though they don't particularly have a prostate like men do"

"You're the one to complain about how things are natural…fish monger"

"What is it?" Yoruichi smiled "Is it the penetration?" She grinned "do women get anal orgasms?"

"Of course they do…" Kukaku said "I read that somewhere"

"Sure you did" Yoruichi said "I wonder if it feels nice, I might try it"

"Stop mocking me, woman" Kukaku snapped. Soifon looked from one woman to the other, they both were absolutely loving this. A good natured rivalry at its finest. "Oh and by the way use a vibrator first to loosen yourself up, it gets painful the first time"

"Gross" Soifon muttered. Kukaku laughed and looked deep into Soifon's eyes

"I'm so used to it now" She said holding the stare "I don't even need to use lube"

"She's a freak isn't she" Yoruichi said "c'mon, let's sit"

"You want me to put something on?"

"Sure get you're dorky cousin to make some fries or something"

"Sure thing" Kukaku said "Ichigo!" She yelled into a door labelled 'Kitchen' "Make yourself useful and put on some fries"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Soifon heard someone shout. Kukaku sighed

"I love that kid like he was my own" She scowled at Soifon "he goes to your school; I hope you haven't been bullying him"

"I wouldn't worry about Soifon" Yoruichi said. Kukaku walked away "by the way, she was joking"

"When?"

"The whole Anal thing she was just teasing you"  
"Why, she was only really embarrassing herself"

"Was she now?" Yoruichi said "that's why your cheeks are scarlet"

The doors bust open and a tall blue haired man came in dragging a heavily beaten by the arm. "Yo" He said to Yoruichi "Now, Ggio, wanna tell them what you just told me?" Soifon froze and stared at the bloody face of the man. Her ex-boyfriend… He worked for a gangster, what kind of idiot beats up gangsters.

"I…" He choked and spat blood onto the floor

"HEY!" Kukaku snapped "Grimmy if you ain't gonna stop your pets making a mess don't bring em in"  
"Sorry" 'Grimmy' said "now say You're sorry" He made another gurgling choking noise. "What was that?" He said after punching him again. It gave Soifon a strange pleasure seeing her abusive ex getting beat up…but he had friends.

"Who is this man, Grimmjow?" Yoruichi said crossing her arms. A ginger boy came over and dropped a little basket of fries in front of them, stepping over the delirious looking Ggio. He scowled at Grimmjow who scowled back. They held the stare for a few seconds before he went back to the kitchen. Soifon wondered why he wasn't at school.

"Uh" Grimmjow said "He works for Baraggan, the prick and he was boasting that he knew the Organ Stealer, and now I'm strongly considering stealing his organs…say Yoruichi?"

"Yeah"

"You seem like a fun girl"

"I am"

"How about we play a game"

"Oh?"

"I hold up this guy and you land the hardest punch you can into his stomach and try to rip out his heart" He said "then I'll do the same if you fail"

"That sounds fun" Yoruichi smiled at the terrified looking Ggio, he didn't seem to recognise Soifon "Now stand in awe…I've done this before, there's a technique to it…watch, I'll get it in one shot"

"No" Ggio squeaked as Grimmjow put him into a full nelson.

"Watch this" Yoruichi said grinning

"No!" He said again struggling. Yoruichi made a show of cracking her knuckles.

"Yoruichi's Special One Shot Kill Punch!" She shouted and started to sprint toward him

"Okay, okay, okay, goddammit I'll tell you just keep the goddamn psycho bitch away from me" He said crying.

"Now" Yoruichi said ruffling his hair "Was that so hard?"

"He's a scientist" Ggio said "he's trying to build some Frankenstein motherfucker but that all I goddamn know, okay"

"You know" Kisuke said "this is starting to sound a lot like Mayuri's work"

"What, that creepy guy you used to work with?" Yoruichi said

"Yeah"

"Kisuke here used to work in a University, can you believe it?" Yoruichi said "He was one of the youngest Professors out there and at a mere seventeen he was the winner of two Nobel prizes, had a doctorate in Engineering and three patented inventions that all sold for over $100,000,000. That got my geek girl pulse racing…we used to screw like rabbits back in the day"

"Then I lost you to the Sappho" He said shaking his head

"You always had a way with words" Yoruichi smiled. Soifon stared at Kisuke, how could Yoruichi go for a guy like him he was so…dishevelled and what the hell did Sappho mean? Soifon wasn't sure she liked any of Yoruichi's friends…they all seemed like arseholes. She just wanted to be alone with her.

"Y'know" Grimmjow said "I could probably kill you and no one would care" He looked down at Ggio "now get out of my face"

"Okay" He said scurrying toward the door. He looked back one more time and did a double-take. He stared at Soifon for a good-and awkward- ten seconds. He then turned and left, holding his stomach.

"What was that about?" Yoruichi said to Soifon

"Ah" Soifon said "you know the boyfriend I lost my virginity to?"

"Yeah"

"That was him" Soifon said feeling slightly ashamed of her bad taste in men.

"That's not so bad" Yoruichi said "I lost my virginity to the king of nerds here"

"I wasn't that bad" Kisuke said

"You missed" Yoruichi said "on your first attempt you missed my vagina, it was embarrassing for _me_"

"I forgot about that" He said staring at her "I've had more practice now"

"Are you trying to rekindle an old flame?" Yoruichi stared back up at him, her golden eyes held absolutely no humour or sympathy, she looked slightly cross.

"No, no, no" Kisuke said "you've made the deduction yourself, my relationship status has changed. He glanced at Kukaku.

"So" Grimmjow cut in "what's our next step, do I get to torture more information?"

"Sure you do that" Yoruichi said "try and find out where the 'Mayuri' guy is"

"Excellent" Grimmjow said "now" he said walking away scratching his chin "who will I hit first?"

"He could be a useful asset" Yoruichi said to Soifon…but I wouldn't trust him, I don't like that tattoo on his back"

"What was it I never saw?"

"A number, a six that'd been crossed out" Yoruichi said "I've seen a number like that before"

"Where?"

"On the small of Nel Tu's back"

"That green haired cop?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "me and Nel used to be lovers and I saw it when we were in bed together" Yoruichi's eyes widened a little and she muttered "Damn it"

"What?

"Uh…nothing" Yoruichi said "Anyway she had a crossed out number three, it's the symbol of an Espada"

"Spanish for sword?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "Apparently the Espada are the epitome of the word dangerous, they work for a man called Aizen"

"Uh…" Soifon stared "Isn't Sosuke Aizen that guy who owns that arms company?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said matter-of-factly "He's an animal, even my father stayed out of his way"

"The crossed out number must mean he's a former member" Soifon said. This was quite interesting; to know this Grimmjow man was in the same league as Nel, who slept with…Yoruichi…? Wait what! Soifon stared at Yoruichi who sat drinking from a glass regally. She seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact. "Are you…a lesbian?"

"I am" Yoruichi made eye contact now…she stared right into Soifon's soul.

"Eh…" Soifon said "I was gonna kiss you, that's gross"

"Sorry" Yoruichi said "I didn't want to disappoint you"  
"But you're gay, practising kissing with me is like a straight girl practicing kissing with a boy"

"I've let a boy practice kissing with me before" Yoruichi said smirking and raising an eyebrow

"Don't even" Soifon found herself scowling again "I don't wanna hear another story where you basically tell me you were a slut"

"Oh dear" Yoruichi said "I've done it now haven't I?"

"Yes" Soifon said. This was another strange feeling, she'd felt this one too often, betrayal. Was Yoruichi only pretending to be interested in her wellbeing because else wanted to sleep with her? _Don't sell yourself short, eh, Soifon _she jadedly thought_ the beauty that's Yoruichi is interested in me, nope, forget it, I'm not even attractive_

"I'm a professional" Yoruichi said "I can take no for an answer, just…" She sighed "I'll never try to talk you into something you don't wanna do"

"Really?" Soifon said. She didn't believe her, all those warm smiles, she saw through them now, Yoruichi was nothing but a pervert…a very, very attractive pervert. _Damn it Soifon! Pull yourself together, just let it slip, she's your friend goddamn it!_ "Okay, yeah whatever, I don't even care"

"Good!" Yoruichi said smiling.

They finished their chips and Yoruichi got into another slagging match with Kukaku. After they were done Kukaku left a massive man by the name of Kenpachi in charge of the bar. They all walked toward Yoruichi's beautiful car. "So" Kukaku nudged Soifon as Yoruichi walked on ahead "she's finally dropped the bomb, huh?"

"What the lesbian thing?"  
"Yeah" Kukaku smirked "when she told me she was gay I laughed in her face, I thought it was a joke…then she stuck the lips on me"

"What happened then?"

"I pushed her off and punched her in the face" Kukaku looked at Soifon "I ain't a homo"

"Didn't it ruin your friendship?"  
"What? Knowing that my best friend fancied me?"

"Yeah"  
"No not really" Kukaku said "I knew Yoruichi was a mature woman, she knew I wasn't interested so she dropped it and went looking for someone else"

"So then what?"

"I dunno, she had a string of volatile relationships with some proper crazy bitches and a streak of seventy one-night-stands, all with different people, before finally settling with Nel"

"Who is Nel?"

"Nel was…" Kukaku thought for a second "Nel had a crush on Yoruichi since we were at school; she was always following her around with those big eyes and that stupid scar. We were a big gang, Me, Yoruichi, Nel, My big brother Kaien, Yoruichi's Brother Ryo and some poor kid called Shaozu"

"I hear him mentioned quite a lot, I wonder who he is" Soifon said sarcastically. Kukaku looked at her

"He must be a relation of yours, that punchable face…that snippy sarcasm and unyielding desire to serve a Shihouin"

"Perhaps he is" Soifon said

"Get in the car and stop blabbing goddammit" Yoruichi said

Kukaku looked at Soifon and Laughed. "What a chick" She said. They both got into the car and drove off. Soifon wondered what Yoruichi's father would be like and cynically she wondered if there were any more disturbing secrets to be found out…

***Change***

"Hello is there anybody in there?" Bambietta sang as she sliced a cat's leg off with a garden spade. Candice tried her best not to show the revulsion she was feeling "just not if you can hear me, is there any one home?" The cat made horrible noises as it tried futilely to escape; after all, escape was impossible with three legs cut off and a pipe bomb attached to the other. Candice wondered where Bambietta got the knowledge to make a pipe bomb "wook at the wittle kitty" She said kicking it.

"Are you sure it's a good idea kicking a cat with a bomb on it?" Said Giselle

"Shut up" Bambietta said "I made this beauty myself, I can't wait for it to go off…I'm gonna masturbate so hard to this tonight"

Candice was pretty much on the verge of running away. She'd thrown her chips in with Bambietta, she'd thought being in the rich chicks little Clique would be cool but she wasn't just a little psychotic…SHE WAS A FUCKING MANIAC!

"Come on now, I hear you're feeling down, I can ease your pain…get you on your feet again" She twirled the spade in her hands. She was singing Pink Floyd…this was only gonna get more fucked up. It was horrible, being trapped by Bambietta, Candice couldn't just leave her now, she'd crossed the bridge, she'd made the bed and now she had to freekin lie in it.

"I HAVE BECOME…COMFORTABLY NUMB!" She shouted doing a spin.

"This would be good if you were actually a good singer" Liltotto said "but you're fucking shit"

"Bitch I'll make you suck off that cat"

"That cats female" She replied

"Exactly" Bambietta said "And you know what I do to dykes" Bambietta made a gesture with her spade. Oh yeah…. Candice was gay. She would never admit it in a thousand years; she wanted women, all the women! She wanted to drown in pussy and never return. That'd never happen whist Bambietta was still alive, Hell hath no fury like a Bambietta scorned. Bambietta sighed and brought the spade down cleaving the cat in half at the waist. The poor black moggy even survived this. "It's will to survive is incredible" Bambietta said holding a piece of intestinal tract with the spade, the more the cat tried to get away the more organs it pulled out. Candice felt sick, this was by far the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen Bambietta do…this month. "This cat reminds me of that Arab bitch who hurt me the other day, Oh god I wanna do this to her"

"You're a psycho" Giselle said "you know that right?"

"Oh yeah" Bambietta said grinning with complete madness "And I fuckin LOVE IT!"

She started to walk and her clique followed. After she was a few metres away she pressed the button on her trigger device. The cat exploded sending chunks of meat everywhere. She looked at Meninas who stood recording with a camera phone "You got all that?"

"Yep"

"Good send it to me" She said "I'm already wet"

Candice merely looked up at the sky and thought. Please god, have mercy on my soul.

***Change***

The Organ stealer watched from his car. The little clique of girls walked away from the cat they just killed. He liked that Bambietta girl…hmmmmm. She would be so delicious. Just look at those breasts, she wanted it, he could just tell, he wanted him to fornicate with her whilst tearing her guts out. Now… that blonde…those legs…they'd fit nicely on his new girlfriend. He ticked 'Legs' on his checklist and wrote 'Bambietta's blonde friend' next to it. He scanned his list. Only one other was ticked…'Face', next to it was written 'Yoruichi Shihouin'

**End of Chapter…uh Four? I think**

**Sorry if you're weirded out by the necrophila of the Organ stealer but I'm trying to build character, Stories are boring if every character is the same. Don't worry about any actual Necrophilia in the story; you have my word I won't write any in… You should be able to guess who the Organ stealer is, especially with a choice word I threw in. Next chapter will be on *mumble*day **


	5. Chapter 5: Fractal

**I was wondering if anyone got my pun/joke in chapter four about Soifon's dream… if you didn't…just type 'Soifon's princess charming' into YouTube it's the first one. Anyway now for the story, also I do take into consideration suggestions of improvement so feel free to criticize…but don't go too far or I'll mock you in this story.**

[Story]

Soifon gazed at the massive manor as they drove up the pink brick driveway. It was huge! How much money did he make from conning people? "If I was even a tad more materialistic I would go gold-digger on your pops straight away" Kukaku said.

"That's distressing" Yoruichi said. Yoruichi parked her car and stepped out. Soifon waited for her to pull the driver's seat forward. God! It was an awkward car to exit. She fumbled out of the car and caught her foot in something. With a yell she fell forward…right into Yoruichi's cleavage. Yoruichi stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "That was an accident" Soifon said

"I saw" Yoruichi replied smiling

"Just fuck already" Kukaku said

"Shut up" Soifon snapped now it was Kukaku's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"C'mon" Yoruichi said "I haven't seen my dad in ages!"

"Neither have I" Kukaku said "I'm gonna do it, by the way"

"Oh please don't" Yoruichi said

"I'm gonna" Kukaku grinned. Yoruichi pulled a cord and a bell rang. After a few seconds the heavy oak door opened to reveal a messy haired blonde, she stared at Yoruichi with sea green eyes. "Who the fuck are you!" Kukaku and Yoruichi said in impressive unison.

"I'm the maid I work for Ryuu Shihouin" She said crossing her arms, "now, Who the fuck are you?"

"Harribel!" someone shouted "its Yoruichi"

"Oh" she said looking Yoruichi up and down. She tutted and scowled.

"I might kill her" Kukaku said to Yoruichi

"Not if I do it first" Yoruichi said

"I'd like to see you try" Harribel said

"Play nice" said a man appearing beside her. Was he Yoruichi's dad? He was…tiny! He was about an inch smaller than Soifon. His hair hung messily around his head and was golden. "Go do something!" He snapped at Harribel. She disappeared through the door.

"Mr Shihouin!" Kukaku whooped grabbing him and embracing him in a tight, chesty hug. His face was pressed against her bosoms. "It's been so long!" She jumped up and down rubbing them in his face. After a second she let go.

"Unbelievable" He said shaking his head and walking back in the house "absolutely unbelievable"

"What are we having for lunch?" Yoruichi asked walking in. Soifon followed. Ryuu waited to close the door. He stared at Soifon; she made eye contact and froze. Whoa!

His eyes were completely unique. They were sky blue but it looked as if; when he was being created by god he'd originally designed his eyes to be magenta but decided against it and shattered the magenta but did so too late. His icy blue irises were full of pink/purple flecks. How did someone get eyes like that? "They stare" Yoruichi said to Kukaku "the first time they always stare"

"Hey" Ryuu snapped at his daughter breaking eye contact and releasing her from his kaleidoscope eyes "these eyes have been the sole reason I've overcame some powerful opponents." He glanced back at Soifon "I hope you didn't buy her from some shady guy in Vietnam or something"

"She's my new Apprentice" Yoruichi said "I thought I'd bring her along since…some crazy shit went down yesterday after we spoke"

"So you're Soifon?"

"How did you know her name?" Yoruichi asked "I never said"

Ryuu laughed "When I'm on the computer I just sometimes lose myself and keep clicking on links and before I knew it I'd hacked the Department of Youth Crime and looked up her profile, your dad is Longwei Feng, a dangerous man back in his heyday judging by the reason he was kicked from the SAS, not doing so good these days"  
"He killed himself" Soifon said

"Did he now?" Ryuu smiled kindly at her "are you completely sure?"

"Uh…" Soifon remembered the police coming to her door and saying they'd found her father dead after jumping off a building "well I haven't seen his body but the police said it was him"

"I hope you went to his funeral" Ryuu said

"I did"

"Good" Ryuu said "even if I hated Yoruichi I'd still want her to come to my funeral"

"God I'm hungry" Kukaku said

"Nice of you to come along, Shiba" Ryuu said "they haven't sagged a millimetre in all these years"  
Kukaku grinned and said "You sure don't mince your words"

"Now" Ryuu said "I have thought about what we're having for lunch and through much consideration I thought of going for a national dish for Soifon"

"What?" Yoruichi said "noodles?"

"Nope" Ryuu grinned "Full English!"

"Oh right" Yoruichi laughed. She stopped and looked around "what's the deal with the maid?"

"My last one was trying to steal stuff so I fired her, this one…she was very qualified…too qualified"

"She moved like a merc or ex-soldier"

"She one of those" He leaned closer to them "Espada"

"How do you know?" Kukaku said

"I can read people minds" Ryuu said

"No can't" Kukaku said

"He can" Yoruichi said "his ability to completely understand how a humans mind works means he knows what people are thinking just by looking into their eyes, his eyes makes it easier since their so striking, people let their guard down"

"That's freaky!" Kukaku said "You should join a circus"

"Meh" Ryuu said. Soifon noticed he seemed to speak with a slight accent, she could quite place it. He looked at Soifon, despite being smaller than her he seemed to look down on her "I came from Egypt" he said "I came to America as a child but I was…different, I could _see _more than normal people could, I had photographic memory, perfect analytical skills, an IQ of 250 at twelve. I met Yoruichi's mother when I was fifteen, she was the same age as me, we became lovers and I became the god of using my brain to screw people over"

"He believes extortion by force is cheap" Yoruichi explained "but that doesn't mean he can't get his hands dirty, it's likely even in his age he can kill every one of the Espada with a blindfold on"

"Well I do know how to use echolocation"

Soifon had to admit she didn't blame Bambietta for fearing this man. In fact the skull crushing image she'd originally built was less intimidating than this man was, the worst thing was the way he moved, he was silent and predatorial, and he knew exactly how powerful he was. He smiled at Soifon, "Yoruichi's mother was small like you" He chuckled sadly "we…" he merely sighed again. His eyes reflected a sadness that nearly shattered Soifon's heart, she just wanted to hug him and tell him it was alright. Yoruichi looked down at her hands, she seemed strangely frail. "C'mon let's eat" Kukaku said patting Ryuu on the shoulder. They walked into the dining room. Harribel busied herself with making the table.

"Did you know" Ryuu said "That Sosuke Aizen is running for Governor of Rukon?"

"No" Yoruichi said. Soifon glanced at Harribel who was trying to not make a show of eavesdropping.

"He's ahead in the polls too"

"Why does a gun company owner want to be a Governor?"

"Beats me" Ryuu said "the little faggot is a coward, stabbing backs and sucking dick, he'd make a good governor." He gave Yoruichi a sideways smile; he must've just been saying that to get under Harribel's skin. It worked. There was a shatter as Harribel crushed a glass cup in her hand.

"Oh dear!" Yoruichi said with fake shock

"Now look what you've done" Ryuu said "You're getting blood on my tablecloth!"

"I'm sorry" She said covering her hand with a napkin. "I injured my hand a while ago and sometimes the muscle just spasms"

"It sucks when that happens" Kukaku said rolling her eyes at Soifon. Soifon tried not to laugh. Harribel stalked off clutching her hand. Soifon stared at her lunch, her stomach gurgled.

"Without further ado" Yoruichi said "I must feed"

"Amen" Kukaku said

"May the Asha guide you through your feasts" Ryuu said

"Is that Muslim?"

"Do I look like a Muslim to you Kukaku?"

"No…"

"Well then" Ryuu said "I'm Zoroastrian"

"What's that?" Kukaku said

"Technically Zoroastrianism is the oldest religion that worshiped a single god; most Zoroastrians were killed off by the Muslims on a crusade" Yoruichi explained "there are few practicing these days, you don't have to do much, despite being the oldest it was also very lenient"

"Did you know Freddie Mercury was a Zoroastrian?"

"No…no I didn't" Kukaku said obviously bored "wait wasn't he gay?"

"_Very_ lenient" Yoruichi said "it's more like Hinduism and Buddhism, focusing more on peace and enlightenment rather than fear of going to hell for your sins"

"Okay" Kukaku said stabbing a sausage. Soifon looked down at her plate, she wondered how Americans cooked her national dish; a plethora of fried egg, baked beans, black pudding, sausage and he'd even got potato scones!

"I like this black stuff" Kukaku said "what is it?"  
"Dunno" Ryuu said

"Black pudding" Soifon said. She gave Kukaku a demonic look "its fried pig's blood"

"…what?" Kukaku stared at her. Yoruichi prodded it to the side of her plate and Ryuu laughed and took a bit out of it. "These are edible?" She prodded the potato scone

"Yes" Soifon scowled "they're just mashed potato, flour and salt"

"You English are barbarians" Kukaku said

"Just wait 'till someone cracks out Jellied Eels" Soifon muttered

"So how's the case going?" Ryuu asked

"Our strongman has found out it's a scientist, Kisuke thinks it's Mayuri"

"Kurotsuchi?"

"I think that's what he said his name is"

"Hmm" Ryuu said "go to this man" he wrote an address on a napkin "He'll find Kurotsuchi for you"

"Okay"  
"How is Kisuke the bastard?" Ryuu said

"Oh, you don't like him?" Soifon said

"No" Ryuu said "A father finds particular distaste in a man who only saw his daughter as the safe bet"

"It wasn't like that" Yoruichi said

"I know people, Yoruichi"  
"You don't know him" Yoruichi replied "No one does"

"Well I hope he still knows that if he sets foot in the Tenshiheisōban if cut him in half" Ryuu said

"What's that?" Soifon asked

"Uhh" Ryuu looked at her "House of the Godly Gears, it's the old Shihouin base, I used to work from it when I was conman. Kisuke stole something from there, something that should have stayed buried…and he made it worse"

"He had the best intentions for it and you know it, Dad"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" Ryuu said "and I can assure you there is a special place in hell for what he's made"

"It's hidden now" Yoruichi said "you made sure no one would find it"

"Tsch" Kukaku tutted "I always lose my appetite when it's mentioned"

"I have no idea what's going on" Soifon said feeling slightly confused

"Well…Kisuke once decided he'd put his great mind to solving the energy crisis…"

"No" Ryuu cut in "the less people know the better, Sorry Soifon"

"Just …don't ask questions" Yoruichi said "just knowing its name insured nothing but pain and torture, you'll be hunted for the rest of your life if you say it to the wrong person"

"Where did you hide it anyway?" Kukaku asked

"In the belly of a great dragon that passed it to the person he loved most"

"Wait!" Yoruichi stared at Ryuu "No! You can't, I won't let you, take it back!"

"The deed has been done" Ryuu smiled sadly "the die is cast"

"But…"

"It'll be safe in their hands" Ryuu said "don't make a fuss, it'll make things worse"

There was a knock at the door. Soifon heard footsteps to the door. "Funny" Ryuu said "it sounded like she was just outside the door there"

"You don't think…" Kukaku looked at the door "If Aizen gets his hands on it…"

"He'll weaponise it" Ryuu said "Lunch time over, I have to speak to some gods about some dragons"

"Hans Basterbine is here for you" Harribel said

"Shit" Ryuu said "you didn't let him in did you?

"Good afternoon" A tall stern looking man said, beside him stood little Bambietta. Soifon scowled at her, she scowled back.

"Oh goddammit!" Ryuu said

"I didn't know you were riding the Orient Express" Bambietta said to Ryuu

"Hans…" Ryuu said testily "Does that little bitch like the taste of her own intestines cause I'm gonna feed them to her"

"Quiet Bambietta!" He snapped

"But Daddy!" She snapped huffily

"I know" he said "I'll buy you something"  
"I've dug a special hole in the woods for you, do you know that" Ryuu said "now what do you want"

"I am here to ask you if you want the designation 'T'"

"Wha…T-the stern…" He stared at Yoruichi who looked confused "it's…it's an honour!"  
" You'll take it"  
"Fuck no!" Ryuu said before bursting into laughter. "Who the hell do you think I am?"

"You don't have to be…"

"Get the hell out of my house you idiot" Ryuu said "what a joke"

"Very well" He said "Come now Bambietta, perhaps you know someone who can be 'T'"

"I know of a few"

"We've got a lot of spaces" They exited the room and Yoruichi stared at Ryuu

"What was that about?"

"The…Stern Ritter" Ryuu said still laughing "They are a secret society, like the Illuminati except they actually exist…."

"What do they do?" Soifon asked

"I don't know" Ryuu said "apparently they influence the world; just one of their members is supposedly able to cause enough trouble to destroy an entire country"

"Why would Bambietta's bitch friends be invited into it?" Yoruichi asked

"They also make careers" Ryuu said "mark my words, all of those girls will be multimillionaires within ten years"

"Why did they want you?"

"My reach is almost as far as Aizen's" Ryuu said "Right now on Rukon there are three very powerful sides, Aizen, Me and Hans"

"So if Hans absorbs you he'll be able to crush Aizen?"

"Sounds like that's his motive" Ryuu said "Soifon…"

"What?"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Uh…three"

"Pink?"

"What?"

"Syringe"

"What?"

"Blackboard?"

"Dad what do you think you're doing!"

"Carpet" He continued to stare into Soifon's eyes "Door?"

"I'm freaking out" Kukaku said

"I see" Ryuu said "goodbye" He stood up a shuffled out his room mumbling something about Dragons.

"It weirds me out when he does that" Yoruichi said "that was his mind reading by the way"

"He read my mind?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "I hated it when he did it; I could never keep a secret"

"Lunch was nice" Kukaku said "you've made a bit of headway in your case and I got to rub Ryuu's face in my tits"

"C'mon, Soifon"

"I feel dizzy" Soifon said.

"Come to my room" Yoruichi said "have a rest"

"Why your room?" Soifon said was Yoruichi already trying to bed her?

"I didn't mean it like that, Soifon" Yoruichi

"Look" Soifon snapped "I get it, you were lonely but stop always smothering me, and we barely know each other, man"

"I'm sorry"

"I'm going for a walk"

"Okay…will you do me a favour?"

"What is it now?"

"See the little path between those trees?" Yoruichi said pointing

"What about it?"

"Take that route, it goes in a circle"  
"Hey!" Kukaku said "that's _ours_, she doesn't deserve it"  
"Oh don't be so melodramatic" Yoruichi snapped

"What is it now?" Soifon snapped. This was getting annoying, why was everyone so damn cryptic!?

"Just walk the damn route you little bitch" Kukaku snapped

"Whatever" Soifon said walking out of the room. She walked past Ryuu who stared at a picture of a woman who looked strikingly like Yoruichi but had shorter hair and wonkier teeth. She kept going and walked out the door. She needed some air. Yoruichi's creepy dad had read her mind? What was he looking for? For some reason Soifon pulled out her keys and looked at them. She stared at the ornate key ring her father gave her.

It was a stunning blue gemstone inside a plastic case. It seemed to glow and move like the clouds in a light breeze. It was the only thing he'd ever gave her and now it was the only thing that reminded her of her father back when he was the nicest man in her life. She walked past the gardener; a huge man with a rather wolfish face and what looked like fur…growing from around his ears and neck. He glanced at her then the key ring and went back to his duties.

Soifon noticed the trail Yoruichi had mentioned and walked toward it, her curiosity bubbling slightly, she wondered why Kukaku was so insulted that Yoruichi had told Soifon to go there. "Oh well" She muttered "let's see what secrets she's got hidden down there"

Kukaku looked at Yoruichi who stared out of the window watching Soifon. "What the fuck are you doing, woman?"

"I've…" Yoruichi shook her head "damn it, this wasn't supposed to happen. I just can't get her out of my head"

"Its crap I know" Kukaku said "but these things happen, just give her space and she'll come round you're a nice woman"

"But she isn't a lesbian" Yoruichi said "she seems to think the idea is repulsive"  
"No she doesn't" Kukaku said "she likes you, she's just confused"

"Since when were you the expert in lesbians"

"Because you were exactly the same" Kukaku said "that's why you practically fucked Kisuke to the moon and back just to try and snuff out the desire for another woman"

"My life is quite crappy right now" Yoruichi said "I wonder if Ryo is having the same problems"

Ryo scratched his head as he watched Jersey Shore on TV with a can of beer in his hand…were these people acting… no one can physically be that stupid without being diagnosed as having learning difficulties. Shaozu walked through the door behind him a young man. "So?" Ryo said not removing his eyes from the TV

"Ninety percent" Shaozu said "all we need is the car"

"So Ggio" Ryo said "you made quite a blunder pissing off a man like Aizen"

"But that's what, uh, you guys are for"

"Yeah" Ryo said "You give us all of your earthly possessions and remaining money and we make you disappear"

"Well I have twenty grand saved from working for Baraggan" Ggio said

"I know" Ryo said "You're now Jared Wilson, nineteen years old, from Reykjavík, Iceland, grew up in America and have now moved to Ontario, Canada" He looked at the Passport he forged himself "your car is the white Ford outside, birth certificate is in the folder on the desk along with five grand spending money and key to your apartment"

"Is twenty Grand Enough?"

"Probably not" Ryo said "but I'm taking all of your possessions"

"Even my old car?"

"Yes"

"My TV?"

"Yes"

"But…"

"Do you want this deal or not?"

"Fine" Ggio said.

"Come on" Shaozu said

"I got a call from my father" Ryo said once Shaozu came back without the man.

"What's he saying to it?"

"Soifon"

"Who?"

"Shaolin, Shaozu, don't you remember your little sister?"

"Oh" Shaozu said "I wondered where she went"

"She works for Yoruichi" Ryo said

"Hmm" Shaozu mumbled then he chuckled "Yoruichi will keep her right"  
"If she doesn't screw her into an early grave" Ryo said "I'm talking sex not betrayal"

"I gathered" Shaozu said "but still…Shaolin has…"

"I know" Ryo said "We'll need to watch her, the Espada are closing in"

"Do you want me to get between them?"

"It'd be suicide" Ryo said "but yes, both of us will rise, we'll help Yoruichi and Soifon…from the shadows"

Nel looked at all the people who'd come to the Police Recruitment Day. Most of these people had no skill but there was one that'd piqued her curiosity, not to mention she had a set of legs on her. Nel walked up the young woman. "Hi there" She said. The girl turned and looked at Nel…then her breasts…then back up to her. People milled around talking to each other and collecting as much swag as possible, free pens and coasters always got the bitches wet!

"Hey" Said the blonde "I was just checking this out 'cause after I'm finished school I'll be a cop"

"Is that what you want to be?"

"Yeah" She said "I've always wanted to be a detective"

"What's your name?"

"Candice" She said

"Cute name" Nel said looking around. The girl's cheeks reddened a bit "My name is Neliel Tu Odelswanck but people who know me shorten my name to Nel or Nel Tu"

"So you're the detective that solved the Sokyuku Hill case?"

"Yep"

"Wow!" She said "I've always wanted to meet you" She shook Nel's hand and held it for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"Oh my" Nel said looking into the young girls eyes, they sparkled with admiration. Nel loved impressionable girls like this "How old are you Candice?"

"Eighteen"

"Do you want to accompany me to the bathroom?" Nel said. She stared at Nel; she didn't seem to believe she'd just propositioned her. "Come on, I might put in a good word for you"

"You don't have to blackmail me into fucking you" She leaned close "I'd fuck you any day"

Nel turned and led her by the hand toward the bathrooms. Candice followed eagerly, damn; it must be Nel's lucky day. She'd found a new assistant…now to see how well she eats pussy. Nel opened the bathroom door and waited for Candice to follow. She checked if anyone was in the cubicles…empty. She locked the main bathroom door and opened a cubicle. "After you" She said. Candice walked in her beautiful behind framed by those short shorts, Nel risked a grope that earned a chuckle from Candice, so soft.

Candice took hold of Nel's shirt and pulled her toward her. She didn't waste any time locking her lips with Nel's. Nel forced her tongue into her mouth. She pushed her so her back was against the cubicle wall and those lovely breasts were pressed up against hers. She moaned and sighed as Nel groped her body. Candice wasn't idle with her hands either, She quickly snaked them up Nel's shirt and fondled her breasts. Her lips were warm and soft, her tongue wrestled with Nel's inside her own mouth.

Nel undid the belt that kept Candice's short shorts on. "Holy crap, you're not wearing panties" Nel said

"Does it turn you on?" Candice said

"Oh yeah" Nel said sliding her hand into Candice's groin area. "My you're moist"

"Nothing like a woman with scars and missing teeth to get the bitches soppy wet"

Nel pulled her glistening fingers up a licked the delicious juice from them. It was so warm and tasty. Nel rammed her tongue back into Candice's mouth giving her a taste of her own womanhood. She moaned and her tongue probed for more. Nel broke off again. "If you want more…" She undid the button on her own shorts and let them fall. She threw the toilet seat down and put her shorts on the lid and sat on them. Candice grinned and kissed up her leg.

Her lips sent Goosebumps of pleasure up her leg making her moan. Candice finally made her way to her pubis. Using her teeth she pulled Nel's underwear off. The stimulation was getting too much, she was close to cumming already. Candice dived straight in her tongue ungraciously probed and penetrated inside her. She moved her hips and jerked occasionally with the sheer pleasure. She continued to French kiss her vagina. Nel had to physically put her knuckles in her mouth to stop screaming with pleasure. Her arms were wrapped around her supple thighs and she used all her strength to pull Nel closer into her. "Oh fuck" Nel moaned before the torrent finally came. The overload of godlike ecstasy flooded through her and into Candice's mouth. Candice let out a squeal of pure delight as she licked every bit of cum she could find up and swallowed it.

Nel pulled Candice up and made her straddle her. Nel kissed those dripping wet lips. Her own taste filling her mouth made her heart beat even faster. Nel picked Candice up and stood her. Nel got down to her knees and pulled her shorts down. Beautiful, absolutely stunning. She pushed Candice onto the seat now and she spread her legs wide.

Nel stayed on her knees and teased Candice a little merely kissing her labia Candice moaned and quivered. "Hey, I just met you" She said "and this is crazy but here's my pussy now eat it maybe"

"I'll pretend in never heard that" Nel said in-between teasing kisses. She finally stuck her tongue into her moistened womanhood. Candice let out another squeal. Nel lapped hungrily at her conquest. So delicious, so young but so willing. A rare find indeed. She was already close to releasing.

"Oh god" Candice moaned "here comes the thunder" Nel knew precisely what to do to make this even more pleasurable for this young woman. Putting her middle and index finger together she rammed both up her ass. "Ohhh" She screamed and then the thunder came.

The taste…oh the taste, Yoruichi was almost as good…almost. Nel hungrily licked up the woman's essence. This…was probably the best thing she could possibly be doing with her Thursday afternoon. Candice sat on the seat and panted. "Wow" She said "that was my first time" She let out another moan when Nel removed her fingers from the girls asshole. "Where did you learn that?"  
"I've been a lesbian for a while" Nel said "Pick up a lot of this stuff, and do you know what the best part is?"

"What?" Nell made a show of sticking her fingers in her mouth

"Ass tastes soooo good" She moaned. Candice chuckled.

"Well you can rim me any day you want"

"I might make you regret you said that" Nel said. Nel pulled her underwear on. "Err…you're kind of sitting on my shorts"

"Sorry" She jumped up and pulled her own shorts on "What's gonna happen now?"

"I don't know" Nel said "do you want to be my protégé, I pay well"

"Yeah" Candice said "I'd like to be underneath you"  
"Nice" Nel said raising an eyebrow…damn it. She thought as her head started to throb. "Sorry, Candice, I've got to go"

"Oh…" She said sounding quite disappointed "okay"

"Sorry" She said again walking quickly away. "I'll call you" Damn it not now! The child side can't come out until she was safely out of the public eye. She unlocked the bathroom and jogged to her car. Jumping in, she stuck a nursery rhyme CD into the Player. That should quench it for a few hours. Ever since she'd gotten that head wound she'd got chronic migraines but only recently she'd started to revert back into a child, mentally, it was bad for her public image so she usually hid herself away in her apartment until it was over, she made sure to stock up on cartoons, milkshake and toys. Her child side really liked Lego recently she'd have to buy more, she reminded herself. She started the car and drove off her mind drifting back and forth between how fun it'd be to be an astronaut and eating the young woman's delicious pussy. She made good time to her apartment and ran up the stairs, found her door and unlocked it. She looked left and right and stepped in. It was embarrassing, toys and general mass was everywhere. She stepped in and locked the door behind her. She quickly closed the curtains but on Barney the Dinosaur and lay down on the couch. Sleep came quickly and the 'child' emerged.

Grimmjow was enjoying himself. It was very rare he got requested to hit so many people. He might actually try and get a permanent job for that fellow feline. He understood her, nice woman…shame she was batting for the other team. He watched a man by the name of Akon, he apparently worked for Mayuri and thus…he was next to be punched into next week. Grimmjow had to admit; he thought it was someone else doing the killings…that poofy freak. This man…Akon seemed to be having trouble lifting a vat of fluid into his van. "Alright!" Grimmjow said "I think I'll go soft at first, make him think he can win" He nodded and jumped out of his car. He loved his car, a Jaguar. He sauntered over to the man still trying to haul the vat into his van. "Yo!" he said

"Uh hi" He replied

"Looks like you need a hand" Grimmjow said

"Sorry" Akon said

"What?" Grimmjow said then something pricked his neck.

"Ha ha" said a creepy shrill voice "you've been looking for me Mr Jaggerjack"

Grimmjow turned slowly; he could feel his muscles starting to fail him…damn it that was careless. "I guess you're Mayuri" Grimmjow said looking at the clown. He collapsed on the ground as his bodily controls finally gave out…it was probably a good thing he went to the bathroom before going out here…

"Very nice" Mayuri said to an obedient looking young woman "pick him up…I'd like to…I don't know but I'll think of something I could use you for" He cackled and walked off.

"Oh…god…dammit" He muttered before finally giving to sleep.

Bambietta watched Soifon walking away through the woods. Giselle stood beside her; she had waited in the car when her she and her dad were in Ryuu's house. "Hey Giselle?"

"Yeah Bambietta?"

"Have you talked to Soifon lately?"

"Uh haven't really talked to her but she looks pretty down"

"Looks pretty…" She laughed "down? Yeah well maybe we should cheer her up then?"

"What do you suppose we should do?"

"Well…does she like butter tarts?"

[End of Chapter Five]

**Phew *waves fan on myself* steamy scenes are steamy. I'd also like to believe that this is the first Yuri paring with Candice Catnip on FanFiction? I think…maybe…I don't know. Anyhoo, I am not a lesbian….or a girl so don't be too negative if my sex scene was a little…wrong. I was going to type something else but I've completely forgot what it is… Oh yeah! I haven't seen what Candice's Stern Ritter name means but I'm guessing T means thunder since her hear had kind of lightning bolts on it if you look closely in the manga but right now it's just a guess.**

** Also I've been throwing in references to other media left right and centre, feel free to guess at anything you think you've picked up…**


	6. Chapter 6: Aiviate

Soifon looked around as she was walking. The Hawaiian wildlife scuttled and rustled through the undergrowth. The path a well-trodden and quite narrow. The trees were tall and the canopy blocked out the sun. This path was quite tranquil, Soifon had to admit. Someone had spent a lot of time nailing little boards with cryptic drawings on them to trees. Soifon stared at one. It looked like a fish swimming through lava, another was a completely undecipherable mass of colour and shapes, and another was a Rorschach that looked like a wasp or hornet.

For some reason Soifon's delirium had faded and she felt peaceful. She contemplated wither or not this path was designed for this exact thing. Why would someone do that? Make a path for the sole reason of relieving depression, had it been Ryuu? In mourning for his wife? Or maybe Yoruichi to try to calm her loneliness? Eventually the path came to a clearing. It was a beautiful meadow that housed a river and a waterfall at the far end. Attractive violet flowers grew randomly through the grass that swayed slowly in the wind. Soifon felt a strange nostalgia. Kids played here… there was a ramshackle treehouse built in a smaller tree, there was a signpost that was neatly carved with the words: No entry; Landmines!

Soifon doubted there were landmines here, perhaps it was just to make people who'd found this place by accident flee. Soifon approached the treehouse. Despite looking ramshackle it was built by someone with skill. Looking up at it she sighed. "Let's see what's in here?" She climbed up the ladder and crawled through the hatch. She looked around. The treehouse was really quite big! It could easily hold ten kids here. Rugs and futons littered the floor and corners. Soifon found herself staring at a framed picture hanging on the wall. There were people here, all of them maybe eighteen. She instantly recognised Yoruichi and Kukaku, she had both her arms and she didn't wear that bandage on her head. She saw Nel; she grinned happily and cuddled into Yoruichi's side. She looked at three boys standing together. Shaozu, he stood to the right looking slightly awkward. A guy who looked surprisingly like Yoruichi had his arm wrapped around Shaozu and the other man, he looked a little like Kukaku and that ginger boy from the bar. Soifon guessed he was Kaien. Then she saw Kisuke and another man, he was tall and wore glasses.

Soifon smiled. They all looked so happy. Underneath the picture there was an inscription saying: No matter how many people try; no one can break the chain. We are Kindred! Why had Yoruichi told her to come here? Soifon continued to snoop around. She opened a chest… it was full of beer cans and porn…lots of porn magazines. No wonder Yoruichi was a lesbian spending all her time with five guys. Soifon flicked through one of the magazines…eww, how did that fit up there? She threw the magazine back and closed the chest. Soifon picked up a guitar labelled 'Kukaku's Guitar' they'd taken some time to place their arty touch on the guitar. It was coloured blue and red and was covered in mecha anime designs. Kukaku was missing her arm so she couldn't play it anymore. Soifon felt slightly sorry for her, this guitar had been well played.

She picked up another picture, it was Yoruichi wearing a provocative Persian style garb...she looked like a belly dancer. She held a trophy and had a massive grin on her face. Underneath was written: Second isn't defeat, it means there is only one person better than you! She picked up one beside it. Kukaku held a bigger trophy with: Number one only means your friends have something to aim for! Written beneath it. God these kids were douchebags! She opened a drawer; it was full of Polaroid pictures.

Soifon picked up a few of them. One was of Yoruichi and Shaozu playing tug of war with a wolf-like dog. The next was Nel and Yoruichi kissing each other, their fingers were loosely tangled together. Then it was Yoruichi's brother taking a swig of beer. After that it was Kukaku posing with a large firework, the next picture after was the night sky with a large firework explosion, like a star exploding, it was majestic, red, green and purple made a perfect flower in the sky. After that picture it was a picture of the dog, it was a grey furred wolf. Were people allowed to have wolves? Underneath was written: Whisper; lost but never forgotten 02/03/1987-06/02/2004. Soifon stared at the wolf, it made her quite sad, they seemed to love the wolf and it had died. Looking out the window Soifon saw a little wooden cross stabbed into the ground.

She climbed out of the treehouse and walked over to it. 'Whisper' was written on it. Now it really was quite saddening. Someone had placed a wreath of flowers around it, recently, within two or three days. "This was my childhood" Yoruichi said from behind her. Soifon jumped and turned around.

"I thought you said you we're lonely?"

"I was" Yoruichi said "my friends helped me through it"

"So why did you send me here?"

"You walked the Clear Path" Yoruichi said "it's specifically designed to make people relax and become open minded"  
"Consider me all ears" Soifon muttered

"Well I wanted to show you that I am your friend and I'll help you whenever you need it"

"What if I don't want it?"

"I didn't say wither or not you want help I just said I'd help you" Yoruichi said "I didn't want help from my friends, I wanted to walk a lonesome path but they persisted and occasionally forced me

"I came here almost every day since I was fourteen" Yoruichi said "Kukaku was the first person besides me to come here and she followed me. If she hadn't followed me I'd probably be dead right now. I went swimming in the river…it's deeper than you think, I lost my focus and took some water into my lungs, she rescued me."

"I'm not drowning, Yoruichi"

"Yes you are" Yoruichi said she held out her hand "do you want to take my hand or do you want me to jump into the water and drag you out?" She lowered her hand when Soifon didn't take it. "C'mon, there is one more thing I want to show you"

"It better be fast because I'm tired, I never got much sleep last night"

"Sure" Yoruichi said "does it hurt?"

"What?"  
"The fact the killer molested you?"  
"No not really" Soifon said "I suffered worse at the hands of Ggio, I can forget about it"

"Good…I suppose"

"I've got a question" Soifon said thinking about Kukaku

"What?"

"Kukaku lost her arm, right?"

"Firework went off too soon, blew it clean off"

"Didn't she play the guitar?"

Yoruichi stopped walking and stared at Soifon "you're a perceptive little detective" She grinned. She stopped and gave Soifon a serious look "don't talk about that to Kukaku unless she mentions it first"

"Was she good?"

"Oh yeah" Yoruichi said "she beat me in the Rukon Twin Schools talent show, I came second"

"What did you do?"

"I…" Yoruichi grinned at Soifon "I belly danced"

"Oh…"

"Kukaku was hailed as the next Jimi Hendrix and I'm not making an exaggeration, there were hundreds of people who tried to push her into show business. If she'd taken the offer she'd never have blown her arm off and she'd be richer than my father"

"But she didn't?"

"No" Yoruichi said "she wanted to stay young, she didn't want to grow up, she…wasn't going to leave her friends and now she'll never play again"

"Just how close are you guys?"

"We'd die for each other in a second" Yoruichi said "and that has been tested, I've risked my life countless times for them"

"I bet you guys got up to some capers" Soifon said imagining herself with a gang of awesome friends.

"Did we ever!" Yoruichi laughed "I'll tell you some someday"

"What was Shaozu like?"

"He was…a nice guy, he was quiet, even amongst friends, he liked to listen to us talk to each other" Yoruichi said "he was unyieldingly loyal god only knows the secrets the others have told him but I've let him know some of my darkest feelings"

"What happened to your mother?"

"She died" Yoruichi said "she was murdered"

"Um" Soifon said. Now what should she say? "That sucks…I guess"…nailed it!

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "we never found out who did it, I think my father knows but he won't tell me"

They started to walk down another path. "What's the deal with all of the porn in the treehouse?"

"My brother thought it'd be funny to buy me all the porn he could find when I came out of the closet"

"Was it a hard decision?"

"Hmm…" Yoruichi sighed "no…it wasn't as hard as I'd thought it'd be, my father knew…he probably knew before I did"

"What did he say?"

"He was happy I finally admitted it to myself" Yoruichi said "the only person who can judge you is you"

"My father used to say that" Soifon said

"It's not as big a social pariah as you'd think" Yoruichi said

"Being gay?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "Nel Tu is openly gay and she's just been promoted to detective"

"Are you expecting me to break down and finally admit I'm gay, 'cause I'm not and I won't"

"I didn't say you were, you're gonna have to start trusting me"

"Sorry" Soifon said "what is this thing you wanted to show me?"

"This" Yoruichi said pointing. The path opened out again into a long dirt runway. There was a little hanger that housed a propeller plane. "That is a Spitfire, it's mine"

"You…own a plane?" Soifon stared at her. Yoruichi grinned broadly.

"Yep" She said "and I can take you in with me since you're small enough to fit between me and the controls, it'll just be like riding a motorbike"

"Except it is a plane that was built in the forties" Soifon said

"Oh come on" Yoruichi said laughing "don't you trust British engineering?"

"Well…don't feel offended if I say I didn't think you looked particularly like a pilot"

"Well my skill is unquestionable" Yoruichi said "I've been able to fly this baby since I was sixteen"

They reached the hanger the plane sat in. It really was a magnificent piece of aviation history, this thing practically won World War Two for Britain and now Yoruichi was going to take her for a ride in one… Mr Hirako the History teacher would be so jealous!

"Just climb up those ladders there" Yoruichi said "I asked Komamura to fuel her up before I came here"  
"Who's that?"  
"The groundskeeper" Yoruichi said "a beast of a man with a heart of gold" Soifon clumsily climbed up the ladder and sat in the seat. It was a…unique experience. Her heart was already starting to thud with expectations of an adrenaline fuelled ride. "Scooch forward" Yoruichi said. Soifon leaned forward. Yoruichi jumped in behind her. Soifon felt her cheeks redden when she felt the softness of Yoruichi's groin on the small of her back. "I'm gonna have to strap you to me" Yoruichi said "not that it matters if we crash they'll probably find bits of us everywhere"

"Uh" Soifon said "you're a bit close"

"Sorry" Yoruichi said "I thought we'd have a bit more space, you're the regular fatty"

She put her hand on the controls. Her forearms resting on Soifon's lap. "This is comfy" Yoruichi said. She flicked a switch and tuned a key. The plane roared to life and Yoruichi slammed the door over them. The noise was shut out. "I know" Yoruichi said "Kisuke put special glass as the windows, it cuts out a lot of the noise" Yoruichi tightened the harness and Soifon felt Yoruichi's soft breasts push into her shoulders. "Here we go!" Yoruichi said. The plane started to move forward, she turned it and Soifon was greeted with the straight runway. "Are you nervous?"

"Is there a word that more describes nervous I can use?" Soifon said

"Don't worry" Yoruichi said "I can drive this plane with one hand, my feet are in the pedals they control throttle and reverse"

Yoruichi pushed a pedal forward and the plane moved forward, slowly at first it seemed to pick up speed quickly. She looked sideways out of the window, the trees were already a blur and then Yoruichi pulled the stick back. Soifon felt her stomach drop as the plane rose off the ground. "Love it!" Yoruichi squealed "it feels like your stomach is still on the ground doesn't it?"

"Y-yeah" Soifon said holding onto her harness. All she could see was the blue sky. Eventually Yoruichi levelled off and Soifon gasped as she saw the entire of Rukon. The beautiful mountain in the middle, an extinct volcano cryptically called The Soul Palace, the City to the far left of the Island; Seireitei and the city to the far right: Karakura. Only one road linked them, a massive ten lane freeway that cut the entire island in half with a dull grey line. The freeway went through the volcano. It was a truly spectacular route to drive down as they made the tunnel out of high resistance glass that showed all of the magma inside…it seemed slightly dangerous to Soifon but it was stunning to see, like a strange satanic aquarium.

The sea stretched on for miles. Soifon could see the rest of the Hawaiian Islands in the distance. It was truly magnificent. This was a perfect gift from Yoruichi. They both were completely free up here, there was no obstacle, there was no abusive brother, no Bambietta it was just her and Yoruichi. She couldn't stop grinning, this was the happiest she'd ever been. Now her life was looking up, surely all of her bad experiences were behind her, nothing bad could happen when Yoruichi was behind her.

***Change***

Kisuke Urahara walked toward his candy shop. Toshiro stood waiting. "I don't pay overtime so why do you come early?" Kisuke asked

"You know why" Toshiro said "there's nothing better to do in this city"

"Have you tried fly fishing?" Kisuke said and got a scowl from Toshiro in reply. He chuckled and unlocked the door and stepped in. "Now, what about Aizen?"

"What about him?" Toshiro said

"I think he's got an agenda" Kisuke said "I don't like it"

"That's not our problem" Toshiro said "I thought we delete and replace?"

"We do" Kisuke said. Kisuke's underground business was quite sinister. He would take cash payment from customers to hack into several government databases and replace, delete or modify data. If someone wanted their criminal record gone then he'd delete it. If someone wanted a warrant for their arrest gone, then consider it done! He catered for most of America and even took customers from the rest of the world. He'd roughly saved up…as of last week sixteen billion dollars. Being a master hacker he was capable of simply taking whatever he wanted from banks and countries without them even knowing he'd done it. Ryuu Shihouin may have been hailed as the best conman in the world but Kisuke now held that title, he'd accumulated over thirty times his wealth without even meeting with a single snobby businessman. His mind went back to his night with Kukaku. What a wonderful woman, he'd always had a crush on Kukaku; he even imagined it was her instead of Yoruichi he was screwing back in the old days. Like the moon the things he couldn't reach attracted him most, now he wanted Yoruichi again.

He wondered what Aizen was doing…that man was dangerous, Kisuke vowed never to try to steal from Aizen, especially after what happened to Ryuu when he tried to outsmart him. Credit where credit was due Ryuu did outsmart him but Aizen had contingency plans galore, Ryuu had merely underestimated Aizen's foresight and he paid the price. "We've got sixteen deletes to make" Toshiro said looking at an iPad, he prodded it a few times. "Nothing difficult, should be all done in two or three hours"

"Go ahead" Kisuke said "I'm gonna poke at Aizen…hopefully I can go without him noticing me"

"Why are you so obsessed with Aizen?" Toshiro asked

"I don't know" Kisuke replied "he's…I don't understand what he wants"

"I don't know why that's annoying you"  
"I like to know what people are after" Urahara looked at his phone, a missed call from Kukaku, he felt a strange longing to hear her voice "this move, I never saw it coming from Aizen, he hasn't shown a single ounce of interest in politics and now he's putting himself in a position where he can reach the Presidency"

"It seems a bit dodgy when you put it like that" Toshiro said

"I'll see what I can find" Kisuke said hitting dial on Kukaku's name. After three rings Kukaku picked up.

"What the fuck, Urahara" She said "why didn't you pick up?"

"Sorry I had earphones in" He said

"Put vibrate on" She said "anyway, do you know anything about the Stern Ritter?"

"Not really" Kisuke said "They invited me to join them but I've got other projects on"

"Like?"

"Now, now my princess I think it'd be better you didn't know"

"Hmm" Kukaku replied "By-the-way Ryuu is still pissed about the…"

"Not over the phone" Kisuke said

"Sorry" Kukaku said "why did you let him take it back?"

"Because I feared I couldn't hide it" Kisuke said "Ryuu knows more people than me, he'll know someone who can bury it and it'll never see the light of day again"  
"Does it…make you mad?"

"What?"

"The fact it could have singlehandedly powered every electronic device in the world for fifty thousand years?"

"No" Kisuke said "the power companies would have it destroyed and I'd be killed, you know what happened to Tesla"

"I thought you can't destroy it"

"No" Kisuke said "you can, you can destroy it at the cost of the entire solar system"

"Damn it Urahara why did you think that was a good idea?" Kukaku snapped

"I was young" He said "I thought I could make a difference"

"Well you've made a goddamn difference that's for sure" Kukaku said "gonna go, I've got stuff to do, freekin Yoruichi's fucked off with Soifon and she expects me to get home how?"

"Call a cab" Kisuke said

"Humph" Kisuke watched Toshiro type away on the computer "I'm gonna get Ryuu to pay for it"

"Isn't as if he can't afford it"

"Damn straight" Kukaku said "…one of the Espada are in his house"

"Which one?"

"Dunno"

"She a blonde"  
"Number three Tier Harribel" Kisuke said "she's ex-Spetsnaz, a dangerous woman"

"Nothing old Ryuu can't handle"  
"He can't handle Aizen…trust me" Kisuke said

"Perhaps" Kukaku said "I'm off buh-bye!"  
"Cheerio" He said and hung up…interesting events are occurring. Stern Ritter, Aizen and Ryuu. Three go in and only one can come out!

***Change***

Soifon kept staring out of the window; the sky really was an amazing colour of blue from this height. "It's stunning isn't it?" Yoruichi purred in her ear.

"Yeah!" Soifon said.

"You're stunning" Yoruichi said, her lips caressed her ear.

"What are you doing?" Soifon wondered. Yoruichi took one of her hands off of the controls and it slid up her t-shit. "Hey!" Soifon said. Yoruichi's hand cupped her breast "I thought you said you won't do…" She turned and Yoruichi stuck her lips right on Soifon's. Soifon found all of her revulsion drain away into the sea below. This was dangerous! Soifon blurrily thought as Yoruichi's soft lips caressed hers. Her hand snaked down into her trousers now. Two her fingers quickly found their way inside her.

Soifon moaned inside the kiss. She put her hand on top of Yoruichi's and pushed her fingers deeper. This was perfect Soifon thought, only Yoruichi could provide such stimulation with only two fingers. Everything went blurry and Soifon found she couldn't move.

Her eyes refocused. She was sitting in a stony prison cell at the top of the tallest tower of a castle. She was trapped. "Soifon!" Someone shouted. Soifon turned with a start. "I'm here to save you"

"Y-Yoruichi?"

Then the 'Prince' was right next to her. Yoruichi's beautiful face smiled down at her. She picked her up and then they were standing on the windowsill again. Soifon stared at the perfect face of her saviour…was it true? Had she really been pulled from the darkness?

"We're about to start our descent!" Yoruichi said in her ear. Soifon awoke with a jump "Did you fall asleep?"

"Uh…" Soifon blushed "Sort of" she noticed a slight wetness in her trousers. Oh no! She'd had a wet dream! And Yoruichi was sitting right next to her, oh god if she didn't feel it she'd surely smell it! Yoruichi laughed and they started to bank. Soifon prayed Yoruichi wouldn't notice it'd be so embarrassing. "You must've been having a nice dream; you moaned a few times, I thought you were enjoying the view"

"I-I-uh I don't remember it"

"Shame" Yoruichi said "I once had dream sex with Nicki Minaj"

"Uhh" Soifon looked back at her

"What?" Yoruichi said "ever since the dream, I don't care what people say, I'd fuck the shit out of her…I'd probably hate myself after but…uh…I probably should've kept that to myself"

"Remember that for future reference" Soifon said

"Sorry" Yoruichi said "I overshare far too often"

"I noticed"

"It's just… my life is goddamn AWESOME!" She said "I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to hear my life story"  
"You should write an autobiography"

"What will I call it" Yoruichi said as they started to descend

"Hot chocolate?"

"Isn't that a little racist?"

"How so?" Soifon asked "I didn't think it sounded hateful"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said "I get to play the race card sickeningly sparsely"

"Lucky you" Soifon said jadedly.

"There's the runway" Yoruichi said

She landed the plane expertly. Now Soifon had complete trust in Yoruichi's piloting skill. Did this woman's godlike knowledge have an extent? She was on a whole different level from regular people. Drifting slowly to a stop Yoruichi sighed. "That was fun"

"I have to go to the toilet" Soifon said

"There's one in the back of the hanger" Yoruichi said unbuckling the harness and opening the hatch. Soifon quickly scrambled out and ran to the toilet…

***Change***

Yoruichi looked at the wet patch on the seat. Did she need to pee that much. She wiped some of it with her finger and sniffed…oh dear. "That must've been one hell of a dream, Soifon" Yoruichi said. She resisted temptation to lick her finger and jumped out of the plane.

A man appeared from beside the hanger. He was accompanied by three other people. Yoruichi froze when she recognised his face. "Good afternoon, Miss Shihouin"  
"What are you doing here, Aizen?"

"Oh dear" He said "such…venom isn't complementing for a goddess such as yourself"  
"Answer the damn question" Yoruichi snapped

"Don't be so snippy with Aizen-sama" said a pale green eyed man

"Now, now" Aizen said "we're merely here to try to win your fathers support, with such a powerful man on-board I'd be in office in no time" he smiled at her. Yoruichi ground her teeth together.

"You make me sick" She said

"Hey!" another one said, a tall toothy man that had a tattoo of a five on his tongue

"If you lay one finger on her" said her father. Yoruichi looked as her father and Komamura stepped through the bushes. Her father held a pure white sword, still in its sheath. "I'll slice you in half"

"My, my" Aizen said "it seems I've awoken the Dragon of the East"

"Don't mock me" He said

"I merely was saying hello to your beautiful daughter" Aizen said "she is as beautiful as her mother, how is she these days I haven't seen her in a while" he continued to smirk arrogantly.

"Keep talking, let's find out what you're made of" He said pushing the blade of the sword out a little with his thumb.

"Oh dear" he said completely unfazed "your daughter truly is a magnificent woman, it'd be a shame if…something were to happen to her"

"You've been running your mouth for quite a while now" Her father said "think you've got what it takes well let's find out" He pulled the sword full out of its sheath.

"Come on" Aizen said turning his back and walking away "we've got a rally to be at"

"Why can't we kill them?" The tall man said

"Fool" Aizen said "because he'd kill you"

"He doesn't look that tough to me" He replied

"And that's why you got your ass kicked by Nel" Said a silver hared man. They all turned and walked away. Her father stared after them with an emotionless expression on his face.

"What now?" Yoruichi said to him.

"I don't know" He said "I need to think, we'll see how things pan out"

"Shall we talk to…him?" Komamura said

"Yes!" he exclaimed "good thinking, come now, let's go!"

They both disappeared back the way they came. Yoruichi shook her head, sometimes her father could be so weird. Soifon came back from the bathroom rubbing her hands. "So!" Soifon said "what'd I miss?"

[End of Chapter Six]

**You may be wondering why I haven't been writing the Organ Stealer into this much…well I didn't **_**forget**_** about him I merely…uh…misplaced the memory. Anyhoo it'll focus more on the actual case after this chapter, I merely needed to set something's up sow some seeds and develop Soifon and Yoruichi a little. Also I'd like to apologise if I get any facts wrong in the story, I do try to research these things but you know the internet it can be vague at the best of times.**


	7. Chapter 7: Captives

Soifon woke up with a start. Ever since she'd had that dream about Yoruichi she never once had the dream about the castle. She stared up at the ceiling; it'd been two days since her trip in the plane with Yoruichi. Yoruichi and Kukaku had to go 'somewhere' for two days and said Soifon can spend the other two days she had off relaxing, she tried to do this but it was difficult, embarrassingly that dream was the first wet dream she'd ever had and the person she'd had it about was sitting directly behind her at the time.

She looked at the clock. 7:21. Shower time! She'd have to go to school eventually. What she really wanted to do was help Yoruichi find the Organ Stealer but Yoruichi was away and she wasn't allowed to do any sleuthing on her own.

Soifon was a hygienic girl but she cared little about outward appearance so it only took her half an hour to get ready, shower, clean teeth, hair brushed and put her two rings into her hair and that was it. She didn't know where she got the idea to put them into her hair, it just seemed like a good idea at the time and she stuck with it. She usually wrapped the two braids in cloth but today she'd decided just to leave them as they were.

She was usually one of the first people to get up in the Kotowari centre, Ukitake was usually up before everyone and Toshiro after that then it was Soifon and Nanao and the others. Matsumoto, Renji and Shuhei usually being the last. Soifon bit into a piece of toast and watched Hiyori doing her homework. "Damn it" She said "why didn't anyone tell me we were supposed to do that assignment for Baldy Kuchiki today!"

"It was kind of obvious" Toshiro said "He said nearly seventy times"

"Shut up!" She snapped and continued scribbling away.

"Are you coming to school, Soifon?" Momo asked

"Yep" Soifon said "might as well"

"Bambietta knows by the way" Toshiro said

"What?"

"That the Organ Stealer molested you, she's been spreading it like crazy" Toshiro said. Soifon felt her blood run cold, oh god… people were going to look at her and judge her now. There was nothing worse than little whispers behind her back. Now she was going to be known as that victim who couldn't even stop herself being licked by a creepy serial killer.

"How did she learn?" Soifon asked, only Yoruichi and Kukaku knew… people could buy secrets from Kukaku. Would Kukaku seriously sell such personal information about her?

"I'd watch what you tell Kukaku Shiba" Ukitake said "she phoned me and told me that Bambietta paid for information about you…a lot"

"Nice to know she's got a hobby" Soifon muttered. She clenched her fists, one word…just one word Bambietta Basterbine and you're dead.

After breakfast Soifon willed at least a few morsels of self-confidence into her system and made the journey outside to wait for this bus. She felt apprehensive, like being blindfolded and someone holding a gun against your head, eventually they'll pull the trigger but it's the wait that makes it worse. Eventually the bus pulled up and Soifon stepped in. She felt everyone's eyes on her, they said nothing, they only stared.

Soifon looked for a seat trying not to make eye contact with anyone. She found an empty seat next to a blonde. She quickly walked to it and sat down. She glanced at the blonde, her blood ran cold again, damn it! She was one of Bambietta's cronies! She didn't seem to notice Soifon, she sat texting someone. Her head bobbed slightly with whatever music she happened to be listening to on her earphones.

This was gonna be awkward, Soifon thought as the bus made a left and the g-force made the blonde lean into her. For the first time she noticed Soifon, a small chuckle came from her and she pulled her earphones out. "Why have you come back?" She asked

"What do you mean?"

"If I'd learnt Bambietta had been spreading shit like that about me I'd be under a rock somewhere in France" she said.

"Just so you know" Soifon said. She really wasn't going to let Bambietta get the better of her "if that bitch talks to me…no even looks at me, I'll kill her and that is not an exaggeration"

"Scary" she said unconvincingly "then I'll give you a counter warning"

"Huh?"

"You may be willing to kill Bambietta but what makes you think Bambietta isn't willing to kill you?" She said. She looked at the people behind her and leaned closer "she's killed people before" She whispered "don't throw that punch unless you're completely willing to face the consequences"

"I'm not scared of her" Soifon said "or her gay little secret society"

The girl's eyes widened "how do you know about them?"  
"I was at Ryuu Shihouin's house when Hans Basterbine asked him to join them"

"What did he say?"

"Told them to go and fuck themselves"

"He's got balls" she replied "The Stern Ritter make people really question their morals"

"Are you a member?"

"…yes" She said "My name is Candice Catnip, Stern Ritter 'T', I'd tell you what it meant but I have no idea"

"The letters have meanings?"

"Yes, Bambietta is 'E' for Explode" Candice said

"You sound like you didn't want to join them" Soifon said

"I don't but Bambietta has…ways of making us do whatever she wants" Candice scratched a scar on her arm. "I can assure you that I am the only person in that group that isn't completely insane"

"Just how insane are we talking, here?"

"They filmed themselves killing a cat" Candice looked slightly green "there is a website…I won't tell you what it's called, Bambietta and the others do some freaky shit for it…they take requests. Rape, murder, paedophilia, they don't have any limit on what they'll do, I feel sick almost constantly these days"

"I…" Soifon wondered if she was telling the truth, this was slightly unrealistic "really?"

"Yes" Candice said "if you don't believe me…" she wrote something on a piece of paper "if you're going to go onto this website use a proxy server, it's flagged in the US"

Soifon looked at the piece of paper, was this…Greek? "My login is C1A1N1D1I1C1E" Candice said "Password is 'This Website Sucks', capitals at the beginning of every word"

"Uh…yeah" Soifon said. Did Candice seriously expect Soifon to look at this site…her mind bubbled with insatiable curiosity, she scolded herself, they were supposed to be killing real people on this website and she actually _wanted _to see this, was that normal? This probably had a name for it but Soifon didn't know what it was called.

Strangely enough Bambietta wasn't at School today and the day went abnormally smoothly, there were some snide remarks and whispers but Soifon got the feeling people were already sick of hearing about it. Bambietta must've really raved about it. At lunch Soifon found herself staring at a 'Missing' Poster, a young guy who'd went to this school. Candice had appeared beside her and said that was Bambietta's ex-boyfriend…she apparently cut him in-half. Soifon laughed and walked away, this was utter bullshit. After lunch it was English with 'Baldy Kuchiki' as Hiyori called him despite his full head of sleek black hair.

Soifon continued her story that she was writing. Soifon decided she was going to make her story an adventure, her hero; a quiet and stealthy assassin was currently having a flashback about learning techniques from a beautiful and carefree sensei. The story was set to be very, very gay so she'd switched her hero's gender before she'd started. Now it was a young guy in love rather than a young girl. She'd never have heard the end of it if she'd wrote a Yuri in school, she'd already got enough on her plate she didn't need anyone thinking she was a lesbian.

Half way through the lesson there was knock at the door. Mr Kuchiki walked to the door and opened it. Soifon felt her eyes almost bulge out of her skull when she saw Yoruichi standing there smiling stupidly. She held a brown envelope in her hand and she said something to Mr Kuchiki. He said something back and walked back to his desk and sat down and scowled at Soifon.

Yoruichi walked into the classroom and earned stares from all of the boys. She just _had_ to wear those skin tight trousers again. She walked up to Soifon's desk and put the envelope down. "I forgot to give you this before I left, now that it's Friday…payday!" She grinned

"Uh…isn't there a cake week?"

"A what?"

"A weeks lie time" Soifon said "it's a pun…the cake is a lie"

"Oh…" Yoruichi stared blankly at her "anyway, you never said Byakushi was your English teacher" a few of the pupils snickered. Soifon found even herself starting to laugh.

"You aren't even supposed to be here, Shihouin" Mr Kuchiki snapped keeping his suave demeanour "I must ask you to leave"

"I just needed to hand Soifon her payslip" Yoruichi said "come to work on Saturday if you want, we'll speak to this guy" Yoruichi said

"Yeah" Soifon said ripping the envelope open. She sated dumbly at the amount of money "uh…is this a typo…surely you mean $150"

"Being a PI is a high paid job" Yoruichi said "$1500 is quite low for a week's work" There were a few more whispers through the classroom. Yoruichi laughed "Mr Kuchiki how are you these days, how's the grand-pops?"

"He's enjoying retirement" Mr Kuchiki replied

"I'm away" Yoruichi's golden eyes rested on Soifon "I need to find Grimmjow, I haven't seen him in a while….bye-bye, Byakushi"

Yoruichi turned and swanned out of the room leaving a few drooling boys and jealous girls. Mr Kuchiki scowled after her and then went back to writing whatever it was he writing before Yoruichi came into the class room. Soifon took one last look at the payslip and then stuffed it into her schoolbag. She'd have to go to the bank later, there was some stuff she wanted; an iPod, some decorations for her room and some kind of hand held gaming platform like a Nintendo DS, it was quite boring sitting in her room alone with nothing to do.

After Yoruichi's intrusion the rest of the day went much as it had done in the beginning…boring and awkward. When the bell rang Soifon quickly searched out Toshiro. "Hey!" She said making him pull out his headphones

"What is it?" He said looking bored

"Have you ever heard of this website?" Soifon showed him the piece of paper. He took it and stared at it.

"Apaisios means horrid in Greek so I'm guessing it's one of those creepy paedo websites"

"Apparently Bambietta is one of their…contributors" Soifon said

"Really" Toshiro smiled slightly "if we see her face we can crush her, if she keeps attacking us we'll just show all of the teachers and PTA members the vids and the Basterbine family will fall"

"Don't jump the gun, mate" Soifon said "we still have to find out if Candice was telling the truth"

"Candice?" Toshiro said "that leggy blonde always following Bambietta around?"

"Yeah" Soifon said "she…I don't know why she gave me the website"

"Hmm" Toshiro said

"She also said we have to use something called a proxy server"

"It makes sense that something like this'll be flagged" Toshiro said. They stepped into the bus and found two adjoining seats.

"What is a proxy server?"

"It's like a…um…like a middle man" Toshiro said "if I wanted to give a kilo of cocaine to someone without them knowing who I am I give the coke to someone I trust and then they give the coke to the person. The server is usually located in a country where the website is not blocked and you connect to the server which then puts you though into the site without the feds or whatever seeing it"

Soifon chuckled. Bambietta certainly was in for a swelter when she comes back to school, see how she likes it people spreading rumours about her when she isn't there to defend herself. Soifon hoped Candice wasn't in any of these videos, she really didn't deserve to have her reputation ruined or maybe she did, it depends what Soifon finds on this website…

***Change***

Yoruichi put her hands in her pockets and walked into The Roman Candle. Kukaku stood behind the bar as per usual. "Dafuq!?" Yoruichi said

"Huh?"

"Why did you sell information to Bambietta about Soifon?"

"Dunno" Kukaku shrugged "a hundred grand is a lot of money and I don't like Soifon"

"She paid…a hundred grand?"

"Jesus Christ!" Yoruichi said. She jumped up on a stool beside Kenpachi who was stacking dominoes; Yachiru drank Orange juice beside him.

"Jiggles!" She said to Yoruichi

"If you call me jiggles what do you call Kukaku?"

"Super Jiggles" Yachiru exclaimed. Kukaku raised an eyebrow. She took another draw from a cigarette.

"I thought you said you were quitting?" Yoruichi said

"I…need…nicotine!" Kukaku said ravenously. She took several quick draws. "ohhh almost as good as sex. So what can I get you?"

"Gimmie a soda" Yoruichi said "I'm driving"  
"Never stopped you downing that cero the other day there"

"I needed it then" Yoruichi said smiling "Gimmie some info about Grimmjow"

"Mayuri's captured him" Kukaku said "he got taken on Wednesday"

"I see" Yoruichi said "how did he get kidnapped?"

"Syringe" Kukaku said

"I was under the impression that's how Soifon got kidnapped by the Organ Stealer, she's got fight in her, she'd never let some guy steal her without tearing a few appendages off"

"Quite" Kukaku said "Soifon is at Kisuke's house"

"What's she doing there?" Yoruichi looked at her watch, 5:45. "Oh school finished"  
"They've found out something about good old Bambietta" Kukaku scowled "something even I didn't know"

"What?"

"Apparently she's the little Pornstar"

"Oh"

"Proper bizzaro stuff too, scat, kids, the whole nine yards" Kukaku said. She took another draw of her cigarette.

"How did she find this out?"

"One of Bambietta's little clique isn't very happy with her buddies new past time" Kukaku said "Soifon completely distrusts me now, she won't say who it is"

"How much did you give Soifon for that info, it must be worth ten grand at least"

"I gave her nine and a half" Kukaku said

"Meh" Yoruichi said. An effeminate pink haired man appeared beside Yoruichi.

"Hi there" he said to Kukaku "I hear you…sell information"

"I do"

"Well" He looked at Yoruichi and then back to Kukaku "I need a chemical called cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine"

"Now what would you want that for?" Kukaku said leaning on the counter. "And you could just call it RDX"

"I thought I was the one paying for the info" He said

"I don't see any phat racks" Kukaku said

"Very well" He said chuckling madly. His voice made Yoruichi want to hit his face. He pulled out a wad of cash

"This news is worth three k" Kukaku said blowing smoke at him. Her eyes bored into him a slight tinge of humour softened her gaze. He sorted the right amount and threw it on the counter between them. Kukaku quickly scooped up the money. "There are four people who can openly get you this stuff, and only one with it actually in their premises"

"Who's that?"

"He's called Kurotsuchi" Kukaku said. Yoruichi stared at Kukaku, was she going to send this guy after Kurotsuchi too?

"Were does he hang out?"

"If I knew that the info you just asked for would be well over ten grand" Kukaku said "Kurotsuchi is a hot topic these days"

"Who are the people who can get it?"

"Kisuke Urahara, Ryuu Shihouin and Gin Ichimaru" Kukaku said "I'd watch Gin though, he gets all explosive chemicals from his employer…Sosuke Aizen"

"I know who Ichimaru is" He replied "I can't go there"

"Why not?"

"I just can't"

"I'll be willing to buy that answer off of you" Kukaku said

"Get lost" He said. He turned and walked out of the bar.

"I hate metro dudes like him" Kenpachi said "take gays like Yoruichi, she's subtle this guy…tsch"

"Nice to know you hold me in such high regard" Yoruichi smiled up at him.

"I still want to fight you" he said

"Another time big guy" She said

"Damn" He replied

"Here's your list" Kukaku said to Kenpachi

"Come on, Yachiru" He said "time to go haywire" He picked up the piece of paper that listed all the people who'd opened up an info tab with Kukaku and stopped paying. Yoruichi had a tab open but she'd never missed a payment yet, even though she was usually losing one to two million dollars on Kukaku a year. She was really meaning to cut down on her relying on Kukaku too much.

Yoruichi finished her soda and bid farewell to Kukaku and walked toward her car. "Yoruichi!" someone shouted. Yoruichi looked back at the person. Nel waved at her. Yoruichi stopped and waved back. She waited for Nel to catch up; she jogged up her, those ridiculous beasts jiggling in her shirt. Even when it got dark on this island it was never cold.

"What's up?" Yoruichi said

"I was wondering why you never reported Soifon's…problem to us"

"I was frightened you'd taken her off the programme" Yoruichi said

"I don't mind too much though" Nel said "I got a new girlfriend"

"Oh good for you" Yoruichi said

"Her name is Candice; she's very young but…so wild!"

"Um…I don't care" Yoruichi said. "Anyway, what do you know about a dude called Kurotsuchi?"

"Not much why?"

"He's apparently the Organ Stealer or at least knows who it is"

"I do know he's fond of doing a few…experiments on people and that he usually goes looking for whores and druggies in the Ochita District"

"Why are you not arresting him?"

"He's good…" Nel said "he's very good. He loses our squaddies every time; we've tried everything, choppers, stings, satellite even dogs"

"How peculiar" Yoruichi said "does he like the taste of honey?"

"Nice thinking but we can't get approval for a honey trap"

"Whatever" Yoruichi said an idea pinging into her head. She bid farewell to Nel who gave her a nostalgic kiss on the cheek. Yoruichi remembered the times when she used to be madly in love with Nel, her heart used to hurt every time she saw her, butterflies always were in her stomach. Those were the days…it was a shame about her alter ego. She hoped this Candice wasn't weirded out by the idea of a grown woman acting like a child…

***Change***

Three hours later it was ten o'clock. Akon and Rin cruised through the neglected streets of the Kusajishi, the second most derelict area in the Ochita District. Kurotsuchi had told them to get their hands on someone of African or Middle-Eastern Descent for their next experiment. It hadn't taken long to find a scantily clad hooker. She stood of medium height, she was quite healthy looking for a prostitute but she seemed to have what looked like acne and had scars on her stomach. "She'll do" Akon said. He pulled up beside her and rolled down the window. She bent over and looked in the window.

"How can I help you boys?" She said. Her murky blue eyes stared at them.

"How about we go for a ride?" Akon said it was a line he'd said more than fifty times. She chuckled seductively.

"It'll be a hundred bucks, a hundred and fifty if you want it weird"

"Hop in back" He said. The woman smiled again and walked around back. He rolled his eyes at Rin, "a hundred bucks, who does she think she is?" he muttered. She opened the doors and hopped in. "Close the doors" He said

"Okay" She said turning back around; she leant and closed the doors allowing her tiny skirt to ride up showing her ass. That was nice, maybe she'd be worth a hundred bucks with a body like that. Rin pulled out his dart gun and fired a dart right into her left cheek. She groaned and hit the floor of the van.

"Your aim's getting better" He said

"I thought so" Rin replied "c'mon, we haven't got all night, mind you it wasn't hard to miss"

"I know" Akon said "I haven't seen an ass like that in all my time in the Kusahishi, she's gotta be new…"

***Change***

Grimmjow sighed and paced about his cell. He wasn't sure where he was; it felt like a warehouse or an old factory. There was a smell of general labour around, like oil and chemicals. There were seven cells in this dark and dank room and he was the only person left. When he was taken here there were six people but they were all gone now, they just game and collected them. Damn it! Grimmjow thought, this was ridiculous, there was no way out of this one, these guys were well rehearsed, they always shot them with the tranquiliser darts before they entered their cells, the keys were locked in a cupboard.

The doors swung open and Akon hauled a fine bodied hooker into an open cell beside Grimmjow. Grimmjow said nothing he merely watched, waiting for them to make a mistake…but they didn't. They just locked the door and left. The hooker coughed and groaned, she seemed familiar. "Oh crap" She said with Yoruichi's Shihouin's silky voice. Grimmjow stared at her. That was a good disguise.

"I'm guessing you got caught for a reason" Grimmjow said. Yoruichi smiled and pulled off her black wig and let her dark purple hair fall around her neck and shoulders. Wow, she was a goddess. She wiped what looked like fake acne off of her face. She plucked contact lenses from her eyes.

"I did" She said. She rummaged around her wig and pulled out a few lock picks. She quickly set to work on the door. Grimmjow kept his eyes on the door in case someone came through.

She unlocked the door impressively fast. She set to work on his door which she finished equally as concise. "You certainly know how to use a lock pick" he said staring down at her. Now that he knew it was Yoruichi that little outfit she was wearing was a billion times hotter, a little pink micro skirt and a bikini top and…hmm Panchira. "Quit gawking" Yoruichi snapped. Her golden eyes bored into him.

"You suit having your hair down"

"Aww" She said grinning "thanks for the fashion advice Perez Jaggerjack"

"Shut up" He scowled watching her as she walked away, the skirt wasn't long enough to cover her ass and just an inch of her cheeks showed beneath it.

"I know you're still gawking"

"Damn" He said "you should let a _real_ man show you a good time"

"Oh?" Yoruichi said "I'll do that when I find one"

He shook his head and followed her. "What now?" He asked

"We see if Kurotsuchi is the Organ Stealer" Yoruichi said "I don't think he is through"

"What makes you think that?" he asked

"A funny feeling, why does he have cronies?" Yoruichi said looking at Grimmjow "the profile I'd built of this guy, he was loner"

"Maybe you were wrong" Grimmjow said

"Maybe I was" Yoruichi said

"You don't think your wrong do you?"

"Nope" Yoruichi listened at the door. "I don't think there's anyone"

"Well then" Grimmjow said "open it"

Yoruichi slowly opened the door and peered into the hallway…Grimmjow merely revelled in Yoruichi's skirt riding up again. "Stop spying, Grimmjow" Yoruichi said testily. How did she know!?

"I was doing no such thing" He said indignantly.

"Yes you were" Yoruichi said "these teal thongs turn heads"

"I'm sure they do" Grimmjow said.

"In fact" Yoruichi walked back into the room and rummaged around. She pulled a pair of overalls from a locker. After thoroughly shaking the dust out of them she stuck them on over her legs and tied the arms around her waist. "Maybe you can focus on more than one thing. Damn, thongs are uncomfortable"

"Hey!" someone said from the door. It was that kid that always hung around with Akon…what was his name…Rin!

Yoruichi moved quickly, she picked up a spanner and threw it. It struck him in the centre of his forehead and bounced off. His body went rigid and then he fell flat on his back. "Skills" Grimmjow said nodding.

"Hey I know how to kick an ass" Yoruichi said

"C'mon" Grimmjow said "I'm hungry"

They both exited the room and walked down the corridor. Yoruichi didn't just know how to kick ass, Grimmjow knew those movements, the hunched shoulders, alert eyes, head moving side to side checking corners and blind spots. She'd been trained by someone who knew what war was. She wasn't a little kitty now, she was a tiger. What a woman!

She stopped and peered around a corner. Grimmjow waited for her hypothesis. "Six people"

"Is Kurotsuchi one of them?"

"Is he some crazy clown looking motherfucker?"  
"Yeah"

"Then yes"

"C'mon, let's just kick some ass and then beat the info out of him" Grimmjow said

"Sounds like a plan" Yoruichi said. "You'd better take the lead I'm still groggy"

"Whatever" He said walking past her. He walked into the open factory floor. Discarded machinery sat strewn all over the floor, except for a clean section in the centre that held an operating table. There was an unconscious female on it. Kurotsuchi stood over her with a bone saw in his hands. Grimmjow continued to walk toward them. They never even noticed him until he'd grabbed some woman and threw her into a trolley of what turned out to be acid, she screamed as her flesh dissolved from her bones. "Interesting" Kurotsuchi said watching her writhing body. "They stay alive so long when acid is involved"

"Shut up" Grimmjow said. Deflecting a blow from another lab coat clad crony. He grabbed the man's arm and twisted it. Kurotsuchi's right hand woman jumped at him. She was quick! Yoruichi appeared at her side and drove her knee into her side.

"Don't be so careless Nemu" Kurotsuchi said "watch a master" he pulled a strange looking sword from his desk. He swung it for Yoruichi who dodged it and backhanded him in the face. Grimmjow quickly dispatched the remaining minions with a combo of kicks and punches. Growing up in New York, he was used to a rumble or two, these guys were easy.

"Ow" Yoruichi held her hand "you bit me"

"I did" He grinned with a horrible mouth of golden teeth. Yoruichi groaned and fell to her knees.

"What is this?" She said. Sweat glistened on her forehead. He chuckled again.

"I nicked you with my sword" He said "I poison it; today you've only been paralysed"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said. Grimmjow caught movement. Nemu had got back up and was aiming a blow for his head.

He dodged the attack and kicked for her stomach. She raised her knee, blocking the kick. Kurotsuchi raised the sword and brought it down on Yoruichi's neck. Grimmjow almost felt sorrow for his new buddy's death….except she didn't die. Another person appeared, it was Kenpachi and he'd grabbed her sword. Grimmjow stared, he'd caught Kurotsuchi's sword, with his bare hand.

Soifon appeared beside Kurotsuchi and drove a strong palm thrust into his nose. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, an attack like that could kill him. Kukaku Shiba also appeared as Yoruichi's side. Grimmjow grabbed Nemu and knocked her out with a picked up lead pipe. He then decided to keep the pipe…lead was worth a lot of money.

"So" Kukaku said "I saved you"

"No" Yoruichi panted "Kenpachi did, you just stood there"

"You really are a paralysed" Kukaku said grinning. She lay Yoruichi down flat and pulled a marker pen out of her pocket. "I think you'd suit a moustache"

"I'll kill you" Yoruichi said. Kukaku laughed and started drawing on Yoruichi. Soifon looked at Grimmjow and then the woman on the operating table.

"She's alive" Soifon said "I think she's been anesthetised"

"He rarely kills his victims" Yoruichi said indignantly as Kukaku giggled like a little girl as she scrawled on her face. Her tongue was poking from her mouth and she switched her black marker for a red one "did you know I was gonna get paralysed?"

"Yep"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said. Grimmjow walked over and inspected Kukaku's handiwork. Yoruichi now had a pair of drawn on glasses, a Hitler moustache, scrawled on her forehead was 'I like Chow Mein', on her chin there was another phrase: 'Blowjob Queen'. Grimmjow laughed, Kukaku had a sense of humour. Damn women in this town were brilliant!

There was a groan and then Kenpachi's massive body hit the ground, his hand where he caught the sword bled slightly. Kukaku stood up and grinned. She flicked the cap of her black marker again. "Just when I though this day couldn't get any better"

"My body's returning" Yoruichi said raising her hand slowly.

"Damn it!" Kukaku said fumbling for a cell phone. She quickly took a picture of Yoruichi's face.

"Such joking!" Someone shouted down at them. Grimmjow looked up at the walkways that lined the upper walls of the factory. Someone stood, wreathed in shadow.

"I know your voice" Grimmjow said "it's you, Grantz!"

"Ah-ha!" He squealed "got it in one, now" He threw something at them. It landed on top of the unconscious woman. "It's set to blow in say…thirty seconds"

Grimmjow stared at the sticks of dynamite with a clock attached to them. "No!" Kenpachi said from the ground.

"We're paralysed!" Yoruichi said "someone, grab the woman and us, we have to go" Grimmjow elected himself to carry Yoruichi, he picked the girl up as well but he wasn't as careful with her. Kukaku and Soifon struggled with Kenpachi.

"Damn it" Kukaku said "why did you have to eat so many veggies when you were a kid"

"He's just big boned" Yachiru said, she also pushed him. How much time had passed? Grimmjow picked up his pace and ran for the door. If he could go back and help Kukaku he'd maybe score some brownie points and she'd give him Ulquiorra's location. He got outside and dumped Yoruichi and the girl and ran back inside. He hauled Kenpachi onto his shoulder. "Stop mincing around!" He shouted at Soifon who was trying to un-catch her leg from a steel girder.

"It's stuck!" She said

"Oh goddammit!" Grimmjow said. He left her and ran as fast as he could with Kenpachi, damn this guy was heavy. He dumped Kenpachi and then turned.

He took one step forward and was blown back by the massive explosion. Heat seared his face. His ears rang and every nerve in his body screamed with pain. Yoruichi stared horrified at the explosion… she took a deep breath. "SOIFON!" She screamed. This would have been saddening…if Yoruichi didn't look like a hazed college girl…

[End of Chapter Seven]


	8. Chapter 8: Eviscerated

Kukaku stared as the factory exploded into an inferno of burning chemicals. Soifon was a little bitch but she didn't deserve to die like that. Yoruichi struggled against the effects of the paralysis poison and eventually got sluggishly to her feet. She stumbled toward the blazing building. "Hey!" Kukaku said "you can't go in there, she's dead just face it"

"Don't give me your shit, Kukaku" Yoruichi snapped not slowing her pace. Kukaku tackled her to the ground.

"Don't waste your life too, idiot"

"Get off me" Yoruichi said struggling. Damn it! Kukaku thought, ever since she'd lost this arm she couldn't do anything. Yoruichi quickly threw her off, even with the paralysis Yoruichi was more than a match for her. Kukaku lay on the ground looking up at the sky; she could feel tears welling up again. Damn this arm! She was so useless now. Yoruichi disappeared inside the building.

Kukaku watched the door, she wasn't really expecting Yoruichi to return with Soifon…or return at all of that matter. "What a farce" Grimmjow said beside her.

"What were you doing!?" She snapped slapping his leg "you could've easily held Yoruichi down"

"Some things just have to be done" Grimmjow said "ah speak of the devil"

Yoruichi stumbled out of the building. In her arms was Soifon's broken, tiny body. She looked smaller than she'd ever seen. Her arms hung limply down. Yoruichi was now fully crying, it was something Kukaku had seen Yoruichi do very rarely. Sweat and tears made the marker pen's ink run. There were sirens in the distance. Yoruichi knelt on the ground and held Soifon in a hug. Kukaku looked down at Soifon and shockingly she was alive and awake. Although she seemed close to letting both of these things slip away. She raised her hand and wiped the ink from Yoruichi's face, her hand shook so badly she missed most of it. "I can feel it, Yoruichi" Soifon said "I'm gonna die here"

"No you're not!" Yoruichi snapped cuddling into her.

"It was fun while it lasted" Soifon choked

"C'mon, the services are coming they'll help you" Yoruichi said

"It's useless anyway" Soifon said "what have I got to live for really?"

"Shut up" Yoruichi snapped "at least hold on for me"

"So I can be your eye candy?"

"Don't be like that" Yoruichi said. She held her tighter "I don't just want to have sex with you Soifon I'm in love with you"

"Oh don't be melodramatic" Soifon said smiling

"I love you" Yoruichi said "I want to take you away, I want to dance in Le Bilboquet to the Unchained Melody with you, I want to take you to see the fireworks at Edinburgh Castle, to see a Chelsea Match at Stamford Bridge. I want to take you to the great barrier reef, Wulingyuan National park, The Namib desert" She kissed Soifon's forehead "there's still so much in this world you haven't seen. Let me show them to you"

"Y-you're paying" Soifon chuckled.

The fire brigade and ambulances appeared from the darkness. "Happy birthday, Soifon" Yoruichi said. Kukaku looked at her watch 00:01 it read. Soifon was eighteen today. They quickly set to work on Soifon, hauling her onto a stretcher and then pushing her into an ambulance. Yoruichi adamantly jumped in behind her, ignoring any protest. "What happened?" came Nel's voice behind her.

"I think Kurotsuchi is now kuro sushi" Kukaku said. Nel laughed

"Was this your doing?"

"No" Kukaku said "there was another, a man Grimm…" She stared at the empty patch of ground Grimmjow should've been standing on, He was gone. "Grimmjow called him Grantz"

"Szayel" Nel said. She scowled and turned her back "His name is Szayel Aporro Grantz"

"His name crops up every now and then" Kukaku said

"What do you know?"

"I'll have to consult my notes" Kukaku said "I don't keep everything in my head you know"

"Keep me posted" Nel said "I swear, the instant I became a cop you guy's totally abandoned me" she muttered walking away.

"I knew she'd hold a grudge about that" Kukaku said to herself. The ambulance that carried Soifon and Yoruichi disappeared into the night wailing and flashing as it went. Some paramedics were trying to treat Kenpachi but he was raving about not wanting to pay health insurance money and hitting them.

They eventually gave up and left him. He sat on the ground. "So" Kukaku said "what've you got in mind?"

"Dunno" He said "I fancy looking for that guy, give him a good beat down"

"Come on" Kukaku said helping him up "we might as well get back to the bar, I left Ichigo in charge"

"Did you think it'd be…_him _that Soifon would go to, to try and get Kurotsuchi's address?"

"I had a feeling but it still surprised me" Kukaku said "I thought he was so far underground he was in Africa"

"Well, he did retire" Kukaku said "what surprised me more is the fact he helped her"

"That old bastard" Kenpachi muttered sliding into the passenger seat of Kukaku's car. Yachiru jumped in back and Kukaku got in the driver seat, she'd had to get an automatic, she couldn't drive a stick shift with one arm…what a joke! She envied Yoruichi, she'd wanted to drive that gorgeous car of hers for so long but she couldn't. Damn this arm…

***Change***

Bambietta scowled at the computer screen. As a member of the Stern Ritter she had to remove all the porn she'd uploaded to this site. Damn! It'd taken her ages to record all this stuff. She sighed as she deleted the dog video, that was the first request she'd taken…she shouldn't have bothered, now everyone and their mother wanted her to do fucked up stuff. It was gross and repulsive but she loved the attention. For the ten minutes people watched the video their eyes were on her, she was centre stage and she was marvellous.

She only really liked killing people, in terms of the other stuff she wasn't too keen on it but her fans loved it, be it drinking Candice's blood or drinking laxatives and taking it up the ass 'till she shit herself they all loved it. She didn't but it made people notice her.

Now the Stern Ritter ordered her to take it all down, such a shame. Her mobile rang. She answered it with a "What!"

"Uh…it's me, Bambietta" Said a Greek accented man "Paiderastís"

"Oh what do you want?" She said, it was the first time she'd heard his voice  
"Someone's deleting your vids!" He exclaimed

"I know" Bambietta said "it's me"

"Why?"

"Because I've got a new project and I can't have these sitting around cyberspace, I'm also gonna drop 'The Bomb' so I'd delete any downloads you've got of me or your hard drive is wiped"

"Alright" He said. Bambietta thought herself to be very clever to put a tiny virus inside every .MP4 file on her 'channel' so if she needed the vids to disappear she could activate the Virus' payload and delete every vid of her in existence.

"Out of curiosity" Bambietta said "how many accumulated views have my vids got?"

"About three million" He said "two thousand downloads"

"Oh, sweet" She said

"The most recent being…oh crap"

"What?"

"The most recent down load was 'Lucky Suck' and it was from Seireitei from a user called…damn it" He muttered

"What!"

"The user is called Fuck-You-Bambietta"

"FUCK!" Bambietta said "delete your vids now, I'm activating the bomb!"

"Okay" He said "damn you were good"

"I know" She said smiling

"Is your blonde friend gonna stay?"  
"No" Bambietta said "she's on my project"

"Damn it" He said

"You've got five minutes" Bambietta said clicking on The Bomb's icon.

She hung up and Bambietta deleted more of her videos. It was hard to believe she'd accumulated three million views! Who knew so many people were interested in her. Well… she did appeal to every category of weirdo. She had to admit, she wouldn't miss it. No more weeks of not being able to walk straight, no more trying to position herself under various animals and most certainly no more lesbian stuff with Candice and the others. Seriously! Everyone wanted her and Candice to do weird shit together, it was just…wrong!

Her mind went back to the person who'd downloaded her video, why Lucky Suck! That one was… hopefully the virus would kill it. Who could've done it? She should've asked Mr Paiderastís what the IP address was… no that was stupid they'd have to use a Proxy to get in, their IP would be different. Wait! If the IP was blocked how did he know it was the Seireitei the vid had went to. She picked up her phone and dialled Mr Paiderastis. He picked up "hey I was wondering…" she stopped when she heard laughing, it started soft at first and then got louder and more manic "who is this?"

"They call me…The Mastermind"

"Who are you"

"I just told you you stupid whore!" the man snapped, his voice was weird and distorted

"Was it you who downloaded that vid"

"Yeah, nothing like seeing your lips wrapped around old yeller"

"Damn it, what do you want?"

"Nothing" he said "I'll think of something, I might just email this vid to every motherfucker in the eastern seaboard the ...'teh lolz'"

"Damn it" Bambietta said

"Well?"

"If you want anything let me know" Bambietta said.

"I will"  
"Fine, watch your back Mastermind, I've got friends"

"So have I" The Mastermind chuckled again maniacally and hung up. Well…this day could get worse…

***Change***

Yoruichi held Soifon's hand. She sipped a juice box and seemed to be trying to ignore Yoruichi's hand. "Do you mind?" She eventually said.

"Sorry" Yoruichi said letting it go, she immediately wanted to take her hand again. When Soifon was taken to hospital she'd crashed twice, Yoruichi had found herself staring at the straight green line on her heartbeat monitor horrified. The doctor had revived her both times and commented that Soifon's will to live was incredible. It made Yoruichi wonder, had her speech really meant that much to her?  
Soifon seemed awkward and quite tense ever since she'd woken up. Her face was covered in little cuts and Yoruichi had seen the horrible wound on her chest. They'd cut her t-shirt off in the ambulance, it was horrific; Yoruichi could see quite a few of her organs. She couldn't close her eyes without seeing Soifon's heart feebly beating inside her eviscerated chest. The fact she'd survived seemed to be making medical history, three news teams had shown up already.

The door burst open and Hinamori appeared. "Soifon" She said. She wore hospital scrubs and looked slightly tired, she must be on nightshift. "What Happened?"

"I got attacked by a…flock of dragons" Soifon said "I got most of them but the last one…that one got the drop on me" Yoruichi sighed, Soifon's story was getting more and more extreme, the story had varied from fighting a monster made out of stalagmites in a cave to slipping in the shower.

"Ukitake is on his way" Hinamori said "he's really worried"  
"Crap" Soifon said "I hate people fussing over me, how many synonyms for the word thanks do you know?"

"Just pretend to be humbled by their sympathies" Yoruichi said

"How do I do that?" Soifon said before breaking down in a coughing fit. "Oh Christ" Soifon said "hopefully my lungs heal, I like running y'know"

"They say you'll make a full recovery" Yoruichi said. Hinamori picked up a clipboard at the end of her bed.

"Hi there!" the door opened to reveal Aizen holding a large bouquet of flowers. Yoruichi's blood ran cold. A news crew loitered around behind him, the flashes of their cameras dazed Yoruichi as she stared at him. "I hope you all don't mind, I just heard there was quite the little survivor and I just had to come and give my best of wishes" Soifon shrugged and grimaced at the pain. Yoruichi had forgotten Soifon wasn't there when Aizen threatened them, she was in the toilet and Yoruichi never told her that he was there.

Yoruichi watched apprehensively as he entered the room and placed the expensive bouquet into a vase at her bedside table. He leant over and placed a kiss on her cheek. Soifon gave him a confused look. She obviously wasn't used to feeling the pompous actions of a politician first hand. He pushed a red ribbon onto her gown that read 'I vote for Aizen!' he smiled and posed for some pictures. Soifon looked even more awkward than Yoruichi had ever seen, it was actually quite cute. "Can you get out of the shot" one of the photographers snapped at Yoruichi. She turned and scowled at him but obeyed, she took two steps back.

Yoruichi watched jealously as Aizen smiled with Soifon. That bastard! Why was he here? "Okay" he said "that's enough, we have to let this poor girl get some rest" He walked to the door and stepped past Kyoraku and Ukitake who both stared at him as if he was a rabid dog. As quickly as they'd appeared Aizen and his news teams had disappeared. Kyoraku closed the door after the entire of the Kotowari centre flooded in. "What happened!?" Matsumoto demanded.

"I got blown up" Soifon said

"I knew it was a bad idea letting you take her" uikitake said to Yoruichi.

"I…uh…It was kinda my fault" Soifon said

"Just walk us through what happened" Yoruichi said curious as to how Soifon had found Mayuri's hideout

"Well" Soifon said "it all started when I was at Urahara's house"

**[Five hours earlier]**

Soifon turned away from the screen. These videos were repulsive. Bambietta seemed to be taking whatever request her creepy clientele asked for and performing them with disgusting vigour. Even Urahara looked slightly peaky. "We've seen enough" Toshiro said "just get rid of that…god I'll never look at a dog the same way again"

"What now?" Soifon said

"Well this is the nail in her coffin, and her little bitch friends" Toshiro said

"Hmm" Urahara said

"What?"

"This account has limited privileges; I cannot download any of these videos"

"So make an account" Toshiro said

"I'll do it tomorrow" He said "do you want to make a lot of money, Soifon?"

"Well…I suppose" She said. She wondered what he had up his sleeve. She twirled her keys in her middle finger.

"Sell this information to…" He stared at Soifon like she'd just turned into a nine headed Hydra. "Is..." he held out his hand, it visibly shook, and he stopped her twirling the keys and stared at her key ring. He stared at it for a good ten seconds. He grip tightened so much Soifon felt he might rip her hand right off.

"Ow, get off me" she snapped smacking his arm

"Sorry" He chuckled "I haven't seen a gem like that, they're very rare, it's worth a lot of money" he pulled out a fan and covered his mouth only his eyes were visible "sell this information to Kukaku Shiba, it's worth a lot of money"

"I'll think about it" Soifon said, she still hadn't forgiven Kukaku for selling information about her to Bambietta of all bitches! Nevertheless she could do with collecting as much money as she could, this life was turning out to be a bit dangerous and having a lot of money hidden somewhere could only do good.

Soifon pulled out her phone and, reluctantly, dialled Kukaku. "Kukaku's info hotline" said a male voice.

"Uh…can I speak to Kukaku?" Soifon said

"No, you've got me. Ganju Shiba" He replied "Kukaku's busy"

"Well I hear you buy information as well as sell it" Soifon said

"We do"

"Well do you want to buy…something about Bambietta Basterbine?"

"Perhaps" there was a sound like scuffling and then a very loud 'Awwww" coming from Ganju

"Soifon!" came Kukaku's voice

"Uh hi"

"No hard feelings" She said. Soifon could hear the smile in her voice, the cow.

"All the hard feelings" Soifon said "but I wish to make a sale"

"What do you want to sell?"

"Bambietta Basterbine's…pastime"

"Which would be?"

"Uh…" Soifon looked back at the screen "'Adult' entertainment"

"Oh" Kukaku said "she's only sixteen though, it must be an unscrupulous site"

"It is"

"Its name?"

"How much?"

"I'd say…if it is a gross as I think it might be I'd put a wager on nine point five grand"

"That sounds about right" Soifon said "how are you gonna get my money?"

"It'll be _delivered_"

"Sounds cryptic"

"It is" Kukaku said "…are you gonna give me the name?"

"I can't pronounce it" Soifon said. Kisuke grabbed the phone out of her hand.

"Kukaku-san" he said. Soifon shook her head and went back over to Toshiro who was playing bejewelled on Facebook.

"I'm unbeatable in terms of gaming" He said

"What about when you were playing Hiyori at Mortal Combat and she cut you in half three times in a row"

"I cut her in half too" He said indignantly. "Me and Hiyori, we're so unlucky, almost any game you can get cut in half in we do, it's as if god's just decided getting cut in half is the only we can possibly be defeated"

"Sounds tough" Soifon unsympathetically consoled.

"Ah Soifon" Urahara said

"What's up?" Soifon said taking her phone back.

"You'd better look for Yoruichi, she's went after Kurotsuchi without you"

"Dick move" Soifon said looking at her watch "why are you telling me this?"

"I thought you'd want to know what your boss is doing" Urahara said. His mouth was hidden by the fan again. It was fast becoming annoying, was he allergic to a straight answer?

"Whatever" Soifon said raising her hand "I don't care"

"Okay then" He said turning back to Toshiro "see you whenever you decide to come back to my shop"

"Fine" Soifon said walking out the door. What should she do now? Should she find out where Kurotsuchi is hiding and see if she can help Yoruichi? Sounds like a plan!

She looked at the address napkin again. This was the place…an old folk's home. She walked into the reception and greeted the receptionist. "Hi" Soifon said "I'm looking for…Genryusai Yamamoto"

"Okay" The receptionist said typing on the keyboard of her computer. "He's out in the garden" She said "are you a relative?"

"I'm a student" Soifon said with made up words "I heard Mr Yamamoto knows a lot about Vietnam" she was taking an absolute stab in the dark, hoping he was a veteran.

"Oh, alright" She said "but don't make a fuss, he doesn't like people thinking he needs to rely on them. You'll know him when you see him he has an x shaped scar on his forehead"

"Okay" Soifon said putting on her visitors pass.

She quickly found her way outside and looked around. The elderly went about their quiet business. "So you want to speak to Yamamoto" said another staff member "I'll have to escort you"

"That's okay" Soifon said. He walked through the tranquil private park that constituted as the garden. Soifon followed. He walked up to two elderly men sitting in the shade of a tree playing chess. "Hi there Genryusai" He said "this young lady wants to ask you about the war"

"Which one?" he said. This earned a chuckle from his playmate, a white haired posh looking dude with a moustache, he looked very…British.

"I'll leave you to it" He said walking away. Soifon stared at them awkwardly.

"So you wish to learn about Vietnam?"

"No" Soifon said

"I didn't think so" He said moving a piece "Checkmate Chojiro, you lose again"

"You're too good Genryuusai-sama" he said

"How about you young lady" He said

"What about me?" Soifon said. This guy was strangely intimidating.

"Who sent you to me?"

"Um…Ryuu Shihouin" She said

"Oh" he said "The Dragon of the East"

"What is the deal with you people and Dragons!" Soifon snapped

"I had four subordinates all with a direction and worked under the guise Zanka no Tachi" Yamamoto said "that's what he was called when he used to work for me, the Eastern Dragon"

"He worked for you?"

"Yes"

"Whoa" Soifon said "I thought he worked himself all these years" she said to herself

"What is your name?" he said

"Soifon"

"Your real name"

"Shaolin Feng"

"Longwei" Chojiro said to Yamamoto

"So The Western Dragon had a daughter"

"West?" Soifon was confused "my father lived in Britain, he couldn't have worked for you"  
"Yet he did" Yamamoto said "but enough of that, that is not the reason you're here"

"Yeah" Soifon said "I was looking for a man called Mayuri"

"Kurotsuchi" Yamamoto said "I know his location, why are you looking for him, he is a dangerous man"

"My employer is on the warpath with him and I want to help her"

"Why do you want to help her?"

"Because she'd my friend" Soifon said

"Even if it means you'll cross blades with a man like Kurotsuchi, he'll kill you without a second thought"

"I can handle myself"  
"No you can't, not against him"  
"If Longwei trained her maybe she can" Chojiro said

"Who is your employer?" Yamamoto said

"Yoruichi Shihouin"

"How humorous" Yamamoto said "Longwei and Ryuu and then Shaozu and Ryo and now Shaolin and Yoruichi"

"I thought Ryuu didn't know my father" Soifon said. If he did why had he lied?

"It's not important, we weren't nice people back in the old days, and some graves are better left undisturbed"

"I agree" Chojiro said

"So where is he?" Soifon said watching the sun start to descend

"He, might be at his factory in the Kusajishi district"

"What number is it?"

"Twelve" he replied

"Thanks" Soifon said turning to leave

"The only gift your father ever gave to you" Yamamoto said after her "do you still have it"

"I do" She showed him the key ring.

"I thought so" Yamamoto said to Chojiro. Soifon stared at the key ring, why was this thing becoming the hottest subject of the town. She continued to walk away. So if her father and Ryuu were East and West…who was north and south? Would they be someone close to her as well, maybe Mr Kuchiki from the school or maybe even Ukitake has been running an underground crime empire from his bed…god this was ridiculous! What's the deal with this city, why were there so many dangerous people around. Soifon silently cursed, she should've asked how he knew where Mayuri was. She'd have to buy a dairy or something to put all this information in.

She wondered where she could get someone to help. Maybe Kukaku could, she didn't like Kukaku but she seemed to be close to Yoruichi which could only be good. Sorted! She'd go and see Kukaku.

It took an annoying amount of time to reach The Roman Candle; it was almost ten by the time she got there. Kukaku stood behind the bar cleaning a glass, this seemed to be her default setting. "Soifon" she said "I like that info, Bambietta is a dirty young lady"

"Gross I know" Soifon said

"Meh" Kukaku said before taking a puff out of her cigarette "I've seen more powerful people do worse, at least there was no cannibalism"

"Yeah only bestiality and drinking blood, that's cannibalism!" Soifon said

"Not really"

"Yes it is!" Soifon said

"Shut up, what do you want?" Kukaku snapped

"Yeah" Soifon said "I found out where Mayuri's hideout is"

"Do you want to sell it; it's a hot topic so I'll give fifteen for it"

"No I want to borrow him" She pointed at Kenpachi. Kenpachi looked up from his domino stacking.

"Do I get to cut something?"

"Probably" Soifon said

"Count me in"

"Sounds like this'll be fun" Kukaku said "I'm coming too"

[Back to present and Soifon's POV]

"Well you guys can guess the rest" Soifon said. God her chest hurt, like when you've got a really bad cough and spend at least five minutes just coughing and the vibration starts to make your lungs hurt, it was kind of like that except worse.  
"Longwei Feng" Kyoraku stroked his stubble "I can't believe Yama-ji helped you"

"It's not like him to give up information like that" Ukitake said

"So you guys knew him?"

"Yeah" Ukitake said "he was our…general in Desert Storm"

"I never knew you were in the army"

"Both of us were" Kyoraku said "but that's long past, we're more pacifistic these days. Too much bloodshed isn't good for the soul"

"So the killer" Shuhei said "it's this Grantz guy?"

"I presume so" Soifon said "I'll never forget that damn voice"

"We'll put our feelers out I suppose" Renji said "now that we know who we're looking for"

"No!" Ukitake snapped "this man is dangerous; I'll not have one of the kids dead because of this man"

"I agree" Yoruichi said "that goes for you too Soifon, I can't let you stay on this case"

"Why not?"

"Because three hours ago your insides were on your outside" Yoruichi said "I won't let you get hurt again on my watch"

"Whatever" Soifon said crossing her arms and wincing at the pain it caused. "What'll you do?"

"I'm gonna burn this city to the ground" Yoruichi said with a rather malicious shade to her face. "This guy…" She stood up and walked to the door "he won't survive the night"

***Grantz POV***

Another piece of his new girlfriend walked down the street, he could imagine the incisions he'd make to remove these body parts. She turned a concerned and walked down an alleyway. What kind of idiot did that in freekin Zaraki, there was a rapist in every corner in there. He jumped out of his van and followed her. There came a scream from the alleyway. Grantz felt rage growl inside him. These delinquents had better not be ruining his woman!

He jogged around the corner and came face to face with four men and the attractive young lady on the ground. They tried to peel clothes from her perfect body. Grantz pulled out his gun and fired four decisive shots. The woman looked slightly dazed on the ground. "y-you saved me!" She said. He switched his gun for a tranquiliser gun he'd stolen from that Kurotsuchi buffoon.

"No!" He said "more like out of the frying pan" he pulled the trigger and the dart stuck into her leg. With a groan she hit the ground.

Now! How was he going to slice out those perfect eyes?

[End of Chapter Eight…boy this is pretty long now!]

**So! Yes you may notice that I'm trying to go a little backwards with Bambietta's psychosis. I may have over exaggerated her at the beginning, it won't make for a convincing Bambietta personality if I made her too insane so I'm gonna chalk it up to just being attention seeking! I hope it's not too much a kick in the balls but hey, she's quite the Looney in the Manga. Also is anyone digging the Yamamoto bankai thing I've got going with Ryuu and Soifon's pops that's totally dead and won't be appearing in due course. **


	9. Chapter 9: Revelations

**For the first goddamn time I've noticed that Fanfiction doesn't show the breaks I put for time skips and perspective change! Dafuq! So I'll have to apologise for the story seeming to randomly switch perspective and then back…I'll put a few stars or something to show…idk. Also I've changed something on chapter eight where The Mastermind tells Bambietta to stop picking on Soifon, that's changed because I had something planned for Soifon and Bambietta and that contradicts it…so apologies! **

***Story***

Yoruichi dipped her finger in one of the many pools of blood. Four people had been perfectly assassinated whist trying to rape some young lady, the young lady in question sat with her back against the wall wailing about not having any eyes. Yoruichi would be upset too if someone had stolen her eyes. Was the Grantz? Did he leave his victims alive? Paramedics tended to her. "Hey" Yoruichi said "did the man who did this have pink hair and a flamboyant attitude?"

"That sounds like him" the young woman panted. Yoruichi sighed, where to now? Nel approached behind her.

"What's the news?" She said

"I haven't got much" Yoruichi replied "this case is rubbish, there's little to no evidence. He even picked up the damn shell casings"

"I saw that" Nel said watching a familiar looking leggy blonde looking inside a trash can.

"Who's she?" Yoruichi said

"My new GF and my new assistant" Nel said with a distinct look of pride on her face.

"Oh" Yoruichi said inspecting the young woman…not a bad catch. She went back to her investigating… there had to be something! In her frustration she kicked a trash can. Underneath it rolled out a tranquiliser dart. "Oh hey" Yoruichi said smiling. She bent down and picked it up using a napkin to prevent contaminating it.

"Is that a dart?" Nel said

"Looks like it" Yoruichi said "in fact" Yoruichi said "one of these was stuck in my ass not ten hours ago"

"Huh?" Nel looked at her dumbfounded

"The Honey Trap" Yoruichi said "don't tell me you've forgotten already"?" Nel made a childish gesture

"Oh come on, you know my head gets fuzzy sometimes!" She snapped. Strangely Nel seemed to suit acting like a child, she never quite seemed…adult, even with massive breasts and long smooth legs, there was always something…juvenile about her. Nel took the dart and placed it in a plastic bag. It's likely he'd got that dart from Kurotsuchi, typical serial killer; he was becoming more efficient, learning new techniques from others. "Just so you know" Nel said "we've looked over the factory, we didn't find Kurotsuchi's body or a large number of his team, we've maybe got five or six deranged scientists running around my town"

"The stakes are becoming higher" Yoruichi said "this Grantz has a death wish"

Yoruichi noticed Grimmjow loitering outside the cordoned area. He seemed to be trying to get her attention without getting anyone else's it really just looked like he was doing an awkward and jittery dance. She walked over to him. "What's up?" She said

"We've got to talk about Grantz" He said  
"Who is he?"

"He's one of the Espada" He said. Yoruichi's brain started to race again. What was happening, why would one of Aizen's cronies be destroying the city he's trying to become mayor of?

"It's all a ploy" Grimmjow said flashing an awkward glance at Nel who was walking over

"Grimmjow" She said "long time no see"

"Neliel" he said "same, do you know who Zommari Leroux is?"

"He's one of the new detectives" Nel said "quiet but quite creepy"

"He's another Espada" Grimmjow said "he's a bit after your time but he's no pushover"

"Humph" Nel muttered crossing her arms "I remember when the Espada used to be like a family"

"I remember when the Espada weren't just around for intimidating people" Grimmjow muttered.

"Save the trip down memory lane" Yoruichi snapped "what's the point in all this?"

"Zommari…" Grimmjow looked over his shoulder "Aizen has set this up, he's been using crazy psychological techniques on Grantz ever since he became an Espada, he's been making him lose his mind, he intends to have Zommari catch him and prove that he makes the best decisions as Governor since it was him who'd suggested Zommari to be promoted to detective"

"And also cementing a high powered police official at his side" Yoruichi said "it makes an annoying amount of sense"

"Why are you doing this?" Nel said

"What?"

"Helping us" She replied "I remember you, you were an animal"

"I've got my reasons to hate Aizen" Grimmjow said, he turned and walked away muttering something about someone called Luppi. Nel watched him suspiciously

"I don't trust him" Nel said

"By that logic I shouldn't trust you" Yoruichi said "you were an Espada as well"  
"I was betrayed for my rank"

"So those numbers do mean something?"

"The lower the number usually the more…fighting power they've got" Nel said

"Number three, eh?" Yoruichi said chuckling

"And I was eighteen at the time" Nel said raising an eyebrow.

Yoruichi turned back to the scene, what was there she was missing? She picked up an empty sweet wrapper. "What are…Fishermen's Friends?" Yoruichi said looking at Nel. She shrugged. She looked at the back of the wrapper. Pulling out her phone she dialled Urahara.

"Do you know what time it is?" He snapped on the second ring

"Judging by how quick you picked up I'd say you were awake"

"What do you want?" He said slightly panting. Yoruichi stopped and started to grin.

"What…uh…what were you doing?"

"I-I Erm…nothing"

"I think you were doing something…" Yoruichi laughed "she'd be about 5'6 messy black hair, massive rack"

"Get on with it" he snapped again

"Do you know what…uh…Fishermen's Friends are?"

"…the mints?"

"Yeah…I guess?"

"They are lozenges, made in Britain; they are supposed to help respiratory problems for Fishermen or other seamen"

"Oh alright" Yoruichi said "thanks"

"No problem" He said pulling away from the phone. "Speaking of seamen" he said just before he hung up she heard a female giggle. Yoruichi laughed and stuffed the wrapper into her pocket. Seamen huh? If this wrapper was Grantz's he might still be at the docks. It would make sense; hiding on a ship of some kind is good cover. Okay! Some gears were turning, finally!

She hopped into her car and started it up. The passenger door opened and Nel jumped in. "Can I help you?"

"Run me home" She said "Candice drove me in and she went home herself"

"I'm going to the docks" Yoruichi said

"Why?"

"I think that's where Grantz is hiding" Yoruichi said

"Because you found a sweet wrapper?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said shrugging "and they're more like lozenges"

"Fine" Nel said "I'm coming along"

"Whatever" Yoruichi said "are you strapped?"

"I'm always prepared" she said patting the gun on her hip.

"Why do you wear short shorts?" Yoruichi asked "you look like a Kissogram"

"I wore them because the uniforms were constricting, have you ever tried to chase a thug wearing those stupid pants they give?" Nel said "not to mention they were warm"

"Fair enough" Yoruichi said

"What about you?" Nel said "those black pants of yours are older than your assistant"

"I've got about fourteen pairs actually; you'd be surprised how many pairs of these I've ruined" Yoruichi said

"You're like one of those cartoon characters that wear the same outfit every day" Nel said "I prefer My Little Pony" she grimaced and slapped her head.

"You always struck me as a Brony" Yoruichi chuckled

"No, that was kid Nel" She said rubbing her temples. "I haven't got long till she comes out; maybe you should take me home"

"You've got about two hours" Yoruichi said "we can do this before then"

"Maybe" Nel said "I'll take a gamble"

"That's the spirit" Yoruichi grinned. She took another turn. She just had to drive through Zaraki and then she was out of the Ochita district and entering the Docklands. The Seireitei had had a massive fishing business, mostly from the Japanese trawlers going back and forth between Rukon and the Japanese mainland. Although these days The Seireitei's money mostly came from tourism and rich and famous accommodation.

"Where are the boys?"  
"Boys?"

"Yeah" Nel said "I haven't even seen or heard about Ryo or Shaozu and Kaien…is self-explanatory"

"I wish I had an answer" Yoruichi said "after Kaien died they both disappeared. I've asked Kukaku if she knows anything but they paid her off and she will only say that they are scary monsters making ghosts"

"Cryptic" Nel said

"I stopped thinking about it; if they don't wanna be found why bother looking for them?"

"But…you must feel it" Nel said watching a dark cloud on the horizon. Her tone of voice made her shiver "there's a storm coming Yoruichi, we should be gathering allies and nailing down our shutters" she looked rather bleak "I'm not talking Aizen either, there…is something else out there, something worse"

"I don't know what you're getting at" Yoruichi said

"I've been hearing whispers, there is another player on this board and they are keeping their cards close to their chest"

"Now you're kinda freaking me out" Yoruichi said

"I've only heard a name"

"Who?"

"The Mastermind" She said

"Never heard of them" Yoruichi said "sounds pretentious"

"Perhaps" Nel said "we'll only know how good they are until they make a move, but they've been preparing, gathering allies and making deals, as if they were preparing for an all-out assault on the free world"

"Not my problem right now" Yoruichi said. Why was Nel telling her this now! She had enough to think about with Aizen and Grantz she didn't need another person ruining her days.

"I know, I thought I'd warn you" Nel said "get Kukaku to keep an eye open…but don't make too much of a fuss, The Mastermind has ears everywhere"

"I'll see what I can find" Yoruichi said "no promises"

"I know" Nel said. The sun had risen and shone down with its ultraviolet rays of melanoma inducing radiation but Yoruichi still felt cold. They continued their journey to the Docklands. Yoruichi had briefly owned an apartment that overlooked the sea but there were too many unscrupulous people about and she found it tiresome being on her guard all the time.

It was hard to believe that half a mile up the coast from the Docklands was a beautiful beach that attracted massive quantities of tourists but there was a large thin rocky outcrop of land that completely hid the Docks from both the elements and the fickle eyes of tourists. A pretty light house sat at the tip of it.

Yoruichi finally got out of Zaraki and drove down the Main Coastal road that was basically a six lane road that completely encircled the entire outside of the Seireitei. It joined onto the Inter-City-Highway in a ridiculous entanglement of junctions and overpasses. Yoruichi nearly had many fender benders there. Nel tapped her fingers on the dashboard to the rhythm of White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane which played on the radio.

She found a place to park and stepped out. The Dockyard was basically a mile squared maze of boats that were out of commission. They all sat on little scaffolds made specifically for them. It was like an Airplane Graveyard for boats. "He could be in any one of these" Nel said

"That is apparent" Yoruichi said "look in the biggest first, you got a backup piece I can have?"

"You don't have anything in your car?"

"Well…" Yoruichi shifted her weight and shrugged, "I may have a small arsenal but you're a cop I didn't want to show you.

"Lemmie see!" Nel said clapping her hands like a child being handed Christmas presents.

"Fine" Yoruichi said opening the boot (trunk) of the car. Pressing the secret button the floor of the boot slid back and revealed several varied weapons all neatly placed in a foam compartment specifically crafted for them.

"Supernatural wants their idea back" Nel said giving her a sideways look

"Hey" Yoruichi snapped "it took me a while to accumulate all this stuff, That L96 is a rare deity in this day and age"  
"I noticed you've got a gun for every situation, call you prepared" Nel said

"What do you mean?"

"Well" Nel pointed "a M16 for medium range, MP5 for close range, that L96 is effective for…what two miles?"

"Something like that"

"And that Remington" She pulled the black and green pump-action shotgun out "this was a favourite of mine"  
"That is your old one" Yoruichi said "look" she pointed at the inscription on the butt 'Gamuza'. Nel smiled nostalgically.

"It's been so long since I held it" She said "can I keep it!?" She said leaning annoyingly close to her.

"Damn it yes" Yoruichi said. "Don't do that if you've had tuna for lunch, man your breath stinks"

"Uh…" Nel stared at her "I never had any fish for lunch I…uh…"

"That's disgusting!" Yoruichi said "at least use mouthwash or something when you're done, man that's just nasty"

"I loved this model as well, the 887 was just genetically superior" She admired the gun.

"I was a SPAS girl myself" Yoruichi said "it was always a kill"

"That's because there was nothing left of the victim" Nel said "I honestly think the person that designed the SPAS-12 had bigger game than people in mind, like maybe Satan or those big dinosaur things from Pacific Rim"

"Whatever" Yoruichi said pulling a pistol out. "I'll only need this but I find it good that I'm prepared for world war three"

"I don't think it'll be long before you'll be eating your words"

"Maybe so" Yoruichi said "come on, split up or go together?"  
"Together" Nel said "I might go kid mode any minute now"

"Hang tight" Yoruichi said patting her shoulder and sliding her .45 into a holder concealed in her jacket. She'd owned that orange jacket for years and it'd never been ruined or destroyed so she'd modified it slightly to hold guns and have secret compartments for stuff like lock picks and even a cyanide pill. She strolled into the Docklands with Nel close behind. She held the shotgun casually by her side. Yoruichi kept forgetting Nel was a cop sometimes. It sometimes did feel like a betrayal, Yoruichi didn't feel as betrayed as Kukaku and Ryo did but it did hurt. After they'd all made the promise to never help this corrupt sack of crap normal people called a government Nel became a cop? It was nice to know she was on the same page as the rest…

"Let's try this one" Yoruichi said pointing at a large red and black fishing boat.

"You first" Nel said "I'll cover you"

"It's a good thing I put shells in that gun 'cause you never picked up any" Yoruichi said. Nel pumped it once.

"I'm loaded anyway" Nel said "no sudden moves"  
"Yeah" Yoruichi said climbing up the ladder. It was strange seeing so many boats with so little people near them. In fact Yoruichi would say that this place is more deserted than it usually was.  
"Yoruichi" Nel said

"What?"

"Does it feel…quiet to you?"

"I was thinking that exact thing" Yoruichi said climbing onto the deck of the boat. There usually were a few engineers and guards loitering around. She noticed a darker shade of red on the deck. "Fuck" Yoruichi said

"What is it?" Nel said climbing over

"I think we're in the right place" Yoruichi said pointing at the blood stain. She raised her gun and continued to walk, albeit cautiously toward the cabins. Nel behind her Yoruichi decided if anything jumped out at her she'd hit the deck because Nel would just fire and blow her and whatever jumped out away.

Yoruichi stepped into the ships interior. She almost retched, damn it stinks in here! "What the hell?" Nel said behind her covering her nose with her arm.

"Smells like death" Yoruichi said. She stared at a cupboard the door was open a little and several severed arms poked out.

"I see three left arms there, Yoruichi" Nel said. Yoruichi swallowed and risked opening the cupboard fully. Upon opening it seven heads rolled out along with various legs and arms. "Holy crap!" Nel said. Yoruichi looked at Nel. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Nel, he's behind you!" She shouted. Nel turned quickly but she was too slow. He struck her over the head with a baseball bat. "Fuck" Yoruichi said raising her gun. Grantz threw something in and dived out the way of Yoruichi firing her gun. She took a step back and saw what he threw. A grenade!

She barely had time to register that it wasn't a frag grenade but a flash bang before it went off. With an impossibly loud noise both her sight and hearing were robbed instantly. She stumbled around trying to keep her balance. How amateur! Then there was an impact on the back of her head and everything went black…

Yoruichi eventually came to with the sound of music. She listened before opening her eyes. Her head throbbed and her arms were tied. She sat on the ground with what felt like a metal pipe at her back which her hands were tied around. "I know you're awake" said Grantz effeminate voice. Yoruichi opened her eyes and looked at him. They were in some kind of bar in a ship, Grantz sat on a bar stool looking at her. The bar he sat by was blood-stained and was littered with bloody bones and bits of flesh. Nel was beside her, tied to a similar pipe. "Great" Yoruichi muttered "you're an elusive man"

"Aren't I just?" He said chuckling "does it annoy you that you stood not three feet from me two days ago?"

"That was a crafty move" she said "a flashbang?"

"I know" He said "but you're not the average woman, what shade would you say your skin was?" he seemed to be comparing her to Dulux paint testers "I'd say in-between brown ochre and a nice golden brown"  
"Believe it or not I took the time to get my exact skin colour. It's Red 163 Green 119 and Blue 80" he scribbled it down

"Yes, well" he said "I can't have my girlfriends face being a different colour form her body"

"Oh come on!" Yoruichi snapped "is this why you're doing this?"

"Pretty much" he said "I want to build a perfect girlfriend, one who doesn't bitch or moan"

"And you want my…face?"

"Yes" He said

"All things considered" Yoruichi said smiling "I'm taking that as a compliment"

"In fact" he said "I might just use your entire head, you won't look the same if I stretch your face over some other bitch's skull"

"No" Yoruichi said "I guess I won't"

"Alright" he said "I might as well go and get my arms, they have to go on soon"

"How many parts have you got?"

"I just need the head and legs and I'll be done" he said "although, I had a peak at Nel's sweet, sweet cunt and I think I might use hers instead" Yoruichi glanced at Nel who was still unconscious. He laughed and shrugged "who knew she'd hidden such a delicious surprise beneath that outfit" he stared at Yoruichi "you didn't taste too bad either" Yoruichi felt her blood run cold, a feeling that was becoming annoyingly frequent.

"You motherfucker" Yoruichi said struggling against the bonds

"Oh ho ho" He chuckled "I remember when Ulquiorra killed your mom…damn it was brutal"

"What?" Yoruichi stared at him, she couldn't describe the feeling in her gut, it was the first time she'd ever felt like this

"I was there" he said "your dad Ryuu decided to fuck with Aizen-sama, big mistake, as a warning he ordered Ulquiorra to take her head clean off right in front of him" he cackled maniacally "you should've seen his face, they were all there" he pointed at Nel "she was there, Grimmjow was there"

"You're lying" Yoruichi said "Nel couldn't have…"

"Credit where credit is due she did try to talk Ulquiorra out of it but Nnoitora and I thought it's be a good idea to split her head open again so we did"

"So Nel tried to save her?"

"Pretty much" Grantz stared at her "she failed, miserably but not before ripping Nnoitora's eye right out of his skull…with her bare hand. We dropped her in the pacific, we were super surprised when we learnt she'd survived and she dodged our assassination attempts expertly, we couldn't touch her" he prodded Yoruichi "imagine how Nel felt going to sleep next to you every night knowing she couldn't save your mother, knowing that if she told you you'd try to kill Aizen and thus lose your life too" he kicked Nel making her twitch "truly pathetic, she should have ripped your insides out when she had the chance"

"I'll kill you" Yoruichi said. She'd never felt rage this bad, her body quivered with fury "I'll pull you apart with my bare hands"

"Whoa scary" he laughed "now I need to give a young lady a hand…or two" he cackled again and walked to the door "whilst I was licking you out…I noticed a few hidden compartments in your coat…I had fun looking for all your little tricks…is a shame you never hid any inside your body…I checked anyway but…" he sighed with fake misery "I never found any goodies"

"You cut me open?" Yoruichi said trying to feel for any scar she did feel a little…uncomfortable

"No, you idiot" He said "I checked all you orifices"

"I literally will kill you in the worst possible way"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" He said boredly "I don't care. One more thing" he said "scream all you want, I've sound proofed this room"

"You think of everything don't you?" Yoruichi mocked

"Yes I do" He said then he was gone closing the door behind him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" Yoruichi said banging her head again the pole. She scanned the room, on the bar there was her phone and her coat. Both were useful but miles away "Why does this shit happen to me!" Yoruichi said. "Nel wake up!" Nel didn't stir; she merely drooled and made a strange noise. "You've gone into child mode…great, just fan-fucking-tastic"

She kicked a barstool so hard it went soaring to the other side of the room and bounced off the wall and skidded across the bar striking her phone and sending that flying off the bar and skidding across the floor to her feet. "Thank you god, I'll never close the door on a Jehovah's Witness again!" Her phone was old…she'd actually owned it since 2004 it was a black Motorolla 'Razr' she'd never saw much of a reason to buy a new phone, this one still worked and did what a phone was designed for. She edged the phone into her hands and scowled as a new problem showed its ugly head. She groaned "How the hell am I supposed to know who I am phoning!" She screamed. She flipped it open and pressed the contacts button. She knew how to get to that bit. "Okay" She said she pressed the down button about ten times "hopefully this is someone in Seireitei…please be Ryo or dad!" She hit dial and waited for five seconds "Whoever this is" She yelled "I am trapped in the Docklands, I do not know which boat it is but judging by the size of it it's the biggest" she could hear the faint voice of the person she'd called, she couldn't make it out "Listen, if you're not from Seireitei phone my dad or Ryo if you are Ryo or my dad…come and get me I haven't much time he's gonna kill me!" She said "make haste!" she hung up…

***Change***

Hinamori sat on a waiting area chair. Soifon was doing well; she was a strangely resilient girl. "So" Toshiro said to her "do you want coffee or something?"

"Sure" She said smiling. She caught a tiny tinge of redness on Toshiro's cheeks. He seemed to be doing that a lot, she wondered what it meant. There was a crash and a rattle from Soifon's room. "What was that?" She said. The door burst open and Soifon staggered out. Her face grim and determined. "Soifon what are you doing?" Hinamori put her hand on her

"Get off me" Soifon snapped slapping her hand. She pushed another doctor out of the way.

"What's happened why are you wearing Scrubs, get changed into your bed dress and get to bed" Hinamori said

"Fuck off" Soifon snapped "I've gotta be somewhere"

"If you won't get back to bed I'll force you" she said. She felt the rage of being trampled on by everyone finally being realised. She grabbed Soifon who easily slipped her and punched her…she was unconscious before she hit the ground. Soifon's face remained steely. She shoved a set of doors open. Toshiro could only stare as Soifon, the woman who was inches from brutal death only ten hours ago walked out of the room. "Don't worry Yoruichi" She said, her phone was crushed in her hand "I'll save you"

***End of chapter Nine!***

**Stars…I'm using stars instead of brackets now…stars are cool. Reviews always appreciated!**


	10. Chapter 10: Suzumebachi

**NOTE: in this Nel will be speaking with a lisp so any misspelled words where 'S' is replaced with a 'th' the th is said like through and thought and not like the or though.**

In the parking lot of Yonbantai Hospital there was a loud shattering of glass as an eighteen year old girl smashed her fist through the window of a BMW. Soifon knew how to drive, even though she didn't have a licence, she'd briefly worked for a man who bought stolen cars and it was her job to steal them. She lost this job after the man was arrested.

She unlocked the door through the window and sat in the car. Leaning over under the steering wheel she used a scalpel she'd stolen to open out the wires which lurked behind a flimsy bit of plastic. She cut two wires and connected them, making the ignition activate. The car grumbled to life and Soifon wasted no time accelerating out of the car park. She would save Yoruichi; it was the very least she could do.

Yoruichi had given her life a little bit of meaning, something to aim for. Was she in love with Yoruichi as well? Maybe so…no there was no _maybe_ in the equation, the feeling had been slumbering within her gut since the plane ride. Now it had been awoken by Yoruichi's confession, it burned bright and powerful. She couldn't allow herself to let Yoruichi die, not now, not when she only just discovering how she felt about her. "Damn it" Soifon said punching the steering wheel. She could feel herself starting to get delirious.

"I hoped I wouldn't have to use this" She said pulling a syringe from the pocket of her stolen scrubs. The Syringe had a label on it…Epinephrine.

***Change***

Yoruichi bobbed her head back and forth "Well I know that you're in love with him 'cause I saw you dancin' in the gym" Yoruichi sang along with the radio "you both kicked off your shoes man I dig those rhythm and blues. I was a lonely teenage bronkin' buck with a pink carnation and a pickup truck" this was literally the only thing she could do whilst she waited for help "but I knew I was out of luck the day the music died! And I was singin' bye bye Miss American Pie, drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry"

"You're a bad signing" Nel said staring at her with wide childlike eyes

"I'd like to see you do better and you need to work on the grammar there" Yoruichi said "any bright ideas, because all you've done since you woke up is complain that you need a pee and sing nursery rhymes?"

"Don be critisin'" Nel said nodding at her "Nel thinkth we thould pertend to be in love with Gantsy and try to seduthe him"

"I don't think that'll work" Yoruichi said "and you're supposed to be a kid, don't be using language like that!"

"Language like what?" Nel said "I th-till remember all my vocablulary but I act like a child!"

"What's with the lisp to!?"

"I don't have a lithp" Nel said "I want Candithe!" She wailed

"This is gonna be a long day" Yoruichi said

"You're mean" Nel said "I'm glad I dumped you"

"I hear you were at my mother's death" Yoruichi said, Nel stared at her with wide eyes

"Uh…Nel wath there but Nel tried to thtop them but they wouldn't lithten to Nel and then they hit Nel over the head and now I turn into kid Nel" She said like a child giving a bullshit excuse as to why the cookie jar was empty.

"I know" Yoruichi said "why didn't you tell me?"

"Nel thought you'd go do thomthing thilly and get killdeed" Nel said nodding profusely "altho Yoruichi'th daddy thaid that I can't tell Yoruichi or the'll be upthet"

"It makes annoying sense" Yoruichi said, she wanted to cross her arms but she was still tied.

"It wath a long and dark dethember and from the rooftopth is remember there was thnow…white thnow!" Nel sang happily the previous conversation nothing but a distant memory.

"I'm back!" Grantz said

"Wah!" Nel exclaimed "Yoruit-thi! He'th the killer!"

"…what?" Yoruichi stared at her

"It'th him" She said "He'th the killer, I made the deducut-thun mythelf!"

"Just when I thought acting like a child was the lowest you could go" Yoruichi said. It was quite fascinating actually; she'd never spent more than five minutes in Nel's company whist she was in child mode.

"Oh my" he said walking close to Nel "why is she acting like that?"

"After Gantzy hit Nel over the head Nel'th been turnin' into a kid" Nel said

"It was Nnoitora that hit you over the head" Grantz said scowling "that's embarrassing"

"I thought it's very fascinating" Yoruichi said "it's one of the rarest psychological defects I've ever seen"

"I don't care for psychology" Grantz said.

He pulled out and gun and with a loud bang he shot Nel in the head. There was another sound like a clang of metal hitting metal. Yoruichi stared horrified as blood exploded out of her head. Yoruichi stared at a trickle of blood made its way down the valley that the scar on her face provided. Nel…her friend…her lover…dead. Yoruichi's heart beat fast and she started to hyperventilate. "Nel" She whispered "Nel" said louder "NEL!" She screamed at the top of her voice…

***Change***

Soifon stopped walking and looked behind her…was that a scream? There was a gunshot too but it was so sudden she never had the chance to try to pinpoint where it came from. Soifon changed direction and half jogged held stumbled toward the voice; an old sailing ship took up most of the eastern side of the yard, it was huge! She quickly plucked up the courage to climb in…damn that was high! She climbed the ladder. Her heart was beating fast it hurt with every beat, her lungs burned with every breath her stomach hurt with every…uh…digestion?

Getting to the top she looked over the side. She felt delirious again. She hated heights. She turned and crept into the interior of the ship. It smelt musty and slightly…death-y. She continued to creep through the ships interior, she tried to keep close to the walls, her father had once said there were less creaking floorboards closer to the wall. Now she could hear crying, she edged closer to the sound. Was it coming from…that chest there? Soifon opened up the chest. Candice lay in the foetal position with her hands and feet bound, she sobbed quietly. "Hey!" Soifon whispered. She stared at Soifon, confused.

"What…are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Yoruichi"

"I came here looking for Nel" she said "but that creep got the drop on me and now I'm in this place"

"Let me cut these" she used her scalpel to cut the rope. This Scalpel was becoming useful, she might keep it.

"Thanks" She said rubbing her wrists. She emerged from the chest and hugged Soifon. Pain seared up her chest and she groaned. "I thought I was gonna die" she said

"That's great, get off me" Soifon said pushing her back "goddammit; I've got a big ass scar on my chest"

"Sorry" Candice said "I hope Nel's okay"

"C'mon" Soifon said "let's keep searching"

They continued their stealth mission. This ship really was huge! It took them at least five minutes to find the room. Grantz sat on a bar stool fiddling with what looked like a severed female arm. It wasn't Yoruichi's Soifon though thankfully. She peeked in the door. Yoruichi was tied to a pole, she sobbed uncontrollably. Soifon wondered what was wrong with her…besides the obvious, Yoruichi didn't seem like the type of woman to let getting captur…oh…Nel was dead. Her head hung limply forward with blood slowly trickling from it. Candice made a noise, too loud. Grantz turned and grabbed something. He pulled the pin quickly and threw it. "Run!" Yoruichi screamed behind him. Soifon dived behind a barrel and covered her ears and closed her eyes. Whatever he threw wasn't a traditional explosive. It erupted with a noise so loud it almost deafened her ever with her ears covered. Her vision was replaced with a white abyss.

"Oh my" Soifon heard Grantz say over the drone of her damaged hearing "how did you escape?" With an exultant thought Soifon realised he hadn't noticed her. There was a scuffle and Soifon peeked out from behind the barrels. Grantz had grabbed Candice and slammed her head against the door frame. "Kids these days" he muttered. He dragged Candice into the room. Soifon slowly crept out from behind the barrel. Luckily she seemed to have avoided most of the devastating effects of whatever that thing was judging by how Candice reacted.

She peeked through the door again. Grantz tied an unconscious Candice to the same pole as Nel. This guy really was a sadist. Soifon stared at Nel…did she just…move? No, she'd obviously been shot in the head…no one survives that. Grantz stood with his back to Soifon admiring his handiwork. Soifon crept into the room.

There were no more kiddie games, she was going to use this scalpel and slice his throat. "Hey!" Yoruichi said to Grantz. She'd seen Soifon and seemed to be trying to keep Grantz attention away from her "do you think you'll get away with this?" She said

"Really?" He said…just a bit closer "that's so cliché of you…" closer… "almost as if you're trying to keep my attention from something" his head turned slightly. Damn it! Soifon lunged with the knife. He dodged it easily and landed a devastating punch into her sternum. Pain roared throughout her entire body. She was forced to cough as she staggered back. Blood poured from her mouth. "How careless" He said. Soifon's strength left her and she fell to her knees. Yoruichi stared at her, her tear-filled golden eyes wide with shock and worry. Crap! Soifon thought depressed, she really was a failure.

"Too bad" He said "I give you a 7…for effort"

"Don't you dare!" Yoruichi snapped as he raised his gun and pointed it at Soifon's head. "Oh who's gonna…oh" he groaned. His eyes glazed over.

Soifon stared…what was happening? After a second she noticed a golden blade sticking through his chest. Behind him she noticed another man standing. Kurotsuchi stood grinning. "It seems you didn't consider me to be a threatening factor Mr Grantz" He said grinning still

"You…bastard" he groaned he fell to his knees.

"If I had a nickel for every time I've been called that" he chuckled "hmm…" he stared at Soifon "You're bleeding…here let me help you"

Grantz groaned on the ground. "No" Soifon said backing away "get the fuck away from me"

"Oh come now" He said "we're friends now"

"Yoruichi help" Soifon said cutting her ropes. Yoruichi stood up and stared at Grantz...

"Did you bring a syringe?" Yoruichi asked Kurotsuchi. Kurotsuchi opened his lab coat.

"I've got all my syringes here" he said

"I brought Epinephrine in case my heart got too bad"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "he just injected himself with it"

"No!" Kurotsuchi snapped "Epinephrine counteracts my paralysis"

There was another gunshot and Kurotsuchi staggered back clutching his shoulder. "You can't kill me" Grantz wailed maniacally "I'm immortal"

Soifon jumped forward. She'd promised her father she'd never use this. She'd promised on the life of Lucky. Lucky was dead now and everyone's life was in the balance. As Grantz stood up Soifon rammed her index and middle finger into his spine and at the same time ramming the index and middle finger of her other hand into his neck.

He stopped moving…he stared at her blankly. His hand loosened and he dropped the gun. Yoruichi and Kurotsuchi both looked slightly bewildered. "My father taught me this…I vowed never to use it on another human being" she said "Nigeki Kessatsu"

He fell to his knees again and fell flat on his face. "How interesting" Kurotsuchi said "you stimulate his spinal cord and then use a pressure point technique and overload his brain killing him"

"To learn such a thing at such a young age" Yoruichi said

"It was easy" Soifon said "my father specialised in pressure points. He taught me where all the good ones were and showed me that if you hit both of them within a certain time of each other the person would die"

"Freeze!" the room was suddenly full of police officers.

"WAH!" Nel squealed from beside Yoruichi. Soifon stared at her "he'th gonna thoot me!"

"Y…you're alive?" Yoruichi stared at her as well

"…I'm alive?" Nel said staring back. She blinked several times. "Of course I'm alive" She said her voice sounding more mature "I had a steel plate put in my head after I got scalped by Nnoitora, the bullet deflected off of it"

"Oh thank god" Yoruichi said untying her and Candice "I didn't want to bury another member of the group for at least another fifty years. A tall black man sauntered in. "Mayuri Kurotsuchi, you're under arrest for the…unwilling dissection of some fifty Seireitei civilians" he looked down at Grantz "someone bag this man up" he barely glanced at Soifon and Yoruichi "you've acted on your own, Detective Odelswanck" He said to her "I will push for disciplinary measures"

"Okay" Nel said looking at Candice who was hugging her and refusing to let go. Safe, at last.

Ten minutes later Soifon sat in the back of an ambulance. Yoruichi sat beside her. "That was close, Soifon" Yoruichi said "why didn't you go and find a gun or something at least?"

"I was worried, I didn't know when he was going to kill you" she said. Soifon watched as the police started to frantically run around. "What's happening?"

"Dunno" Yoruichi said she flicked a radio on beside her.

"All units be on the lookout for escaped detainee Mayuri Kurotsuchi, 5'8 with black and gold face paint"

"Oh my" said a man with short blue hair looking in the van "it seems he's escaped"

"Do you think I don't know what you look like without your face paint?" Yoruichi said

"Okay you got me" he said "I was merely coming to let you know Aizen won the election" he chuckled as he walked "they say it was a landslide"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said "I can't imagine what he'll do now"

"I don't care" Soifon said leaning on Yoruichi "I'm just glad this is over"

"I know" Yoruichi said "I can guarantee that the cases are usually better than this"

"Good" Soifon said risking holding Yoruichi's hand. Yoruichi caressed the back of Soifon's hand with her thumb. "I think…" Soifon chuckled "now's the time to resume our practice kiss"

"Oh?" Yoruichi said smiling slightly "you've came to a master to learn"

"Shut up and kiss me" Soifon said grabbing Yoruichi and pulling her toward her.

She embraced Yoruichi's supple lips with a moan. Her first time kissing a woman was truly an unforgettable experience. It filled her with warmth and happiness. Her heart no longer seemed to hurt. Yoruichi started to immerse her deeper by sliding her tongue into her mouth. Soifon found herself moaning again. She caressed Yoruichi with her hands. "We're going to the hospital now!" Someone said banging on the side of the van. Soifon pulled away, a small string of saliva struggled futilely to keep them connected. Yoruichi chuckled and wiped it away. She leaned over and closed the door. Before the door fully closed Soifon's heart skipped a beat…there! Leaning on the hood of a car. Bambietta Basterbine grinned watching her. NO!

***Change***

Aizen smiled in his office and opened the $2400 bottle of champagne he'd been savouring for this occasion. He poured himself a glass. His phone rang. With a slight scowl he answered it "I thought I said no calls" he said testily

"Don't you command me dickless!" The Mastermind snapped

"I didn't know it was you, sorry" he chuckled. The Mastermind was a difficult person to get a read on, they were so volatile and disrespectful but they knew what was what. It was The Masterminds Idea to make Grantz go insane. "Now for stage two?"

"The Hogyoku?"

"Yes" Aizen said "you said you want five percent of my rewards"

"Something like that, Aizen I'm a busy little bee so I'm gonna keep this brief" The Mastermind stopped and seemed to speak to someone else "No!" They snapped "I don't want a crappy microwave burger…Gimmie a pie or something from the takeout down the road…do it…I love you" The Mastermind was so unprofessional! "Anyway, yes Hogyoku, I do not particularly care about it, I more care about something else Ryuu Shihouin has, and I helped you get into office GET IT FOR ME!" The Mastermind shouted.

Aizen stared at his champagne and listened at the empty dial tone. He dropped his phone back into its cradle. The Mastermind will slip up sometime and he'll be right there to crucify him. But the Hogyoku…if he owned it, he could hold the entire world at ransom and as pretentious as The Mastermind was he'd never survive Aizen's full power when he was a god amongst men!

*End of Chapter Ten*

**One of the shortest chapters yet but a lot has went down. This is the end of the first…'Arc' and I may go on a little hiatus for a week or two…I've got nothing better to do than write these so a new one should be too long. Also I'll list all songs mentions or referenced in the first arc below:**

**Chapter one:**

**None…**

**Chapter Two:**

**Toshiro saying he was going to 'shoot up the joint' is a reference to Pumped up kicks by Foster the People (it's also a pun on the Yoruichi PI 2 on ShiroIV which had Toshiro wearing girls' trainers)**

**Soifon referring to the police as 'Filth' is a reference to Lily Allen's song LDN**

**Chapter Three:**

**None**

**Chapter Four:**

**Kukaku and Kisuke at the beginning is a kind of reference to Pure Morning by Placebo. And if you properly listen to the song it'll give away something that'll happen later on in the story. As their relationship is summed up by the song.**

**Bambietta at the end is obviously singing Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd**

**Chapter Five**

**Where Ryuu says Kisuke saw Yoruichi as a 'safe bet' is a reference to Amy Winehouse Back to Black**

**At the end of Chapter five when Bambietta is talking to Gisselle, that is a reference to Len, Steal my Sunshine, it has to be the version when people talk at the beginning of the song…**

**Chapter Six**

**The…it's not as much as a reference but it was made with this song in mind. The forest path and meadow scenes are kind of refereeing to No Cars go by The Arcade Fire **

**The picture on the wall's inscription was a reference to The Chain by Fleetwood Mac**

**Ryuu speaking to Aizen near the end is Just Run by Digital Summer**

**Chapter Seven**

**Kukaku says Phat Racks…it's a reference to crappy rap…I don't even need to name a song…it's literally all they talk about… or rap about**

**Chapter Eight**

**Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers is mentioned**

**Chapter Nine**

**White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane mentioned**

**Chapter Ten**

**Yoruichi was singing American Pie by Don McLean at the beginning **

**Nel was singing Violet Hill by Coldplay later on**

**Grantz says 'you can't kill me I'm immortal' is a reference to Immortal by Adema **


	11. Chapter 11: Longwei

**Wahaha Hiatus my ass, Hiatuses are only for people with social lives/something better to do than write fanfics I have neither so I'm gonna dive straight in with the second part…**

Ryuu panted slightly as he climbed up a steep dirt path leading up the side of the massive extinct volcano in the dead centre of Rukon called the Soul Palace. No worries though, he was almost there. He could even see the little log cabin he was going to. He picked up his pace. It wasn't wise to get caught out here alone.

Upon reaching the cabin he knocked the door. "Who is it?" said a male

"Ryuu" he replied

"So?"

"Ryuu" he persisted

"Humph" came the reply. The door unlocked and opened. The slim Chinese man regarded him with a tinge of caution. "What do you want?"

"Regards to a certain…Hogyoku" Ryuu said

"I've already disposed of it"

"In the hands of your daughter, what kind of loving father leaves a gem in the hands of his only daughter that is worth trillions of dollars and that practically every crazed crime syndicate is looking for?"

"Shaolin is out of the way" Longwei replied "no one will find it there"

"Is that right?" Ryuu handed him a newspaper from five months ago. On the front cover was Aizen posing with Soifon who sat in a hospital bed. Longwei stared at the picture.

"When was this taken?"  
"About five months ago" Ryuu said "no harm has befell young Soifon, she's found safety beneath Yoruichi's wing"

"So you've made her a criminal?"

"For god sake, Longwei are you living under a rock!" he snapped "Yoruichi is a Private Investigator"

"…so she is a criminal?"

"You haven't got any less annoying" he said pushing past him and letting himself in. Cosy he thought looking around.

"Why are you here besides to brag that another Feng is destined to serve beneath a Shihouin?"

"Ah yes" Ryuu smirked "they are…how shall we say…raging dykes with each other"  
"Subtle" Longwei said lighting a stove and putting a kettle over it. "Shaolin has found love in Yoruichi?"

"Yes" Ryuu said "they seem to be quite happy but poor Soifon is catching a hella time at school"

"Soifon?"

"Yes"

"Hmm" Longwei smiled slightly "that was my mother's name"

"Why don't you go to her?" Ryuu said "tell her the truth; tell her that she was thrown out to protect her from her brothers"

"Then she'll ask me why I never left with her"

"Why didn't you?" Ryuu asked, he knew the answer but he wanted to see if Longwei would admit it.

"I…" He stared at the kettle "I thought I could change them, I thought I could pull them from the path of darkness and show them the light…but I failed, I threw Shaolin out and then they got themselves killed not two months later…what a joke"

"Don't be too hard on yourself"

"I even faked my death!" Longwei snapped "if I went to Shaolin she'd probably strangle me"

"You do have that effect on women" Ryuu chuckled "remember when Yuka used to chase you with a frying pan because you didn't like onions"

"I do" Longwei stared longingly at the steam coming from the kettle "dammit" he said putting his head in his hands

"You don't drink?" Ryuu said looking for empty bottles. Longwei showed him a red counter.

"Three years sober" he said "why are you here Ryuu, I'll ask you one more time"

"I'm going to die" Ryuu said

"Big fact" Longwei said "we all die"

"No, soon" Ryuu said "Aizen had found out I don't have the Hogyoku and now he's put a big bull's-eye on my back"

"What's it got to do with me?"

"I want to kill him before he kills me" Ryuu said "I need your help"

"That's tempting" Longwei said "if we kill Aizen he'll no longer be looking for the Hogyoku and thus will no longer be breathing down Shaolin's neck"

"He still doesn't know Shaolin has it" Ryuu said "I've been pushing people into Shaolin, Yamamoto, Ukitake and Kyoraku, Yoruichi, Kuchiki they'll all look after her"

"A Kuchiki protects nothing but the 'Pride of my Clan'" He said doing a rather good impression of Ginrei Kuchiki. He ran his hand through his greying hair. "Consider me on board" he said "I don't know what you expect though Ryuu we'll both be killed"

"Well then" Ryuu grinned and held out his hand "then let's take as many motherfuckers with us as we possibly can"

"Damn I've missed you" Longwei grinned back.

***Change***

Yoruichi let Soifon roll off of her. Her naked body covered in sweat as she panted heavily. "Who knew" Yoruichi said smiling at her "to think I'd get someone as physically fit as you into such a condition"

"You…" Soifon tried to catch her breath "you make me stretch muscles I didn't know I had!"

"Ow" Yoruichi purred rubbing her nose with Soifon's. It'd been five months since Soifon assassinated Grantz. Soifon had been very willing to get intimate with Yoruichi…when they were alone together. For some reason the taunting at school was absolutely shattering her confidence, she never even held Yoruichi's hand in public. Yoruichi had phoned and complained to the school several times but the principal of the school Mr Bach assured Yoruichi that he was doing all he could to stop Bambietta picking on her.

It really hurt watching Soifon in such pain but she'd just have to deal with it for now. Soifon stared at the window. Clouds had rolled in and the rain came down in buckets. They'd decided to take a walk to Yoruichi's tree house at the meadow. Then they had sweaty emotional sex on a futon and after that it rained.  
"Don't you ever worry someone will see us?" Soifon said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…" She indicated at the hatch "there is no real door and both of us are stark naked in a treehouse!"

"No worries" Yoruichi said pulling her into a hug, her soft sweat soaked skin caressed her. "No one knows about this place except you and me…and Ryo, and Shaozu…and Nel…and Kukaku…and my father"

"Stop consoling me" Soifon said "It's not working"

"Don't worry" Yoruichi laughed "if anyone saw us they'd look at my fine ass rather than your bony malnourished curves"

"Way to make a girl feel confident about herself" Soifon said. Yoruichi laughed and pulled her up for another long and wet kiss. "C'mon" Soifon said pulling away "we've got to hand out subpoenas"

"Unbelievable" Yoruichi laughed "imagine if the RDPD found out we'd been bunking off our duties to fuck in a treehouse"

"The best way to bunk off I think" Soifon smiled picking up her underwear. Under Yoruichi's demand Soifon had actually gained a touch of style….not much though, rather than what the British called a 'Chav' she'd now adopted a sort of 90's grunge style. Baggy jeans, long-sleeved t-shirts with different coloured short sleeved ones on top were her usual look. It wasn't too bad, it suited her somehow. She'd also taken up skating.

If she wasn't working with Yoruichi or at School she was zipping around the skate park on Inuzuri, which was the third most derelict area behind Kusajishi and Zaraki but the Kotowari Centre was also here so Soifon wasn't too far from home. Soifon still lived in the Kotowari centre. Yoruichi and Soifon had got intimate a few times there but people stared…no…ogled was a better word. Soifon's chronic social awkwardness was crippling their relationship though. "Get dressed!" Soifon snapped.

"I wanna be naked" Yoruichi moaned "clothes are so…eh" she made a gesture.

"Grow up" Soifon said throwing her top at her.

"Whatever" Yoruichi laughed "gloomy guts"

"You're so laid back" Soifon said "if you were any more so you'd be horizontal"

"I am horizontal" Yoruichi said "do you like this top, I think it covers my cleavage too much"

"I don't particularly care" Soifon said "I'll see you naked anyway so you're not showing them off to me, you're showing them off to other people who'll not be sleeping with you…hopefully"

"I like to at least hint at being a bit of a femme fatale, flirt with me and pay the price" Yoruichi said

"Suit yourself" Soifon said "just …never wear that onesie in the public eye"

"Wha…" Yoruichi stared at her "I can't wear it outside…what about my snuggie?"

"What about it?"

"I've worn it outside lots of times!" She said

"You've…worn…a snuggie…outside?" Soifon said staring at her. Yoruichi grinned at her "once I wore it outside and underneath I was but ass naked"

"You're unbelievable" Soifon said "do you ever get embarrassed?"

"Not really" Yoruichi said "the only time I was embarrassed was when Kisuke tried to have sex with me and missed ramming his erect penis into my stomach"

"I don't want to think about Kisuke or his 'erect penis'"

"Why not?" Yoruichi teased "is it making you go straight again?"

"Hey!" Soifon cheeks reddened and she jumped on the spot "there are more manly men than Urahara to break my sugar rush"

"You're adorable!" Yoruichi said "I could just pinch your little cheeks"

Yoruichi eventually put her clothes on and then refused to leave the treehouse until it's stopped raining. "Y'know" Yoruichi said bumping into her with her hips "we could totally make love again"

"Just wait until the rain stops" Soifon said. Yoruichi crossed her arms.

"You're no fun" She replied

"I don't care" Soifon said "if I am why don't you dump me"

"Because you're the best I've ever had" Yoruichi replied. Soifon stopped staring out the window and looked at her.

"I'm the best you've ever had?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said. She wasn't lying either. Soifon had something that all the other women she'd slept with didn't…affection. Even Nel was a distant lover but Soifon, she liked contact and closeness. Yoruichi sat down on the futon. "Soifon?"

"What?"

"Have you ever taken drugs?"

"Uh…" Soifon shrugged "some"

"Like?"

"Ermm" Soifon said making a gesture that made Yoruichi think she'd taken a lot "I've smoked weed….took cocaine, heroin, meth, LSD, solvents, Magic Mushrooms and ecstasy"

"Look at you, quite the regular Marshall Mathers aren't ya?"

"What about you?"

"Much the same" Yoruichi said "I never touched Heroin though"

"So you've taken contraband too?"

"I used to be addicted to cocaine" Yoruichi said "back when I was going to raves every night and letting any guy or girl I met finger me in the bathrooms"

"Your history is dark" Soifon said "I'd never admit I was such a skank"

"When I finally pulled myself out of it I was ashamed of myself too" Yoruichi said remembering many cold showers spent sobbing like a five year old. "But I gave up conning people, bought the office, Nel split up with me after four months, worked to make a clean reputation for three years and then I hired you"

"You got up to a lot as a kid"

"Well" Yoruichi said "when I was sixteen I met Kukaku and became rivals, at seventeen I was going out with Kisuke and Kukaku was my best friend. When it became clear that Kisuke didn't actually love me I kind of fell off the beaten track. Drugs, sex, parties until I was about twenty two. Then I gave it up and went with Nel who'd just been kicked from the Espada. Literally on my twenty third birthday Nel broke it off and then three years later here we are" Yoruichi chuckled "there is my life's story"

"Okay"

"I wanna hear yours" Yoruichi said

"Well" Soifon sat next to Yoruichi "when I nine my father took me and my brothers to America. Between then and my eleventh things were going relatively well. Then my father got all depressed and disjointed. My bothers picked on me for being quite sickly, I was weak, I couldn't even speak properly when I was a kid" Soifon shook her head "Shaozu, who'd looked after me left, he never gave me a note or told me he was going, he just smiled once and said he was going to the shops, he never came back"

"Sucks" Yoruichi said patting her shoulder

"After that things went from bad to worse, once I was about thirteen my brothers kept bringing their asshole friends over to have their way with me…I was raped for the first time on my fourteenth birthday, then my father threw me out. I met Ggio, he was eighteen and I was fourteen…you could see where this was going"

"Was he abusive?"

"Yes" Soifon said "he forced me to do a lot of degrading things, just my luck I got stuck with Ggio, he was exactly the same as my brothers, he even brought his friends over to do me…I was raped for the second, third, fourth…fifth and sixth times in my own bed"

"You never said you'd been raped"

"I didn't feel like saying" Soifon said. She had pulled Yoruichi's arm over her and she shivered. "I stabbed Ggio and ran out of the house" Soifon said "I just couldn't take it anymore. That was nearly a year ago"

"And now you're here" Yoruichi said "with friends and someone who loves you very, very much"

"I'm grateful" Soifon said "if I died tomorrow I'd be happy that I got to spend at least a few days of my worthless life in your arms"

"Don't be self-loathing" Yoruichi said "you're a good person that a ton of crap landed on, there's nothing worthless about you"

"It's stopped raining" Soifon said "c'mon"

"Okay" Yoruichi giving her a reassuring smile. Soifon smiled weakly back. Sometimes Yoruichi felt like the true Soifon was still locked away underneath her quiet, staunchy exterior. She was turning out to be a tough nut to crack indeed. Soifon climbed out of the Treehouse and Yoruichi followed.

Her phone rang as she walked. "Hello?" She said flipping it open.

"Yoruichi?" Said her father

"What's up?"

"I don't have much time I suppose"

"You're worrying me a bit" Yoruichi said. She hadn't heard his voice like this since her mother had died.

"I'm sorry, Yoruichi" he said "I didn't mean for any of this to happen but it has…goodbye"

"What?" Yoruichi said to the empty dial tone. "What was that about?" Yoruichi said to herself.

"What did he say?" Soifon asked

"Just that he was sorry about something"

"He never said what?"

"Nope" Yoruichi said, she looked at the ground "I hope I'm not gonna have to bury another parent soon"

***Change***

Kukaku sighed as she dried a glass. That was all she did these days, just dried glasses and sold people down the river. She wished she was out there, in the field, in the action. Yoruichi and Nel were fighting serial killers and crazed scientists and Kukaku was here…drying glasses. Kisuke was away somewhere, Tessai had returned from his trip to Iran and then he and Kisuke left again. Leaving the shop in Toshiro's capable hands. That kid was creepily good at anything he did.

The door opened and Grimmjow sauntered in. Kukaku almost widened her eyes. He'd disappeared five months ago and completely ignored her info. "Grimmjow" She said

"Yo woman" He said "I forgot to get Ulquiorra's location from you"

"You still haven't gave me my money and you helping Yoruichi was a joke, she did most of the work herself"

"What are you talking about?" He snapped "I got the info about the scientist?"

"So?"

"What do you want?"

"Eh?" Kukaku said

"I don't have any money" he said "I spent the last of my funds running around Russia fleeing from freekin Barragan"

"Oh?"

"Once he uses Pesquisa it's next to impossible to escape him, lucky he didn't know about that ex-CCCP base I hid in"

"What is Pesquisa?"

"It's…" he stopped and grinned at her "I ain't telling you nothing"

"I'll trade you"  
"Now you're speaking my language" he said "you first"

"Ulquiorra Cifer currently lives in one of the many hillside condos overlooking the city" She said "he, as you probably know, still works for Aizen and lets both Coyote Starrk and a girl called Lilynette stay at his condo"

"Which number is it?"

"Guess"

"…four?"

"Spot on" Kukaku said "now, Pesquisa?"

"Pesquisa is a virus"

"A virus?"

"Yes a computer virus, facial recognition, it infects the entire world…" he shook his head slightly "and whoever Barragan is looking for he just has to put their face into Pesquisa and send it all over the world, no matter where you are Pesquisa will find you, cameras on cell phones, CCTV, webcams and even google street view"

"Is there any way to counter it?"

"Not really, besides walking around with a mask or something on or at least going somewhere that doesn't have cameras or an internet connection"

"Is Barragan the only person with access to this Pesquisa?"

"No" Grimmjow said "all the Espada are allowed to use it, Ulquiorra is the best at using it since he helped write the programme"

"Who else helped write it?"

"Aizen and your boyfriend"

"Kisuke?"

"Yes" Grimmjow chuckled "Aizen basically bastardised a programme Kisuke Urahara wrote called Tsuppane"  
"That's impossible" Kukaku said "Urahara created Tsuppane with Benehime, no one else in the universe has access to that computer and its operating system"  
"That's why he bastardised it you retard" Grimmjow said "he couldn't use it without Benehime so he got into its coding and _made _it able to work on other computers"

"I see" Kukaku said "what now…I wanna know why you wanna kill Ulquiorra"

"He stole something from me" He said

"What would that be?"

"Pantera"

"What's that?"

"Never you mind" he snapped "it's…important to me"

"Whatever" Kukaku said "…do you want something?"

"No" He scowled at her "just…Aizen will take out all his enemies in one fell swoop…maybe you'd better distance yourself from that chocolate skinned kitty you play with"

"Funny" Kukaku said "I thought she played with me"

"Whatever" Grimmjow said walking away "have you got a black dress?"

"Somewhere" Kukaku said remembering Kaien's funeral

"Yoruichi will want you to come to the funeral"

"Who's funeral?"

"You'll see"

***Change***

"There is a strange freedom" Ryuu said to Longwei "knowing you're about to die"

"There is" he replied. Longwei loosely held a black katana. Ryuu had its sister; a pure white Nodachi. They'd used these blades more than guns, they'd probably killed more people than most guns had. They both sat in the penthouse suite of one of the many five star hotels in Seireitei. It was clear the Espada were after them, they'd already found a bomb in Ryuu's car, a sniper had taken a few shots at them and they were chased by an Apache gunship.

"They sure are taking their time" Longwei said pouring himself his nineteenth cup of tea. Chinese and British, he was bred for tea drinking! The door banged.

"Housekeeping" a voice said. Ryuu grinned and pushed his sword out of its sheath with his thumb.

"Whoever kills the most wins" Ryuu said

"Agreed"

Ryuu took a deep breath "Come right in then!"

Massacre.

***End of Chapter Eleven***


	12. Chapter 12: Loss

**Another Short chapter folks, but I thought I might as well put this bit in its own section…if I am as good a writer as I hope I am…you'd better get some Kleenex and save it for the next chapter too…**

The Espada were strangely quiet as they barrelled down the inter-city highway in Rukon. It was only natural; they'd just gone through the toughest battle of their lives. Ryuu Shihouin didn't go down without a fight, which was to be expected. Espada's number 6, 9, 10 and Tosen had all been killed. Luppi Antenor, Espada number six had had his oesophagus ripped from his neck by the unnamed Chinese man. Aaroniero Arruruerie, Espada number nine had been thrown from the window; it had taken precious minutes to pick up all the pieces of his body. Yammy Llargo had had his arm cut off by the Chinese man but he had a sword similar to Mayuri Kurotsuchi but instead of paralysing him he broke down into some sort of fit and started flailing around. Coyote shot him in the head to stop him punching his fellow wounded Espada to death. Ryuu Shihouin had taken Kaname Tosen's life by slicing him cleanly in half straight down the middle.

Harribel grimaced as she looked at the bodies of the dead Espada. They'd had to pick up the bodies in case Nel at the Police force found them and connected them to Aizen. The remaining Espada hadn't got away injury free either. Harribel herself had a broken jaw, and most of her left teeth were shattered or missing. Damn that Chinese mad had one hell of a kick.

Zommari wasn't here, he couldn't risk his title for this fight, she didn't blame him, he wasn't strong enough anyway, he'd just be in the way like Luppi and Yammy were. Ulquiorra calmly held his stomach and intestines in with his arm. Ryuu went for Ulquiorra first, it was a mistake. He'd taken three shots in the chest from Starrk but it still didn't stop him bifurcating Tosen and throwing Arruruerie out of the window. He eventually went down after Tier herself plunged her sword through his heart. Then that Chinese man kicked her, sliced off Yammy's arm, ripped Luppi's throat out, broke Nnoitra's arm with another kick and finally fell to Stark who shot him once in the head.

"Damn it" Baraggan muttered nursing a slash wound above his left eye "who was that Chinese guy!"

"Dunno" Starrk said. He was completely unharmed and merely relaxed with his eyes closed. Tier pulled another ruined tooth from her mouth. At least she was still alive and the job was done. Gin drove the van. He sang along happily to 'Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and The Waves', the van even slightly weaved to the beat of the song.

"I hope you don't get carsick, Ulquiorra" Gin said over his shoulder "because it'll all be squirting out of your stomach"

"I think he's lost consciousness" Nnoitra said waving his hand in front of Ulquiorra

"I'd lose consciousness too if I had to pick my guts up off the floor" Gin laughed "I saw those documentaries, do you know how dirty hotels are!"

"You're not funny" Baraggan snapped

"Oh" Gin taunted "you're scary. How are you Tier, lemmie see that award winnin smile of yours…oh wait"

"I might just slice your head right off" Tier said

"I've got a new song" he said pressing the change song button a few times "this should cheer you all up"

"Oh god" Starrk muttered as 'Simply the Best by Tina Turner' blared on the radio.

"It's a classic!" Gin said. "Duh, duh, duh, YOU'RE SIMPLY THE BEST" He wailed

"I wonder what Aizen will say" Nnoitra said "I bet he'll be happily disappointed"

"That's his usual expression" Gin said "do you know how I feel about seeing Aizen?"

"Please don…" Starrk groaned as Gin put 'So Excited by the Pointer Sisters' on.

"I'm so excited…and I just can't hide it"

"I really hate that man" Tier said

"I hope you guys are gonna clean all that deadness up back there" he said "and stick a few air fresheners up, I'm not pointing any fingers, Barragan, but you all stink"

"I think we need some new Espada" Nnoitra said

"We never had this problem when we had OG's like Nel and Grimmjow in the crew" Starrk said

"Do you know what we need" Gin said

"If this is another power ballad I swear to god" Barragan said. It was too late Gin had already put on 'I need a hero by Bonnie Tyler'.

"This is gonna be a long journey" Tier muttered.

***Change***

Nel groaned as she laid eyes on Ryuu Shihouin's lifeless body. She was gonna have to tell Yoruichi about this, she'll cry and Nel will have to hug her…damn it. There was an unnatural amount of blood about. Both men in this room had been shot but these blood splatters looked as if they'd been caused by bladed weapons. Nel picked up a black Katana. The blade was flawless; it'd been made with skill and care. Forensics and photographers milled about looking for any evidence.

Nel picked up a tooth. She inspected it…a left canine. She walked over to Ryuu and briefly checked his mouth…left canine was there. She checked the other man; he too had his left canine. She placed the tooth in a bag. Nel knew the Espada were after Ryuu, he'd told her himself, this tooth belonged to one of them; she might be able to pull Aizen down too.

"I want results for all that blood on my desk by tomorrow" Nel said "…what are you doing, Candice" she stared at Candice who was half under a bed.

"I see something" she said. After a second she emerged holding a USB stick.

"What's this?" She took it from Candice. On the USB was written 'Oken'

"Oken?"

"Strange" Nel said "have you heard the legend about the Oken Key?"

"No" Candice said

"Apparently" Nel said "back when operating systems were just a green list of words a very clever cookie called Longwei Feng made a code…this code was…have you ever seen that episode of Sherlock Holmes where they go looking for a line of code that can unlock anything in the world?"

"Yeah" Candice said

"Apparently that'd already been done" Nel said "The Oken or Oken Keygen can hack any database, firewall, system in the world"

"I call bullshit" Candice said

"Maybe so" Nel said "but this maybe something like that, might as well bag it anyway"

"Let's keep it" Candice said

"Now, now" Nel smiled "we can't keep evidence…unless it's not related to the case"

"Wait" Candice looked at her phone "isn't Soifon's real name Shaolin Feng?"

"I think so…Longwei Feng" Nel shrugged "maybe Feng is like the Smith of China"

"I wish I could do something about Bambietta and Soifon" Candice said "but I leave school in a few months so I can't"

"Too bad she took down all those vids, Soifon could've destroyed her"

"Apparently someone called the Mastermind has one" Candice chuckled

"Oh" Nel laughed "The 'Mastermind' huh"

"Yep" Candice said "What does the Mastermind have planned for them I wonder"  
"I dunno" Nel shrugged "just keep an eye on Bambietta; tell me if she does anything illegal, I'll try to catch her in the act"

"The Stern Ritter also want to take Aizen in" Candice said "They think he'll be very useful"

"If you think about it The Stern Ritter are a bit like Google+"

"How so?"

"Trying to take over things that pose a threat and impose their strict laws onto them" Nel said chuckling "speaking of your after school club I'm being pushed to promote you"

"Who's doing that?"  
"My superior" Nel said "Detective Haschwald"

"Yeah" Candice said "he's 'B'"

"B?"

"Yeah" Candice said looking at the floor "He's the 'Grandmaster' only one person is higher ranked than him"

"Who's that?"

"Dunno" Candice said "I operate directly under Bambietta who works under Haschwald who works under letter 'A' Bambietta knows who he is and refuses to tell us"

"Okay" Nel said nodding "all this speak of Shaolin has got me in the mood for some Bar 9"

"I'll never get over you, Nel" Candice said

"What's wrong with me?"

"You're so imperfect you loop right back round to being the most perfect thing I've ever seen" Candice said "scars, ugly tattoo's, missing teeth, birthmarks, mental deficiencies and an unquenchable thirst for dubstep"

"I don't see how the last one is a flaw" Nel said

"Dubstep is a flaw in itself" Candice said

"I like most electronica" Nel said "be it Empire of The sun, Crystal Castles or Glitch Mob, it's all good"

"Well speaking of Crimewaves, have you noticed the murder rate had tripled since Grantz?" Candice said

"I know" Nel said "all this crime's got me at Half Mast"

"That's gross" Candice said "anyway drive it like you stole it because we've got to go and tell Yoruichi her daddy is dead"

"I'm not looking forward to it but we are the people who do this" Nel replied

"I wish I could just leave school now, I wish I could just abandon the Stern Ritter and just be with you" Candice sighed

"I know" Nel said "but I don't know how far the Stern Ritter reach, I might not be able to protect you if they are scorned by your exit"

"I know" Candice said "what now?"

"C'mon" Nel said "I want a Cero Doble before I break the news"

"I don't know how you can drink Cero's never mind a Cero Doble"

"They are an acquired taste" Nel admitted "but swallowing Cero's is my specialty, it got twenty-four Gran Rey Cero's before I passed out"

"That's…impressive" Candice said. Nel laughed, she and Yoruichi had given Candice and Soifon Gran Rey Cero's Candice had managed two before passing out Soifon had managed an impressive five before throwing up.

"What do they put in Cero's?" Candice asked as they walked out the room.

"Um" Nel said "Kukaku has an ingredient she doesn't reveal but she also puts cinnamon, whiskey and rum in it"

"And to make it Gran Rey they put a teaspoon of Absinthe in it?"  
"Yep" Nel said "to make it a Cero Doble you put ginger instead of cinnamon in it"

"Oh" Candice said "it sounds lethal"

"It is lethal" Nel said "Kukaku refuses to sell them to the same person two nights in a row because they're so bad for your health"

They made their way through the lobby of the hotel and pushed through some paparazzi. Nel had unwittingly sensationalised herself after the Grantz case. She'd been filmed acting like a child and the video had got nearly seven million views on YouTube, everyone seemed to love her. There had been several pleas by Zommari to get her booted off the force but whilst Nel was nurturing Candice Haschwald refused to kick out Nel. Plus she was a fan favourite and the police force could do with a positive public image ever since those brutality cases a few years back.

She jumped into her car after giving a brief statement. Candice jumped in beside her "so to The Roman Candle?"

"Yep" Nel said "hopefully Yoruichi is there"

"Phone her"

"I'll do that" Nel said pulling out her phone….damn this was gonna be awkward.

***Change***

Soifon shifted her weight slightly. Kukaku tried her best not to show how truly devastated she was. Ukitake and Kyoraku looked awkward. Yoruichi sobbed loudly with her head on the table she was sitting at. Soifon knew she should be consoling her right now but she didn't know what to say. How did a girl console someone who'd just had their father killed by the same organisation who'd killed their mother?

Soifon's heart hurt just watching Yoruichi. Soifon had never been this upset when her father had died. Nel downed her drink; this was the third time she'd done this. Nel was obviously the most uncomfortable. Soifon was saddened by the news as well. Ryuu had been more of a father to her than her real father ever had been. She felt the loss, she knew he was gone, she'd never see him laugh at Yoruichi or see him doing his disco dancing routine again. Soifon still hadn't eaten all the sweets he'd bought for her eighteenth birthday.

Soifon felt tears sting her eyes. Damn it, she was going to break down too. She closed her eyes tight and tried to block out her sadness. Damn it, it wasn't working. She could feel sobs trying to escape her. She felt the softest touch on her arm. Opening her eyes she found herself staring into Yoruichi's tear filed golden eyes. "I…" Soifon managed before she was finally taken over by emotion.

"Don't say anything" Yoruichi said hugging her "your presence is enough to console me" Her words fully broke the wall and Soifon sobbed into her shoulder. Yoruichi's hand ran through Soifon's hair. "Don't let me go" Yoruichi said. Soifon felt so silly, why had she thought Yoruichi was consoling her? It was the other way around. Soifon was consoling Yoruichi.

Soifon saw Nel tap Candice and start to leave. "So" Kisuke said walking through the door holding a suitcase and grinning "what's I miss?"

***End of Chapter Twelve***


	13. Chapter 13: Phoenix

**Radox bubble bath finished and scented candle lit! …what do you mean scented candles and bubble baths aren't manly? Now time to start chapter thirteen. This one isn't as sad as I'd like it to be but I've already said that I'm not so good with emotional stuff. By the way…just because it isn't sad doesn't mean you should get rid of the Kleenex…** **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo and whatever publisher he's on, I don't know what but I'm sure they are content with being nameless presently. If you sell my story for money you should really slap the person who you sold it to because they got ripped off and the sky will grow dark and Satan will rain down sulphurous hellfire and boil your eyeballs and turn your guts into snakes as a repercussion for doing it (Effects may vary depending on religious beliefs). If you are Atheist then it shall be Justin Bieber with one of those mouths inside his mouth like in Alien…also with one of those spiked tails and a laser gun from predator… and he'll speak with a Bristolian accent (Google it).**

The first night Yoruichi had spent fatherless she'd slept in Soifon's bed. Yoruichi didn't know what to do with herself the next day. Was she supposed to be planning his funeral? Her father had done everything with their mother. Soifon was as supportive as she could be, well…as supportive as she could be for someone who refuses to even hold her hand in public; she'd received a mysterious letter from someone claiming to be her father with a key to a cabin in the woods. The letter had said to go alone. So she did. Yoruichi was left wandering around town. She didn't know where to go. Kukaku had closed The Roman Candle for the day. Ryuu was, despite how they acted, like a father to her too.

Her father had been parental to everyone in the group. Nel and Kukaku; two fatherless girls who found a tiny bit of solace in him. Nel, Kukaku and Yoruichi were his daughters and he'd deeply cared about them. Yoruichi found herself walking down the street her apartment was located in. Huh…she must've walked here unconsciously. She may as well feed her cat whilst she was here. She strolled through the lobby of her block. She stepped into the lift and stuck her key into the hole and turned. She pressed the penthouse button. The doors slowly closed and she closed her eyes as the lift started to rise. How had she got over her mother dying? Oh yeah…she'd went on a five year bender.

She couldn't do that again despite how horrifyingly tempting it was, she had to think of Soifon. Last time she could just disappear into nothingness but now she had someone depending on her staying strong. The lift doors opened and she stepped into the corridor of Penthouse Apartments, She shared this floor with one other person. A quiet man called Jugo, well that's what some crazy looking dude with a Mohawk called him. He kept himself to himself so Yoruichi really couldn't say very much more about him.

She stumbled into her apartment silently cursing Kukaku for drawing the line at four Cero's…apparently she wouldn't be 'fit to drive' if she had any more…the bitch. Her cat Shunko ran up to her as she walked in. It seemed to know she was upset and ran its body across her legs. Yoruichi crouched and picked him up. "You're not frightened to show affection in public are you, boy" she said snuggling with him. "I bet you're hungry"

She walked to her cat cupboard where she kept all of Shunko's stuff in like catnip, food and flea treatments. Thinking about it she'd probably have to flea him soon. She opened the cupboard and frowned at a piece of paper folded underneath a can of cat food. That wasn't there previously.

She picked it up and looked at it: _To Yoruichi, Sorry. _It said. It must've been from her father. Yoruichi's hand shook as she unfolded it and read:

_I'm afraid I must apologise for not bidding you farewell in the proper manor, my Princess._

_I don't know if I'll survive, if you're reading this and I am alive…stop reading and burn this note._

_If you're still reading then either I'm dead or you're not listening to me. I've always liked how rebellious you were._

_Never mind, I'm dead and I'm sorry, I must ask you, no beg you to not do anything rash. When your mother died you fell into a pit of despair just like me but don't do that this time and DO NOT go after Aizen without being completely sure you can kill him. Don't throw your life away Yoruichi, you've got more on the line this time._

_I truly regret not being more of a father to you. I regret not being able to walk you down the aisle…if you choose to be the female of the wedding…I'm not sure how you lesbians do it but I'm sure it would be beautiful. I would have loved to see you in a white dress so happy you can't stop grinning. _

_I regret not seeing any mini Yoruichi's running around, I regret not spoiling them with gifts and treats._

_Even events that've past, like your piano recital and the talent show, both of which I missed, I wish I'd seen you. I watched the video of your piano recital every day, you truly were magnificent but it's not as beautiful as if I'd been there. _

_I would tell you not to be sad but that's silly, I was one hell of a guy I'd be gutted if I died too. Please, as your daddy's last wish, rise from the ashes my little Phoenix and give'em hell kid. This next bit… just try to understand._

_The Seven stars _

_Heart of gold _

_East of god_

_March west _

_After the north star falls _

_Seek justice with tenacity _

_Tenebrae rises in your heart_

_Eros wept at the broken hearted man_

_Rise from the ash _

_Moloch devours the souls of the innocent _

_In the tomb of the seven kings_

_No one seeks finite amounts of gold _

_Death awaits those that do_

_Isis stands above the prostrated corpses of her enemies _

_So do not cry_

_No one shall be carried up in the Rapture _

_Easy pickings are the rich of today _

_Light shall cast out the darkness and you shall see the true face of your adversary_

_P.S I don't know if I've left the iron on in the house, could you go and check it please?_

_P.P.S I've left the family business and manor to Ryo, I didn't think you'd want the house, though, I did leave all of my worth to you. That's roughly seven hundred million. Spend it wisely…hahaha I bet you'll spend it all on information. _

_P.P.P.S Tell Kukaku she's got nice tits. _

Yoruichi scrunched the note up in her hand. She'd lost the ability to stand about half way through the letter. She lay in the foetal position. She already missed him so much it hurt. She cried so hard it actually hurt; her stomach ached with every sob. She couldn't believe it, she'd never see him again, he was gone.

She'd cried herself to sleep on the vinyl floor of her kitchen. Her life seemed to be going so smoothly too, she'd found a great girl, she was solving cases, she'd patched things up, albeit awkwardly, with Nel and now…her father was dead, her hero, her saviour. Dad.

She'd woke up five hours later groggy and achy, she had no will to move, she wished the floor would just open up and swallow her. Somewhere in the depths of her sorrow she willed herself to get up. She was stronger than this. Get Up Yoruichi! She moved Shunko had curled up in her arms. He watched her rise with a tinge of curiosity.

"I'm sorry" Yoruichi said "I forgot to feed you again, I'm a pathetic person" Shunko raked his claws across her hand. Yoruichi winced as pain seared up her hand, it cleared the last of her self-loathing grogginess. "Was that your version of a bitch slap?" Yoruichi smiled at her cat. He sat and stared at her with a look as if to say 'you're better than this!'

"You know what?" Yoruichi said "you're right, I'm gonna tear that bastard Aizen down but…I'm not gonna be silly about this"

Yoruichi stood up and went to her phone book. Who could she trust to help her take down Aizen? Nel, Kukaku, Kisuke, Soifon and Ukitake and Kyoraku would help her. If she could find Ryo he'd help…who else? Would Yamamoto want to avenge two of his subordinates' deaths? What about…The Mastermind? Whatever they were doing they didn't seem to be friends with Aizen and they didn't seem to be working against her.

She pulled out her phone and dialled Soifon. Soifon answered after the fourth ring. "Soifon, where are you?"

"I'm…" She sighed as if she had been crying "at that cabin"

"What's wrong?"

"My father" Soifon said "he was still alive"

"What?" Yoruichi said "I though you said he killed himself?"

"That's because I thought he did" Soifon said "but he faked his death, the unnamed Chinese man with your father…that was him"

"I don't understand" Yoruichi said

"I heard from Yamamoto" Soifon said "that my father and Ryuu were friends. Ryuu came to him for help to kill the Espada, they knew they were going to die, they didn't believe they'd kill all of them"

"I gathered from the tone of a letter my father left me" Yoruichi said "so this cabin, it belonged to your father?"

"Yes" Soifon said "I'm gonna look around and then go to the Kotowari centre, I need a day to think about things, my father revealed a lot to me in the form of a letter."

"I see" Yoruichi said "do you mind…if I sleep with you tonight again"

"No" Soifon said "come over whenever you want"  
"Okay" Yoruichi said "I love you"

"I love you too" Soifon replied. Yoruichi smiled, she loved hearing those words come from Soifon's mouth. Even now, the saddest she'd ever been she found herself smiling and blushing like a schoolgirl. She flipped her phone shut and sighed. "Sorry, Shunko I'm gonna leave you on your own for the night…" the cat stared at her "what?" she said. He continued to stare "oh alright" Yoruichi said picking him up. "Looks like it's a sleepover"

***Change***

Soifon stared at Shaozu who merely lit a stove and put a cast iron kettle over it. She hadn't seen him for years; he hadn't changed a single bit. He still had the same messy hair that scruffily stuck out in random directions. He still had that eye condition…heterochromia they called it. His left eye was a steely grey like Soifon's but his right was a bright green colour. He didn't look the slightest bit sad or sorry that their father had died. Soifon had read the letter and heard Shaozu's explanation of why their father threw them out. She was upset that her father had only, in his own roundabout manor, been trying to protect her. She wished she'd at least spoke to him before he died.

"So" Shaozu said "you're a lesbian"

"No" Soifon said "I go out with a woman, she's the only woman I'm attracted to and ever will be"

"Bisexual then" he said "always splitting hairs"

"What about you" Soifon said "fond yourself a woman?"

"Nope" Shaozu said "I'm not so lucky in that category…not everyone has a babe fawning over their every movements"  
"I got lucky I guess" Soifon said. Her eyes were drawn to another man in the room. He and Shaozu had both been there when Soifon got to the Log cabin, apparently this man who looked strikingly like Yoruichi was Ryo. He looked slightly depressed but that was to be expected for a man who'd just had their father killed.

"So how did Yoruichi take the news?" he said to her

"She cried…a lot" Soifon said

"We have to make haste" Ryo said "Aizen will be weakened after four of his Espada were killed"

"What do you want to do?" Shaozu said

"We're going to take down Coyote Starrk" Ryo said "we can take him together"

"Grimmjow is already after Ulquiorra and Nel can take Nnoitra, Kukaku can get Baraggan" Shaozu said "what then?"

"Harribel will fall, she isn't good enough to take us all on" Ryo said "then Aizen is without his groupies"

"Doesn't it scare you" Soifon said

"What?" Ryo said

"That these people the Espada I've only met three of them and one survived a bullet to the head, another killed over two hundred people in the space of a week and the last leaves nothing but destruction in his wake" Soifon said "these Espada aren't children how is Aizen able to keep them in line, these people are dangerous and they obey Aizen like he's god, how?"

"I don't know" Ryo said "I don't know what Aizen is like in combat and I'd rather not find out"

"I've got another question" Soifon said "I've been hearing a name pop up every now and then"

"Say it" Ryo said. He seemed to know what she was about to say

"The Mastermind"

"I thought so" He said nodding "I don't know who he is or why he's chose now to mechanise but this Mastermind is a unique human being, I'd put money on the fact that the Mastermind isn't a single person but a group working under a single name"

"It would explain why they seem to be omnipotent" Shaozu said

"So do you know anything else about them?" Soifon said

"Only that they are looking for one more thing before they finally show themselves"

"What is it?"

"The Oken"

***Change***

Yoruichi opened a drawer on her desk. She was collecting some stuff for her stay at Soifon's just the basics, some romantic scented candles, a blanket for Shunko to sleep on… a .50 calibre gold plated Desert Eagle.

She tucked the gun away and stood up. She smiled at the thought of spending a romantic night in with Soifon. The phone rang. "A case?" She wondered. Her curiosity got the better of her and she answered the phone.

"Ha ha ha" A voice chuckled "couldn't help yourself can you, they did say curiosity killed the cat but I think it was the shady neighbour"

"It's you isn't it?" Yoruichi said feeling her hand tremble

"Say it" the person said with a stifled chuckle

"The Mastermind"

"Ohh" They sighed "god I love it when they say it"

"Why are you phoning me?"

"You wanted to speak to me correct?"

"I never even said that out loud" Yoruichi said "how do you know?"

"Do you think your pops is the only person that can read a skanks mind?"

"I don't understand why you act the way you do" Yoruichi said

"Like what?" The Mastermind said "I think I'm the coolest villain since Alan Rickman in Die Hard"

"You're going to offer me a trade" Yoruichi said using her own deductive skills

"Bingozy!" The Mastermind yelled "I want the Oken, bring me the Oken, I want it, I want it. Bring. ME. THE. OKEN!"

"The Oken is a myth"

"I'll tell you what is and isn't myths you stupid Barbie doll" The Mastermind snapped "it's in the clumsy fingers of Cang Du the evidence man at the RDPD HQ. Get it now or I'll gouge your eyeballs out your face and feed them to that little jailbait you call a girlfriend"

"What kind of trade is that?" Yoruichi said trying to keep her cool

"Aizen tried to keep his cool dealing with me, I threw him a bone and he never delivered my Oken" The Mastermind said "and now his mother and father are hanging from the Golden Gate bridge"

"Both my parents are dead" Yoruichi said  
"But Soifon isn't" He said "well...do you want me to change that?"

"No" Yoruichi said "I'll get your Oken then"

"NO, NO, NO" The Mastermind snapped "Don't get my Oken, you're thick stupid fingers don't deserve it…until you've proven yourself worthy of my…trust"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Oh…Nel!" The Mastermind said. There was a quiet knock on her door and Nel walked in holding a folder.

"Hi" she said "I thought you might like a case to keep your mind off of…uh…you know"

"Solve it" The Mastermind said "I manipulated little Miss Gumjob into choosing this case, I think you'll like it"

"Thanks" Yoruichi said to Nel. Nel smiled happily.

"Isn't she just adorable" The Mastermind said "you could just pinch those little cheeks"

Yoruichi's eyes widened and she found herself trembling. Nel had left by this point. "What…did you just say?"

"Oh" The Mastermind chuckled "I like the part where you lick her from behind, aren't you worried you'll get a brown nose…oh wait no one would notice. Oh the boy's slag, the best you've ever had, oh the best you've ever had is jus-"

"How do you…" Yoruichi felt unquenchable rage, this Mastermind was everywhere.

"What…no…" The Mastermind seemed to be speaking to someone else "See those…uh those chocolate kind of… rolls, with cream inside could you…uh pick up a few of them…no not Twinkies, they don't sell them anymore, they are one of the Cadburys things I think their called minirolls or something. No! Mom! I don't wanna see Barry he's weird. Mom go away I'm playing a game here!"

"Do you want me to give you minute" Yoruichi said  
"Patronise me again and I'll cut your head off and shove it up your own ass"

"Did you practice that on your action men?" Yoruichi laughed

"I like you…" Then the Mastermind hung up. Yoruichi found herself still laughing. This Mastermind…she understood him a little. He was like a child, he was lonely and frustrated and incredibly intelligent. He seemed to be looking for someone of equal intellect to play with. He could prove to be an invaluable ally if she could keep him entertained.

Yoruichi picked up the folder. Maybe Nel was right. She'd need to solve this case anyway so she might as well get to it…tomorrow, tonight was romantic time! She opened it up and inspected it. There was a victim, a male…drained of blood? Well this case was already interesting! She folded up the file and left the room.

***Change***

The Mastermind chuckled as they watched Yoruichi walk out of her office. Goddamn! Pesquisa was one of the most awesomest discoveries they'd ever made! All it took was a little tweak here and there and then they could simply watch people for the fun of it…a teenage girl masturbating in her room, a middle aged business man snorting coke from the ass crack of a stripper and even bar brawls, The Mastermind could see this whole planet and once they'd got the Oken there would be nothing they couldn't find. The whole world would spread their legs and show all their gory details…the Mastermind would have friends…the whole world would be their friend!

And they'd tell them every single one of their deepest, darkest secrets…

***Change***

Soifon found herself to be glad to be back in Yoruichi's arms. She'd got back to the Kotowari centre and entered her room which was lit by three aromatic candles; Yoruichi had lain seductively on her bed. Soifon didn't need to say anything. She merely dropped her bag on the ground and went to pull her t-shirt off.

"No" Yoruichi said "I want to strip you" she smiled at Soifon it was a smile of happiness rather than seduction.

Soifon embraced her lover on the bed. Yoruichi kissed differently than she usually did, instead of normally thrusting her tongue into Soifon's mouth she let Soifon take the lead this time. Soifon sucked Yoruichi's tongue, she always tasted so good, Yoruichi drank a ton of fruit juice and thus she usually had a kind of tropical flavour. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered what she tasted like. The thought was dashed when Yoruichi ran her hand inside Soifon's t-shirt. Yoruichi seemed to love Soifon's breasts; she'd once said she thought they were cute. But that was embarrassing. Soifon was a breast lover too. Yoruichi's large bust filled many moistened daydreams. Soifon squeezed Yoruichi's left breast. It was too big to fully grab with her hand but she could always try.

Yoruichi moaned as Soifon rubbed her thigh on Yoruichi's groin. She put her hand into Soifon's jeans and plunged two fingers inside her. Soifon groaned as the stimulation made her twitch. Yoruichi in turn moaned when Soifon pushed into her with her thigh. Yoruichi pulled back from the kiss and grinned at her as she rubbed her groin on Soifon's thigh and pushed her fingers all the way into the third knuckle. Soifon stifled and orgasmic moan. Yoruichi had turned on the radio to set the scene. Both Soifon and Yoruichi slowly pleasured each other to the rhythm 'Porcelain by Moby'.

Yoruichi pulled Soifon's T-shirt off and kissed her chest. Soifon rarely wore a bra, she didn't need one. Yoruichi pulled Soifon into a sitting position and slowly licked around her nipple. She let her head fall back as she ran her hand through Yoruichi's hair Yoruichi picked up her pace with her fingers. "Slow down" Soifon said "you're gonna make me cum"

"Sorry" Yoruichi said pulling her fingers out. Soifon took the intuitive and pulled the light cotton sweater Yoruichi had decided was a suitable thing to put over her bare chest. Yoruichi raised her arms and let Soifon pull it off. Then came that jiggle…every time Soifon pulled Yoruichi's top off they always did a special jiggle just for her.

Soifon squashed them in her hands. "You love them don't you" Yoruichi purred in her ear.

"I do" Soifon replied. She leant forward teased her nipple by lightly nibbling it with her teeth. Yoruichi chuckled and pushed her head into her. Soifon closed her eyes and revelled the softness of her lovers bust. She could feel Yoruichi's calm heartbeat in hear chest.

Yoruichi's hand unbuttoned Soifon's jeans and pulled them off in a quick motion. Soifon hated being naked almost any time except when she was alone with Yoruichi. Yoruichi always stared at her with lust and appreciation. Soifon copied Yoruichi and peeled those tight trousers from her legs. It was one of Soifon's favourite moments during sex. Yoruichi's smell would finally be released and Soifon could breathe in the essence of a woman in the grasp of fiery passion.

Yoruichi never wore underwear for some reason but Soifon didn't mind, it was just one less thing to peel off her soft and supple body. Yoruichi quickly discarded Soifon's underwear and pulled her in for a deep and satisfying kiss. Soifon felt Yoruichi position her thighs on either side of Soifon's kind of like two pairs of scissors together, hence the name of the technique 'The Scissor Sisters'. Soifon moaned as Yoruichi ground her moistened womanhood against Soifon's.

This was the first time Yoruichi had done this and it felt good. Soifon ground equally as hard into Yoruichi, this pleasure was too intense, her heart picked up its pace as Yoruichi's kissed her harder and humped into her harder. "You gonna cum?" Yoruichi whispered between pants

"Oh…" Soifon moaned "not yet"

Yoruichi grinned at her and pulled away from the move and pushed Soifon onto her back. She grabbed her waist and pulled her forward. Soifon groaned as Yoruichi slid her tongue into her. Soifon may have only let two people lick her out but Yoruichi was by far the best. The strangest thing was that Soifon didn't believe it was her who was getting the most pleasure from oral sex. Yoruichi had her eyes closed and licked and sucked with a serene look on her face.

"Oh god" Soifon muttered running her fingers through Yoruichi's thick hair again. She pulled the ribbon securing her gorgeous purple mane out and it all flowed around her head. "Don't stop" Soifon groaned as she spread her legs as wide as they'd go. Yoruichi didn't reply, she merely fixed her with a seductive aurous gaze.

Yoruichi continued her routine for nearly twenty minutes before Soifon couldn't hold it in anymore. Using a pillow she stifled her final, ultimate orgasm. Then Yoruichi was on top of her, her powerful legs at either side of her head. Soifon watched with desire in her eyes as Yoruichi descended onto her. Yoruichi's taste was like nothing Soifon had ever experienced, she'd imagined it back when they were dating but she was grossly unprepared for when she finally had sex with her. She tasted like _beauty _it was a strange thing to think but it was the only word that Soifon could ever think of to comprehend it.

Yoruichi groaned and gyrated her hips. Soifon found herself getting aroused again. With one hand caressing her beautiful ass and the other thoroughly rammed inside her own vagina she worked Yoruichi into an orgasm which she too stifled with her arm, Soifon had managed to reach another climax in this time and her pulled her dripping wet fingers out of herself.

Yoruichi sighed and came down and lay beside her. She smiled at Soifon. "You never fail to disappoint me" Yoruichi said after sucking Soifon's juice off of her fingers. "God I love you so much" Soifon found her cheeks reddening again. She smiled shyly at Yoruichi.

"I think I love you more" She replied holding her hand. Yoruichi giggled and jumped out of bed. Soifon watched her naked body as she bent over and blew out the candles. She quickly came back and pulled the covers over them.

Soifon relaxed as Yoruichi cuddled into her. "I turned the air-conditioning up" Yoruichi said  
"I didn't think you wanted to sleep in a sweat drenched bed but now it's really cold in here"  
"No worries" Soifon said "that just means we can snuggle closer together"

"I'm glad I've met you" Yoruichi said after trying to kiss her in the dark and kissing her eye.

"I think I'm more glad"

"Gotta turn everything into a competition don't ya" Yoruichi said prodding her still wet pussy with her finger. Soifon twitched and chuckled. She rolled ontop of Yoruichi.

"I think I want to French kiss you for the rest of the night" Soifon said. Yoruichi's hands caressed her behind and then the small of her back. Her hands moved back down and she grabbed both of her ass cheeks.

"I think we should make out until we recharge and fuck again" Yoruichi giggled "and this time, it's gonna be kinky"

"Oh, my" Soifon said grinning.

***Change***

Kukaku adjusted her arm, damn it, it was feeling really uncomfortable recently. Her phone beeped with a text…it was her work phone. She slid her finger across the screen unlocking it. She looked at the message and raised an eyebrow: **LOL OMG send a pic of yer bewbs!**

** "**Is this some kind of joke?" Kukaku said another text beeped

**NO! IT'S NOT A GODDMAN JOKE NOW SEND ME A PIC OF YOUR TITTIES OR I'LL CUT YOU IN HALF AND THROW YOU INTO A VOLCANO.**

_**Who is this?**_She replied

**Hurr-durr it's a Mastermind, bint-box** came the reply

_**I'm not impressed**_ Kukaku replied

**Hey, bitch do I look like I'm putting a show on for your ugly ass? **Kukaku scowled at the phone, this had to be a prank. **It's not a prank and I can prove it**

_**How? **_Kukaku replied

**You're wearing green panties** he replied. Kukaku looked up from the screen and looked around the bar. She was wearing jeans so anyone in here could've caught a peak at her underwear. Toshiro sat in the corner playing a Nintendo DS, Kisuke sat at the bar looking at her curiously. **Tell Kisuke** another message said.

"Hey Kisuke" Kukaku said

"What's up?" He said

"I'm getting messaged by someone calling themselves The Mastermind" Kukaku replied. He snapped his head to the phone and leapt over the counter and grabbed it from her. "Hey!" She said

"Sorry" he replied. _**I've been looking for you**_ Kisuke said in a text.

**And I you, your phone number isn't an easy thing to get without revealing who I am I had to go through little Miss Mammary here **Kukaku scowled and said: "This guy is asking for it"

_**Now you've got me**_ Kisuke replied

**No I don't. I don't like you Urahara, in fact I may just pick up your GF there and impale you with her.**

_**Impaling a person with another person is a difficult thing to do**_ Kisuke replied

**I've done it before **came the reply **and I'll just be hitting a motherfucker with another motherfucker **

_**What do you want?**_

**I want you to kill Neliel Tu Odelswanck**

_**Why would I do that?**_ Kisuke said

A picture message came as the reply. Both kids that Kisuke had taken under his wing looked frightened and slightly bruised. They both were tied with gags over their mouths. **You have two days to kill her or they die.**

***End of chapter thirteen***


	14. Chapter 14: Fallen

**Soo…do you know what FaddishMass does when he gets robbed and has £500 ($805) of hard earned green taken from his bank account?…yep…he writes another fanfic! Enjoy**

Yoruichi woke up and stretched. She it occurred to her that this was the best she'd felt waking up all week. Soifon snuggled beside her, the smell of their kinky night still hung in the air sweeter than any scented candle. Yoruichi teased Soifon awake. "You've got school" She said. Soifon groaned and covered her head with her arms.

"Schools for bullies and geeks, I'm neither so don't make me go!"

"C'mon" Yoruichi said "I know it's hard but you'll be thrown off WISH if you don't keep your attendance up"

"I know" Soifon muttered.

"Just think of me nude when people are dissing you"

"Oh yeah" Soifon said sarcastically "because I'm not weird enough and I should start getting wet when I get beat down"

"It's hard for me too" Yoruichi said "I hate to think our relationship is giving you a hard time but Mr Bach says he's doing everything he can"

"He does, does he?"

"…yeah?"

"Mr Bach does fuck all" Soifon said "he hates me worse than Bambietta does"

"I think you're blowing it out of proportion" Yoruichi said smiling and tracing her finger down the scar on her chest. It ran from her left collar bone down between her breasts and stopped halfway down the right side of her ribcage. Soifon sighed and pulled herself out of bed and got dressed into last night's clothes. She quickly got a towel and clean clothes and disappeared toward the showers.

Yoruichi hadn't forgotten that her father was dead and that a ruthless business god was breathing down her neck. She shook her thoughts away and picked up the file again. This case may do the world of good or just make things worse. She looked at the picture of the wound where the victim's blood was drained, she found herself laughing at how ridiculous this was.

"Vampires" She chuckled "oh it's been too long" she picked up her phone and dialled Nel. She waited as the phone rang and rang…and rang. She was about to hang up when Nel picked up. "What's up?" Nel said  
"What kind of case it this?" Yoruichi asked "it's stupid"  
"I thought you could do with a cheer up" Nel said

"So…gonna tell me what you've found out?" Yoruichi asked

"Dunno" Nel said "me and Candice think it's a cult of some kind"

"It does sound…culty" Yoruichi said "so there was ritual in the killings?"

"I don't know" Nel replied "these bodies are all dumps, they were killed somewhere else"  
"Hey maybe it's real Vampires?" Yoruichi said

"There's no such thing as real Vampires" Nel said

"Oh come on, you saw that guy in Berlin" Yoruichi said "you gonna tell me he wasn't a vampire"  
"You shot him before I got to see!" Nel snapped

"Can you blame me?" Yoruichi said "he was a freekin Vampire I was frightened he was gonna eat me"

"See!" Nel said "vampires don't eat people…they just drink their blood"

"But he flew!" Yoruichi said "I saw him; he flew and had the teeth and the stupid fedora"

"Enough!" Nel snapped again "on a more serious note, I don't wanna alarm you but there is someone after me"

"Who?"

"Don't know" Nel said "they're skilled, they haven't been taking chances, they're waiting for me to make a mistake"

"Sounds like it's a pro" Yoruichi said "I think you may be hunted by the Espada again"

"Maybe" Nel said "I'm gonna batten down the hatches for a while"

"Stay safe sister" Yoruichi said. She hung up. Yoruichi fought a worried feeling rising in her stomach. Nel was a powerful woman, she wouldn't fall to some Espada…but Aizen did deem two people to be more dangerous than her in that organisation.

***Change perspective between Yoruichi and Soifon, no time passed***

Soifon dried her hair quickly and put her second t-shirt on, a blue t-shirt with a picture of a bald eagle on it. Her heart beat heavy with dread. School wasn't even remotely fun. She was by far the most bullied girl in the school. It wouldn't be like this if she was just allowed to hit people but she couldn't. She'd cornered Bambietta a few times outside school and beat her until she couldn't even stand but it never stopped her, in fact the more Soifon beat her the more she insulted her the next day. It wasn't just her that was getting hurt, Candice liked Soifon but she was too scared of Bambietta to try to stop her. Soifon had called her a coward a few months ago but now…she'd rather be the person keeping their mouth shut rather than the one in the mud being stamped on.

Soifon wished she'd managed to download one of those videos before Bambietta removed them. Bambietta had been surprised when Soifon revealed she knew about her pastime but it didn't take her long to realise Soifon had no evidence and continue her daily humiliation routine. Soifon couldn't go to the bathroom for fear Bambietta would do something. She was getting pranked almost every day, it was humiliating. She was due pulling a Carrie.

Everyone else was just as frightened of Bambietta as Candice was, they didn't particularly mind Soifon when Bambietta wasn't there, and in fact a few people seemed to think she was quite cool. The only people she could find at least a little solace in were Ichigo and his friends, they weren't scared or even a little intimidated by Bambietta but they spent most of their time bunking off school. Soifon often wondered what was so interesting that they'd have to run out of school every few hours.

She walked back into her room. Yoruichi had pulled on last night's clothes and currently sat clicking away on a laptop. "Hey" Soifon said "what's up?"

"I'm looking up vampires" Yoruichi happily said

"Is that the case?" Soifon said

"Very intelligent, nice to know you're not just a stain on my bed sheets" She laughed

"I'll have you know that they are my bed sheets and it is your flooding orgasms that stain them" Soifon said

"If you had to describe sex in two words what would they be?"

"Warm and wet" Soifon said. Yoruichi stared at her before bursting out laughing "what?"

"Nothing" Yoruichi said still laughing "I would say comfortable and pleasurable"

"I suppose" Soifon said "I need breakfast"  
"I wanna make you something" Yoruichi said jumping off the bed and scaring Shunko away. Soifon laughed and opened the door. Renji and Shuhei jumped back and pretended they were fixing another door.

"Were you guys…listening in on us?" Soifon said

"N…no!" Renji said red-faced.

"I think they were" Yoruichi said with her arms crossed and a fierce look on her face. Soifon could almost imagine a wreath of flames around her.

"Oh crap" Shuhei said stumbling as he tried to run. Renji followed

"Don't try to flee from your fate!" Yoruichi yelled chasing them. They disappeared though the door and Soifon sighed as the sound of screaming and struggling came from the Utility room. She strolled into the room and picked up a few bits of toast and watched Renji and Shuhei struggling against Yoruichi's powerful holds. Eventually Shuhei was grabbed into a headlock and at the same time Renji was being crushed between Yoruichi's powerful thighs.

"I'm…not gonna…lie" Renji said red-faced "this is almost the perfect way to die"

"Huh!?" Yoruichi said she tightened her grip and smiled as he struggled futily against her. "This is fun" She said grinning at Soifon. Soifon took another bite of her toast as Kyoraku walked in.

"Yoruichi" he said "you're here early"  
"I never left" She said releasing the two men from their respective locks. She stood up and brushed herself off. "A cosy night in was all I needed I think"

"Have you planned a date for the…funeral?"

"I was thinking maybe Saturday" Yoruichi said "It depends if they release the body from the police"

"So they know what killed him?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said, her face was quite dark "a special blade…in fact its unique and used by only one person in the universe"

"Who?" Kyoraku said

"Tier Harribel" Yoruichi said.

"The maid?" Soifon said

"Yes" Yoruichi replied "Nel told me last night when I was on my way here"

"So…" Kyoraku said "there is a dish that is best served cold I wanna ask you about"

"I'm a different woman from eight years ago" Yoruichi said "Harribel will die by my hand but I'll make sure it is executed perfectly"  
"That always was your specialty" Kyoraku said "off to school" he said shooing Toshiro and Soifon out the door. Hiyori and Momo already waited for the bus. Toshiro sighed and crossed his arms.

"I can't be bothered" Soifon said

"I know" Toshiro said "it's a shame that we're only two of sixty-eight kids on the WISH programme, if it was over a thousand I could've deleted our records from its database and no one would notice but it's a pretty big margin from sixty-six to sixty-eight rather than seven thousand eight hundred and ninety-five to seven thousand eight hundred and ninety-seven"

"I see" Soifon said…she didn't 'see'. Computers were still completely alien to her. She only really knew how to surf the internet and that was it.

"So" Toshiro said "I…uh…I couldn't help hearing you and Yoruichi last night" Soifon stared at him "try to keep it down, man that's gross"

"Sorry" Soifon said feeling her cheeks go red. The bus came around the corner and stopped. Soifon took a deep breath. "Maybe Bambietta will be off today" she muttered. She stepped on and looked for Candice, she wasn't there. Sometimes Candice bunked off school to be with Nel at the police station. No worries, Candice and another one called Meninas didn't bother her when they were on their own. Giselle was partial to a snide remark or two but she was usually chatting to some boy to care about Soifon she also took this bus. Liltotto was almost as bad as Bambietta often smiling sweetly as she called her a dog eating shoemaker.

It was always the ringleader that was worst. Soifon shook her head as the bus pulled away. No one on the bus even looked at her, they never did and she didn't mind, she owed them fuck all. Yoruichi, Kukaku and Nel were her friends she didn't need any more and these people were worthless to her; if they all died tomorrow she wouldn't care. Did that make her a bad person? Probably but she was in her own universe one that very few were invited into.

Soifon heeded Yoruichi's words and thought of her when she was feeling depressed. She smiled slightly when she remembered Yoruichi giving her a lap dance for their two month anniversary. Frankly it made Soifon really respect Kukaku's guitar playing abilities because if she beat someone who could dance sexy like Yoruichi she had to be amazing. Soifon had got a nosebleed during that dance and fainted. It would have been humiliating if it had been anyone except Yoruichi who'd induced it.

"Yo" A boy said behind her "Soifon"

"What is it Jayden?" Soifon looked back at him

"Who are you taking to the Prom?"

"I'm not going" Soifon said  
"Everyone goes" he said "are you gonna be taking your babe of a GF, I wanna see lesbo action!"

"Hey" Giselle said "pay attention to me" she pulled Jayden in for an annoyingly loud kiss. Soifon rolled her eyes and plugged her iPod earphones into her ears. Soifon had taken a liking to bands like Alice in Chains, Nirvana and Placebo…apparently this affected the way she dressed. It had taken Soifon a while to realise her style had indeed changed she didn't think it had she still wore clothes she wanted to they were just…different.

Back to her school peers. When it had become apparent that that stunning dark skinned chick who'd burst into the classroom a couple of months ago to give Soifon her paycheque was her girlfriend it got all the boys' testosterone fuelled pulses racing. Every guy in the school seemed to try to get sex stories from Soifon when Bambietta wasn't there to scare them off. A few of the even sluttier girls pretended to be lesbians just to try to recreate Soifon's attention. Others just got jealous…very jealous.

The bus pulled up at school and Soifon jumped out and her hear skipped a beat with happiness as she saw a ginger headed boy sitting on a wall with his friends around him Thank god! No bullying today! She made a beeline toward them. "Yo" Ichigo said without even looking up from his phone

"Hey" she said

"I've got a question for you, Soifon" Ichigo said

"What is it?"

"Did you notice anything strange in Kukaku's behaviour yesterday?"

"Um…" Soifon shrugged "Ryuu had just died, man I was a bit more worried about Yoruichi"

"I see" He said still typing away on his phone, she wanted to slap it out of his and tell him to look at her when he talked to her but that'd probably get her kicked out of his clique.

"Soifon we have to finish our comic" Orihime said "I've got an idea about what happens after Mr Plank finds the jewel of the infinite meatballs!"

"I was thinking we should make one of the Maelstrom Gods rise up and fight him, it'll be epic like a Shonen"

"No!" Orihime said "we…make…birds!"

"Uh…Birds?"

"Yeah" Orihime said "the plot will shift to a flock of birds and we can draw them flying around"

"I think you should stick with, Soifon" Chad said "it wasn't half bad when she helps"

"Exactly" Ichigo said "you're all over the place"

"But…the birds" Orihime said looking really sad

"Make a spin off" Soifon said "all about the birds"

Soifon and Orihime had decided to write a manga together, Orihime had wanted to make a romance and then never included any romance in it at first it was a gory horror and then it turned into a fluffy ecchi drama and then it turned into a high octane shonen Soifon had tried to make the plot at least semi readable but…it wasn't easy, and this comic gets published to the schools weekly student magazine! It was popular amongst the students that were into stuff like gaming and otakuism.

Ishida watched the principal of the school walking out of his car. Mr Bach was an asshole but he commanded respect, the man was scary…and…dat moustache! You deserve respect when you can carry off a moustache like that and look that suave. "So" Ichigo said "you're doing the vampire case with Yoruichi?"

"I think so" Soifon said "I haven't read the file yet"

"Humph"

"I actually want the vigilante case, that one sounds even better" Soifon said. The entire group looked to Ichigo who didn't respond. There had been a group of vigilantes in town, one wearing a black cape, one wearing a while cape and another just wore regular clothes. They all wore masks…it was very Batman-esque.

Soifon watched Bambietta stroll through the playground. She seemed peculiarly happy in the mornings she usually strutted angrily into the building but today she strolled happily wearing that stupid army cap as per usual. "But the Vampire thing" Ichigo said "do you have any leads?"

"Like I said" Soifon replied "I haven't actually worked the case yet but at a guess I'd say it was some kind of cult with five to ten members"

"Damn" Ichigo said tightening his grip on his phone

"What's the deal with you and crimes, man" Soifon said "you're always like this"

"It doesn't matter" Ichigo said "c'mon lets go to class"

"A glass half full kinda guy" Soifon said. Soifon's eyes widened as a thought pinged through her head. "Ichigo" She said as she walked beside him.

"What?"

"Kukaku once told me you are an expert fighter"

"I am"

"You are?"

"I am"  
"What about vigilante?"

"I am" Ichigo said not turning

"I thought so" Soifon said "why?"

"My mother was killed by a wanted criminal that the police couldn't catch because they were too busy beating up black people"

"Wow" Soifon said "you are Batman!"

"What are you gona do?"

"Do?"

"Yeah" He said

"With the information that you are the vigilante?" Soifon said "damn you're so vague"

"Sorry"

"I don't particularly care" Soifon said "but if you interfere with Yoruichi's work… then I'll start caring"

"I think we should get Soifon to join" Orihime said "she could be…uh…the Ninja!"

"That's my name!" Ichigo said

"I thought you wanted to be The Grim Reaper!" Ishida said

"No I wanna be the Ninja now!"

"You can't just change your name" Ishida replied "do you see Batman or Superman changing their name?"

"No but they were happy with their name, goddammit!" Ichigo snapped "The Grim Reaper is too dark for a vigilante!"

"Don't worry" Soifon said "I don't wanna be in your group anyway"

"Good" Ichigo said "I heard what you can do; you'd totally show me up"

"How do you do that?" Ishida said "Kill people with two jabs"

"Pressure points" Soifon said "it's very complicated"

"Then that doesn't explain why you learnt it!" Bambietta said slapping the back of her head as she walked past.

"There's a special bit on someone's back that if you jab it" Soifon said giving Bambietta the finger "you piss yourself"

"Sounds fun" Bambietta replied "and of course you'd drink it because you just love any fluid that comes out of a dripping pussy"

"Speaking of dripping pussies how many cats have you sacrificed to Satan recently?" Ichigo said

"I try to limit it to one a week" Bambietta said "I tend to devastate the ecosystem if I go any higher"

Soifon really did hate school…

***Change***

Kukaku snapped awake. Kisuke had gone to sleep with her but she woke up alone. She rubbed her face with her hand. Nel was a bit of a bitch sometimes but knowing she'd actually told Kisuke she wouldn't blame him if he took her life made her feel like shit. It _was_ all she did; sell her friends down the river. Today was the day; Nel would be dead or dying by now. The Mastermind was a brutal person, Kisuke had tried to worm his way out of it once to which the Mastermind sent a video of him slicing Ururu's finger off.

Kisuke would have died for those kids and he'd never been particularly fond of Nel ever since she became Yoruichi's favourite plaything. He'd terminate her with extreme prejudice and Kukaku could do nothing but watch. She groaned and lay back down.

***Change***

A child played outside. He'd found this cool spot in the forest where he could see all of Seireitei from a cliff face. His mother told him not to go near the edge and for the most part he listened, he wasn't too fond of high things but the view was amazing. He currently rummaged underneath a bush looking for some cool bugs. He wondered what would happen in today's Ben 10. He heard something like a loud firework explosion. What was that? Then he saw her. A policewoman with long green hair stumbled out of the trees and looked for cover. He was about to go out of the bush and say hi when he noticed she was covering her stomach. Blood poured from between her fingers.

She looked behind her and gasped. She turned to run but stopped when she realised there was nowhere to go but down a three hundred foot drop. He wondered what was going on. "Nel" a man said. The child tried to see who'd spoken but he was somewhere to his left, he couldn't see.

"Kisuke" 'Nel' said "You don't have to do this we'll find the Mastermind together, damn it I have the Oken!"

"I don't care" He said "I'm not taking any more chances" He walked forward and Nel moved backwards but stopped when she realised she was right at the edge of the cliff. The man came into view; he pointed a shotgun and the woman. "Nel" he said "I am truly sorry"

Then he shot her.

***End of Chapter fourteen***


	15. Chapter 15: Broken

**Poor Soifon…**

Soifon took a deep breath as yet another day of tedious school had just noisily ringed its finale like a symphony sent from god directly to Soifon's bored eardrums. Soifon had learned about an interesting chemical today called Aqua Regia also known as Royal Water, it was supposedly the most corrosive acid in the world. Miss Unohana had shown them all just how corrosive it was by dissolving gold in it; a feat that little to no other acid or alkaline could do. Hence its name, one of the only chemicals that can dissolve the 'Royal Metals'…she'd have to get her hands on some it might be useful.

Leaving the classroom she almost walked into Mr Hirako the History teacher. "Soifon" He said. He was one of the few teachers that didn't call her by her _real_ name. "I expect to see your homework tomorrow"

"Yeah" Soifon said

"Ten bucks says she forgets" Bambietta said kicking her ankle as she walked. Soifon stumbled but kept on her feet.

"Enough of your confrontational attitude" Mr Hirako said to Bambietta "I can't believe some people call you the most graceful girl in America" he muttered walking away.

Soifon quickly walked in the opposite direction of Bambietta, Yoruichi had texted her saying she wanted Soifon just to come to the office. Soifon could walk there if she took a nice tranquil shortcut through a bit of the forest that practically cut the city in half. Apparently they couldn't cut it down because a rare species of tree grew there and the chemical it made was supposedly very powerful. Miss Unohana had briefly spoke about it but she didn't seem to want to say too much Soifon tried to remember what it was called…hero…something oh! Hierro! Miss Unohana hadn't said what it could do but she said it was very dangerous.

Soifon strolled through the school gates and made her way to the forest. There was a path somewhere nearby; she'd only taken it twice so it took a minute to find. It was quite narrow at first but then it widened out into a nice seaside route. The path was above the beach, there was a small cliff maybe three or four metres above. She groaned as she stood in a boggy bit of ground. The problem with this area was that all the rain from the Soul Palace came down in two rivers and several underground spouts, one of which made this area a little bog- Soifon felt a pulse of white hot pain sear through her body.

All control of her muscles failed and she fell to the ground. "Well, well, well" Bambietta said holding up a Taser. "it looks like you're a little lost"

"You always sucked at alliteration" Soifon said starting to get up. She was gonna kick Bambietta into next week if she could …just…move her muscles! Bambietta laughed and tased her again. Soifon groaned, damn it hurt!

"What are we gonna do?" Liltotto asked. Bambietta was only accompanied by Giselle and Liltotto.

"I've got something in mind" Bambietta said producing a mallet from her schoolbag.

"Are you gonna kill her?" Liltotto said

"Are you stupid?" Bambietta said "I ain't killing someone who's back by a freekin Shihouin I might as well put a gun to my head a shoot myself"

"So you're just gonna break stuff" Soifon groaned "makes sense"

"That it does" Bambietta smiled beautifully "now let's have some fun"

***Change***

Kisuke tried to stop his emotions getting the better of him but it was hard, it was damn hard. Nel had been his friend and now her very red blood was on his hands. The Mastermind better let Jinta and Ururu go. His cell phone rang as she looked over the cliff. He couldn't see Nel's body through the trees. He picked it up. "Hello"

"Boom!" The Mastermind yelled "so cold and wet I think I'm gonna call you Slushy Man from now on"

"Let them go"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" The Mastermind said "pick them up at…crap…where did I leave them again…oh yeah! The abandoned aquarium near the railway"

"Can I make a request?" Kiskue said. This had emotionally shattered him

"Oh?"

"I'll never follow or try to find out who you are just…" He fell to his knees "don't ever speak to me again"

"Oh dear" The Mastermind replied "Has dancing with the devil already tired you out?"

"I underestimated you, I thought I could catch you"  
"You can't catch what doesn't exist" The Mastermind said "anyway…" they stifled a laugh "did you see how far Nel went…you must've hit a bone she went fucking flying! OMG she practically did six full revolutions"

"Stop" Kisuke said "this is the end of our relationship"

"I see" The Mastermind said "I can't say that I'm upset, you're not very fun, at least Yoruichi wants to _play _with me"

"Just…" Kisuke wondered why the Mastermind used the word 'Play' that was strange.

"I liked how you got rid of Candice" The Mastermind said "a car wreck is an awful way to go but it is a one in a hundred and twenty-five chance or something like that"

"Goodbye"

"So boring" The Mastermind said "by the way…you better be ready to pay Yoruichi's bail because it'll be in the hundreds of thousands"

"What do you mean?" Kisuke demanded. The Mastermind merely laughed and hung up. Kiskue put his phon in his pocket and disappeared through the woods. He eventually came to the sizzling car wreck where he'd activated his Super Spike Strip to run them off the road. Candice was slouched forward, a large laceration on her forehead leaked blood profusely. Yet another of his inventions used to kill one of his friends. He leaned to check her pule, he hadn't meant to kill her it was a waste of a good human life.

He heard sirens in the distance and pulled away. "Damn it" he said disappearing into the woods again. He pulled out his phone to call Yoruichi but he couldn't bring himself to hear her voice. She'd exalted him for a large portion of his lonely life and he'd been happy and now he'd betrayed her in the worst possible way…he was no man, he was…nothing…just a ghost.

***Change***

Soifon cried and cried. Bambietta had finished her torture routine and fucked off to do whatever perverted thing she could think of and left Soifon, muddy naked and humiliated on the ground. She couldn't move, she'd been tied up. Her left arm was broken as was her ankle. Pain screamed through her body with every movement. Soifon had never been treated this way by anyone, even her brothers had their limits. Bambietta was sadistic to no end, the only thing that could keep Soifon's mind from completely dissolving into madness was the burning desire for pure and unadulterated revenge. Bambietta was going to die and there was nothing that would stop her.

Rage and pain…two words to sum up her miserable life when Yoruichi wasn't there. Maybe loneliness would be there too but she was partial to a bit of free time. So now she was lying in a forest completely humiliated and crying. She couldn't stop herself, she couldn't hold the tears back they just came. "Oh dear" someone said. Soifon tried to turn but her ankle and arm seared with pain.

Then she was covered by something. Whoever it was painfully picked her up and carried her. She couldn't see their face her sight was failing her. She was about to pass out. She wished she could get a glimpse at her saviour but she fainted before she could.

***Change***

Yoruichi chuckled as Renji and Shuhei played with Shunko, normally pets weren't allowed in the Kotowari Centre but Ukitake let Shunko stay with Yoruichi. She looked at her phone. "I'd better get to the office" Yoruichi said she stod up and turned to see someone walking through the door. She never looked at their face all she saw was the broken beat body of her girlfriend in their arms.

She stared, feeling rage and confusion filling her "Think carefully about you're answer when I ask you why Soifon is naked and broken in your arms" Yoruichi said staring at him "Grimmjow!"

"Don't get your damn hopes up" He snapped "she isn't my type, I found her"

"You found her?"

"Well…" He shrugged "I was following Bambietta Basterbine for Kukaku, she wanted to try to get some footage of her doing something weird and I found Soifon"

"Bambietta?" Yoruichi said taking Soifon carefully from him

"That coat is dry-clean only!" He said. Yoruichi scowled at him. Renji and Shuhei came to Soifon's side too.

"That arm is broken" Shuhei said obviously trying to ignore her naked ness

"I know" Yoruichi said calmly "I'm gonna clean her a little whilst you get an ambulance"

"I don't like your tone of voice" Grimmjow said "I'm leaving before people start dying"  
"Grimmjow" Yoruichi said "thank you"

"All in a day's work" He said walking through the door. Yoruichi picked up Soifon after she wiped blood from her own nose. Calm down Yoruichi! She told herself, she'd never in her entire life been the angry, rage made her quiver as she carried Soifon to the shower rooms.

She'd never listened to Soifon; Soifon had told her multiple times she was worried that Bambietta would do something rash. She'd assumed her Shihouin name would scare her off but now that her father was dead there was no barrier between Bambietta and Soifon. Also she'd promised herself, on the feeble beating heart in the ambulance that day five months ago that she'd never, NEVER see Soifon broken and beaten again and now her princess was broken like porcelain.

She washed Soifon off and put a t-shirt and some pants. The ambulance had come and took Soifon away. Yoruichi now sat in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for a doctor's verdict, they were worried about something. Bambietta had done something else…something worse. A doctor finally approached her. "Are you her…girlfriend, Yoruichi?"

"Yes" She replied

"It's…" he looked at his chart and shook his head "Soifon has been…brutalised; preliminary tests conclude the damage is too great. Soifon will never be able to conceive a child"

"…what?" Yoruichi said staring at him "Her arm and ankle were broken, that was it!"

"No…" He said something wooden had been used to…violate her, multiple splinters have been pulled from her but the damage is too great"

"I see" Yoruichi said. She turned and wiped another nosebleed. Hear heart beat heavily, what has happened? Why did Bambietta do this? What did Soifon ever do to her? Yoruichi looked at her phone. It's been twelve hours. School would be starting soon…

Yoruichi walked slowly out of the hospital and got into her car. She drove calmly toward the school. On top she looked calm but anyone who looked into her eyes would be struck dumb by rage burning like hellfire in her eyes. She stopped at the school and got out of her car and locked it. Tuesday's first class was English, with Bambietta.

Yoruichi walked precisely and serenely to the class. Byakuya hadn't got there yet, the class shouted and threw stuff at each other. Bambietta stood at the head of the class pretending to be Byakuya. The smarter pupils saw Yoruichi and noticed the look in her eyes as she entered the class and prepared for something they'd never forget.

Her calmness dissolved as Bambietta noticed her. Her mouth opened for a snide remark but it never left her mouth as Yoruichi rammed her fist into her face so hard her head slammed the blackboard shattering it. Bambietta chuckled with a mouth full of broken teeth. Yoruichi pulled her up and drove her fist into her ribs shattering them with each devastating blow. After the third Bambietta no longer laughed but cried and choked up blood.

"You've taken something from me" Yoruichi said grabbing Bambietta's hand "now I'm gonna take something from you" She twisted hard. The bones and ligaments broke and ripped with a sickening crunch. She wasn't done, this hand was coming off.

Someone grabbed her and pulled her back but she slipped the grip. She didn't have long to inflict as much damage to Bambietta as she could. "You think Soifon beat you" Yoruichi said as she slammed her foot into Bambietta's knee which also shattered. "You ain't seen nothin yet" She said "an eye for an eye" She aimed a kick. She swung her leg as hard as she could toward Bambietta's groin. Her foot stopped short. Shinji Hirako and Byakuya both restrained her.

"What are you doing, Yoruichi" Shinji said "you're trying to kill a sixteen year old girl"

"Why aren't you in mourning" Byakuya said

"My father died a few days ago" Yoruichi said "I don't mourn that much"

"No" He said "Neliel Tu Odelswanck. She's dead"

Well…fuck!

***End of Chapter Fifteen***

**Now the shortest chapter folks but I must say I wrote it very fast. I have to admit I like it, obviously the theme isn't very nice but it's a good twist I think. **


	16. Chapter 16: Sides

Yoruichi paced her cell. It was so stupid, for the first time in eight years she let her temper get the better of her and now Bambietta's father was raising hell, he held enough scorn for Yoruichi after…_her_ but now she's beat his daughter to within an inch of her life he was out for her neck and he was gonna goddamn get it! It was already the talk of the station that recently deceased Nel's best buddy has just kicked a teenagers head in and now was in the pens in the other room. Apparently Nel's death was 'Suspicious'. Yoruichi was too angry at Bambietta to be upset about Nel. The doors opened and the tall blonde man she lived next to came in. Was he a lawyer?

"Hi there" he said looking at her coldly "You've committed a serious crime, Miss Shihouin and you'll go to prison for as long as I can get"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Jugram Haschwald" He said. He looked out the door. "Also Stern Ritter 'B', you've attacked one of our sisters…you will be buried"

"Stern Ritter?" Yoruichi said "Is that an 80's electro band?"

"No" he said staring at her "I thought you knew who they were"

"Nope" Yoruichi said staring back at him. She would play stupid…for now.

"Well we're…"

"Jugo!" Another man said coming in. He stared at him "What're…watch'a doing?"

"Uh…" He turned "Chief…Sojun"

"Why are you here?" He said "you're narcotics"

"Apologies, Nel was a good friend I wanted to question her"

"I see" Sojun said he stared at Haschwald for at least ten seconds "…why are you still here?"

"Apologies" he said backing out of the room. Sojun watched him leave and turned to Yoruichi.

"My, my, my" he said smiling at her "you look so much like your mother"

"I have to say Byakuya looks a lot like you" Yoruichi said smiling at him. Sojun Kuchiki was one of the nicest men she'd ever met, she believed he'd abandon his 'Clan' in a second if it meant saving the life of anyone.

"You've crossed a dangerous line" Sojun said looking slightly sad. "I'd hoped I'd never see you here again"

"I…" Yoruichi sat on the bench and stared at her hands "I fucked up…I should'a waited 'till after school and got her then"

"I hope that was a joke, Yoruichi" He said "you're in serious trouble"

"Trouble?" Yoruichi said "Trouble!" She yelled at him "that bitch should be hanging from the goddamn gallows"

"I do not understand" Sojun said looking slightly perplexed "has something else happened?"

"She…" Yoruichi felt tears well up "I can't even say it, what she did to Soifon…even you'll want to hurt her"

"Explain what has happened"

"I can't say it" Yoruichi said "just go to Soifon at the hospital"

"Very well" he said "we've lost a very skilled detective and a budding youngling with lots of raw talent once this has blown over perhaps you could form a coalition with us?"

"I'll think about it" Yoruichi said "can I look into it?"

"What?"

"Nel's death" Yoruichi replied

"Very well" He said "you know…knew her better than anyone"

"Thank you" Yoruichi said. She watched him leave. God she'd really done it now. She'd wanted to be the first person Soifon saw when she woke up…now she's gonna be furious when she wakes up!

***Change +two hours***

Sojun crossed his arms. He found it difficult to remain a pacifist when he learnt of innocent young girls being brutalised but when he saw her it broke his heart. She currently sat on her bed staring…that was all she did. A psychologist had deemed her completely incapable of thought, she was unresponsive and pretty much brain dead. The lights were on but nobody's home.

He clenched his fists and shook his head. He'd be able to severely reduce Yoruichi's sentence, maybe even just get her community service. Her girlfriend had just been thrown into madness by a sick and brutal assault not to mention her father and best friend's had just died. Emotionally unstable was the best plea to make even though he knew Yoruichi was thinking very clearly when she smashed Bambietta like beer bottle in a bar fight.

Poor young girl…

***Change + another five hours***

Soifon just sat there…she was like a computer with its operating system taken out she was useless in every way. The door opened and someone strolled in. The Mastermind was feeling slightly sorry for Soifon and wished to test if their psychology was as good as they'd hoped it was. "Hi, Soifon" The Mastermind said. They walked up to her and lightly put their hand on her head keeping it still. "It's me …" A siren wailed outside draining out the next words…go figure! "Do you remember me?"

Soifon twitched a little in reply. "Excellent" The mastermind grinned "now in 3-2-1 I'll put you into a deep hypnosis, I've been setting up you for hypnosis since we met. This touch here" The Mastermind prodded the back of Soifon's hand which broke her from her stupor. Soifon stared at them. "You?" Soifon said

"Hi" The Mastermind said "3-2-1, sleep" they touched the back of Soifon's hand. She slouched forward. The Mastermind embraced Soifon in a tight hug. "Forgive me Soifon, I never meant for you to fall prey to Bambietta but I've got a little something that'll cheer you right up!" they said "Now, your mind is like a computer's hard drive, do you understand?"

"I do" Soifon said "Toshiro said hard drives are like human brains except you can't knowingly delete stuff in them"

"Oh dear" The Mastermind said "that's where he's wrong, I can delete memories but they can still be recovered"

"Toshiro said hard drives are like human brains except you can't knowingly delete stuff in them" Soifon said almost like a robot. It was starting, The Masterminds technique was like getting into a computers 'DOS' system which was like the coding in the computer, basically DOS was the last piece of software between the person and the processor. They could delete the memory but at a small cost…Soifon will still feel…sad, she won't know why but she'll be upset….maybe it was only a theory, this might not work at all. Goddammit! The Mastermind thought to themselves…"I'm such a genius, did you know I'd have like…ninety Nobel prises?"

"You've said" said The Mastermind's assistant. They stood in the corner watching eagerly, their assistant had helped develop this technique and was quite the prodigy themselves!

"I did" The Mastermind said "but I love the sound of my own voice"

"Toshiro said hard drives are like human brains except you can't knowingly delete stuff in them" Soifon droned

"Shut up" The Mastermind snapped. "Now…waves, curtains, shields, blankets, fence, gate, walls, clothes"

"Toshiro said hard drives are like human brains except you can't knowingly delete stuff in them"

"What happened after school on Monday?"

"Bambietta. She…"

"No she didn't, that didn't happen…you can't remember" The Mastermind said

"Toshiro said hard drives are like human brains except you can't knowingly delete stuff in them"

"What happened to you on Monday?"  
"I… found out Ichigo was batman"

"Ichigo Kurosaki is the vigilante?" The Mastermind said. That was new! They'd briefly looked for the vigilante, they may have been useful but they'd got bored and left it.

"Toshiro said hard drives are like human brains except you can't knowingly delete stuff in them"

"You can still re-remember this memory so I'm going to put a small wall that cannot be opened unless you feel something" The Mastermind said. They touched the back of Soifon's hand and then leaned close to her. "Let's see what Yoruichi loves you for" The Mastermind kissed Soifon, her lips were nice and soft like a young lady's lips should be. The kiss should last nineteen seconds. They ran their tongue up the right side of Soifon's tongue. The Mastermind pulled away. "Your turn" The Mastermind said.

The Assistant leaned forward and took Soifon into a nice looking kiss. "Nineteen seconds and run your tongue up the left side of her tongue after ten"

"Done" The Assistant said pulling away.

"Goodbye Soifon" The Mastermind said placing a light kiss on her forehead. "I truly am sorry this has happened to you. Now 1-2-3 you're in a deep sleep"

Soifon fell back into her bed and snored loudly as REM activated. "When we get home" The Mastermind said "we're doing it doggy style"

***Change***

Toshiro sat with his arms crossed as the rest of the Buddies and 'lodgers' as they were called argued amongst themselves. Renji and Shuhei had been deeply affected by Soifon's demise and were literally baying for blood. Nanao and Momo had tried to talk them out of it but it wasn't working, it fact it was making them worse.

Toshiro would have to admit, he was after Bambietta's neck too. Soifon was somewhat kindred to him; she was a lonely teenager from a crappy background that'd been shown a real good time by an extroverted millionaire. She was almost like the big sister he'd never had…except he had a slight crush on her. Not as much as Momo, Momo was his goddess. One of these days he'd ask her out. Briefly he'd had a crush on Bambietta too. Something about the mean girl at school aroused him more that it probably should've. After seeing those videos, however, he couldn't be more against the thought of sleeping with her and now she'd crossed the line and the Kotowari Centre was about to be called to war.

Ukitake and Kyoraku sat saying nothing only listening to the opinions of the buddies. "What about the other stuff?" Kira said "if we raise our heads as a player in this game we'll be noticed by Aizen, The Mastermind and The Stern Ritter"

"Aizen needs to fall" Toshiro said "no one man should have all that power"

"So you know what he wants?" Ukitake said

"yeah" Toshiro replied "and unlike everyone else I know where it is"

"Oh yeah?" Kyoraku said "where is it?"

"Can I trust everyone in this room?" Toshiro said. Hiyori looked at Hanataro who looked at Momo who looked at Renji who looked at Matsumoto…'s tits, Matsumoto looked at Shuhei who looked a Nanao who looked at Kira. They all eventually nodded.

"Soifon has the Hogyoku" Toshiro said

"Soifon!?" Ukitake said "I never realised it was right under my nose"

"Why do you think Soifon was put in here?" Toshiro said "Ryuu Shihouin made sure of it, I've seen the records, the donations he'd made to fund the WISH programme, he even called Nel to the liquor store that Soifon was gonna rob"

"How did he set that up" Kira said "it must've been impossible to get the timing for that right"

"No" Toshiro said "Ryuu Shihouin has a unique gift that only one other person has"  
"What's that?"

"Foresight" Toshiro said "Aizen shares a similar ability but he seems to be even better"

"Everyone has foresight Kyoraku said

"Not in the sense I'm talking" Toshiro explained "The way Ryuu thinks is like a massive string web of information, he could see actions and reactions with uncanny skill"

"So Aizen is our main threat?" Renji said

"I don't know" Toshiro said "I don't know what the Stern Ritter are doing and I don't know why the Mastermind is toying with Yoruichi, Aizen and the Stern Ritter"

"What are you gonna do?" Ukitake said, he seemed quite angry "are you gonna buy some guns and do some drive-bys, huh? You're just kids this scene isn't as glorious as you think it is"

"I thought you were in the army" Nanao said "how should you know?"

"It was a lie, obviously" Ukitake said "we were gangsters just like Ryuu Shihouin and Longwei Feng"

"So" Toshiro smiled "The Northern and Southern dragons awaken finally"

"Don't patronise us" Ukitake said "we went to sleep for a reason…"

"What's that supposed to mean"

"You don't want to know" Ukitake said "Longwei and Ryuu were thinkers…and we were the fighters Longwei and Ryuu killed four Espada in one sitting. When we go off…nothing survives"  
"You love to blow your own trumpet eh!" said a voice. Everyone looked around.

"What was that?" Ukitake said looking around

"Under the cushion" The voice said "Hmm Matsumoto's ass smells nice"

"Eww" Toshiro muttered as Matsumoto jumped off of the sofa and looked under the cushion. She picked up a device that looked like a Dictaphone with a mobile phone attached to it. "I take it you're the mastermind"

"Bingozy!" The Mastermind said "damn it, damn it, damn it I'm SO HARD RIGHT NOW!"

"What do you want?" Ukitake snapped

"Huh…" The Mastermind seemed to stop for thought "I don't really know…I just felt like having a chat. I was thinking of changing from the Mastermind to something else…y'know Mastermind is a tad…pretentious"

"We don't have time for this" Ukitake said

"Interrupt me again Jushiro and I'll strip the skin from your back sow it together and strangle you with it"

"Kisuke theorised that The Mastermind had a split personality" Toshiro said "One is very aggressive and vulgar and the other is calm, considerate and calculating"

"Oh…" The Mastermind said "you think it's a split personality?"

"Yes"

"Maybe there are two of me?"

"You're too vain to allow someone else to be in the spotlight"

"Do you know what happened to the last person who tried to push me into a corner?" The Mastermind said "I made him shoot one of his best friends"

"Tell me what your plan is" Kyoraku said

"I intend to manipulate Aizen and the Stern Ritter into a war and whilst they are having their dick fighting competition I'll steal the Oken and bring the entire world to a stop, it'll be the apocalypse"

"That was easy" Kyoraku muttered

"I see" Toshiro said. He knew this was a lie, the Mastermind never gave straight answers, and sometimes there were half-truths but never fully.

"No you don't" The Mastermind said "Your feeble, child mind can't physically, mentally, logically contrive to conceive the information I possess!"

"Okay" Toshiro said

"Goodbye" The Mastermind said "By the way…I seen that Candice Catnipp died in the attack, such a shame, she was a member of the Stern Ritter…now… if said Stern Ritter were to find out who killed her what do you think would happen to them?"

"They'd probably be killed" Ukitake said

"Along with most of their family…don't Kukaku's breasts look really big these days…and she's been sick too"

"I don't understand"

"Bye!"

The devices fizzed and Matsumoto threw it away just as it burst into a thousand little plastic shards. "So" Toshiro said "what now?"

"Bide our time" Ukitake said "The Kotowari centre will join this game and we'll win it"

***Change***

Kukaku groaned and threw the piece of plastic away. She flushed the toilet and walked out of the bathroom. Kisuke was nowhere near getting over having to kill Nel. He was a broken man. He just sat, drank and daydreamed. Kukaku had left Kenpachi in charge of the bar whilst she took a break upstairs.

"I'm…" Kisuke eventually said "I'm gonna turn myself in"

"What?" Kukaku said "you can't, you know the Stern Ritter will want to avenge Candice, they'll kill you"

"And I deserve it" He said "I'm a horrible person"

"No you're not, dude your back was against the wall, there was nothing else you could've done"

"I can't live knowing what I've done Kukaku" Kisuke took off his hat and threw it across the room. It comically whizzed around like a Frisbee. "I'm leaving"

"No!" Kukaku said "You can't leave me, I thought you said we'd be lovers forever"  
"Nothing lasts forever" Kisuke said "some of us…will never sleep again"

"Shut up" Kukaku said "come back and think this through"

"No" He said "I wasn't much of a man anyway, I couldn't keep Yoruichi entertained and now I'm boring you, I can see it in your eyes, we don't make _love_ anymore"  
"Stop!" She said one more time "Don't go Kisuke I love you"

"No you don't" He said opening the door

"Damn it" She said "I missed my period"

He stopped but didn't look back. "I took a test…it's positive"

"Positive?" He said sounding slightly confused. He turned "I'm gonna…be a…daddy?"

"Yes" Kukaku said. Kisuke grinned broadly.

"I'm gonna be a daddy!" He wailed grabbing her into a strong hug.

"Hey" Kukaku said "I don't even know if I'm gonna keep it"

"Of course you are" He said "we'll build a cradle and take it out for strolls on the beach"

"Are you…alright?"

"And if it's a girl I'll chase away boyfriends and if it's a boy you'll chase away girlfriends" He smiled down at her "I love you, Kukaku"

"I…love you too, Kisuke" She said. She kissed him softly.

This wasn't the end of this Kukaku dauntedly thought. If the Stern Ritter find out it was Kisuke they'll string Kukaku and her unborn child from the rafters. But no one knew…right?

***Change***

Juha Bach stared at Gisselle Gewelle. She sat in the principal's office. "So" He said

"Am I in trouble?" She asked

"Not at all" He said "Bambietta was viciously assaulted on school ground, these things don't happen for no reason"

"You think Bambietta is to blame?"

"Partly" Juha said "She's making our organisation lag"

"Organisation?"

"You don't know?" he said looking at her

"What?"

"I'm Stern Ritter 'A'" He said

"Wha…" She stared at him

"It's true" He said "why do you think I call Bambietta to the principal's office so often?"

"I see" Gisselle said "it makes sense"  
"You are a bright girl, Gisselle" He said looking at her recent report card "I know 'Z' sounds like the weakest designation to gain but we all have our part to play"

"I always thought 'Z' was pretty cool, it makes people wonder if I'm the leader of a brief moment"

"Anyway" he said "Bambietta is rising for a fall, she's stepped on too many toes, I have told her countless times to stop her sadism and lie low as you youths put it"

"I find it quite fascinating" Gisselle said "how low she can sink without feeling bad in the slightest"

"However" Juha said "Bambietta is about to be deranked, it's became apparent that there is a video of her committing bestiality that one of our enimies has, we have to sever all ties we have with Bambietta and the Basterbine family"

"Why are you telling me this?" Gisselle said

"Why do you think?" He said "You may be her replacement, how does running the Amity/Basterbine Rail and Glass incorporation?"

"How do I do that, I am neither a Basterbine nor Amity?"

"Will"

"What?"

"We assassinate Hans Basterbine" He said "The company goes to Bambietta, hopefully The Mastermind will play into our hands and release the tape then, to make her fall when she's at the highest, then we'll stage her suicide and make a final will for her to leave her entire fortune and company to her best friend Gisselle Gewelle"

"I understand" Gisselle said

"Also" He smiled "do you wish to give a speech at Candice's Memorial Day?"  
"I thought about it but…I dunno what to say" Gisselle said "she used to be just like me…having 'fun' with the boys in the bathrooms but when she met that detective she got quiet and reserved"

"I can write you something if you wish"

"No I'll think of something" Gisselle said "there is also another problem"

"What?"

"My…" She paused "Liltotto was attacked the other day there"

"Who by?"

"She doesn't know" Gisselle said "they called themselves…Bounts"

[End of Chapter sixteen]

**Okay, okay, okay I know…not very much happened in this chapter but what the hey! After this it's gonna brighten up. Two questions for anyone that wan't to write a review *cough* Shadow *cough* who do you think the Mastermind is? If you know for sure do NOT state how you found out 'cause it'll spoil it for everyone else and number two what do you think Grimmjow's Pantera is?**

**I'm surprised that no one has guessed correctly who the Mastermind is, I have literally written who it was twice…well once was a vague reference but the other…**

**Also! The problem with writing a fanfic with the manga characters in is that the manga is still going. In bleach, every arc, there is a kind of traitor… Hanataro, Ukitake, Kyoraku and Kenpachi all helped Ichigo in SS arc, Nel and her fraccion helped in Hueco Mundo so in my infinite wisdom I guessed…a random stab in the dark that Candice would be the helper of the 1000 year blood war…this obviously is not the case 'cause as of chapter 558 she's proper 'children of the corn' along with the rest of the Bambietta squad. That's why I killed her off and not because I read a part of chapter 5*mumble* wrong where it says Candice likes to have fun with dudes…she can't be a lesbian if she has fun with dudes now can she?**

** Also the bounts…oh yeah! But seriously I'll kill them all of in a single chapter later…soon you can expect some hilarity, some action and a bit of development for Ichigo batman!**


	17. Chapter 17: Snake

**Who is the Mastermind? Or better yet …should you care who he/She is?**

"Stand!" the guard demanded. Yoruichi sat up and stared at him.

"What time is it?"

"Shut up o'clock" The guard said unlocking her door "bails been posted you're out but don't leave the island you hear?"

"Okay" Yoruichi said standing up and walking through the door as he opened it. "So who bailed me out?"

"This guy" He said pointing through the open door. Yoruichi looked through to see Ryo slouched on a chair with his hands in his pockets.

"About damn time" He muttered

"Ryo?"

"Oh hey, you remember my name" Ryo said

"No need to get snippy" Yoruichi said "you're the one that disappeared, no phone calls you never even replied to my Facebook messages"

"I never saw them…"

"Yes you did!" Yoruichi said "It says underneath them if you've seen it or not"

"Cry me a river" He said standing up. "C'mon I need to talk to you about…"  
"The Mastermind?"

"Why is everyone so hard about the Mastermind?" Ryo exclaimed "the best possible thing you could be doing about the Mastermind is ignoring her"

"Her?"

"Yeah" Ryo said "I've heard their real voice…or at least one of them, the vulgar aggressive one is a female"

"How?"

"None of your business" Ryo said "anyway, I need to talk about Tier Harribel"

"She killed dad" Yoruichi said

"I know" He replied "at this moment Tier Harribel is located in the Ochita District"

"Why are you telling me this?" Yoruichi asked as she filled out forms that people kept giving her.

"Tier Harribel poses a threat whilst I am distracted"

"What are you doing?"

"None of your business" He said "looking for Shangri La"

"I see" Yoruichi said. Shangri La was Ryo's way of saying 'I can't tell you here it's too sensitive'

"What are you gonna wear to the funeral?" Ryo said

"Dunno" Yoruichi said "something black obviously"

"Nah" Ryo laughed "you haven't read his will then"

"He left his manor to you and the money to me that's all I know" Yoruichi said

"He says at the funeral no one should be dressed in black as its 'Depressing' and his funeral should be a celebration of his life rather than sadness for his death"

"Really?"

"Yep" Ryo said "you should wear that summer dress of mom's he liked that on you"

"I can't wear that" Yoruichi said "when mom died he said it made him sad to see me in it, I think it'd be disrespectful"  
"Suit yourself" Ryo said "Nel too, huh?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "I never would've thought Nel'd be the next to go"

"I thought it'd be me" Ryo said "I was convinced it'd be me"

"I miss her already" Yoruichi said "she was always there, always helping even though we always trampled all over her"

"Yeah" Ryo laughed "we probably could've been better friends to her"

Yoruichi filled out the last of the forms and made her way out of the Police Department with Ryo. "Can we make a stop at the hospital?"

"Yeah" He said "I heard about Soifon, damn Basterbines"

"She's worse than Hans" Yoruichi said "I presume you've not bought any info about her?"

"Not really" He said chuckling "I'm not into jailbait"

"That's not what I hear" Yoruichi chuckled stepping into the passenger seat of his car. Ryo always liked BMW's, today he had a white BMW M6.

"She never told me her age, damn it" Ryo scowled at her

"What made you think she was over eighteen?"

"I dunno" He said shrugging "She said she was over eighteen and I believed her…I was really horny, okay, I was weak and I had sex with a seventeen year old schoolgirl…sue me"

"There are plenty of people who would" Yoruichi said "when was this?"

"About a year ago"

"What!" Yoruichi said staring at him

"Hey don't look at me like that" He said "She was really convincing, how often do you get bitches with double d's in high school?"

"I don't know" Yoruichi said "I don't really care either. What was her name?"

"I dunno, Menos or Mezzanine or something"

"…Meninas?"

"Yeah!" He said laughing "that was is it!"

"Did you know she was a member of the goddamn Stern Ritter!?"

"…no" he said he stared at her "…seriously?"

"Yes"

"Christ" He muttered "you could do with booking that plot next to dad then"

"You're unbelievable" Yoruichi said "I thought you'd stopped fucking everything that walked years ago"

"Oh now, now" Ryo laughed "I was just as lonely as you in school, we both had our releases"

"Whatever" Yoruichi replied. He turned a corner and Yoruichi sighed as she saw the hospital. Soon she'd get to comfort Soifon. She must be devastated; Soifon was quite a logical though…she may not be as sad as a straight girl would be. After all…Yoruichi can still conceive a child, Yoruichi found herself shocked that she'd be more than happy to conceive a child for Soifon. They had only been going out for five months; she hadn't even considered popping the Question.

Ryo pulled into the car park and they made their way up into the reception. Yoruichi knew where Soifon was so she didn't need to ask. Yoruichi found the door and opened it. She stared at Soifon's empty bed. Soifon stood with one of her arms in a crutch looking out of the window. She looked at Yoruichi and then Ryo. "Yo" She said "Where've you been?"

"Uh…" Yoruichi scratched the back of her head "Jail"

"Why?"

"I…kicked Bambietta half to death yesterday" Yoruichi said

Soifon stared at her "…why?"

"What do you mean why?" Yoruichi said

"I want to ask you a question" Soifon said "uh…why am I here?"

"You've been attacked" Yoruichi said "you've forgot?"

"Yes" Soifon said "The Mastermind forced me to forget"

"The Mastermind?" Yoruichi said "you've seen their face?"

"No…" Soifon said "I can't remember seeing anything it's all just a blur of whites, greens and yellows"

"Strange"

"But I do remember hearing them" Soifon said

"What did they say?"

"Nothing particularly interesting" Soifon said

"Why would the Mastermind help Soifon?" Ryo asked

"I don't know" Yoruichi said "I'm starting to think the Mastermind isn't a bad guy"

"Why?"

"Well, think about it" Yoruichi said "the Mastermind has never actually hindered us only helped"

"Maybe" Ryo said "like I said I've got bigger fish to fry than the Mastermind"

"What happened to me?" Soifon asked "I'm guessing since I…hurt…down there" she put her hand on her stomach "was I raped?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "Bambietta…" she scoffed and turned her back

"A mallet handle" Soifon said

"What?"

"It was the first thing I could think of" Soifon said "It just popped to mind"  
"Well they did say it was wooden" Yoruichi said "don't think about it, in fact don't speak of it again, if you can't remember then that's good enough for me"

"Understood" Soifon said "I'd rather not know anyway…wait did you say you beat up Bambietta?"

"Uh… yeah" Yoruichi said

"What the hell?" Soifon snapped "what are you thinking; she gets worse the more you beat her up"

"Heh" Ryo laughed "She even beat her up in front of all your peers"

"Oh god" Soifon groaned "Everyone is going to be talking about this"

"Who cares" Yoruichi said

"Was any of her clique there?" Soifon asked "Candice would've been so conflicted" she chuckled

"Erm" Yoruichi said "Candice is dead"

"…what?"

"She died" Yoruichi said "so is Nel"

"Oh…" Soifon stared out the window "…are you sure?" she seemed confused

"Yes" Yoruichi said. She really felt the hole Nel had left in her.

"I'm not as sad as I'd thought I'd be" Soifon said "anyway, how did they die?"

"Murdered" Yoruichi said "a young boy witnessed it he said Mr Hat and Clogs did it"

"Who the hell is Mr Hat and Clogs?" Soifon said "don't tell me we've got another prick with a stupid name"

"I've got a feeling I know" Yoruichi said "and I hope to god above that I'm wrong"

"You know you're not" Ryo said "Meditate"

"Are you sure?" Yoruichi said "I don't have all the evidence; I might build the wrong picture if I meditate"

"Meditate?" Soifon said

"Yes" Ryo said "Yoruichi can't just use the string web foresight like me and my father can she has to meditate to go into it but she's much more…prevalent with it"

"I want to take a look inside Candice's house" Soifon said "In case there is anything evidence-y"

"I see" Yoruichi said "I'll come with you; we'll check Candice's house and then Nel's"

"Yeah" Ryo said "I'm gonna call Meninas, she's over eighteen now, I might try and get another ride"

"You're ridiculous" Yoruichi said "…thanks for bailing me out"

"Don't mention it" Ryo said "you've done it for me more than once"

Ryo disappeared out the door. Yoruichi stood beside Soifon and stared out the window. "It's all going down now, isn't it?" Yoruichi said wrapping her arm around her.

"Yeah" Soifon said "Yet again I'm injured and on the side-lines"

"Don't beat yourself up" Yoruichi said "you've got other people to do that for you"

"That's not funny" Soifon said chuckling "C'mon, I want to get out of here"

"They'll let you go?"

"Don't know and don't care" Soifon said "I went all the way across town, climbed a tall boat and fought a serial killer with a massive hole in my chest I think I can handle a broken ankle and arm, I only need one crutch"

"Suit yourself" Yoruichi said "I am the one that pays your medical bills"

"I've seen your bank about details, you've got eight hundred million in there"

"Actually now that dad is dead I'm worth roughly 1.5 billion"

"That's a lot of money" Soifon said "I can't even conceive all things you can buy with it"

"Don't speak like that" Yoruichi said feeling her heart pick up its pace. All she ever wanted to do with money was spend it on herself and people she loved to make them as comfortable as possible but she always went overboard and finished up with no money and one hell of an overdraft.

Leaving the hospital Yoruichi realised Soifon was quite the expert at walking with a crutch, her brothers must've really disliked her legs… "Where's your car?" Soifon asked twirling her keys in her finger.

"Still at Shin'o Academy" Yoruichi pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She faced Soifon. "Will you stop twirling those keys?"

"Why?" Soifon said "what's with this key ring by the way, everyone seems to freak out when I show it to them"

"Who have you shown it to?"

"You, Urahara, Yamamoto and Toshiro"

"I see" Yoruichi said "do you know what it is?"

"I've got a funny feeling I do" Soifon said staring at it "it's that thing everyone is looking for isn't it"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "The Hogyoku"

A Key word

***Change***

The screen of Ulquiorra's computer flashed again as someone mentioned 'Hogyoku' something had been blocking Pesquisa from working but now it was gone, wherever it was had a time limit and it had now ran out. He looked through the nearest camera to where 'Hogyoku' was mentioned. Yoruichi Shihouin's cell phone camera and right there, filling up the entire camera in Shaolin Feng's hand…The Hogyoku. Aizen would be pleased…

***Change Soifon's POV***

They'd called a cab to pick them up and take them to Yoruichi's car. From there they drove to Candice's house. Candice had given Soifon her address and said only to come if it was absolutely necessary. She'd never even been to this area of Seireitei never mind went to Candice's house. Yoruichi parked outside the nice wooden house. On the porch a dog stared at them curiously.

Yoruichi got out and went over to the door and opened it for Soifon. "Come on I'm not a cripple" Soifon said. She hated it when people thought they needed to help her

"Yes you are" Yoruichi said closing the door once she was out. Soifon sighed, she really hated depending on people, they always let her down but Yoruichi was a different woman than that, she was in no hurry to abandon her. It'd gotten to a point where Soifon couldn't even imagine life without her.

"So we just tell her parents…what?" Soifon said

"We tell them the truth, we're PI's and wish to look into their daughter's death" Yoruichi said "I want to see the coroner's report, so after Nel we're going back to the PD"

"Alright" Soifon said as Yoruichi walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. Soifon limped up the stairs and stood beside her. She'd have to remember and thank Momo for bringing clothes for her to wear; she knew Soifon didn't like those stupid gowns they made her wear.

The door was opened by a tall blonde woman; she looked a little like Candice but was nowhere near as attractive. "Hello" Yoruichi said "I'm called Yoruichi Shihouin I am a detective looking into your daughter's death, I was hoping now wasn't a bad time to have a look through her stuff in case she knew her killer"

"A detective?" She said staring at her "not one of that…'Nel's' friends?"

"We knew each other" Yoruichi said "why so much contempt for her name?"

"She turned our baby girl into the path of darkness, she is a heathen!" She said

"Okay" Yoruichi said nodding her head and flashing Soifon a sideways glance

"I don't see why you need to find the killer anyway, they did the world a favour of getting rid of two of those devils!"

"Its opinions like that that make this country what it is, god bless you ma'am" Yoruichi said without a hint of humour in her eyes.

"Clara" Said a man behind her "what are you doing?"

"These people are detectives and they are investigating…her"

"Candice?" he said "she's your daughter, she's my daughter…" he shook his head and pulled the door open to let Yoruichi and Soifon in. He stared at Soifon "what happened to you?"

"Do you know that gargoyle on 33rd street?" Soifon said

"C'mon" Yoruichi said "We've not got all day"

"I'll show you to her room" He said. When they were out of earshot of Candice's mother he said "Clara is very upset about Candice's life choices, I don't mind as much but it's a little disappointing, I'm sure you understand, if you had a daughter and she decided to completely abandon her faith to live a life of inequity"

"So you both are Christian?"

"Yes" He said "but I don't like to judge people like Clara does, the only person that should be judging our little girl is God"

"You have a wisdom that not a lot of Christians boast" Yoruichi said

"I don't make many friends at church but people are entitled to their own opinions, isn't it a bit oxymoronic to say God creates us in his image and then spurn and criticize others for how they act or look?" He sighed as he came to a door with a pink sign nailed to the door saying 'Keep out! Only Cool people allowed' Yoruichi turned and looked at Soifon.

"You see the sign, you're gonna have to sit outside" She grinned. Soifon raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Try not to break anything" He said and looked away from the door "I'll leave you to it"

"Thanks" Yoruichi said opening the door. Soifon looked inside; it looked exactly as she'd thought it would. The bedroom of a popular teenage girl but it wasn't right, like it was merely a façade. Candice obviously feigned her personality to Bambietta in such a grand scale even her bedroom was decorated just to fool her into thinking she was materialistic like her and the others.

"It's a cosy room" Yoruichi said "a bit too pink for me"

"I know" Soifon said. Pink curtains (drapes), pink carpet and to round it off a pink lampshade making her room have nice cosy pink glow to it. Despite being very tomboyish Soifon had few problems with the colour pink. Yoruichi looked through Candice's bookshelf. Mostly teenage fiction, Twilight, Hunger games, Harry potter and the Mortal Instruments. "She likes a bit of romance" Yoruichi said

"Teenage fiction these days I'm afraid" Soifon said

"What happened to Goosebumps and Point Horror?"

"They got lame when a little thing called Twilight and Harry Potter came along"  
"They'd never defeat Goosebumps in terms of pure cheesiness, you can't beat them, I've got all 62 books at home"

"You're so lame" Soifon said

"You'd know if you'd actually been in my apartment" Yoruichi said

"Oh don't start this again!" Soifon said. Soifon had never, in their five month-she was going to say dating but they'd never been on a date, they just either had passionate sex or sat snuggling-she'd never been inside Yoruichi's apartment. She didn't know why, she always was busy doing something when Yoruichi wanted her to come over.

Soifon picked up Candice's phone…why didn't she have it when she died? She unlocked it and looked through the Texts. One message from Bambietta: **Hey, cum 2 th s8ing rink Im bored**. Soifon almost laughed. She couldn't imagine Bambietta doing something as generic as ice-skating. Then she remembered Bambietta was a figure skating champion. "Check out these iPod songs" Yoruichi said "I found this behind her books by the way"

"Behind them?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "Anyway, she has Motorhead, Whitenake, Scorpions, Blue Oyster Cult, and Metallica"

"Woo" Soifon said "Mullet rock"

"You gotta love Candice" Yoruichi chuckled "Blonde, materialistic cheerleader on the outside, lesbian rock chick detective inside. Hey" Yoruichi said still scrolling through her iPod. "Not just Classic Rock, she's got some Gorrilaz here, Blur too and Eels, My Chemical Romance…RIP you magnificent sons of bitches"

"They aren't dead" Soifon said "they just split up"

"They're dead to me!" Yoruichi said her eyes filling up with tears. Soifon shook her head and went back to snooping through Candice's Facebook. It was so boring…was this what it was like to be popular? Candice was a cool chick, she must've been borderline suicidal or brain-dead around these drooling mouth breathers she called 'friends'. "Baby in time…you'll waaaaant to be mine" Yoruichi sang softly as she listened to Candice's music…wasn't that a little disrespectful?

Soifon looked under her bed. After a second she noticed a notepad between her mattress and the wooden planks of her bed frame. She pulled it out and inspected it. It was a diary. She flicked to the second last page that'd been filled out:

_July 13__th_

_So! I just discovered mom and dad know I'm seeing Nel…I don't care. Mom says I have three days to pack up my shit and get out, fuck her! If she doesn't like my life choices she can go visit grandmother in hell for all I care. I am, however, worried that the Stern Ritter are planning something huge, something that I'm gonna have to help in. This sucks major donkey penis… mind you, Bambietta is involved so it'll be sucking a lot more than donkey penis._

_ Anyway, school was alright today, Bambietta was up to her usual… I think she got off not doing her maths homework by giving Mr Inaba a blowjob in the bathrooms, she really is disgusting. She expects me to want to do this shit too! It's fucked up. Not that it matters two more months and Nel will have all the boxes ticked and we'll be millionaires sipping cero's on a sandy beach somewhere._

_ I got asked to the prom by Jayden today as well, why the hell did he think that was a good idea, man he goes out with Gisselle, she'd fucking kill me if she found out. And that's no word of a lie. I'm feeling even more isolated. Bambietta has got Gisselle and Liltotto into killing people to, they like it. Meninas also seems to be losing her grip on reality; Bambietta has really fucked up that girls head. She just stares like a freeking zombie half the time. _

_I guess that's all today…_

Soifon turned the page and noticed the page had wet patches as if the person writing it was crying as they wrote it.

_July 14__th_

_Goddammit I don't have much time, I don't know who'll read this hopefully someone on my side like Yoruichi or Soifon. It's a trick, it's all a massive elaborate fucking trick! I know who the Mastermind is. I know it'll seem difficult to believe but it's true, who had skipped through events of recent without being noticed or helping or hindering? Rangiku Matsumoto is the Mastermind, she's a monster. She's not alone either; she is being helped by that guy, that SNAKE from Aizen's. That's how they know everything that's going on Gin Ichimaru has Pesquisa! He sees me! I can't get away fast enough. I've called Nel, we're abandoning the plan and feeling the country, please god I want to live!_

_Forgive me._

Soifon stared at the page…Matsumoto? Really? Soifon thought back. Matsumoto hadn't ever really helped or hindered, she was always just…_there_! "Yoruichi!" Soifon handed the diary to her. Yoruichi quickly read. She stopped and looked at Soifon.

"Don't confront her" Yoruichi said "not yet, we need evidence"

"I agree" Soifon replied "it explains why the Mastermind isn't actually against us"

"I know, because they are on our side…or are they?" Yoruichi said. She grabbed her hair and groaned "I don't know what to think now"

"This is just information" Soifon said "just put it in the info pile and keep collecting evidence"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "good thinking, let's go to Nel's flat I want to know what this 'plan' is"

***Change***

Toshiro walked through the Kotowari centre, his arms laden with Matsumoto's laundry, she hadn't taken hers out of the tumble dryer so he had to pull all her stuff out and put his in. God that woman was lazy!

He walked to her door and opened it "Don't fuck up, I'm counting on him making a grab for it!" She said into a phone.

"Who you talking to?" Toshiro said walking into her room and tripping over a pair of panties and landing face first into more discarded clothes.

"A friend" she chuckled "what are you doing you little perv?" She laughed looking down at him. Her abnormal cleavage on show as usual.

"Perv?" he said "How about you take your damn clothes out of the dryer!"  
"Sorry" She said "I forgot"

"Whatever" He said "what are you doing on your laptop?" he stared at the screen, he had quite short vision so he couldn't particularly see but it looked like a database of some kind.  
"Oh nothing" She said "it's the leader board for an online game I like to play" she closed the laptop and shooed him out. "I hear Soifon is out of hospital"

"I know" Toshiro said "…what was that game… it looked fun"

"Uh…Starcraft"

"Oh" he said "I'll give that a play"

"You do that" She said and closed her door. Toshiro scowled and crossed his arms…that wasn't Starcraft. "Well...there goes the neighborhood." he smirked as he walked. "Matsumoto I know your game"

***End of Chapter Seventeen***

**Woot Matsumoto no way! I never would have guessed… and I wrote it. She's a snake in the grass am I rite! **

** Anyhoo, unlucky to Silver, Shadow and taka who all got it wrong…or did they? Sorry there isn't much Aizen action in this 'arc' but I'm wanting to kind of develop The Mastermind and then Aizen and then Juha and the Stern Ritter who you are still unclear of what they want… I also forgot about the Xcution and Vizard…they'll show uo but will they be good, bad…or just plain ugly?**


	18. Chapter 18: Hierro

Yoruichi turned and looked at Soifon. Soifon raised her eyebrows and implied toward the door. Yoruichi sighed and slid the key Nel gave her to her apartment back when they were lovers into the keyhole. Yoruichi turned it and the door clicked open. Yoruichi twisted the knob and it opened. Yoruichi felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. This whole case was rubbing her up the wrong way… Matsumoto? Why? What happened in her life that made her into the Mastermind? It didn't make sense.

Nel's curtains were always closed the lounge was dark so Yoruichi turned on a lamp. "Whoa" Soifon said looking at the Lego, toys and handmade models on the floor. Even a miniature railway was built, it weaved all over the apartment and at some points it was higher than Yoruichi's head. It was like a rollercoaster. A little train zipped around on the rails, doomed to forever roam without a master to control it anymore, without the innocence of a girl trapped in a woman's body to build it new paths to follow.

Yoruichi could feel the familiar lump in her throat as the train zipped past again. "It's…" Soifon stared in wonder at all the model planes dangling from the ceiling, there must've been over a hundred of them, all hand built and all hand painted. It must've taken months to assemble this collection. "Wonderful, it's like being inside the mind of someone without a care in the world, it makes me happy"

"It makes me sad" Yoruichi said "to know that the person who'd assembled the collection will no longer be there to take care of it, they'll just wilt like flowers left in the chilly atmosphere of winter"

The only bit of the room that didn't have a child's touch on it was a desk, a computer sat on it along with a few files. Yoruichi picked up a few of the files. She stared at a file of Matsumoto. Past crimes? Drug Dealing? A crime that was serious but they didn't fit the profile of this Mastermind. In Yoruichi's raw profile of The Mastermind was that it was a first time offender maybe in their thirties and with a lot of time to plan and plot this, they'd obviously had a position of power where they could easily manipulate people, someone trustworthy. A doctor maybe or teacher.

"Nel has a file on Matsumoto?" Yoruichi said "here" she handed it to Soifon who looked at it. Yoruichi woke up Nel's computer and looked through her internet history. Ebay… she was looking at a dictionary of Mythology. Strange… What else? She spent some time on Tumblr and Facebook and Twitter. Besides that the only thing that was odd was her visiting an airline website and looking at tickets to Costa Rica. She minimised the browser and looked at her Desktop icons…Spotify, Google Chrome, Malware Bytes, VLC, iTunes and BitTorrent…all regular things for an amateur computer user…besides Malware Bytes, that antivirus was a bit…expert.

On a hunch she clicked on Malware Bytes and silently cursed Windows Vista for asking conformation for every little thing she wanted to do. Only…this wasn't Malware Bytes…this was a folder full of word documents, very clever Nel. Yoruichi thought smiling. It was easy to change the name of a folder and only a tad more difficult, all it took was a little surf through the net, download Malware Bytes' logo and switch them and there you go a suspicion free hidden file…unless the person lingered over it and saw that the shortcut location was a folder rather than an .exe file.

She clicked on the most recent word document and stared at a diagram of a bank vault. Beneath it was typed:

Candice. Be sure to keep the people in the bank under wraps whilst I drill the door. Obviously Pesche and Dondochakka will help you but make sure you stop them getting too goofy. AND DON'T USE REAL NAMES! You will be Druid, I'll be Pict, Dondochakka will be Maori and Pesche will be Viking. Once we get the cash Dondochakka and Pesche will hide it in the morgue where they work and we'll. lay low, I presume you've got the alibi sorted. Besides this I think we're all ready, hopefully Matsumoto doesn't realise what we've got planned before we execute or she'll manipulate someone into getting rid of us. Good luck and I love you.

"So" Yoruichi said to Soifon "Nel was planning to rob a bank"  
"Uh…what?" Soifon said walking over. She quickly read the document. "Who are these…Dondochakka and Pesche?"

"I don't know, they work at the morgue, I bet they got a shock when their boss was dragged in" Yoruichi said. She tapped her chin with her finger; this was starting to make a little sense, Matsumoto obviously has some kind of surveillance programme like Pesquisa or Tsuppane…no, she has Pesquisa; Gin Ichimaru has access to it. It was making more sense…too much sense. Like when you're building a jigsaw and lots of pieces fit but the picture is all disjointed and crazy…maybe this jigsaw was a fractal one and she just wasn't appreciating the obscene art of it. Or maybe it'd make a clearer picture once she'd got more pieces…her mother always said not to count her chickens before they hatch.

"Should we go and talk to these guys?" Soifon said

"Yeah" Yoruichi said looking at her watch "they'll still be at work if we hurry"

"Alright" Soifon said "I really think this case is dodgy"

"I agree" Yoruichi said "c'mon…lot's to do"

***Change***

Ichigo…or as he was better known Zangetsu, sat on the corner on the roof of a tall building he could see all of the Seireitei from here. His cloak flapped in the light breeze. The Vampires were proving difficult to find but will find them and he will defeat them. He didn't know why he'd chosen Zangetsu. It just came to him one day.

His mobile phone rang and without even looking at the number he answered it. "Hello"

"Hey-ho there Ichigo or should I say…Zangetsu" said a grainy male voice

"Who is this?" he said looking around.

"They call me The Mastermind…but I want to rename myself Zigzag…I think that is an awesome name"

"Well then Zigzag what do you want?" Ichigo replied

"Yeah…don't call me Zigzag again…it's stupid" The Mastermind replied

"What do you want?"

"The Bounts…"

"The what's?"  
"Those Vampires you're looking for they are a cult called the Bounts" The Mastermind said "I happen to not like them too much either but I'm a little preoccupied at the moment"

"So we've got a common goal, are you aiming for some enemy of my enemy deal here?"

"Sort of" The Mastermind said "I can really help you, Ichigo; I know where they are located"

"Where?"  
"A manor" The Mastermind replied "just outside Seireitei"

"Why are you helping me?"

"I know something about Governor Aizen…he's evil"

"He seemed like a nice guy to me" Ichigo said

"You don't understand!" The Mastermind said "He's just this day found out that Shaolin Feng has an item called the Hogyoku, if he gets his hands on it he'll kill everyone"  
"Why does he want it?"

"Do you know what Hierro is?"

"No"

"Then it's pointless explaining" The Mastermind said "just know this…The Hogyoku can be used as fuel…it supposedly can power the entire world for fifty thousand years. But it can be used for something else, to change the literal make up of chemicals, this Hierro… if he modifies it and takes it…he'll be immortal!"

"Impossible" Ichigo said "There is no such thing as immortality"

"I don't think you even believe yourself when you say that"

"I see" Ichigo said "Very well, you wish to be the Oracle to my Batman I'll let you" he stood up "I'll get rid of these bounts and then we'll talk about Aizen"

"Agreed" The Mastermind said. Ichigo jumped off the building.

The Mastermind smiled…two birds…one stone.

***Change…has it became apparent yet that I only write these cut scenes because I can't be bothered writing Yoruichi and Soifon's journey?***

Yoruichi locked the car after Soifon got out. Yoruichi couldn't imagine life without Soifon at her side, she was terrified to admit that she didn't even work when Soifon wasn't there; she just couldn't think without her there, Soifon was like her right hand. The police department was quite an ugly building; it was really just a cuboid of characterless concrete with a single kind of tower on the south-western side of the building. On the tower were 'RDPD' and a silver crest which was just the badge of police.

"I can't imagine working here" Soifon said "your office is cool…this place is dull, I'd probably blow my brains out"

"Hey" Yoruichi said "you'd easily get into the police department with the work experience you've got. Not to mention the serious overtime you clock, you're gonna bankrupt me"

"If I think about it" Soifon said "the biggest pay check I've received so far was three grand that's something like… 0.0002 of your worth"

"You need two more zeroes there but your maths isn't too shabby for someone who didn't go to school for a year"  
"I had to keep my maths tip top when I worked for the guy who taught me how to steal cars, then I'd never have realised he was giving me the wrong about of money for '15%' of every car I got and he sold"

"Try not to talk about stealing cars as you walk into a police department" Yoruichi said smiling.

"I never thought of that" Soifon said "hey will they let you talk to them… I mean you've just been released"

"Sojun has officially hired me for this case" Yoruichi said

"Who's Sojun?"

"The Chief of police here" Yoruichi said "he's also Byakushi's father"

"Whoa" Soifon said "I could never imagine Mr Kuchiki with a father I thought he was spawned from a peacock and Satan having a 'Pride-off'" Yoruichi laughed as she walked to the reception.

"Hiya" She said to the receptionist "I was wondering if I could speak to two people who work in the Morgue Dondochakka and Pesche I believe they're called"

"Alright" The Receptionist "can I ask why?"

"Uh" Yoruichi said pulling her sighed piece of paper from Sojun out of her pocket "it's for a case" she handed it over to the woman. She inspected it for a few minutes before handing it back.

"Very well" She said pulling two 'Visitors Passes' from beneath the desk. Yoruichi slung hers around her neck and handed the other to Soifon. "In the elevator floor 'B3' is the morgue…good luck, those guys are the best pathologists in Rukon but they are…different"

"How so?"

"They were very good friends with Nel" She explained "they always sat with her during lunch and stuff, they were left alone to do the autopsy on her…apparently they wailed and cried like children"

"Okay" Yoruichi said "did you see her body?"

"No" she replied "the only people who've seen it are Pesche and Dondochakka and I think Chief Sojun has seen it too but…apparently there is something…wrong with her"

"Like what?" Yoruichi asked leaning forward

"Her blood" She replied "it's redder than blood should be…like…it's almost luminescent!"

"I see" Yoruichi said "c'mon" she said to Soifon.

"What was that about?" Soifon said following her.

"Hierro" Yoruichi said "it turns blood very bright red, I thought it was all out of Nel's system"

"What is Hierro?" Soifon asked "I've heard it mentioned a few times"

"It's" Yoruichi paused for thought as she pushed the lift button "it hardens skin and makes you stronger…it's a very powerful steroid, stronger than any other invented"

"Something like that has to have a downside" Soifon said

"It does"

"What?"

"There isn't enough of it" Yoruichi said "It's rare, very rare, made from the sap of a tree called the 'Arrancar' tree and they are only indigenous to this island"

"I see" Soifon said "that must explain why Aizen is here, a weapons manufacturer must really want a chemical that turns people immortal"

"No" Yoruichi said "they're not immortal, just really hard to kill. Whoever got rid of Nel was lucky; they may not have known that the shotgun wouldn't have killed her it was the fall of the cliff that did her in"

"But being able to take a shogun without dying is a serious achievement" Soifon said "it also makes sense how she was barely harmed by a bullet to the head"

"Also that steel plate" Yoruichi said "but still, the impact would have hurt her severely but she was only knocked out for ten minutes and mildly concussed"

The lift doors opened and Yoruichi and Soifon pushed past a FedEx guy with a plaster over the bridge of his nose who was staring at a clipboard as he walked. Yoruichi stared after him…that smell. Yoruichi shook her head and pressed B3. Soifon chuckled and leaned on the wall. "What's even going on?" She chuckled

"I have no idea" Yoruichi cuddled into her. She tried not to look awkward but it didn't work. "I think you need to wash your hair" she said running her hand through it. She pulled close to kiss her, the doors to the lift opened and Soifon pushed her back lightly…still no luck. Persistence! Yoruichi decided, she'll come around eventually.

They stepped out of the lift and looked around. Obviously this entire floor was the morgue. Two people sat at a desk filling out some forms. "Hey" Yoruichi said walking up to them. "Do you know where two guys called Pesche and Dondochakka are?"

"Yeah" they said in unison "us"

"I see" Yoruichi said "you guys were friends of Nel's?"

"Neeeeeel!" They both wailed and fell to the ground sobbing. "She's our big sister and some guy killed her noooo"

"I wonder how they do that" Soifon said "do you think they practice?"

"Okay" Yoruichi said raising her hands "I've not got all day, c'mon just tell me why you are planning to rob a bank"

They both immediately stopped crying and stared up at her. "How did you know this?" Said the smaller fatter of the two.

"I was in Nel's apartment, she'd hidden the document well but not well enough"

"I see" he said "I presume you want to arrest us?"

"Not really" Yoruichi said "I haven't been hired to stop you planning to rob a bank so I don't really care but I wanna know why she wanted all that money?"

"She wanted to disappear" Said the skinnier one that was taller "she had a back and forth with The Mastermind and ticked them into revealing their identity, now they're after her"

"Did you know who the Mastermind was?"

"No" He said "she wouldn't tell us to protect us"

"Very well" Yoruichi said "I gather that she had Hierro still active in her bloodstream"

"Uh…" they looked at each other "she did have Hierro active but it was weak, most of it was used up when she was shot by Szayel"

"Referring to him by first name" Yoruichi said "how dubious"

"Is that all?" the taller asked staring at her "we're really busy"

"It is" Yoruichi said "C'mon, I fancy getting an Indian for dinner tonight"

"Well that was eventful" Soifon said walking with Yoruichi. Yoruichi stared at her.

"Those men…" she stared back at them. They both watched her as she left. "They're fracción"

"What?" Soifon said stepping into the lift as the doors opened. Yoruichi waited until the doors were closed.

"Back when Nel was one of the Espada she was…given a large list of mercenaries and other hireable people she could take on as her underlings who operate directly below her"

"They worked under her?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "Nel had once said she only had two Fracción and I'm presuming it was these two"

"It doesn't surprise me that Nel would choose two childish men to be her Fracción" Soifon said "but they'd be dangerous like normal Espada right?"

"Well" Yoruichi said "There can only be ten Espada, it's likely you'll get people stronger in the 'Numeros' as they were called but they'd not been given an Espada rank 'cause the list was all full"

"Do you think they still work for Aizen?" Soifon said "maybe they were hired to make sure she really was dead?"  
"Maybe" Yoruichi said "likely but I don't think so"

"So what now?" Soifon said

"We've followed all our leads for now" Yoruichi said "We'll hunker down for the night and then speak to Kukaku; maybe she's seen some stuff"

"Sounds like a plan" Soifon said. Yoruichi crossed her arms. All the players on the board, this was a confusing game. One side was Nel and Candice who figured out the Mastermind was Matsumoto but lost their lives in the process, then it was The Mastermind who is still a mystery but named as Matsumoto, then there was the Stern Ritter who currently seemed to be on standby, then there was Aizen who was still looking for the Hogyoku. What about the others? Urahara, Mr Hat and Clogs… Grimmjow, on his eternal search for this Pantera…Ichigo, supposedly that vigilante running around town. So much stuff to get through. First thing's first. She'd confront Urahara, he was the main suspect for this Mr Hat and Clogs thing but he wasn't an idiot, he wouldn't wear his trademark clothes to kill someone, which was silly.

Maybe someone was trying to frame him? The lift doors opened again and they handed their visitors passes back to the receptionist. God only knows how this situation was gonna get worse…

***Change***

Kenpachi grumbled as Grimmjow came to a stop outside a large condo. "What are we doing here?" Kenpachi said "beating people up is fun and all but I like people who can actually fight back"

"This is Ulquiorra's house" Grimmjow said "He shares this joint with Coyote Starrk, I want you to keep him busy whilst I kill Ulquiorra and take my precious Pantera back!"

"Whatever" Kenpachi said "this Starrk guy better be good"

"You have no idea" Grimmjow said opening his car door. Thank god he was out of that car, damn Grimmjow and his obsession with REM, there is only so much depressing Alternative rock a man could take.

"So how are we gonna do this?" Kenpachi said "'cause I don't do stealth"

"How strange" Grimmjow said "neither do I"

"I can't believe Kukaku talked me into this" Kenpachi muttered

"What that woman would do just to find out what Pantera is" Grimmjow said "I want to see her face when she finds out"

"Hurry up" Kenpachi said "I missed my afternoon nap for this"

"Yeah!" Yachiru said from his shoulder "Ken-chan, hates to miss his afternoon nap!"

"Shut up" Grimmjow said

"Meanie" she said spitting at him.

"I might just kill her" Grimmjow muttered

"Hah" Kenpachi said "I'd like to see you try"

"Oh you'd protect her?"

"No she'd open you up like a can of beans" Kenpachi laughed. Grimmjow scowled at her and strolled through the garden gate and up the footpath. He wasted no time in slamming his foot into the door and kicking it right off the hinges. He walked in and shouted "Pantera!"

Kenpachi followed him, his chipped and war torn sword in his hands. "No one's home" He said looking around.

"Pantera!" Grimmjow shouted again. There was a shrill bark as a small fluffy white dog sprinted toward him barking happily as it went. "Pantera!" he said grinning with joy. He scooped the little toy dog up into his arms and cuddled it "oh daddy's missed you, boy, missed you so, so, so, so much!" he cooed.

"Uh" Kenpachi said staring at Grimmjow who kissed the dog "…this is Pantera!?"

[End of Chapter Eighteen]

**I know no one guessed what Pantera was but I bet you still didn't think it'd be a toy American Eskimo! I thought I might as well add a bit of humour in it…just wait till we see what murciélago is! A few folk didn't see Matsumoto as the Mastermind…but it makes sense doesn't it…or does it?**


	19. Chapter 19: Frame

Ichigo stepped over another 'Bount' they'd put up a noble fight but this sword…it cut through them easily. Their leader; a man called Jin fell to Ichigo after an epic fight. None the less he was dead and the streets were a little less…Vampire-y. "So what's the big idea?" a man said behind him. Ichigo turned to see a tall man with a Mohawk staring at him.

"Who are you?" Ichigo asked.

"My name is Bazz-B" He said "I'm the leader of the 'Flaming Devils' biker gang, "who are you with that bitchy mask?"

"Why are you here?" Ichigo said

"The person I work for doesn't like these guys too much" He said nudging one of the bodies "but you seem to have saved me the hassle, I'll buy you a drink sometime" he turned to leave. Ichigo stared at the flamethrower in his hand. Its fuel was two metal canisters on his back like a backpack.

"So who do you work for?" Ichigo asked. Bazz-B stopped walking.

"They say I've to kill anyone who learns the name of my organisation" he turned and faced Ichigo and a flame started burning at the tip of the flamethrowers barrel "I work for the Stern Ritter, Designation 'H' for the Heat!"

"I wonder why" Ichigo muttered.

"Time to burn little bitch" He pointed the flamethrower at him and pulled its trigger. Ichigo dived to the side narrowly avoiding the searing jet of fire. He quickly avoided another jet of fire and leapt behind a sofa which quickly caught fire. "Damn it I can't get close" Ichigo muttered. He popped up and fired a Taser gun at him. Bazz-B narrowly avoided the two flying prongs.

"Hey!" He said "that was cheap"

Ichigo's phone started to ring. "Oh not now" He said looking at the number… that was the Masterminds last number. He swiped his sweaty finger across the screen "what is it?" He said plugging in a hands free device and running through a doorway.

"You seem to be in a slight spot of bother" The Mastermind said

"What do you think!" Ichigo said

"Come back here you little bastard!" Bazz-B shouted spraying fire all over the already burning building.

"Get him in front of a window on the east side of the building" The Mastermind said "I've got a Chey-tac with his name on it"

"On it" Ichigo said making a left "what's a Chey-tac?"

"Ah there you are!" Bazz-B said. Ichigo saw the glint of the sun on something reflective in the distance. The window right in front of him shattered and a bullet _whipped _past him. It struck Bazz-B square in the chest and sent him flying into the wall and through it.

"Time to leave there Ichigo" The Mastermind said. Ichigo wasn't going to complain. He sprinted through the house and dived out the door. He jumped on his moped and drove away. He'd really need to get a vehicle more suave than a moped but he didn't earn much money working for Kukaku.

"You've got some nerve" Ichigo said to the Mastermind "making me do all that when you had a sniper on the place the whole time"  
"I am the sniper bro" She said "I've got a hella shot, always been that way since high school"

"Whatever" Ichigo said "so what are we gonna do about Aizen?"

"I'm gonna lie on the grass humping the ground like I've been doing for ten minutes and you're gonna go and kill Toshiro Hitsugaya"

"He goes to the school" Ichigo said "why him?"

"He works for Aizen and also knows my real identity" The Mastermind said "he'll ruin me and without me you can't kill Aizen, got me?"

"I see" Ichigo said "Toshiro"

"If Yoruichi or anyone else gets in your way kill them too"

"No promises" Ichigo said

***Change***

Toshiro quivered as he picked up a bottle of pills on his bedside table…were these…? He opened it and stared at the tablets inside. They were. Amphetamines, they made him think so clearly, he could see all the world, universe and time and space with them. Where did they come from? Very wise Matsumoto, he thought throwing the bottle out of the window, she wasn't going to trick him into relapsing.

He took a drink of soda and sat on his bed. There was a knock at his door. "Enter" he said looking at his watch. Nearly time for school, he'd have to hurry and get dressed. Matsumoto stepped in. She looked worried. "Toshiro I need your help"

"What's up?" He said

"I've got a serious problem" she said, her eyes were wide with fear "The Mastermind has been spreading it around that I'm him!"

"You are" Toshiro said taking up a defensive position "I know you are"

"I'm not goddammit" She said. She pulled out a wallet and showed him it "I'm Agent Matsumoto from the NSA!" she said "the Mastermind knows I'm onto Aizen and I'm disturbing his plans, he's got countless people after my neck!"

"Why the hell would you be onto Aizen?" Toshiro said

"Because Kukaku Shiba knows stuff" Matsumoto said "she's got the President of the USA over a barrel and he has to do anything she says or she'll let lose the sheer torrent of info she's got on our dirty laundry and bring the entire US…no NATO crashing down"

"That doesn't explain why you're after Aizen"

"Kukaku knew Aizen was a sick little fishy long before anyone else and she told The President to watch him so he did, me and Gin are undercover NSA, you've got to believe me"

"It makes startling sense" Toshiro muttered "I'm going to school, I don't know why you've told me this but I'm watching you"

"You have to get me Ryo Shihouin" She said "He makes people disappear and that's what I need"

"Speak to Yoruichi" He said "not my problem"

"Damn it" she said standing up "This Mastermind…I think it might be Yoruichi"

"Yoruichi?"

"Yes" She said "think about it, she and Soifon are everywhere but nowhere, we've never spoke to the Mastermind with both of them in the same room!"

"I need time to process" Toshiro said. What Matsumoto said made sense but it made sense with everyone. Kukaku, smart, powerful could easily be the Mastermind, Yoruichi much the same attributes, Ryo, Matsumoto, even Urahara and Tessai were being very secretive these days!

He grumbled as he stood up. "Hang tight" Toshiro said "don't be mad but right now the only person I trust is me and Momo"

"Why Momo?"  
"…because" he said with a tinge of redness in his cheeks. He walked off. School would be tedious but it'll give him time to think. Damn this was weird. So many adults pointing fingers. She blames her and he blames them. What a joke! He walked out of the Kotowari Centre and over to the bus. Stepping on he noticed Bambietta and beside her the only empty seat…he turned to walk off the bus but the doors closed and the bus started to accelerate. He sighed and plunked down beside her. She scoffed and crossed her arms. One arm was wrapped in a cast and one of her legs cast in plaster too. "Tell that bitch" Bambietta said "she's gonna die"

"Get in line" Toshiro said "You're one of the players in this game too; you must have a theory on who this…Mastermind is"

"Huh" Bambietta said "I think I have the glory of being the first person The Mastermind contacted"

"Who did you think it was?"

"Kukaku Shiba" She said "then I thought it was Yoruichi getting revenge for Soifon"

"I see" He said

"Toshiro?" She said

"What?" He said

"Would you fuck me?" She leaned close to him. So close she was almost kissing with those lips…those cute lips…those cute lips that were once wrapped around a donkey's penis. "I'd fuck me; I'd fuck me so hard"

"No" he said plainly "I've seen those videos"

"So?" She said "I've washed since then"

"So?" He said "you literally disgust me"

"C'mon" she winked at him "see me in the shed at the back of school if you ever change your mind"

"Whatever" Toshiro silently cursed at how _male _he was. Despite this girl being a shameless, sadistic, paedophilic, bestiality practicing whore he was still a little tempted to take up her offer. Free sex was one of his species' many flaws

"Oh come on" She grinned "you've never had a girl as dirty as me…I'll do anything" She whispered.

"Dude" he said "Gimmie space" he leaned back.

"Alright" She shrugged "tell me something, who do you think this Mastermind is?"

"I've been told it's Yoruichi too" he said "but I've also been told its… other people" he didn't want to give over Matsumoto to the Stern Ritter in case she was telling the truth and he'd just accidentally got a government agent killed by a secret society that hires insane schoolgirls.

"They expect me to give a speech about Candice since she was my 'Best Friend'" Bambietta explained. Toshiro stared at her, he really didn't care about what she cared about and really wished she'd just shut up "I hate her, stupid dyke, who does she think she is trying to trick me into being her friend, you've seen the vids we did stuff together and then I find out she actually _liked_ that stuff!"

"People are entitled to their own life choices" Toshiro muttered with his arms crossed "you of all people should respect that"  
"What's that supposed to mean?" She said

"You forced her to do things that repulse her and _you're_ the one with the nerve to say she lives a life of indignity" Toshiro scoffed as the bus pulled over beside the school "people like you make me sick". He stood up and walked off the bus. Toshiro caught up to Momo who walked briskly toward the canteen.

"Hey" he said. His heart picked up its pace, today was the day, don't falter, don't hesitate feet don't fail me now! "What's up?"

"Nothing" She said "I've been a bit ill; this whole thing with The Mastermind is making me worry too much"

"Try to think about it logically" Toshiro said "cast emotion aside for a few minutes and really sit down and think about where you sit in this whole façade"

"You know where I sit" She smiled at him "right next to you"

"Anyway" he said "I've been meaning to ask you something"

"What?" She stared at him curiously. His heart beat even faster and his palms were clammy.

"Are…are you bringing anyone to the…uh…prom?"

"I didn't think I wanted to go" She said "no one asked me so I decided just to bail"

"I…I could go with you…if, uh, you wanted"

"Sure!" He said smiling again "this'll be so fun"

"Y-yeah" he said

"Is something wrong?" She said "you seem off colour?"  
"Uh…nothing" He said "I'm a little cold" he said and immediately regretted saying such a stupid thing. Momo merely laughed and continued to walk. Toshiro smiled, when he was with Momo there was no crazed arms dealers, no omnipotent pupetmasters, no secret society, no serial killers only childish innocence, sometimes he wished he could just be like that detective Nel, he was forced to grow up too fast, he'd never had a childhood and he felt the hole it'd left in him but when he was with Momo it didn't hurt as much as it usually did. If anything were to happen to her he didn't know what he'd do.

***Change + ten hours (what happened with Toshiro is set on the same day as Yoruichi and Soifon following leads and the Mastermind talking to them the day before) ***

Juha Bach nodded and put down his phone. He didn't know why he'd nodded; it wasn't as if the person he was talking to saw it. So… The Oken was what this Mastermind was after, BG9 was a smart man…thing. He'd found out the Mastermind's plan and Cang Du works in the evidence department in the RDPD. He'd put one of his Stern Ritter in the evidence department in case there was something needed to be destroyed.

He picked up his phone and dialled. He usually stayed at work 'till about nine in case Juha phoned. He was a good little soldier. He tapped on his desk impatiently as he waited for Cang Du to pick up. He didn't answer… hopefully that wasn't a bad omen…

***Change***

Cang Du gurgled and spluttered as a purple haired woman slashed his jugular vein spraying blood all over the room. The culprit wore a scarf of some kind over her face. With a dark skinned hand she pulled the keys for his lock up off of him as the blood drenched phone rang. She ignored it and unlocked the caged warehouse of evidence. She quickly made her way to the box that portrayed Ryuu Shihouin's unsolved case.

Pulling the box off of the shelve she opened it and rummaged through it for a minute. Then she found it. The USB stick labelled Oken. Beneath her scarf she smiled. She closed the box and returned it to its original spot. She walked out of the cage and locked the door again. She tossed the keys at Cang Du; they bounced off his nearly severed head. "Thanks for your time" She said. She climbed out of the open window and jumped down to the street below. It was only a single floor but the landing still jarred her legs a little, but what the hey…it wasn't as if she was Yoruichi Shihouin or something. The Mastermind grinned as they pulled the purple wig off, peeled the fake fingerprints from her fake tanned hand.

"Yoruichi Shihouin…I just fucked you!"

***Change***

Yoruichi teased Soifon with a piece of Donner meat. She eventually managed to grab it with her teeth and ate it. For the third night in a row, as a free woman, she was sleeping in Soifon's bed. She really wanted to have Soifon in her own king-size memory foam mattress. "Soifon" Yoruichi said propping her head on her hand.

"S'up" Soifon said

"Are you taking me to the Prom?"

"No" Soifon said scowling "I'm not going"  
"Why not?"

"I'm not some fuckin caged beast everyone can point and laugh at, I don't do public you know this" Soifon said. This made Yoruichi angrier than it probably should have. She sat up and looked at her.

"I'm not some scarlet letter you can just sweep under the rug and then fuck whenever you want" Yoruichi said "I deserve more than that!"

"Don't do this" Soifon said "I just can't, I physically freeze up when people try to do stuff in public"

"Grow up Soifon" Yoruichi snapped "I don't know if you know it or not but I'm a grown woman and your treating me like I'm some behind closed doors affair"  
"I can't" Soifon said "everyone is the same, they think my life is there business and it's not and I don…" Soifon reeled back as Yoruichi slapped her. She stared at her with tears in her eyes. Her cheek red with Yoruichi's hand print on it.

"Fuck people!" Yoruichi said "be proud of what you are"  
"Yeah" Soifon said scornfully and turning her back "and just _what_ am I, huh?"

"Only you can answer that" Yoruichi said putting her hand on her shoulder. She shook it off.

"All I see when I look in the mirror is a weak, pathetic social wreck" Soifon said

"When I looked at you all I see is a beautiful, intelligent" Yoruichi said "I was in love with you when I first laid eyes on you and it won't just go away but if you love me like I do you you'd disregard all this shit the meek have to say, you're mine and I'm yours don't be scared of the truth" Yoruichi said cuddling her. "Many great people have fallen down the road to ruin because they couldn't accept who they were, it's not a pretty sight and I don't want to see you do the same, it'd break my heart"

"Heh" Soifon chuckled "typical extrovert, thinking all an introvert needs to do is just _talk to people_ it's not that easy, I can't just turn it on and off like a fuckin tap, this is hardwired into my coding"

"I'll never leave you Soifon but I can't live with a woman who's ashamed of me"

"So what!" Soifon said "I am ashamed of you, I'm going to hell for what I practice, I hate this world, everyone only cares about themselves, even you, you only like me because I give you pleasure, if you did …_love me_ like I love you then you'd just accept that's who I am!"  
"Don't you hear what you're saying?" Yoruichi said

"Oh fuck off" Soifon said opening her door and walking out. Yoruichi stared after her…it was like talking to a brick wall. She really was the toughest nut she'd ever tried to crack. Years of abuse and torture does tend to make a flawed personality. Yoruichi chuckled and sat on her bed, she should've known that Soifon won't be simply forced into being proud of what she is.

Her phone rang. Flipping it open she saw it was the number the Mastermind used. "I'm really not in the mood for your shit right now" Yoruichi said

"Well you better masturbate your frustration away right now Barbie 'cause I've got a serious fucking problem and your daddy is the cause and frankly may just vent my anger on that little tart walking down Inuzuri 5th street"

"What is it now?"  
"That's the spirit" The Mastermind said

"I know who you are" Yoruichi said "Matsumoto"

"Oh noes!" The Mastermind said sarcastically "why don't you walk into my room and star wailing on me then?"

"…you know why" Yoruichi said

"I do" The Mastermind said "it didn't take you long to realise did it?"

"No" Yoruichi replied "what do you want"  
"The Oken" The Mastermind said "It's a fake, the USB was a virus called Omicron"

"So?" Yoruichi said "that's your own stupidity for not realising an un-cloneable piece of code was on a USB…don't you remember when it was made?"

"I see" The Mastermind said "It'd be a floppy disk…hmm"

"There you go" Yoruichi said "will that be all?"

"No" The Mastermind said "A trade happened a while ago, do you understand…eight years ago?"

"No"  
"Shaozu Feng traded with Ryuu Shihouin, the Hogyoku for the Oken and I'm predicting that, like Shaozu, Ryuu gave the Oken to someone"

"There was no such trade; that was a myth" Yoruichi said "we don't have the Oken"

"Think back, bitch" the Mastermind said "I need that Oken"

"And what if I find it, huh?" Yoruichi said "what'll you do with it?"

"I'll save the world" The Mastermind said "there'll be no more hatred spread through the internet, no more sick paedo websites, no more trolling six year old girls with cancer, no more plotting to kill innocent people in this world because don't you see, Yoruichi-Sama, the reason this world has fell into disrepair _is_ the internet. With the Oken I can damage it beyond repair, I will destroy the Internet"

"I…understand" Yoruichi said.

"Good" The Mastermind said "think back and if you don't have my Oken by tomorrow I'll kill everyone you ever loved"

Yoruichi snapped her phone shut and sat on Soifon's bed again. Where was the Oken? She lay down and closed her eyes…she fell into her 'calm place' time would slip backwards and she'll see the past…

***Change***

Soifon crutched herself down the street. What was she to do? She hoped she hadn't irreparably damaged her relationship with Yoruichi. She couldn't imagine losing her, she was the last leg on this broken table, if she disappeared she'd be nothing.

A van pulled up beside her. "What now?" She muttered. The van's side door opened and Soifon froze as the Maid from Ryuu's house jumped out and made a grab for her. Soifon smacked her arm with her crutch and backhanded her with her plaster cast arm. Harribel was thrown against the van but recovered quickly kicking her one good leg and forcing Soifon to painfully put her weight on her ankle. The pain was too much and with a yell of pain Soifon fell to the ground. "Where is it?!" She demanded grabbing at her packets. She was looking for the Hogyoku…she'd left it with Yoruichi.

"Damn it" She said "she doesn't have it"

"Kill her" said a pale green eyed male. Suddenly there was a can bouncing past them. What was that…Soifon's memory flashed back to Grantz and his flash grenade "Flashbang!" Tier shouted. Then the world went white. Soifon couldn't see, she couldn't hear she felt like she was falling, the universe felt like it was spinning. She was saved from her plight by something striking the back of her head. She welcomed darkness with a slight smile. At the back of her mind she wondered who'd saved her.

[End of Chapter nineteen]

**Next Chapter will be a flashback to eight years in the past. I'll shed some light on what the Oken is. Also there'll be another clue as to who the Mastermind is as most of you probably have figured out Matsumoto was another bluff by The Mastermind…or is it?**

** Gotta give a positive review for that silence of the lambs quote**


	20. Chapter 20: Clocks

**Apologies folks I know in the last one I said it'd be eight years….I meant ten years.**

Yoruichi groaned as an alarm buzzed beside her. "Yoruichi!" He mother shouted "you're gonna be late for school!"

"I don't wanna go!" Yoruichi shouted back. She had no friends beside Neliel…the weirdo that she was. She was so secretive about what she did outside school but during school she followed Yoruichi around like a puppy, it was annoying!

Yoruichi picked up her glasses and put them on. She sighed when she noticed her vision had yet again improved, it would be soon she'd not even have to wear glasses anymore. She briefly looked in the mirror. Her hair was quite short but long enough for it to be classed as a feminine haircut. It stuck out in every direction like a bedhead usually did. She didn't care. No one crossed her anyway; they all just hid their hatred behind false smiles and disgusting whispers behind her back.

After a quick shower where she spent more time wondering if her a-cups had grown a little…maybe even a…no… typical… she was going to be flat chested for the rest of her life. Her mother always laughed and said she was growing up exactly like her, her mother's breasts were massive, the kids at the school called her a 'MILF' Yoruichi still didn't know what it meant. It was probably really offensive but when her mother heard Yoruichi's concern she burst out laughing and didn't stop for at least an hour.

Yoruichi got dressed and had her breakfast. Her mother and father played chess on the kitchen table. Despite being an unrealistically smart man he struggled to beat her mother. She didn't know why but her mother seemed to distract him from his intelligent thoughts. "Have a fun day at school" She said as Yoruichi stood up to leave.

"Yeah" She said "Can I have some money to get some batteries for my MP3 player?"

"Sure why not" Her father said handing her a ten dollar note. Before she took it he snatched it back and said "If you can solve this riddle… What goes around the world but stays in the corner?"

"Heh" Her mother chuckled, she'd already solved it. Yoruichi thought for a second…

"Oh!" Yoruichi said clicking her fingers "A stamp!"

"Very good" He said handing her the note. She grinned and took the note. Stuffing it into her pocket she walked out of the manor. Her brother sat with his arm dangling out the window of his convertible. Yoruichi jumped in beside him. "About time" he muttered not moving. He continued to stare up at the sky with a pair of shades protecting his eyes from the sun's glare.

"You gonna go sometime soon?" Yoruichi said

"Fret not Sora Mea" He said "time is never time at all"

"I see, well then Fretele Meu, and wanna get a goddamn move on before I shove my foot up your ass" She snapped

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" he said turning the key in the ignition "fuck sake"

He drove quickly down the drive and off toward school. Today will be like every other, nothing interesting…at all.

***Change***

Kukaku put her guitar down and looked up at the ceiling. Her uncle was looking after her for now and he'd just moved into this shitty island and opened up a bar called The Roman Candle. It was a nice little building and a comfy bar but the man was a genius, he could've done better. "Kukaku if you don't get ready you'll be late for your first day at school said her aunt Masaki said looking in her room.

"Yeah alright" Kukaku said "anyone gives me any shit and I'll blow up I don't care who they are, this stupid town and these stupid people" she scoffed

"Such angst" Masaki laughed and walked away.

Kukaku chuckled and shouldered a bag, she didn't bother getting washed…she washed sometime the other day there…or did she? She smelt under her armpit…not too bad. She took a deep breath as she walked out the bar…she'd only got her ass felt once today…usually it was in its late teens. She didn't know why so many guys found her attractive; she was just a girl, nothing special about her.

The bus came and she stepped on showing the driver her pass. The pupils all watched her with slight apprehension. She sat down next to a green haired girl with a scar. She sat playing a Gameboy Advanced. She played one of the Pokémon games, maybe the new one Sapphire…it looked like the very pinnacle of modern technology…this stuff'd still be advanced in ten years Kukaku thought as the girl mashed the 'A' button.

"Damn it" She said "good old Sollertis" she muttered "he always gets one shotted by ice types"

"I don't care" Kukaku said she picked up her book… Abarat by Clive Barker. Kukaku focused her mind. Clive Barker was quite a unique writer; his books weren't to be read without complete and undivided attention.

"No one ever does" the girl muttered still mashing. Kukaku sighed and kept reading.

"What kind of nerd reads a book on her way to school?" some boy said

"Are you immortal or invulnerable?"

"Uh no" He said

"Then I'd suggest shutting your mouth before I make you swallow your own legs" Kukaku snapped

"Ohh" He taunted "terrifying"

Kukaku threw her book into his face. As he recoiled back she punched him hard on the chin and then landed another blow on his nose. He fell back unconscious. She scoffed and picked up her book pushing a weedy blonde guy out of the way. The bus driver continued, oblivious of the assault that'd just occurred.

Everyone either ignored them or shook their heads. There was obviously someone else in this school with a similar personality to hers. "Yo Nel?" another guy said to the green haired girl. She looked back at him just as a carton of milk struck her in the face, spraying Nel and Kukaku with milk. "You obviously didn't get the memo, chump!" Kukaku said standing up. The milk thrower recoiled back. "Hey I was aiming for Smell, it was merely collateral damage!" He said "come on, please"

"Didn't your daddy ever tell you not to treat your fellow man with disrespect" Kukaku said grabbing him. The bus came to a stop outside the school. Kukaku sighed "Saved by the bell" she said throwing him back onto the seat. Nel quickly walked off the bus…or fell, someone kicked her ankle as she walked and she sprawled off the bus straight into a young man who literally repulsed from her. He wiped his designer sweater where she'd touched him and continued to walk.

"There are two people you don't mess with in this school" said the weedy blonde guy "him there; Byakuya Kuchiki" he pointed at the designer sweater wearing guy.

"So who's the other?" Kukaku said

"Those there" he pointed at two dark skinned siblings stepping out of a convertible, an expensive car for a teenager to have, obviously their parents were rich. She hated rich kids, they always thought that money made all problems worse…she'd like to see what they'd do with a single night out on the streets. "They are the Shihouin's"

"What's that where they are at home" Kukaku said

"Their father is an infamous con man" He said "it doesn't matter who you are…he can bury anyone"

"Terrifying" Kukaku said sarcastically "I ain't scared of some Gaki's who get their daddy to fight their battles"

"The girl is also my girlfriend" he said

"Good for you" Kukaku replied "I'm surprised you've got it in you"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked looking offended

"Did she just pity fuck you is that it?" She asked laughing.

"Hi" The Shihouin girl said walking over, she grinned with a mouth full of perfect white teeth. Ten more years and that girl would be a goddess, Kukaku thought; she was one of those people who age like a fine wine.

Kukaku scowled at Nel who jogged up to them…or jiggled, damn those tits were huge for a sixteen year old! She grinned at Miss Shihouin, some of her teeth were missing, god what a ridiculous girl, stupid scar, stupid birthmark on her face and missing teeth, didn't she even remotely care what she looked like?

Kukaku scoffed and walked away. Time to explore this shithole! Kaien appeared beside her "Fuck me" Kukaku said jumping "where the hell did you come from?"  
"Dunno" He said "I was walking a minute ago and then I was here"

"Is that the new tat?" She said looking at his arm. "Not bad"

"Shiba pride!" He said

"Heh, I was thinking of getting one on my arm here" she pointed at her upper arm. "Japanese Sora meaning 'Sky'"

"What!" he said "you're not getting a tattoo, you're too young!"

"What!?" Kukaku snapped "You…fuck you!" She gave him the middle finger and stormed off.

After going to the reception she was given a brief tour where all information went in one ear and out the other. Once the tour was over she was dumped into English, the teacher wasn't around for whatever reason and despite Nel being there no one seemed to be dissing her like they did on the bus. The Shihouin girl sat next to her scribbling on the desk.

Kukaku threw her bag at Byakuya Kuchiki. "Move it" She said "I wanna sit there". The window and furthest corner was her spot!

"Excuse me?" He said

"You obviously didn't hear me dickhead" She said slamming her hand on the desk. "I said get the fuck out of my new seat!"

Pupils stared at her as if she'd just said her favourite pastime was necrophilia. He stared at her. "I don't know who you think you are" he said "but I'm no-" he never managed to finish as Kukaku grabbed him and hauled him off his seat and threw him over the Shihouin Princess. She plopped down on the seat and sighed happily. "Isn't this nice" She grinned as the entire class stared at her with a mixture of rage and horror.

"What's the big idea, bitch?" The Shihouin girl said standing up and brandishing her fist

"Huh, you got a problem you desert crab?" Kukaku said standing up again.

"Leave it, Yoruichi" Nel said "She's already been in two fights on the bus"

"Huh" Yoruichi said slapping Nel's hand away from her "I don't back down for no bitch"

"You gonna go get your daddy, huh?" Kukaku taunted. That one hit a sore spot Kukaku noticed as Yoruichi gritted her teeth and swung a punch for her. Kukaku ducked under it and tackled her to the ground. "Whoa" Yoruichi said as she hit the ground. She rose her knee up into Kukaku's chest, her ample bosoms cushioned the blow but she still packed a punch, watch this chicks kicks.

Yoruichi wrapped her powerful legs around her stomach and tightened her grip. Kukaku groaned as Yoruichi pushed the air from her. Damn it, those legs really were powerful. Kukaku stood up grabbing the front of Yoruichi's t-shirt she hauled her up. They looked like they were doing some perverse dance. She swung around once, twice, three times before pushing Yoruichi. The G-force broke Yoruichi's grip and sent her flying into a wall.

She bounced off and recovered quickly aiming a kick for her face. Kukaku dodged and grabbed her leg. She kicked the other from beneath her. Yoruichi was skilled, she used her lack of balance to twist and drive one of those strong legs into the side of her head.

"Enough of this" a man said hauling Kukaku backward. She stumbled backwards and landed on her behind. She stared up at the teacher who'd just hauled her off. "Mr Bach!" Nel said

"Good morning, Neliel" He said "Now both of you, go and see the Principal!"

"Whatever" Kukaku said standing up. She brushed herself off and walked out of the room.

"You totally won that, Yoruichi" someone said

"Shut up" Yoruichi snapped following Kukaku out of the room. Kukaku scowled as Yoruichi happily whistled Winds of change by the Scorpions.

"What are you so happy about?" Kukaku sneered.

"I dunno" Yoruichi grinned "I haven't been this happy since I was a toddler"

"Whatever" Kukaku said. She felt happy too. In her old school her fiery personality quickly made her the person whom you don't mess with but Yoruichi, she was no pushover, she'd be a fun sparring partner!

***Change + nine hours***

Yoruichi opened the front door of the manor. Glad to be home she smiled. Her mother looked at her as she walked into the kitchen. "What happened to your face?" She asked

"I got into a fight" Yoruichi grinned

"Is that so?" She said scowling at her "a classy young lady shouldn't be grinning about that"

"I know" Yoruichi said shadowboxing "I've never been this happy"

"I presume it was one of those Shiba's that just moved here" She said

"…uh yeah" Yoruichi said "how did you know?"

"The Shiba family are good information collectors, people like me and your father naturally know all the reliable sources of info and Shiba is a name we look out for because Shiba means quality…also they are good pyrotechnical showmen" she smiled

"Where is dad?"

"He's picking up an old friend he used to work with, he and his family will be coming over for a few hours" She said "be wary of the man's sons, apparently they aren't very nice"  
"And your just gonna let them into our house?"

"Sure why not" She said  
"Fair enough" Yoruichi said "if I get raped or something I'm so gonna ground you"

"Ground me?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said nodding as she tore a piece of brioche from a loaf sitting on the counter "and there'll be no T.V or games for a week!"

"Okay Miss Jailer!" Her mother said pretending to be a teenager "you never let me have anything! You're so…urgh! I'm going upstairs to draw and express my feelings!" She stomped out of the room. Yoruichi laughed and walked up to her room. She turned on her PS2 and sat down for a little gaming session…of Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly. Spyro and Dragon Warrior: Monsters made up most of Yoruichi's free time when she wasn't studying.

After about half an hour of playing Yoruichi heard voices downstairs. Her dads buddy must be there. Curiosity got the better of her and she paused her game and walked downstairs. She turned into the kitchen and waved at her dad. "Ah" He said "here is my darling daughter, Yoruichi. She got into her first fight today, I'm so proud!" He said. The man he was speaking to was a Chinese man with dark shadows under his eyes. He watched her curiously.

"She looks like you Yuka" he said eventually. "I have a daughter too" He said nudging the young girl that was hiding behind him. "She's called Shaolin"

"Hi there" Yoruichi said smiling. The young girl looked up at her as if entranced by her she stared open-mouthed. "Cute kid" Yoruichi said

"Yes well" the Chinese man said "For your birthday, Yuka I wanted to give you something"

"Oh" She said raising an eyebrow. He pulled out a necklace, a golden and gem encrusted key on a gold chain. "This is the Oken" he said

"What do you think you're doing?" Ryuu snapped "you can't entrust the Oken to me you buffoon"

"I'm not entrusting it to you" He said "I'm giving it to Yuka"

"I don't like this" Ryuu said "Longwei, you better explain your actions mighty fast"

"There are no reasons, no rhyme or fault…just time and space crashing together like buffalos in a cataclysmic stampede"

"I see" Ryuu said "watch your back"

Her mother stared at the necklace. "I think it's quite nice" Yoruichi said. Her father and Longwei disappeared into a study to speak in private.

"No" her mother said "this is the worst gift any person could receive from someone and one of these days I'm going to have to give it to you"

"What is it?"

"Never you mind" She said "in fact" she prodded Yoruichi's shoulder "Sleep" she clicked her fingers and Yoruichi fell into hypnosis. "You don't remember this Oken or what it does; you do not know I have it or that it was given to me by Longwei"

"What's the Oken?" Yoruichi droned

"Never you mind" Yuka said "Wake" she clicked again. The young Shaolin stared at them. She obviously hadn't comprehended what had happened. She started to cry and sat on the floor. Yoruichi picked her up.

"You're a big girl now" Yoruichi grinned at her "big girls don't cry"

"They don't?" She stared at her. Yoruichi laughed and cuddled her

"Of course they don't!" She giggled "they've got to think about boys and lipstick and…uh…"

"Bubble baths" Her mother said

"Yeah bubble baths" Yoruichi agreed. "Oh what's that…you look like there's something buzzing about your head" She ruffled Shaolin's hair "there it goes. All better?"

"Yeah" She said rubbing her eyes. Yoruichi smiled at the kid and looked at the door her father was behind. She hoped this wasn't going to be the destruction of her father…

***Change + TWO YEARS***

Yoruichi rubbed her eyes as she sat up. Last night was a blur, she'd drank too much. Kisuke lay next to her in his usual comatose state. He was boring now; he had little to no energy for intimacy. He wasted it all on that thing he was building in the lab in Tenshiheisōban. Damn it why did her father decide he wanted Kisuke's brain, this wasn't gonna end well. She pulled on her underwear and went into the shower. She'd have to go to school eventually. She almost couldn't believe it, she'd spent her early teens being a teenage genius but not that she was older she was just filth and she'd never been happier. Spending time with friends, singing and dancing under the moonlight as fireworks exploded in the sky were better than any bachelor's degree to date. Even if that did mean spending all her days smoking weed and agreeing to Kisuke's crappy terms of what he called a relationship.

After her shower she pulled on some clean clothes and threw a slipper at Kisuke. "We've got school, asshole" She said

"Urgh" He groaned "in a minute" he said waving his arm lazily at her.

"Whatever" Yoruichi said

She walked down stairs and stopped outside the kitchen "What do you think you're doing, Ryuu!?" She heard her mother demand

"There is no one that can compete with my mind" Her father replied

"But…this man is different, he's worse, I've seen that look before, you'd donned it once when the Basterbine's nearly trapped us and you remember what happened then"

"I can handle Aizen, Yuka" he said "I've already got somewhere to put the Hogyoku if it gets too dangerous"

"Just" Her mother paused for thought "don't make a gamble with Yoruichi and Ryo's lives"

"You know I'd never let their blood be spilt" he said.

The mail fell through the door and Yoruichi crept over and picked it up. She walked into the kitchen and pretended to sort through the letters. "Good morning Yoruichi" Her mother said

"Hey" Yoruichi said. She opened a letter from the bank and looked at her balance. Four hundred grand! Her first big scoop. With a little help from her father she'd been getting into the family business. She didn't really want to but it paid the non-existent bills so she'll stick with what she's good at first.

After breakfast Yoruichi drove to school leaving Kisuke behind as he hadn't even got up yet. She drove past The Roman Candle and picked up Kukaku. "Yo" She said

"S'up" Yoruichi replied "How's Kaien?"

"Not bad" She said "he hates The Roman Candle, he wants to be out there in the action rather than being the mite sucking up info to sell on"

"Why doesn't he?" Yoruichi asked

"Dunno" She said "someone's gotta take on the legacy and Ganju is just about as useful as a chocolate ashtray on a motorbike.

"There's Nel" Yoruichi said indicating to pull up

"Oh god" Kukaku said "I fuckin hate Nel"

"Oh come on" Yoruichi laughed "she's not that bad, she's just lonely, imagine if no one liked you?"

"No one does like me!" Kukaku said "she's just weak"

"She's a nice girl, she's never said a bad thing about anyone" Yoruichi said. Nel waved as she slowed. Yoruichi stopped and Nel hopped in the back seat.

"People will stop calling you Smell if you actually wash once in a while!" Kukaku said grimacing at Nel's… musty smell.

"Sorry" Nel said "I was really busy this weekend"

"I see that" Yoruichi said looking at her scarred and bruised knuckles. What did she do on her weekends!? It was maddening trying to figure out, was she a street fighter?

"You're so transparent" Kukaku said "if you didn't have that odour I think I'd completely forget you were there"

"Someday everyone will know my name" Nel said "I'm gonna join the police force, I've decided"

"Good for you" Yoruichi said "The police could do with some good publicity after beating up all those black people two years ago"

"Yeah" Kukaku said "they could really use a lesbo in their ranks"

"Lay off" Yoruichi said. For some reason she started to really like woman and it ground on her when someone insulted someone just for being a lesbian, poor Nel gets nothing right, she was a walking, unorganised disaster. Yoruichi was madly in love with her.

They eventually came to school and all jumped out of the car. Yoruichi locked the car and admired Nel as she walked. She couldn't really believe so many people hated Nel, why? Because she was different or because they were jealous she was more unique than they'd ever be. She was one of a kind; there'd be no other person on this earth quite like her.

"You taking Ki-suck to the Prom?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi replied "who you going with?"

"Dunno" Kukaku replied

"You should go with Nel" Yoruichi said. Nel's cheeks reddened. Nel had confessed to Yoruichi that she had a crush on Kukaku. It was quite common for people to get a crush on a member of the opposite sex, or same sex if the patient was homosexual, who is a tormentor or bully; like a very watered down version of Stockholm Syndrome.

"Could you imagine us trying to slow dance" Kukaku laughed "we wouldn't be able to reach each other"

"I know" Yoruichi said "your massive titties would get in the way" Yoruichi said slapping one of Kukaku's breasts.

"I'll probably take Ryo or something" Kukaku said "he'll be my wingman for this"

"Tsch" Yoruichi tutted "for someone that disses people sex life you sure are frigid"

"Whatever" Kukaku said "What about you Neliel?"

"I'm not going" She said

"Why not?"

"Err because I'm gay" She said "I don't have anyone to go with"

"Hire a hooker" Kukaku said

"Wow no" Yoruichi said "I'd go with you if I wasn't taking Kisuke"

"Ha!" Kukaku chuckled. She stopped and stared at Yoruichi "you were being serious!"

"I was"

"Th'fuck!" She said "Don't tell me I'm hanging around with two lesbo's!"

"Whoa" Yoruichi said raising her arms, "I didn't mean it like that!"

She heard a number of sirens; they all seemed to be heading up to the direction of the Shihouin manor. Kukaku's phone rang and she answered it "Yo!" She said. She listened for a few minutes "What!" She said "Alright" She hung up and looked Yoruichi, "Gotta go". She turned and sprinted through the school gates.  
"At least you're still here, Nel" she said turning back staring at the empty patch of ground Nel had been standing on previously. What the hell!?

***Change***

"Don't do this" Nel said. Grimmjow would never admit but he was of a similar frame of mind. Yuka Shihouin knelt on the ground, blood poured from her mouth, the Tenshiheisōban was in flames, and a massive column of smoke filled the sky. Ryuu lay broken and beaten on the ground. Aizen stood over him smiling sadly.

"Where is the Hogyoku?"

"Fuck you" Ryuu said spitting blood up at him.

"Do it" he said to Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra swung his blade and with a sickening thwack he cut her head clean off. Nel stared, horrified. Grimmjow closed his eyes. He hated seeing pretty girls die; it was his soft spot…also his dog breeding hobby.

"Y-Yuka" Ryuu stared at her headless corpse, drenched in blood he screamed and drove his fist into Aizen's stomach straight through his Hierro protected skin and out the other side. Aizen let out a groan as Ryuu pulled his hand out and aimed another blow. Starrk grabbed his arm and punched him in the face. He fell back to the ground.

"What have you done?" Nel said

"Shut up" Nnoitra said slamming a sledge hammer over her head. The impact should've shattered her head like a watermelon but she seemed to have kept her head but she'd surely be dead.

"Come now" Aizen said "throw her into the ocean, she's a hideous sight"

"Not to mention she stinks" Szayel said picking her up "how did a retard like her get into the Espada"

"It sounded like you doubted me for a second there" Aizen said "I hired her because I thought…for a second there I thought she was smarter than she actually was. Call up that Russian" He said to Tosen "Tell her position three is open if she wants it"

"It will be done my Lord"

"What about him?" Starrk said pointing his gun

"Leave him" He said "I've got other stuff to do, I thought he had the Hogyoku completed but he's clearly disposed of it, we'll never find it, not until we get Pesquisa up and running"

"What then?"

"Then we will be gods" He said smiling

***Change***

"Kukaku!" Kaien said. Kukaku had just got the message that Yoruichi's mother was dead! Yuka…she was a great woman. Darkness had quickly fallen. And a storm was coming. She stared at her brother, he looked awful.

"It took ages to find you" Kukaku said

"Damn it" he said "there is a storm coming"

"Obviously" Kukaku said looking at the pulsating sky.

"No!" He said "There is a Puppetmaster"

"A what?"

"Someone is out there pulling strings, they are setting up something HUGE!" He said "I'm not talking millennium bug or freekin T2 this bitch is planning on brining the whole corrupt system down on our heads"

"Who?"

"This Puppetmaster it's not who you'd think it's…" There was a loud bang and blood exploded all over her face. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but only managed a gurgle

"Kaien?" She sad. She looked down at his chest. The high powered sniper rifle had blown a hole straight through his chest. Kukaku stared, her world, her brother gone. She didn't even care that the bullet had gone straight through him and ripped her arm right off. Its pain was numbed by the pain of her brother falling to his knees.

He grabbed her "T-they are close" He said "The Mastermind is…" A loud rumble of lightning drowned out his words…

His eyes lost focus and he let out his final breath of life. "K-Kai" She choked staring at him. He was dead, gone, forever. Rain poured down it torrents. "Kaien" She said "KAAAIIEEEN!" She wailed.

***Change***

Yoruichi wiped tears from her eyes as she picked up a neat brown envelope. It was addressed to her. She opened it. Inside were a letter and a necklace. She frowned as she stared at it, it was so familiar!

She read the letter:

My daughter, I'm sorry, I've gone and got myself killed before I could really see you grow up. I don't have much to say. I love you, you know this and I know you'll miss me and if there is an afterlife I'll wait for you, but don't be in a rush to meet me, I'm a patient woman. I know about how you feel with other women and don't be scared, Yoruichi, I've always been proud of you and there is nothing you could do that'd disappoint me.

In the letter is a necklace. You may notice it's shaped like a key, that's because it is. It's not a traditional key but you'll know what it does when the time comes.

Listen very carefully…or ready very carefully Yoruichi. Kukaku and Nel are your best friends. Never abandon them, they are your sisters and you should love them equally. You're a magnificent young girl and have so much love to give; make sure the right person gets it.

I love you

Goodbye.

***Back to present***

Yoruichi sat up and wiped a tear from her eyes. So that's what the Oken is. That necklace. Yoruichi stood up and froze. She stared at four sticks of dynamite with an alarm clock attached to them. "What the fuck?" Yoruichi said. The alarm pinged and started ticking. Fifteen seconds left. Yoruichi's eyes widened and she dived through the "Everybody get out there's a bomb" she shouted. She sprinted out of the building, everyone was already outside, and they all stared at her curiously as they huddled around a barbeque. "Is this everyone?" She said doing a quick headcount. "Where's Toshiro?" She said.

"He went for a nap" Momo said

"Fuck!" Yoruichi turned just as the building erupted into a massive pillar of fire. She and the rest of the Kotowari centre were thrown back by the massive blast. Yoruichi stared up at the sky dazed. What was happening, who'd planted that bomb? The Mastermind? She drifted into unconsciousness as Momo screamed Toshiro's name.

They'd been dealt a heavy blow. The Kotowari centre was out of the game before they'd even made a move. What a joke…

[End of Chapter twenty and arc two]

**Normally I'd put all my referenced songs but I can't be bothered, there are millions in this arc. I'll eventually make a Spotify playlist if anyone likes my music taste…I doubt it though. Anyway, there are a shit ton of loose ends in this arc and if you actually think about it not much actually happened but next arc we'll focus almost entirely on Aizen , the arc being the identity of the mastermind and the fall of Aizen and Juha Bach.**


	21. Chapter 21: Mastermind

**Yes… the Mastermind is finally revealed in this one but the way I've changed this to the finale of arc 2 rather than the joke that chapter 20 is…**

"Hey!" someone said. Soifon groaned as light and noise assaulted her senses. "Wake up!"

"Perhaps you should hit her again?" someone else said

"Oh yeah, Gisselle, that'll really help" Bambietta replied. Soifon easily identified Bambietta's voice, it was drilled into her mind by now, and she'd never forget it. Soifon opened her eyes. She was tied to a wooden chair in some kind of shed. Gisselle, Bambietta, Meninas and Liltotto all stood or sat around her.

"Oh hey" Soifon said "my best buddies"

"I agree" Bambietta said "we get along swimmingly"

"Let me outta here so I can kill you" Soifon said

"I heard a rumour about you" Bambietta said "that you can't have any babies"

"I can't" Soifon said plainly "you've taken a potential life from this world…guard me, day and night never slip up or let me out of your sight because when I get out and I mean when I'll rip your throat out your neck"

"Such hostility" Bambietta chuckled "I also heard that you and Yoruichi are the Mastermind"

"Uh…" Soifon stared at her. How did they come to that conclusion?

"As a matter of fact the reason we've captured you isn't because I hate you or want to get one over on sleeping beauty, by now the bomb would've blown her to smithereens might I add, I have captured you because it seems your girlfriend killed one of our members"  
"Well two if you count Bazz-B" Gisselle said

"Oh yeah" Bambietta said "I always forget about him, I think it's just because he's not got enough presence, he always slipped into the background of a crowd, you know what I mean?"

There was a knock at the door. "Intrude!" Bambietta said poshly. The door opened to reveal a black haired person wearing some kind of mask. "They sent you huh?" Bambietta said "they must really hate her"

"As Noldt here is a very famous model, so they have to wear a mask" Gisselle said "do you know what they specialise in?"

"Is she going to get that bit of hair that sticks up every now and then, I've been meaning to go to a stylist but they're just so expensive" Soifon said grinning.

"Enough of your cheek girly" As Noldt said leaning close to her

"I thought you were a chick but now I'm not so sure" Soifon said "ow" She said as this creepy guy injected her with something.

"I've injected you with a potent fear serum" As Noldt said

"Terrifying" Soifon said. The world seemed to start to melt like it was made out of wax. Whoa! This was some serious acid trip shit! Then the horror began…

***Change***

Toshiro ignored the pain in his head, blood streamed down his face from a deep laceration on his forehead. If Yoruichi hadn't shouted he'd be dead for sure. He knew who'd done this, he knew Stern Ritter 'E' for Explode was Bambietta and now he was going to get revenge. Maybe she'd still be waiting for him in that shed. He had a special surprise for her.

He rested the M1918 BAR LMG variant on his shoulder as he walked. Damn this gun was heavy; in hindsight he should've stolen something a little less conspicuous. He strolled across the football pitch. The Shed was in sight as someone stood guard outside. A strange looking man with a mask and hair sticking out in different directions. Toshiro sighed and pointed his gun as the man noticed him he grabbed for a pistol but it was too late. Toshiro pulled the trigger and unleashed a torrent of FMJ rounds. The strange man was blown back by the powerful bullets. He disappeared through the door.

Toshiro gave the shed a thorough peppering of bullets making sure to pay particular attention to the floor. He stopped firing, this gun really jarred him. Time to see if he'd got anyone. He dropped the LMG on the ground and pulled out a pistol which was tucked in his trousers. He stepped through the ruined door. "Whoa" he said looking at all the blood and guts. "I may have slightly overdone it"

"You think!" Someone said. It took Toshiro a minute to realise Soifon sat covered in blood staring at him with intense eyes

"I wanted a gun that'd raise a few pulses"

"You raised hell never mind pulses" Soifon said "untie me"

"No" Toshiro said. He pointed his pistol at her. "Are you the Mastermind?"

"Are you stupid?" Soifon snapped struggling with her bonds "We've spent all this time warning everyone that there was a Mastermind and you now think it's me?"

"Some people do" Toshiro said "you and Yoruichi are the only people who don't think the Mastermind is evil"

"Oh?"

"The Mastermind is responsible for Nel and Candice's death, Ryuu Shihouin as well, I also spoke to Kukaku Shiba and the Mastermind also killed Kaien Shiba"

"How do you know the Mastermind is responsible for Ryuu?"

"It was a guess" Toshiro said "Ryuu had the Oken, the Mastermind wanted the Oken…put two and two together, and the Mastermind orchestrated Ryuu's demise"

He sighed and untied her. Toshiro looked at Bambietta, she stared blankly at the wall, and she too was covered in blood, had he hit her? The cheeky one, Liltotto was in many different pieces scattered around the room as was some other person. The shed had two doors and the other one lay ajar obviously if there was someone else here they managed a swift escape.

"Who else was here?"

"Meninas and Gisselle" Soifon said "they made a beeline for the exit when you started bustin"

"Damn it" Toshiro said

"You've just killed three Stern Ritter members, Toshiro" Soifon said "what the hell were you thinking?"

"You obviously haven't seen the state of the Kotowari centre" He said

"What happened?"

"This bitch blew it up!" He kicked Bambietta.

"C'mon" Soifon said "All this blood is reminding me of…never mind"

"What were they doing?"

"They were under the impression that I was the Mastermind too" Soifon said "I'm not so I denied it and then that guy you blew up injected me with something that made me hallucinate. All I could do was close my eyes and shut my brain down…uh"

"What?"

"You mind helping me walk" Soifon said "I've got no crutch"

Toshiro let Soifon lean on him and wrap her arm around his shoulder. "Thanks" She said awkwardly.

"Don't mention it"  
"Okay"

"No really" Toshiro said "don't tell anyone I helped you, I've got an appearance to keep up"

"Whatever" Soifon said "I don't like relying on other people much either"

"Stop!" someone said

"Oh what is it now!?" Soifon snapped. Toshiro turned to see someone in a black cloak with a strange skull like mask.

"I know you work for Aizen" The boy said. Toshiro stood staring at him, was this how Soifon felt being called the Mastermind? Was this guy retarded?

"Come again?" Soifon chuckled.

"Yo!" someone now behind them said.

"Everyone's invited!" Soifon said struggling to see whoever it was who spoke. Toshiro turned again.

"Grimmjow?" Toshiro said

"I was walking Pantera and I just happened to hear the sound of heavy gunfire" Grimmjow held a small white dog in his arms.

"Who walks a dog with a sword?" Soifon said pointing at the katana tied to his hip

"In case anyone tried to steal Pantera" He said "He's a pedigree breed, these cost thousands of bucks"

"Oh god" Soifon muttered chuckling "this can't get any more ridiculous"

"Hand over the Hogyoku…and Pantera" said yet another newcomer. A pale green eyed man stared coldly at Toshiro and then Grimmjow.

"No!" Grimmjow said "You stole Pantera from me, you're gonna die!"

"It sounds like there is a party going on out here" Bambietta said emerging from the destroyed shed, she had a bandolier of dynamite sticks wrapped around her chest.

"This is not going to end well" Soifon said "a masked man, two Espada and a Stern Ritter member"

"Completely surrounded" Toshiro said "what are we gonna do?" He looked at Grimmjow who walked forward. He thrust Pantera into Soifon's arms. "Feed him at three" he stared at them "go!"

"He works for Aizen!"

"Wow" Grimmjow said "Ulquiorra, just when I though Aizen couldn't sink any lower when he hired Luppi"

"He does not work for our organisation"

"I'm bored" Bambietta said. She pulled a stick of dynamite from her bandolier, instead of fuse wire they all had buttons on them, the buttons were different colours.

"Go!" Grimmjow said "I want a fight and you guys are in the way"

"He doesn't need to tell us twice" Soifon said "come on"

They quickly made their way across the football pitch as the sound of metal clashing and explosions filled the night air. They wouldn't have long for their fight Toshiro could already hear sirens. "Who'd have thought Pantera was a little dog" Soifon said looking down at the well behaved dog. Toshiro said nothing but continued to walk.

"This day is absolutely appalling" Toshiro said

"I know" Soifon said "and the Prom is next week"

"I'm taking Momo"

"Oh you finally asked her out?" Soifon said

"No" he said "I'm only taking her to the prom"

"Get the lips stuck on her" Soifon said "she digs you and you dig her, you're a match made in heaven"

"What?" Toshiro chuckled "an Ex-amphetamine addicted child genius and a shy girl who was peer pressured into joyriding a dodge viper…right off of a bridge"

"Is that what happened to her?"

"Yeah" He said "I gather that her old friends were dicks"

"Next you'll tell me that they are Bambietta and the others"

He stared at her. "Shit" Soifon chuckled. "do you have a phone, I wanna call a cab or something"

"Call, Yoruichi" he said handing her the phone "her car is fast"

"Makes sense" Soifon said "me and Yoruichi had a bit of a falling out, though"

"So" Toshiro said "she'd drop everything to be with you"

"If you say so" Soifon said dialling her number. He'd have to remember and save that in his contacts later, Yoruichi's number could be very useful, especially if she is the Mastermind. "Hey, it's me…no its Toshiro's phone…I got kidnapped…yes again! No Bambietta this time but the Espada know I have the Hogyoku" she looked slightly shocked "I see, I'll see you later then" She hung up

"What happened?"

"The Police just tried to arrest Yoruichi, they think she killed a guy in the evidence department" Soifon said "She escaped but she's now wanted"

"So she can't pick us up?" He said taking his phone back

"Yes she can" Soifon said "she says she's nearby and can get us in a few minutes"

"Thank god" Toshiro said "I need a sit down"

They walked through the school gates and right on time Yoruichi pulled up…it wasn't her car she was driving but an old rust covered exhaust backfiring car with the back bumper hanging off. "What's this?" Soifon said looking in the window

"Is stole it" Yoruichi said "my car is quite conspicuous y'know"

"Alright then" Soifon said. She got in and Toshiro followed sitting in the back.

"Why does it smell like…dog in here?"

"I dunno, speaking of dogs" Yoruichi said looking back at Pantera "who's is the dog"

"Grimmjow" Toshiro said "it's Pantera"

"Unbelievable" She chuckled "C'mon, I've got to get this Oken by...well technically I'm already late, but I'm guessing the Mastermind meant tomorrow by any time tomorrow" Yoruichi said looking at her watch.

"Could you drop me off at the Kotowari centre, I want to speak to Momo" Toshiro said

"I'll drop you off nearby" Yoruichi said "That place is swarming with police"  
"Did anyone die?"

"They can't find Matsumoto or Hanataro"

"Hanataro?" Toshiro said

"No bodies have been found yet" Yoruichi replied as she drove. He sighed and sat back, Hanataro? Where was he if he wasn't at the Kotowari centre? He was a quiet little dude but there was no way it could've been malicious…

***Change***

Hanataro wondered why he was walking toward the sound of fighting and explosions. The explosion had disorientated him and he spent about three hours wandering around the forest lost and then the sound of fighting erupted.

After an immense explosion the chaos seemed to die down, which was good because he was getting close, he even felt the ground shake with the force of that explosion. He reached the edge of the forest and found himself looking out over the destroyed turf of what used to be the football pitch. He saw a single dead body. A pale man lay dead on the ground, where was everyone else, there had to have been more. He saw someone walk onto the pitch, it was…Principal Bach and someone else, a blonde guy.

Suddenly there was a hand grabbing him. Bambietta gave him an intense look. She was an absolute mess, covered with blood, soil and scorch marks, her face and arms were covered with superficial sword wounds. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder "We are leaving "She said to him "you're my crutch"

"Uh, but he's Principal Bach" Hanataro said. She shot him a fearful look

"That's why we're leaving" She said "get a move on"

"o-okay" He said leading her back the way he came

"You're such a wimp" She chuckled "gotta get some balls if you want to survive on this island"

"I think everyone has too much balls and that's why we're in this mess" Hanataro muttered

"Ha" Bambietta said "perhaps you're right, I sometimes wonder how you sane people work"

"I don't like where this is going"

"Don't worry" Bambietta chuckled "I may be a bitch but I'm not a fucking bitch I don't kill people who help me"

They stumbled through the wood and taking Bambietta's direction they came to a huge manor house. "Home sweet home" Bambietta said smiling "hurry"

"I'm not a horse you know" He said

"Whatever" Bambietta said "take me inside, you'll see my bedroom" she flashed him a seductive glance "you'd be the first boy to have the privilege"

"I dread to think"

"Relax" She chuckled again opening the front door "skittish, Toombs, very skittish" She muttered

He led her inside, the house was very white, white carpet and white walls even white furniture. She made him take a left upstairs and then a right. She opened a door and fell inside. "Oh thank god" she said peeling her top of. Hanataro stared red-faced at the bare-chested girl as she hopped into the on suite bathroom. She closed the door and the sound of a shower running came from within.

He looked around her room. It wasn't quite what he expected, where were all the dead people and bones of babies and stuff. It just looked like the average room of a teenage girl. Some band posters, One Direction weren't really his cup of tea but they didn't really appeal to his denominator so he really wasn't in the position to complain. She had one of those new Xboxes and a top of the range computer. Slyly he wondered if she'd deleted her crazy videos off of her computer or just that website.

He quickly walked up to it and woke it up. She was on Facebook, speaking to some guy called Jayden, they were arranging a date to do some unscrupulous tasks…did she really have no shame at all? He quickly looked through all her videos…most were cheesy recordings of her friends being funny, very teenage girl. A few more were oversaturated recordings of bands in concert. No porn…

He saw a file saying 'Diary' it seemed a little like a trap but he clicked on it anyway. It was a folder of word documents so he clicked on the newest one:

**So… I've just found out that bitch Gisselle plans to burn me. I don't know what to do, I've threw in my chips with the Stern Ritter and now they are after me. I've gone too far with everyone else; no one will help me now…I'm alone, again. Like last time I can feel the darkness slipping in, the pills don't work and dads disappointed in me. He thinks I'm a failure, I can't even stand to look at myself anymore, it's all just, justaekjfvb s;kefnvFWBEF;Oibc;iubqwbkfnBWE;OIUGBvgoiweBIIIIIIIF'Eanc**

Hanataro clicked the cross in the top corner and continued to snoop. His eyes widened when he felt the slightest breath tickle the hairs on the back of his neck. "Having fun?" Bambietta asked

"I-I-I Uh" Hanataro raised his hands defensively

"Whatever" She said "get lost I need to sleep"

"Uh" He said "alright" he turned to leave.

"In fact" She said "will you lie with me"

"Lie?"

"It's not a euphemism" She said "just…hold me…oh god that sounds cheesy…go away"

"I...alright" He said. He quickly walked out the room as Bambietta stared nervously at the floor. He stopped and turned around and walked back in. Perhaps everyone, even Bambietta, deserved a second chance. She gave a small shy smile and slid into bed. He followed her, the mattress was damn comfortable!

She didn't make a single sexual move she merely snuggled between his chest and arm. Hanataro felt like laughing as he remembered once Bambietta had once said that never in a million years would she sleep with Hanataro. …A million years goes by really fast.

***Change***

Yoruichi quickly opened the door of her apartment. "Where did I put it?" She said. She briefly glanced back at Soifon who stood on the threshold looking tentatively inside. "Are you a vampire, do I need to invite you inside"

"Sorry" Soifon said. She stepped inside using the door frame as a crutch.

"I keep a spare crutch in that closet there" Yoruichi said remembering the time she broke her ankle. She rummaged through her stuff and found her jewellery box underneath the letter her dad had given her after he'd died. She found the key inside and smiled as she picked it up. "The Oken" She said. She put the letter back on the box, she glaced at it and froze…her blood ran cold…did that say what she think it said? She check again and again. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" She yelled

"What!" Soifon said looking at her.

"It's…it's" She stared at the ceiling as the pieces fell into place, she'd considered it a possibility but ignored it "I know who the Mastermind is"

"Who?"

"I'll tell you when we get to their hideout"

"How do you know where it is?"

"Because I do" Yoruichi said "come on"

She didn't have time to waste with Soifon crutching around so she picked her up and sprinted out of the room. She ran down the stairs and out of the door. She jumped in the car after putting Soifon in the passenger seat. She put the car in gear and drove.

"Slow down" Soifon said "you'll get us noticed" they were almost there. They pulled onto a dirt trail and drove toward a shipbuilding warehouse. "What's this place?"

"The Mastermind owns this place" She said "I remember getting into an argument with them about wither or not it was a good idea"

"So you knew them?" She said as Yoruichi pulled over

"Oh yeah" Yoruichi grinned. "Come on"

She quickly walked inside the warehouse. It wasn't the warehouse the Mastermind would be using. It'd be the large boat inside that sat on stilts. Yoruichi would never have guess that someone else would use a boat as a base. She quickly walked up a gang plank and into the boat. She waited for Soifon to catch up. "Hurry" She said

"You see awfully excited" Soifon said

"I am" Yoruichi said "I love this part"

"Whatever" Soifon said.

They made their way through the dark boat; there were only a few lit lamps here and there. They eventually came to a room. This one was lived in, the single bed in the corner had blankets on it and a lamp weakly lit the computing equipment lying around. There was another door at the opposite end of the room. Yoruichi heard someone move behind it, it opened but no one was there. "Yoruichi" came the Masterminds strange electronic voice.

"I know who you are"

"The say it" a hand appeared on the door frame

"The person who'd skipped through the entire game on the cusp of sight, the person with access to Pesquisa, and the person who knows how to snipe"

"SAY IT!"

"NELIEL TU ODELSWANCK!"

The Seven stars

Heart of gold

East of god

March west

After the north star falls

Seek justice with tenacity

Tenebrae rises in your heart

Eros wept at the broken hearted man

Rise from the ash

Moloch devours the souls of the innocent

In the tomb of the seven kings

No one seeks finite amounts of gold

Death awaits those that do

Isis stands above the prostrated corpses of her enemies

So do not cry

No one shall be carried up in the Rapture

Easy pickings are the rich of today

Light shall cast out the darkness and you shall see the true face of your adversary

The First letter of each line…

(T)

(H)

(E)

(M)

(A)

(S)  
(T)  
(E)

(R)  
(M)  
(I)  
(N)  
(D)

(I)  
(S)

(N)  
(E)  
(L)

***End of Chapter twenty-one***


	22. Chapter 22: Gambit

Aizen smiled slightly, Neliel was a smart young lady, he'd known he'd seen something inside her when she was younger but he was also younger back then and merely dismissed it. She'd found some way of blocking Pesquisa and thus he'd no idea she was this Mastermind but now Yoruichi Shihouin had found her and her phone was still infected, he heard everything.

He pressed an intercom button "Loly, would be you a dear and send in Nnoitra, please?" he said

"On it" came the reply. Ten seconds later Nnoitra walked through the door.

"You've summoned me?"

"Yes" he replied "It seems Neliel Tu Odelswanck has survived her assassination and is in fact The Mastermind"

"No way!" He said laughing "but she's a retard!"

"Never judge a book by its cover and obviously in this case its first few pages" Aizen said "we all underestimated Neliel and now my parents are dead…do you know how hard it is to pretend to be sad for the press?"

"Uh…no" Nnoitra said "do you know where she is, I'll finish the job"  
"It's to be expected" Aizen said "she owns an old shipyard in Ochita, she's on that boat…be careful"

"Don't worry about me" he chuckled

"I'm not" Aizen said "but if the body of an Espada is discovered by the wrong person it could spell trouble"

***Change***

Juha nudged the dead number four Espada. "How peculiar" He said to Haschwald

"Three dead Stern Ritter and a single dead Espada" He replied "Aizen has moved against us"

"It seems he has" Juha said "we'll need to get rid of these bodies, I don't want the school to be cancelled"  
"What'll we tell the authorities?" Haschwald said "Chief Kuchiki already suspects me of foul play"

"I see" Juha scowled "Not to mention he put his son in this school to keep an eye on me, Yamamoto that old coot, he's still a shark"

"What'll we do?" Haschwald replied "we can't risk trying to get rid of Yamamoto and Aizen at the same time"

"Yes we can!" Juha laughed "Summon ALL the Stern Ritter, today we'll start our cleansing of all crime on this Island. The Mastermind, Shihouin, Shiba, Yamamoto, The Kotowari Centre, Aizen and his Espada will all fall by our crushing grip!"

"It will be done"

***Change***

"N-Nel?" Soifon said "Nel is the Mastermind?" Soifon couldn't believe it, why the hell would she want to destroy the Internet? Nel herself had emerged from behind the door, she was a little worse for wear, she was covered with scars and bruises and her wrist had a cast on it.

"So" Nel said looking at Yoruichi "how did you figure it out?"

"My father" She said "he hid it inside a note"  
"I see" Nel said "Was I ever a suspect in your eyes?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said

"When?"

"When you gave me the warning about the Mastermind, I thought it was a little weird that a Gillian Class Detective would know about a mysterious international criminal"

"But you stopped suspecting me?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "When I was speaking to the Mastermind of the phone you were in the room handing me a folder…that caught me, well played"

"How did she do it?" Soifon asked "a clever recording"

"No" Yoruichi said "Candice!" She shouted "I know you're here somewhere"

"Been here the whole time" Candice said behind them. She leaned on the door frame she had a large scar on her forehead above her right eye.

"It was very clever" Yoruichi said "how you faked your death, getting none other than Kisuke Urahara to do it would make people assume he'd done it right"

"Yes" Nel said smiling slightly "he was very professional, but… he stole _my _shotgun"

"I see" Yoruichi said "No doubt it had rock salt or something in it?"

"Yes" Nel said "I drank an entire bottle of Hierro, my last one in fact; I obviously gave a little to Candice so she could survive the crash"

"One thing I want to know" Yoruichi said

"What?"

"Why?"

"Why?" Nel said raising an eyebrow

"Yes"

"To destroy the internet" Nel said

"Don't take me for a fool" Yoruichi said "Four Lions"

Nel laughed "You caught that reference then, I'm not gonna lie I shit myself when I said it, I was like: oh god she's gonna get that!"

"Four Lions?" Soifon said

"It's a film" Yoruichi said "me and Nel watched it, we had a thorough laugh when they said they wanted to blow up the internet"

Soifon found herself swaying slightly, she was rather dizzy. "Do you want me to explain how I did everything?" Nel said "I've been wanting to gain some appreciation"

"Sure" Yoruichi said crossing her arms

"Well" Nel said "I decided to be the Mastermind when I met Candice, I'd always had the idea bubbling away inside me but she really sat down and listened to what I had to say" She smiled at Candice who chuckled "she thought it was a brilliant idea, to cause disarray and chaos amongst the people and villains that infest this island"

"Is that all you wanted to do?" Yoruichi said "cause disarray?"

"Yes and no" Nel said "obviously we had a goal, a target, we were aiming to make Aizen, Ryuu and Juha Bach all fall, but Aizen has been smart, always hiding in that building with the bulletproof glass" Nel crossed her arms and smiled again "so I decided to play them off one another whilst putting everyone under a veil of confusion by making everyone and their mother stop and focus on the elephant in the room…The Mastermind!"

"So the Mastermind was merely a guise for you, Nel, the Espada"

Pretty Much, that's why I had to fake my death, no one would suspect someone that is dead"

"And whilst everyone is focusing on you there is no better opportunity to sneak behind them all and stab them in the back" Yoruichi said "Well done by the way"

"What?" Nel said

"The Human Hibernation Technique" Yoruichi said "I presume you perfected it, you were pronounced dead upon discovery, the only way to do this is make your body go into hibernation"

"Very perceptive" Nel said "I did perfect the technique but it's still flawed if I don't get woken up within two days I'll die"

"Pesche and Dondochakka are both your subordinates" She said "they resuscitated you and Candice"

"Yes" Nel said "I had to give Candice a special injection since she can't do it herself…she's been really unwell recently, I want to take her to a doctor"

"I'm fine" Candice said. Soifon looked down at her hands; they were blurry, what was happening?

"Anyway a better name than the Mastermind would probably be…" Nel thought for a second "the Flashbang, Loud and Bright and distracts all enemies whilst I go in for the kill"

"By making Aizen and Juha Bach go to war?"

"Yes!" Nel grinned "But this plan…" She smiled sadly at Candice "it's also our suicide, we have to die at a certain point to make it concrete, now that Hanataro and Bambietta are falling in love with each other I'll have to let Candice guilt trip Bambietta into helping the Kotowari Centre, Yamamoto will take back control and when you wake up I want you to play this at the first meeting" She said holding out a disk. Yoruichi went to take it but fell to her knees.

"What did you do?" She said looking at her hands

"I'm surprised you didn't recognise the smell" Nel said smiling. Yoruichi's eyes widened

"You!?" She said "You were the Fedex guy I walked past in the Police Department!"

"Bingozy!" Candice yelled spinning on a computer chair. Soifon felt her legs give way too. Her head was swimming, thoughts were jumbled and frantic.

"There was a powerful knockout gas in the inside of the warehouse, you breathed it in and now you're about to faint"

"I see" Yoruichi said "I underestimated you, once I… I discovered you were Nel I forgot just how meticulous you were"

"Don't worry, Yoruichi" Nel said kissing her forehead "you were the only friend I ever had, the only person I ever loved… until Candice, so I'll give you a little treat" She pushed a USB stick into Yoruichi's hand "keep it and be sure to give Kukaku this" She put a card and a wrapped up bottle of alcohol beside her, Soifon didn't understand, was it Kukaku's birthday or something? She stepped over her, walked over, bent down and looked into Soifon's eyes.

"Soifon, I was just like you…everyone picked on me and bullied me…" she smiled sadly "they all used to call me 'Smell' because I was an only child with both parents out of the house five days a week I had no guidance and thus I fell into shall we say; slight disrepair. I had no self-confidence, I was a freak I couldn't bear to see myself in the mirror, I didn't appreciate just how extraordinary I was, I was spurned for being different and so are you, but ask yourself this Shaolin would you rather be that guy in a black suit in a line of a hundred guys in black suits or that awesome chick in a yellow frock in a line of a hundred guys in black suits" her smile turned warm

"Treasure how unique you are, nothing compares to you. Let me give you this nugget of info…I know what you're capable of" Soifon stared at her confused "I know your father took special care training you, a two point kill technique? You're better than that, I know you hold back because you don't want to show up Yoruichi but listen closely when I say: Yoruichi holds back for you too, she's a lot like a Goddess in the skin of a human, she isn't quite sure how to act so she is like a chameleon and copies the skill level of people around her, use your full potential and Yoruichi will match you I can assure it…Now sleep…"

***change***

Candice looked at Nel and then the two unconscious women "Why didn't you tell them this was Ryuu's plan?"

"She'd try to stop me" Nel said

"I see" Candice said. She stopped when she saw a tall man with a gas mask on standing in the doorway.

"Damn it" Nel said "Nnoitra, you got here fast, couldn't wait to be in my company again?"

"Something like that" He wheezed behind that gas mask

"Alright General Mantis, how about we take this somewhere else?" Nel said glancing back at Yoruichi.

"I don't see why not" Nnoitra said "you're gonna die none the less, why not it be somewhere reasonable?"

"Shut up" Candice snapped "you're at a disadvantage here anyway; you barely fit in this room without having to bend down"

"Such a fiery little bitch" he chuckled turning and walking out.

"Keep taunting him" Nel said "Kenpachi is on his way" She flicked the switch for the extractor fans; they sucked the knockout gas in.

Nel followed Nnoitra. Eventually they got outside and stood facing each other. Former Espada No. 3 and Stern Ritter T vs. Espada No. 5… it was almost funny how unfair it was. "So you're gonna use Pixie Lott for this fight too?" he said looking at Candice

"That's funny coming from the guy that can't take a shit without Tesra helping"

"I do not!" a blonde guy yelled. Emerging from behind a barrel

"Point proven" Nel said raising an eyebrow.

"Why are you here Tesra?" Nnoitra said whipping the gasmask off

"We gonna do this you freakish spoon?" Candice said

"Watch that little doggy of yours, Nel" He said "she might get bitten by a wolf"

"Is Starrk here too?"

"No…I didn't mean it like that…never mind" he said facepalming "even as the smartest person here you're still a retard"

"And doesn't it just get under your skin" Nel smiled "besides, Candice is a Stern Ritter, they are put through very rigorous training, she's probably the strongest person here"

"Hey" Tesra said to Nnoitra "didn't Aizen say we've not to directly engage the Stern Ritter?"

"Yes" Nnoitra said "but she's technically dead…we'll just be…playing a little Resident Evil"

Nel leaned over to Candice "we can't let him capture Soifon, not yet" She whispered "Also, we need to find out who retrieved the Hogyoku from the wreckage of the Kotowari Centre"

"What are you two whispering about?" Nnoitra demanded.

Nel wasted no more time getting this fight started. She ran forward and jumped aiming a kick for his head. Even now, Hierro still made her superhuman. Candice set her sights on Tesra; if she was able to get him out of the way she'd be able to double-team Nnoitra as Nel was still weakened by her false demise.

He was a skilled fighter, he dodged and blocked a lot of her blows but the Stern Ritter train their fighters to be brutal and decisive, this guy was dancing around like a little fairy! "Stand still you son of a bitch!" Candice said in frustration as he dodged another blow. He used the unguarded opportunity to go in for a blow to her ribs. She twisted and dodged herself and drove her knee into his stomach.

He groaned and staggered back. She didn't miss a beat as she kicked his knee then drove a right cross into his chin. She stabbed in two jabs into his stomach and then with a finale, as he leaned forward, she performed a backwards scissor kick rather than the takedown variant she just used her inertia to perform a horrendous kick to the back of his head.

Candice stood up and shook her hand "fuck me, this guy's got skin like steel" She looked over at Nel. She dodged Nnoitra who jabbed at her with some kind of pole he'd obviously picked up. She kicked the pole and elbowed him on the chin. Doing a twirl she kicked low sweeping his feet. Candice took the opportunity to jump up and try to dropkick him in the face but he dodged by rolling out of the way. He jumped to his feet and glanced at Tesra who groaned on the ground. "Useless" he muttered.

"Urgh" Nel groaned grabbing her head. "I'm switching!" She said

"Damn it" Candice said "Where's Kenpach-"

"Yo!" said the very man behind her "Someone said you were dead, Nel" Kenpachi said

"You know me" She chuckled "I just won't stay down"

"Don't I know it" He chuckled flicking his sword idly. "Why are you looking so distressed, your normally quite cold when you fight"  
"Unfortunately" Nel said "I can't fight you today, I'm just about to turn into a child again"

"That doesn't sound fun to fight" He said scratching his chin "That blonde can handle herself, I'll take her"

"I'll raise you" Nel said stepping to the side and revealing Nnoitra standing with the pole in his hand.

"Tesra" Nnoitra said looking at the now recovered man "get rid of him"  
"Consider it done" he said walking forward.

"Give me a bit of credit" Kenpachi said. He lazily swung his sword and with a splatter of blood Tesra fell in half; his body bifurcated diagonally down his chest.

"Do we have a deal?" Nel said

"Is he one of those…Espada?"

"Yes"

"What number?"

"Five"

"So he was stronger than Grimmjow" Kenpachi grinned "this'll be fun!"

Candice wasted no time in coming to Nel's aid and helping her flee. Kenpachi ignored them and Nnoitra tried to chase but fell afoul of a powerful kick from Kenpachi. Candice was really starting to worry about Nel, her child mode was random, for three months she never once reverted to it but then she turned six times in a week. "Hurry" Nel said "we've not got much time"  
"I'm going as fast as I can here" Candice muttered "your massive boobs are weighing us down"

"Sounds like jealousy to me" Nel said

"I'd rather be the person sucking on the massive titties rather than the person with the massive boobs" Candice said pushing the door open. She glanced back at Kenpachi and Nnoitra fighting, it was like watching two demons clashing in a blood drenched duel just for the hell of it.

Candice unlocked their car and let Nel fall into the passenger seat. "Safe house three" Nel said with her head in her hands.

"On it" Candice said jumping in the driver's seat" She turned the key in the ignition and put the car in gear. She drove down the dirt track and away out of Seireitei. Nel dozed beside her, when she wakes up she'll be a child again. Candice loved Nel, every aspect of her, she'd die for Nel. In truth Candice didn't want to die but Ryuu insisted it'd have to be this way, he'd already threw his life away for the plan and soon Nel and Candice would have to do the same. Not to mention she'd have to guilt trip Bambietta before it is revealed she is one of the Mastermind's sides. So much to do! Hopefully Kukaku will be frustrated about how useless she is and make her move…it'll be an absolutely devastating one. When the Shiba clan moves, the seas rise, the earth quakes and skies fall.

She eventually came to Safe House three, a lovely cabin in a slight valley with a strange magnetic rock called Seki-Seki which blocked almost all communication and thus provided a safe zone from Pesquisa. She carried Nel inside and locked the door. She sat down and sighed. "What a day" She muttered. Nel groaned and sat up

"Candy?" She said looking at her  
"S'up" Candice said

"Where are we?" She looked around

"Safe house"  
"Thafe house?" She looked confused

"Here" Candice said throwing her a Nintendo DS "play with that whilst I make you some food"  
"Can we get a KF-thee?" Nel said

"Unfortunately Safe House Three has no reception" Candice said

"Thith suckth"

"Wait!" Candice said "You just said an 'S'"

"N-No I didn't!"

"Yes you did…you don't have a lisp do you?"

"…Yeth I do" She said staring innocently. Candice stared at her. Maybe it was just a reflexive use as her adult mode speaks properly. Candice looked through the cupboards and fridge. Eggs were still fresh; they'd planned Safe House Three recently and put some supplies in for the stay.  
"Omelette" Candice said "How does that sound?"

"Thounds good" Nel said prodding the DS idly with the stylus.

Candice quickly made Nel's food and put it on a plate. She brought the plate over and sat down next to Nel. She cut the Omelette into pieces; Nel stared into Candice's eyes. It always made her feel awkward when she did it but also it made her quite happy to know that even to this day Nel still found her attractive as when she was a child she couldn't control impulses and often when she thought about something adult like sex or how attractive someone was she just stared stupidly at whatever it was…usually Candice.

"Open wide" Candice said prodding a bit of Omelette with a fork and holding it out to her.

"Ah" She said as she opened her mouth wide. "Um" She mumbled as she took the Omelette from the fork. "Yummy" She said leaning on Candice. Candice kissed her cheek, ignoring how she smelt, with Nel body odour was quite common but Candice didn't care, no one was perfect.

Omelette was finished she stripped Nel down and put on her pyjamas. "Bed time" Candice said  
"But Nel want-th to th-tay up and play" Nel said putting emphasis on 'play' meaning she wanted sex. Candice would admit it was a bit weird sleeping with a woman acting like a child but she was fifty times better in bed in child mode.

"Alright" Candice chuckled pushing her onto the bed. She straddled her and said "let's have some fun"

***Change***

The President of the USA. It's not a title that everyone could admit they have but for the man that sat proudly behind the desk in the Oval Office he could say it loud and proud and often did, when he was giving speeches 'I am the President!' when visiting troops in whatever shitty war-torn Arab country it was this year 'I am the President!' when he was in the shower 'I am The President!' of course he was put back into his place one that phone rang…which it did with annoying regularity.

He picked it up when it became such an event. "Good afternoon" came a sickeningly familiar female voice. He shook as he held the phone

"It's…" He wiped sweat from his forehead "it's you"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Kukaku Shiba said

"So the Shiba still has our direct number"

"Of course" Kukaku replied "I heard about you cheating on your wife, why Filipino Hookers?"

"How did you know about that!?" He snapped

"Is it because they hold a special package in their panties that you just loooove to suck on?"

"Answer me!" He said

"Shut up" She snapped back "I will disregard this information for a favour Mr 'President' and I use the term President loosely because we all know the Shiba Clan has the most power in this country and it's been that way since you ridiculous corrupt, weak, pathetic, fat, meek, hypocritical, deceitful, retarded…uh assholes can't keep it in your pants but what the hell at least you aren't like that last one…he was into the kids…must've been a fan of Lost Prophets…" She chuckled "too soon?"

"What do you want?"

"I want you to get rid of Sosuke Aizen"

"The Governor of Rukon?"

"Yes" Kukaku replied "he's made life a bit difficult for me and I want him to…die"

"I see" he said "do you promise to get rid of this information?"  
"I do" She said

"How do I know?"

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" She snapped again "they tell you about my family when you get put into office, we ALWAYS stick to our word, it's how we've survived"

"I see" He said "it will be done"

"Excellent!" Kukaku replied. She hung up and The President dropped the phone into its cradle.

"Uh...could you send me in The Advisor" The President said into an intercom. A few seconds later woman stepped through the door. "I was contacted by Kukaku Shiba"

"What did she want?"

"Sosuke Aizen gone" He said

"Not impossible" She said "How do you plan to do it, the squad for getting rid of all Political people?"

"Yes" He sighed "we'll have to summon _them_ again, so soon"

"I see"

"The command is Top-Top Secret, contact Kugo Ginjo" He said "Tell them I want an Xcultion"

[End of Chapter Twenty-Two]

**You may be wondering what other evidence that Nel was the Mastermind was littered around the story, I'll list them… I don't remember all of them…**

** The first reference was as early as chapter one. Where Nel thinks she was 'not nice when she was a child' and that she'd been given a 'second chance' referring to Ryuu's plan and that she was nasty…**

** Another was in the flashback; Nel had her weak to ice-type Pokémon called Sollertis…which is Latin for Mastermind…lol.**

** The last one was…it would have been difficult to notice but when Nel and Candice were talking about the Mastermind they were being sarcastic, that's why they were laughing…**

**I can't remember any more.**

** I also hope people got that General Mantis pun, I hope you did, I'll be very disappointed if you didn't…**


	23. Chapter 23: Moot

Hanataro woke when it was finally light outside, the events of last night merely a memory and an ache in his legs. Bambietta no longer lay next to him. "You're finally awake?" She said looking back at him from her computer.

"Uh yeah" He said sitting up "your bed is really comfy"

"I should think so" She muttered "it cost three grand"

"What's … err gonna happen now?" He said

"Dunno" Bambietta replied "go back to your friends, they deserve your help more than me"

"Okay" He said

"Also" Bambietta said sighing "I stole this from Soifon's room" she said holding out a strange blue gem "I think she should have it back"

"Okay" he said taking it from her.

"It's beautiful, tell her to tell you what it's called I wanna get one for myself" She said staring dreamily at it.

"I will" he said "you should…" he thought about how to phrase it "try to help people, I know what it's like to fall into darkness and feel so alone but sometimes to help yourself you have to help other people"

"We'll see" Bambietta said "I need to disappear for a few days and think about stuff"

"Alright" he said

"You remember where the door is?"

"Yeah"

"Goodbye then, Hanataro" She said turning back to her computer. He watched her for a few seconds and then turned and left. Outside the sun was nice and warm but there looked like a weather front was heading in. His phone rang… "Hello?" he said answering it.

"Hanataro" Toshiro said "Where are you?"

"Err" he looked back at the house "I saw who stole the Hogyoku and I tracked them and stole it back" he lied.

"Oh hey" Toshiro replied "you're not completely useless, anyway there is a meeting in Kukaku's bar, everyone who's anyone is gonna be there"

"I'm invited?" He said confused

"Of course, you currently carry the Hogyoku, which makes you the bearer of the ring of power so to speak" Toshiro chuckled "now come to the meeting and let's see who tells us one doesn't simply _walk_ into Mordor"

"I'll be there soon" Hanataro said

"Alright" He replied

"Wait!" Hanataro said "I thought you were in the Kotowari Centre when it blew up?"

"No" Toshiro said "I got out before it went haywire, also I may have pissed off the Stern Ritter, Liltotto Lamperd, you remember her?"

"The little one?"

"Yeah well…she's now even smaller" Toshiro said

"I dread to think" Hanataro replied

"Come soon, we're just waiting for Kenpachi and freekin' Lady and the Tramp"

"I'm on my way" Hanataro said "bye"

"See ya" Toshiro replied before hanging up. Hanataro sighed as he walked out of the Basterbine Manor's large garden. He decided he'd be the one to try to help Bambietta, everyone was doing their part; he had to do something too and he sucked at fighting. Maybe he could make Bambietta a friend rather than a foe but he was worried they wouldn't accept her and he was also worried the frustration of being shunned by the people she's trying to help will make her relapse into an even deeper darkness.

Crossing the road he was forced to jump back by a car nearly running him over. It stopped and a scary looking man got out. He sauntered over to Hanataro. "Good morning" He said with a deep voice. "My name is Detective Leroux"

"Uh…h-hi" Hanataro said backing away. It was very early in the morning and there weren't any people on the streets.

"Give me the Hogyoku, child" He said holding out his hand. His hand instinctively went to his pocket and covered it.

"No!" He said turning to run. His feet were kicked from under him and he fell over. He lay sprawled on the asphalt. He shivered with fear as the man loomed over him

"You're making this harder than it could be" He said

"When one becomes a teacher" said someone to his left "they make a vow to never allow one of their students be harmed under their gaze"

"M-Mr Kuchiki?" Hanataro said staring at him.

"Rukia" He said to the young girl by his side "grab Hanataro and go to the Moot"

"On it" She said running forward

"Like I'd let you!" the Detective said swinging a sword for her throat. The sword collided with Mr Kuchiki's own sword. Hanataro blinked…he was fast, he'd never seen anyone move so quickly "hmm" the Detective mumbled "even with Hierro you are equal to my speed, do you have access to it?"

"People like you are pathetic" Mr Kuchiki said smiling slightly "you need drugs to achieve this level of physical fitness, I merely trained and practiced and took some tips from…_her_"

"C'mon little dude" Rukia said helping him up "let's not get in Nii-Sama's way"

"Nii?" Hanataro said "He's your bother?"

"Yes"

"Go!" Mr Kuchiki snapped kicking Detective Leroux back.

"Time to move" Rukia said starting to run

"Take Zommari's car" Mr Kuchiki said

"I don't know how to drive and you always give me into trouble when I break the law"

"Less of the sass" Mr Kuchiki snapped "The Law isn't a question here"

Rukia jumped into the car and Hanataro followed. She rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a cartoon bobble headed rabbit. "I can't drive without Chappy keeping me company" She put it on the dashboard and snapped the car into gear and accelerated. "This is intense" She said looking back as she drove. Another car pulled up beside them. An attractive blonde rolled down the window and pointed a pistol at them "Fucksticks!" Rukia said breaking.

A hail of bullets peppered the car. Hanataro could only put his hands over his head and hope he didn't get hit. "See if this guy had a gun in the glove box" Rukia said calmly. He opened the glove box, after stopping and staring at his album collection, Katy Perry, Britney Spears and the Spice Girls, he found a gun. The cold hunk of metal was heavy in his hand. "Give it here" she said pulling the gun from his hands and sliding the chamber back.

"She's pulling up again" Hanataro said

"Go away!" Rukia yelled at her "what did we ever do to you!?"

"I don't think she's going to reply" Hanataro said as the woman stuck an assault rifle out of the window.

"Oh shitbiscuits!" Rukia yelled and slammed her foot down. The car accelerated as the blonde woman unleashed a torrent of bullets in their general direction.

"I'm gonna die!" Hanataro wailed in the passenger seat as Rukia weaved in and out of early morning traffic. She stuck her hand out of the window and fired. The bullets struck the others car's tires and sent it spinning into a lamppost.

"Yeah!" Rukia yelled grinning "that's how we do it on Inuzuri, bitch!"

"I-I-I wanna go home" He said

"Come off it" She grinned at him "this is just the beginning, more car chases…you can always rely on me to drive, 'cuz that's what I do!" She said making a pose.

He managed to control his breathing a little as the car choked and spluttered down the street. "This baby took a lot of damage" Rukia said stroking the dashboard. Chappy nodded away as she turned a corner. "We're nearly at the bar little dude" She said "quick question" She added

"What?" he said

"Why were you walking out of the Basterbine family grounds?" She looked at him sideways

"Uh…" He shifted in his seat "Bambietta stole the Hogyoku and I stole it back"

"Kudos" She said nodding "little bitch, I hear she's been tearing it up, I'd like to get my hands on her scrawny neck"

"No" Hanataro said "Bambietta can be redeemed, I'll fix her!"

"Do you truly believe you can do it?" She asked

"I suppose" he said "I'm willing to give it a try, it's the very least I can do"

"I see" She said "getting rid of Bambietta be it making her an ally or killing her doesn't really matter to me just don't expect me to be her friend"

"I don't really intend to let her mingle too much with the others anyway" Hanataro said "I want to kind of be a middle man between her and Ukitake, I know Ukitake will help"

"Maybe" She said "even his generosity has a limit and Bambietta didn't just _cross _the line she burnt it, raped it and sent it's body parts to its family"

"I still think she can be redeemed"

"I'm not disagreeing" She said pulling up beside Kukaku Shiba's bar. "I wonder who all will be here"

"I hear it's everybody who'd everybody" Hanataro said. They stepped out of the car and walked toward the bar just as Yoruichi, Soifon and Kenpachi walked out of the car park. All three looked a mess.

"What happened to you?" Rukia said

"The Exequias" Yoruichi said

***Change and Three hours ago***

Yoruichi groaned awake. "Crap" She muttered "I fucked up again, Soifon" She said nudging her. Soifon opened her eyes and stretched.

"My head is killing me" She said rubbing her eyes.

"Same" Yoruichi said trying to ignore the dull pounding in her head. She placed the CD, USB and Kukaku's gifts in a bag and stood up shakily. "I haven't felt like this since I was nineteen"

"We'd better hurry" Soifon said looking at her phone "Yamamoto has ordered a meeting and we're invited"

"I see" Yoruichi said "c'mon then"

They staggered out of the room, as they got closer to the exit the sound of metal clashing became louder and louder. "What's happening?"

"Maybe Nel got held up" Yoruichi said. They made their way to the exit and stopped as Kenpachi and a tall man fought. Upon closer inspection Yoruichi realised that tall guy was one of the Espada.

"Let's get rid of this guy" Soifon said hobbling forward.  
"Yoruichi" Kenpachi said looking back at them "what are you guys doing here?"

"We were knocked out by Nel" She said "need a hand?"

"No!" He said wiping blood from his forehead "I haven't had a fight this extreme since I got on the wrong side of Kukaku"

"We haven't got all day" She said walking forward. With a startled gasp she jumped back just narrowly avoiding a lazy slash from Kenpachi

"Go away" he said.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're an asshole!?" Yoruichi snapped clenching her fist

"I usually cut them down afterwards but I hear it a lot" Kenpachi muttered

"Stop fucking around!" Nnoitra roared jumping at Kenpachi and swinging at him with the pole. There was another clang as Kenpachi blocked the swing.

"He's obviously gonna attack us too if we try to intervene so what'll we do?" Soifon said

"Fuck him" Yoruichi said "just leave him we'll go to this meeting without him. They turned to leave but stopped when a large group of strange people started running in, they all wore identical skull masks besides the leader who had what looked like a goat type skull mask.

"What're these guys supposed to be?" Soifon muttered

"Another of Aizen's cronies" Yoruichi said

"See" Kenpachi said as his sword ground against Nnoitra's pole "that'll keep you occupied whilst you wait"

"You expect us to get them all?" Yoruichi said cocking her head at him "there must be about thirty of them"

"I know about you" He said kicking Nnoitra back "you'll barely work up a sweat"

Yoruichi smiled and crossed her arms. "So" She said to the group of people "who's first?"

"Thanks for thinking about me in this" Soifon said picking up a pole and using it to lean her weight on.

"That cast can be used as a weapon and since it's your left leg and right arm broken you can work with only one crutch" Yoruichi shrugged

"Don't expect anything spectacular" Soifon said. Yoruichi grinned and stepped in front of her.  
"You take the majority and I'll get rid of their leader"

"Why not let me take the single dude and you take the masses?" Soifon said

"…whatever" Yoruichi said shrugging

"It won't matter" The leader said withdrawing a sword, the rest of his subordinates did the same with surprising unison. They all ran forward trying to over whelm her with their numbers but Yoruichi flicked a brick at them and jumped back dodging sings of the swords. The brick smashed into the face of one of the many guys. He fell down unconscious. One down…twenty-nine to go. She disarmed another and used his sword to block another. Whilst doing this she kicked another sword out of someone's grip and it lodged through another's chest. She threw her sword into the face of another and did a handstand which went into a twirling kick. This knocked a few back and took out only two.

She jumped back three times to give herself more space. One of the stupider ones fell afoul to Kenpachi when they strayed too close to his fight. Soifon expertly dodged and blocked the leader's strikes. She was a damn skilled young girl; even Yoruichi sparred with her she knew she held back a little. Even those rings in her hair were weapons, often striking the eyes of anyone who strayed too close.

Yoruichi flipped one over that went in for a wide slash. When he was on the ground she kicked his head and flicked her shoe into the face of another who let his guard down which allowed Yoruichi to drive an elbow into his stomach. She then dodged a futile slash, a kick and a punch. Her mind raced, fighting was one of her true releases. She could somewhat sympathise with Kenpachi, when one was locked in bloodthirsty conflict with another person there was kind of euphoria with smacking someone's jaw out of its hinge.

She kicked a few more to the ground and found herself chuffed and surrounded by thirty either dead, dying or unconscious enemies. She brushed herself off and smiled at Soifon who prodded the leader of this…group with her pipe. "Damn it" Nnoitra said looking back at the Skull masked crowd "who'd have thought mere _women_ could defeat the Exequias"

"That's why you're gonna lose!" Kenpachi said swinging his sword "The toughest fight I've ever had was a woman!"

Yoruichi watched Kenpachi as he finally took up a kendo stance. He'd obviously had enough of Nnoitra or maybe, judging by his wounds, he might lose if he didn't. "I can't lose to the likes of you" Nnoitra said raising the pole "it just isn't physically possible!"  
"Physics matter little in the world I live in" Kenpachi laughed "all that matters is wither or not you're strong enough to give me at least a little fun in battle"

With an almighty roar they both lunged at each other. Yoruichi smiled slightly as Nniotra's pole fell in half…as did the rest of his body. With a spluttering cough he grabbed Kenpachi's ankle "I'll still kick your ass" Nnoitra said

"How you gonna do that?" Kenpachi said "I just cut you in half"

"I can…still…" he never finished he just exhaled his last breath and lay motionless on the ground.

"Poor bastard" Kenpachi chuckled "you're not a man if you can't accept defeat"

"Coming from a man who keeps fighting until all his limbs are cut off and even then I think you'd try to head-butt the enemy to death"

"That's not giving up not accepting defeat I accept defeat when I'm dead!"

"Isn't that what he was doing?"

"Silence, woman and stop poking holes in my logic" Kenpachi said "what's this I hear about a meeting?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "Yamamoto has commanded a moot to elect a leader for the mess that could be called the 'good guys'"

"Why are we going, you're still wanted?" Soifon said

"I doubt the po-po will be there" Yoruichi said "better get a move on, the sun has risen"

"You'd better be in a condition to drive" Kenpachi said "'cause I'm probably gonna pass out soon"

"C'mon" Yoruichi said "I hope this car starts again, I was a pain in the ass to get going first time"

"Use mine" he said following them. He laughed "three people emerge blood-soaked from a warehouse; a big guy with bells in his hair, a smokin' black chick and an injured teenager, it's like a bad joke"

"This whole year has been like a bad joke" Yoruichi said

"Or a poorly thought out story by someone who keeps victimising me on impulse" Soifon mumbled

"What?"

"Nothing"

They all sorely got into Kenpachi's car. She took the keys from him and slid them into the ignition and turned them. The car rumbled to life and she put it into gear. "Have you started your driving lessons yet?" Yoruichi asked Soifon.

"Why do I need driving lessons, I know how to drive I just need to take the test and make it official" She replied

"Get it booked so I can buy you a car" She said thinking about the shiny sparkling vehicles she could buy for Soifon. Maybe a Porsche? No! She'd get a Maserati, something Italian!

The drive to the bar was uneventful and quite boring; Yoruichi had gotten so used to people trying to kill her every half an hour mundane things became more boring than they should be. She parked lazily in the car park, she didn't even care that she'd dented an expensive looking Bentley with the door. Shaking her head she held Soifon as they walked. "What a fucking day" Soifon said "I could sleep for a week"

"I agree" Yoruichi said "there are Hanataro and Rukia" she said

"Rukia who?" Soifon said looking at the girl

"Byakuya Kuchiki's sister" Yoruichi said

"What happened to you guys" Rukia asked

"The Exequias" Yoruichi said shaking her head.

They all stepped in the bar to basically uncoordinated rabble. Almost every table had a group of people sitting by it, they all argued amongst each other. Kukaku stood behind the bar looking rather annoyed. "Silence!" Yamamoto snapped. He sat on one of the chairs that lined the wall. "Now that everyone of relevance is here, we can begin"

"I've got a warrant for your arrest, Yoruichi" Sojun Kuchiki said "care to explain?"

"I can" Yoruichi grinned and crossed her arms "I've discovered the biggest mystery of the century, the identity of the Mastermind"

"Who might it be?" Yamamoto said

"I'm telling you it's Yoruichi" Matsumoto said pointing

"It can't be" Ukitake said "I'd notice something like that in Soifon's room"

"Yet you never once noticed she had the Hogyoku which is still missing might I add!" said Matsumoto

"Shut it!" Yoruichi snapped "The Mastermind is not anyone in the room. Could you bring over your laptop, Kisuke?"

"Sure" He said carrying it over. He sat it down on the table and took the disk from Yoruichi. He slid it into the drive and clicked play. Everyone huddled around the screen.

The screen burst to life with a poorly edited intro that was obviously made with Windows Movie Maker after the horrifically embarrassing intro was over the screen went dark. "You all may be wondering who the Mastermind is…" came Nel's mechanical voice which was due to some kind of modified Dictaphone. "And judging by Yoruichi's sense of theatrics she never said so…"

The picture became clear. It was and empty room. Nel slid in from the left on a computer chair "Yeah it's me!" She said grinning into the camera "Fooled ya all, even you…" She gave the camera a dark look "Slushy Man" Kisuke let out a startled groan. "Anyway" she said "I'm one for extreme theatrics so I'm gonna say this and only this… Aizen will not fall so easily, Yamamoto, you pig-headed buffoon you can't beat him"

"Tsch" He tutted "might as well try"

"I know" She said nodding "you might as well try or something along those lines, I'm surprised you showed up to this meeting by the way…Ryo"

"Oh thanks" Ryo grinned

"I bet you just thanked me…this is a recording, dumbass" She snapped "anyway I am indeed the Mastermind and I indeed framed Yoruichi for the murder of Cang Du the evidence guy I merely need to distract you Sojun whilst I snuck into your office and stole some papers…I also scratched all your CD's" She grinned happily. Sojun tutted and crossed his arms.

"And you" Nel's eyes went straight to where Kukaku stood "Kukaku, summoning Xcution, a bold move"

"How did she?" Kukaku took two steps to the right. Nel's eyes followed her. "That's freaky!" Kukaku waved an arm at the screen. Nel waved back, she then burst out laughing

"I bet you're freaked out" She laughed "I'm a mentalist just like Ryuu I know what you'll do before even you do, that was just a brief demonstration of my foresight, now know that you are all just puppets on my strings but don't fret I need most of you alive so I'll just leave you to make your own delicious…well I'll leave you to think you're making your own decisions when really I've set this up for months and you guys are all playing into my hands like chess pieces" She smiled "anything to add, Candice?"

"Yeah" The blonde assistant's face filled the entire screen "you must construct additional pylons!"

The DVD ended and everyone was left in stunned silence. "Oh I also had to give you this" Yoruichi said rummaging in her bag. She held the gifts out to Kukaku. Kukaku tentatively took them. She unwrapped the bottle and peered at it.

"Nel gave you these?" She said looking at her

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "Dom Perignon Rose is certainly an expensive brand to be giving out for free"

"I've got a funny feeling" Kukaku said opening the card. Yoruichi stared at the card.

"Kukaku?" She said

"Yeah?"

"Why does that card say 'Congratulations on your child'?"

"Yeah" Kukaku said throwing the card down and walking back behind the bar "I may have gotten myself knocked up"

"Y-You?" Yoruichi stared at her best friend "are you gonna keep it?"

"I guess" She said

"Yes, yes, yes!" Yoruichi exclaimed "can I be its godmother? I wanna buy it stuff, for its first birthday I'll get it an iPad and some books, needs to study"

"You and Kisuke are like peas in a pod, you know that, right?" Kukaku said raising an eyebrow. "And no I'm not gonna get the kid baptised, I want religion to be its choice"

"Whatever" Yoruichi said "we might as well address the elephant in the room"

"None the less" Mayuri Kurotsuchi shrilled "we have to sit back and study Aizen…also Kukaku you have to let me make some vitamin concoctions for your child make it nice and strong when it's born"

"Yeah and with three heads and demon horns" She said "no thanks"

"Oh come now" He said chuckling "that is only a thirty percent chance"

"No!" Kukaku said

Yoruichi noticed Hanataro hand Soifon the Hogyoku and after a small whisper argument she nodded and dropped it into her pocket. "I assume there is no way to destroy this Hogyoku without severe consequences?" Yamamoto asked

"There are ways" Kisuke said "we'd have to bombard it with a large volume of electrons in a large Hadron Collider for seven hours"

"That doesn't sound hard" Grimmjow said

"We'd need roughly twenty six tonnes of uranium to do this"

"Jeez" Soifon muttered

"Alright" Yamamoto said "I do know a tad bit of chemistry and physics and I know that there are elements with higher densities than Uranium would they not suffice"

"We'd need roughly element 130 to do this and we've only got up to 118"

"How much of this…118 would we need?"

"A cube about this size" Kisuke gestured about a metre

"Still too big" Shaozu said "perhaps you could design a particle accelerator yourself and use the Hogyoku as fuel to generate element 130?"

"Theoretically but I'd have to do some major calculations, the element may only have a half-life of nanoseconds and be so radioactive that a millisecond outside in the open air will dissolve everything in a nine mile radius and kill every living thing on the western seaboard"

"Could be potentially fatal" Ukitake said "what'll we do?"  
"Kisuke" Yamamoto said "collaborate with Kurotsuchi, Mr Feng and Mr Shihouin to build this particle accelerator and work on destroying the Hogyoku"

"I'll try"

"Miss Shihouin and Miss Feng you are the last line of defence in protecting it" He said "which makes you the most important people here"

Everyone looked at them. Soifon shifted her weight awkwardly. "Do you have anywhere to stay?" Ryo asked

"Not really" Yoruichi replied "I've got a little one bedroom in the apartment blocks of Ochita but I don't know if it's compromised"

"Use it" Ryo said "only five people are allowed in" he pointed at Toshiro "you're number one, you liaise with the rest of the Kotowari Centre i.e. Hinamori, Renji, Ukitake, you Kukaku, you Grimmjow, you Shaozu and finally Rukia you all have your respective groups and factions"

"What about me?" Mayuri said looking slightly hurt

"What about you?"

Everyone stood up and went about their business. Now some gears were turning, it felt good to finally have a leg to stand on, Yamamoto scowled at the ground. Yoruichi chuckled when she realised that Ryo had basically took over as leader of the group. Everyone froze and stared. Yoruichi raised an eyebrow and turned to see what they were all staring at.

Aizen stood smiling slightly "Good afternoon" he said holding out a piece of paper to Soifon. No one moved. SWAT completely surrounded the building. "Shaolin Feng" he said "I hereby revoke your citizenship and give you notice to leave the country before you are deported"

"You can't do that" Sojun said standing up "it's illegal"

"No it's not" Aizen said "she's a criminal after all. Detain her"

Yoruichi's blood ran cold as a Swat member grabbed her. "You can't do this" She said slapping his arm away.

"Freeze!" they all said in unison pointing their submachine guns at her.

"I…" Soifon looked confused but offered no resistance as she was pulled.

"Let her go!" Yoruichi demanded trying to push past a SWAT guy. Her mind raced for a solution, she couldn't think of anything.

"Now, now" He said smiling "Soifon is a little delinquent"

"You bastard!" She said "get off me"

She struggled against the SWAT members as Soifon stared wide-eyed back at her as she was being carried off. "No!" She was nearly gone, her lover, a close friend, the person she cared most about in this world "Soifon!" Yoruichi said desperately "Soifon…Will you Marry me?"

[End of chapter twenty- three]


	24. Chapter 24: Nuptials

"Marry us" Yoruichi said to Kukaku "I know you're qualified" she pulled Soifon from a SWAT guy and stood her beside her. "You can't deport someone who's married to an American citizen

"Unless it's been proven that the marriage is fraudulent" Aizen smiled "and you've obviously only asked her to marry you to keep her in the country, sounds fraudulent to me. Not to mention she hasn't said yes yet"

"Yes" Soifon looked up at Yoruichi "I will marry you"

"See" Yoruichi said

"Still fraudulent"

"I'm willing to stand as witness to their true love" Ryo said

"Same here" Shaozu

"Me too" Toshiro said

"Me three" Momo added

Aizen scowled. "Uh…dearly departed we are gathered here today" Kukaku said

"That's not how it goes!" Toshiro said

"I can't remember it" Kukaku said red-faced "fuck it, Soifon do you take Yoruichi to be you're lawful wedded waifu in sickness and in health?"

"I do"  
"Yoruichi, do you take Shaolin to be your lawful wedded...uh…wife in sickness and health?"

"I do"

"Uh rings?"

Everyone checked their pockets and hands. After three long minutes of rummaging and arguing amongst themselves two ramshackle rings were produced. One was a piece of wire wrapped in yellow silk and the other was a mood ring. The mood ring was given to Soifon to slide onto Yoruichi's hand and Yoruichi took the makeshift ring to put on Soifon's finger.

She'd never had imagined her marriage would be to an injured dishevelled teenager in a bar full of criminals, delinquents and gangsters. "Uh, you may now kiss the bride" Kukaku said "whichever one that is"

Yoruichi leaned forward and kissed Soifon, she didn't even flinch, and she kissed Yoruichi back lovingly. Even as all these people stared at them. Yoruichi pulled back. "Woo!" Kukaku said "I bet you're mighty pissed that one of your polices was full legalisation of gay marriage"

"Wars are not won by single battles" Aizen said walking out of the bar. The SWAT team followed him.

"Yeah!" Grimmjow said "looks like this has just turned into a wedding Reception, time to get drunk!"  
"Woo" A few people wailed

"First round is on me!" Yoruichi laughed. She looked down at Soifon who grinned happily. "I thought you'd be at least a little awkward about this"

"I wasn't" Soifon said "I just didn't feel it, normally my brain just shuts down and I freeze up it didn't happen, I wanted this too badly"

"We'll get properly married someday" Yoruichi said

"This was a proper wedding" Soifon smiled at her. They sat down at a table and Ichigo dropped a plate of fried on the table, they'd ordered fries to eat ever time they'd been in the bar. Ichigo didn't look too well though. "I've got a bone to pick with you dickhead" Soifon said

"What?" he said

"I know it was you, who was after Toshiro last night"

"Yeah" He said looking back at Toshiro "I thought this Mastermind was a good guy"

"So did we" Yoruichi said "besides, fighting Grimmjow, Ulquiorra and Bambietta is a serious achievement"  
"Maybe so" Ichigo said turning away "but the war isn't won yet"

"Don't be such a drag, have some fun" Yoruichi smiled. Ichigo continued to walk away.

"I don't think I've been this happy all week even with all things considered" Soifon said.

"Me too" Yoruichi grinned. She held out her hand and her mood ring glowed a nice warm pink…

***Change***

Bambietta woke up, she'd gone for another nap after Hanataro left, she'd decided to actually help Hanataro but she didn't know what to do, what did good guys do? She stretched and her eyes snapped open when her foot touched something. She sat up and felt her heart skip a beat.

Candice sat on her bed looking at a framed picture of her and Bambietta that they'd taken before they went to see the Cirque du Soleil. It had inspired Bambietta to take up figure skating and the collection of ribbons and trophies on a shelf proved that this was a wise decision. "Wha…" Bambietta gasped

"You thought I was dead" Candice smiled at the picture "I remember this day, you decided to be a figure skater after this…the attention got to your head and you lost it, remember?"

"I do" she stared at Candice "how are you still alive, I heard you were dead!"

"Death is for the weak" Candice chuckled "I liked you" She said "I really did, before you lost it you were a genuinely awesome chick, I even wanted you"

"You know how I feel about that stuff" Bambietta said

"and thus you knew nothing about me" Candice said "despite liking you, you were an awful friend, you didn't care about me I was just an accessory"

"I never said that" Bambietta said

"But it's true and you know it" She replied "that's why they've all abandoned you, Gisselle has betrayed you, Liltotto is in pieces and Meninas doesn't have a brain to speak of"

"Shut up" Bambietta said "I tried seventeen times to stop the desire and anything I tired made it worse, sex, drugs, fights, even the explosions couldn't stop my killing desire"

"What about love?" Candice finally looked at her "I never had a life to speak of and I fell in love, I've never been so sure of myself, I've never been so confident"

"I can't love someone and even if I could, who the hell would love me back?"

"You know who you truly like, the person that makes you happy when they speak to you, it's humiliating but we all have our tastes" Candice said "I'm not going to lie, I don't like you, in fact I hate you and your presence makes me sick" she scowled at Bambietta "but even you can be redeemed, once you've found true love, protect it with every ounce of your soul and perhaps, just perhaps you'll finally be at peace"

"The question would wither or not I deserve it"

"You don't" Candice said "you've committed crimes that'd get you killed if it was ever discovered but I'll sweeten the pot a little, a little something to get you full on-board"

"What?"

Candice held up a CD, on it was written 'Lucky Suck'. "Oh" Bambietta said frowning. The animals really made her stomach acid burn along with her cheeks.

"This is the only copy" Candice said "I'll hold onto it for now"

"Whatever" She said crossing her arms "just reveal the CD and ruin me already"

"Now, now" Candice smiled "let's not jump the gun"

"Whatever" Bambietta said

"You're quite the broken record" Candice said. She stood up. "Time to go I think"

"So…just tell me what to do"

"Do you what you think is _right_" Candice said

"Okay"

[End of Chapter 24]

**Now I know what you're thinking. Why such a short chapter? Well…I'm bored…I don't know what to write after this…people call it writers block but I suppose you have to be an actual writer to get writers block. I'll do a little soul searching and see where I'm gonna go with this… I also have a few more Fanfic ideas and might briefly pursue them…. Any opinions on Nel's whole Keyser Soze act, did anyone see it coming? I do know it lost me a favourite so I'm guessing not everyone was as chuffed as I was… and it's totally not because I want to complete pokemone white 2 before I get off my fat ass and buy Pokémon x/y…and a 3ds**


	25. Chapter 25: T-Rex

Soifon snapped awake as Yoruichi howled vague lyrics to the song 'Tarzan's Boy' at the top of her voice. She proceeded to do cheesy eighties dancing. She pointed at Soifon as she danced "Jungle life…" She danced more "I'm far away from nowhere on my own like Tarzan's boy!"

"Please stop!" Soifon said groaning

"Oh oh wah oh wah oh wah oh oh oh wah!" She twirled and grinned as he clapped her hands to the infuriatingly loud music.

"School!" Yoruichi said "you've got to go eventually"

"Whatever" Soifon said sitting up.

It was a few days after Aizen's attempt to get rid of Soifon and everything seemed to have calmed down again. She was still a cripple; soon this cast would have to come off she thought as she scratched underneath it with a fork. The apartment Yoruichi owned was nice but it was only that way due to Yoruichi's tasteful decorating skills, this area was appalling! Yoruichi got an almost constant torrent of racism, most of the people on their floor were very Christian 'Southerners' and had a strong distaste to the 'Former Slave and the China Girl'

One such racist gesture came today in the form of a package posted through the letterbox. Soifon walked over and picked it up. "It's for you… I …uh…think" Soifon said inspecting the package with big black maker pen wrote… *(**I refuse to use racist slurs so the 'N' word is known as 'The /That Word)*** That Word.

"Fuck sake" Yoruichi said taking the package from her "I'm not even African descended"

"I though you said you're family came from Somalia?"

"My mother was Somalian/Hawaiian/ Eskimo combo and my father was Egyptian and Israeli"

"They blend together quite nicely" Soifon said looking up at her lover

"I know" Yoruichi smiled unwrapping the package. She opened the box and stared confused

"It's…fruit?" Soifon said perplexed "and quite a good cut out of you, must've taken ages to cut out that printout" Soifon chuckled picking up the picture that 'Forbes Magazine' used for Yoruichi in their 'Top 50 Richest Women in the World' list.

"Oh there's a message" Yoruichi said "'Southern trees bear Strange Fruit'…"

"What does that…"Soifon stared at Yoruichi who stared at the box with a mixture of horror and rage. "Yoruichi" Soifon said feeling slightly worried "What does it mean?"

Yoruichi crushed the box in her hands, the juice from the fruit dripped on the floor and her face contorted into pure rage. Soifon took a step back; for the first time she was actually scared of her. Yoruichi noticed this and stopped immediately.

"Sorry" She said looking at the box again "go off to school, I'll speak to the neighbours, they've crossed the line"

"I still don't understand!?" Soifon said

"You…" Yoruichi stared sadly at her "you don't wanna know what it means"

"O-okay" Soifon said shouldering her bag. Yoruichi smiled warmly at her and opened the door. Soifon noticed the way she moved…she moved like a killer, she hadn't dropped this. She was going to do something rash and Soifon didn't know what it was. "Off you pop" she said walking out the door with her.

"Uh, Yoruichi, what are you doing?" Soifon said

"Nothing…nothing at all" She said opening their southern neighbours front door. "See you when you get home" she said closing the door behind her. Soifon let a single tear fall down her face as she heard crashing and shouting from inside. She couldn't bear it. Yoruichi had never acted this way before. She turned and walked down the corridor. Just forget about it, Soifon… They deserve it, she thought, but why had that got Yoruichi worked up so badly?

She shook her head and pressed the lift call button. The door opened again and Yoruichi walked out as calmly as she entered. Soifon stared at her bloody knuckles, Yoruichi smiled warmly at her and waved. What the hell!? Something pinged in Soifon's head…maybe it was the elevator but she'd remembered Yoruichi's father once saying he hated racists because they'd once 'road hauled' his wife, Yoruichi's mother. Maybe that was some kind of threat and Yoruichi snapped after what happened to their mother…yeah that was it…nothing to worry about.

She took the elevator to the bottom floor and caught the bus just on time. Toshiro, Momo, Hanataro and Hiyori were all already on it, they got on near Ryuu's Manor as that was where they were staying. "S'up baldy" Hiyori said as Soifon sat next to Hanataro

"Do you know the meaning of…Strange Fruit?"

"As in the…Billie Holiday song?" Toshiro said looking confused

"Dunno?" Soifon said "Yoruichi got given a weird parcel with those words and a picture of herself with some fruit

"What!?" Toshiro choked "that's shady" he said "that's Bambietta class shady". Bambietta scowled but said nothing. She strangely sat on her own and ignored Gisselle and Meninas.

"What does it mean?"

"You don't wanna know"

"Yoruichi said that!" Soifon said huffing

"You just don't" Toshiro laughed jadedly, "It takes someone with a fucked up head to make a threat like that in this day and age"

"Never mind" Soifon crossed her arms

"How's your arm?" Hanataro said

"It's good" Soifon replied "it'd be a lot better if it wasn't broken" She scowled at Bambietta who amazingly didn't return it and only guiltily stared at the floor. Wow…everyone seemed to be acting off today! Maybe it's because the Prom was tonight, Soifon had to admit…she was both nervous and excited for it, in the past five days she'd really learnt to let a bit of her old confidence back into her life. She was equally looking forward to having a few drinks with all her friends, she was strongly considering showing them the Treehouse and the Meadow, it just wasn't right for that place to fall into disrepair as Yoruichi and her friends don't go to it anymore.

"Who are you taking to the Prom Hanataro?" Momo asked

"Uh…" He glanced off to the left "no one, I just think I'll come to watch…i-if that isn't weird"

"Suit yourself" Momo said. Soifon glanced to the left, only Bambietta and Hiyori's best friend Mashiro sat that way. Maybe Hanataro had a crush on Mashiro?

"Take that Rukia chick" Soifon said "she seemed to dig you"

"R-really?" He said frowning "I didn't catch that vibe she seemed to be hitting on Ichigo"

"Whatever" Soifon said "I care little"

"Where are you going for the…uh…honeymoon?" Momo said

"Dunno" Soifon said "Yoruichi wants to get all this Aizen bullshit behind us before we really go ahead with our marriage"

"Fair enough" Momo said

"I can only imagine the pupil's faces when they hear you're married"

"I'm sure everyone will have a ruddy good laugh at my expense" Soifon said glancing at Bambietta who had her eyes closed and was listening to music; she wanted to throw something at her…Bambietta usually did that when Soifon was distracted. "Yo, Bambietta" Said the most popular boy at the school Jayden.

"What?" She replied

"We still going to the prom together?" He asked ignoring a vicious stare from Gisselle

"Why not" She said leaning back on her seat

"Uh…what are you listening to?"

"Bob Sinclair, leave me alone" She said putting her earphones back in

"Who knew she had taste" Toshiro muttered raising his eyebrows in appreciation

"I think you judge too harshly" Hanataro said

"I knew you still had the hots for her" Hiyori said "you're too nice"

"Being nice doesn't get you very far" Hanataro said longingly

"Maybe you can turn her into a semi functioning human being" Soifon chuckled

"I doubt even Hanataro has those skills" Toshiro chuckled

"Nonsense" Soifon laughed "One ride on Hanataro and she'll be a new person" Soifon patted his back and laughed.

"But still" Toshiro's face went serious "have you heard Yamamoto's endgame strategy?"

"No what is it?"

"A fucking Revolution"

"What?" Soifon said staring at him

"He intends to…and this is no word of a lie: do a full Che Guevara and take over the entire of Rukon by military force, using Kukaku's influence to stop military backup coming from the mainland"  
"A coup d'état" Momo said "He intends to dethrone Aizen with his own two hands by bringing full-fledged war to the streets"

"Fuck me" Soifon said "How many of us are there?"

"Maybe fifty at best" Toshiro said "The Kotowari Centre is eleven, You and Yoruichi are thirteen, Yamamoto and the former gangsters makes fifteen, Ryo, Shaozu, Kukaku, Urahara, Ichigo, Grimmjow and his buddies, Kuchiki's, some of Mr Hirako's old buddies from the army are gonna help too and Kukaku ordered in a group called Xcution, that makes about fifty people"

"Apparently Grimmjow already bought himself one of those berets that Che himself wore in the Cuban revolution"

"Is…" Soifon looked at them "are you guys being serious?"

***Change***

Nel smiled as she listened to Soifon's conversation. "Yamamoto you old bastard" She laughed. Ryuu had seen this coming, he'd said it would happen and goddamn it she was excited, there was always a slight giddiness with an oncoming storm, a kind of curiosity to see who'd be the victor, she wanted to sit this one out and see who'd win but unfortunately she'd have to help because Ryuu theorized that Aizen would decimate Yamamoto's power in a single hour, what did he have that made him so formidable?

Candice's soft but strong arms wrapped themselves around her chest and squashed her boobs. "Hey" Nel said resting the back of her head on Candice's shoulder. Their cheeks brushed "What's up?"  
"You got the Oken, right?"  
"You got the Anti-Static wristband I asked for?"

"Here" Candice said holding it up. Nell pulled away from the comforting hug

"Thanks" She took it and put it on. She picked up the Oken. It was basically gold and diamond encrusted key, one of those old style ones. After a few minutes of fiddling with it she realised it unscrewed and inside it was the black film that went inside floppy disks. Putting the Anti-static wristband on she pulled the film out and placed it inside an empty floppy disk. She'd used the Oken to disable Pesquisa, Aizen was spying on everyone, and he was omnipotent just like her whilst he had Pesquisa. She'd be able to destroy Pesquisa with it.

"So" Candice said running her hand through her hair. Nel stared lustfully at Candice, She really didn't want to take her to the grave with her but there was no other way to do it without going against Ryuu's plan and she vowed never to do so after he'd tracked her down and smashed three of her teeth out of her face whilst looking for Aizen and after she'd told him everything she knew she literally grovelled and begged at his feet to give her another chance and this was his chance…die to them or die to me…

***Change***

Aizen smirked as he walked through the Governor's building in Karakura. He'd just got off the phone with Harribel, she happened to live in the apartment block like Yoruichi also on the same floor. With a set of binoculars she could see right into the woman's window. Aizen knew with the Oken Nel would destroy Pesquisa so Harribel's surveillance would be good!

He sighed as he remembered he only had three Espada left, it wasn't too good he'd have to send _them_ out. Once upon a time Aizen recruited criminals, often faking their deaths and making them his subordinates promising massive sums of money or women or kids or whatever they desired for their subordination, he'd obtained Grimmjow and his posse this way along with Starrk and Nnoitra. There were more of course, most operated outside Rukon; he'd have to recall them for the War.

He opened a door and walked in. Four young men sat, two played a PS4 and shouted profanity at each other as they played. One of the ps4 players wore one of those 'Snapbacks' which was tilted to the side, another had a tattoo on his cheek a Chinese Sǐwáng for 'Death' he also played the ps4 and was doing most of the swearing, another sat staring at a wall whilst wearing one of those stupid hats with the beer cans in them, he sucked idly on the straws Aizen often wondered how he never got drunk, he almost constantly drank beer from his beer-hat. The last was the oldest and the leader. He had dark rings around his eyes both cause by slight eyeliner and going three years without a single night of sleep. He smoked a cigarette.

"I've got something for you to do" Aizen said

"Go fuck yourself" Said Motoi, the tattooed one. Aizen swallowed the urge to slice him in half, these men were dangerous, and they may even be able to kill him if they really wanted to.

"Apologies" said Lei, the smoker "continue"

"Yes well I need you to dispose of some unsightly people"

"Oh?" said Bolin, the beer hat one; he turned at stared blankly at Aizen

"Yes" He replied "there is a Coup d'état planned on my behalf"

"I don't care for the French, cheese eating, surrendering, frogs leg eating, arrogant bastards" said the final one Senju.

"Never mind your uneducated brain about it" Lei said "who and where?"

"I have a list of fifty people" Aizen said

"Any specifics in their deaths?" Lei said looking at the list "Shaolin Feng?" he looked back up at Aizen

"Make sure they suffer, all of them"

"Consider it done" Lei smiled

The Feng brothers all laughed at the sound of their weak, sickly, pathetic little sister's name…this was gonna be fun!

[End of Chapter 25]

**Back already…Damn right! Also quick note to…uh Shadowknight1121 (I think) I made one of my characters a tribute to you and now he's gonna be one of the biggest assholes in the story…sorry**


	26. Chapter 26: Storm

"So…there she is" Lei said. All four of the brothers sat in an SUV parked a few metres from the school gates. They watched Soifon speaking to a striking young boy with white hair. "Damn it" He chuckled

"I know" Motoi said "She looks like mum"

"Do you still think she does that mousey thing when she sneezes?" Lei laughed

"No doubt" Bolin droned dropping the straw from his mouth briefly.

"C'mon" Lei said "let's get some more pictures of the other targets"

"Why don't we take her out now?" Motoi said

"You'd do it?" Lei said looking at him "The single rule dad bored into us with ferocity was to NEVER kill our family and you'd just…do it?"

"Aizen told us to" Motoi said "our hands are tied here"

"I know" Lei said "might as well let her go to the prom before we kill her"

"Who's next?"

"Her" Lei said pointing at a depressed looking raven haired beauty; she was the type of girl that won those pageants and contests with a beaming smile and a skin-tight spangled leotard.

"Who's she?"

"Bambietta Basterbine" Lei said taking a draw of sweet nicotine "she's a wee psycho, a looney, a basket case, a mouth breather"

"Just get jugger-noob to kill her" Senju said pointing at Bolin with his thumb. Bolin stared blankly at him.

"Sometimes I wonder if he's actually alive" Lei muttered "anyway, caution advised…in fact all of these people on this list are…highly trained and very dangerous, powerful, dominant, treacherous"

"Oh…" Motoi groaned as he took pictures of the Basterbine Princess "that's right you little skank, ohhhh do a twirl, now tell me you're a dirty whore"

"Shut it" Lei said smacking the back of his head. "Time to go, leave, exit, flee" He started the car and drove off. Taking one last glance at their estranged sister he chuckled. Damn she really was beautiful just like their mother.

***Change***

"Oi, bitch!" Apache roared "A 360 isn't a trickshot!"

"Come off it" Mila Rose shouted back "at least it's nice and simple none of your 1080 lefty-loosey mid-air wrist-twist bullshit!"

"Complexity is skill, whore bag!"

Harribel groaned as she spied on Yoruichi with her binoculars. The woman danced idly around her apartment wearing pink pyjama shorts and a tank top. What a woman! Yoruichi Shihouin, she really was a girl you could bring home to mom. She seemed like a nice woman too; too bad she got herself involved in Aizen-Sama's affairs.

"Look at you two arguing we all know Feeding is the best quickscoping skill" Sun-Sun said covering her mouth with her hand.

"Stay out of it bitch!"

"Will you all quieten down, please" Harribel said "and Quickscoping is overpowered and cheap"

"Racist" Apache said crossing her arms after dropping the Xbox controller

"I know" Mila Rose said "just 'cause you don't know how to play 'claw'"

"I-I do know how to play claw!" Harribel snapped, she felt her cheeks redden slightly but she continued to spy on Yoruichi who now pulled her tank top off. Harribel let out a groan as she saw the full frontal view of the woman's perfect breasts. "What?" Apache said picking up her binoculars; they all had their own set after a vicious fist fight ensued over the only pair.

"Oh my fucking god!" Apache said grinning "What a set of titties she's got, they've gotta be implants"

"Look at the natural 'sag' of them, they're natural" Sun-sun said beside her

"Sag?" Apache said "are you high?"

"They ain't gonna sag for another twenty years" Mila Rose said "still, I'd pay a shit ton of money to motorboat those puppies""  
"I thought you had a boyfriend?" Harribel said

"Nah…he ran off somewhere after I beat him up for being possessive"

"That Ggio dude?"

"That's him"

"Oh" Apache said as the woman took a long swig of coffee she slipped into a normal t-shirt and stood looking out of the window…come to think of it…was she looking at them? "Can she see us?"

"No I've had these windows tinted" Harribel said. Feeling slightly unnerved at the smirk on Yoruichi's perfect face and her bright golden eyes facing her direction, they weren't unfocused like someone who was staring at nothing. She knew what she was looking at. She smiled and winked at her. Harribel's heart skipped a beat.

"Shit!" Mila Rose said irrationally ducking "She can fucking see us!"

"She can't its impossible!"

***Change***

Candice picked up the phone and dialled… ten seconds later Ryo Shihouin's silky voice said "Hello?"

"S'up tall, dark and handsome" Candice said

"Ah" Ryo said "The Mastermind graces us with their rudeness, which one are you Candice or Nel?"

"Candice" She replied "Nel's…incapacitated" She said looking down at the woman playing with mega blocks.

"Such a shame" He said "what can I do for you?"

"Did you know…the Feng brothers are still alive?" Candice said. It had taken Nel and Candice by surprise when Aizen spoke to them and the strategist that she was; Nel quickly planned something out.

"I was not aware of this" Ryo said "though I held a slight suspicion around their 'deaths'"

"Yes, well they work for Aizen and currently have their sights on your 'Revolutionary Army'" Candice said

"Pesquisa is starting to annoy me" Ryo muttered

"You just may be in luck, dickbag, 'cuz Nel's going to destroy Pesquisa and make the island go dark"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I may be no friend of yours but I sure as shit don't like Aizen and you know what they say about enemies of enemies"

"Nice to have you on board" Ryo said sarcastically

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves" Candice said scowling "Anyhoo, you'd better chaperone the Prom… I hear Aizen intends to crash it" this was another call by Nel.

"I see" Ryo said "I have no interest in what Aizen is doing right now; I have something else to take care of"

"Yes…" Candice said "The Particle Accelerator, how trivial"

"Do you know something I don't?"

"Y'know what bubbé, I probably know a lot you don't"

"Seemly" Ryo replied "…put that down!"

"Oh dear is something wrong?" She said inspecting her nails

"No" He said "Is there anything else or do you just want to have phone sex or something"

"Hmm" Candice said "I'm wearing some jeans, they're really right, I think if I bend over the wrong way I'll just burst right out of them" She said seductively

"Goodbye" He said before hanging up. Candice laughed and tossed the phone onto the couch.

"Bed time!" She said clapping her hands at Nel. It was only three PM but they'd have to be up late so it was better to get Nel to sleep so she could get rid of kid mode.

Nel compiled happily and got into her pyjamas. Candice only stripped into her underwear and jumped into the comfy bed beside her lover. "Candithe?"

"S'happnin?"

"Thing me a thong"

"A song?"

"Yep, like a lully-bye"

"I don't know any lullabies" Candice said

"Make thomthing up!"

"I'll sing…" Candice thought for a second about a song, it'd been stuck in her head for a while. "Okay then"

"Yay!"

*****Ho Hey- Lumineers*****

"…I've been tryin to do it right, I've been livin' a lonely lie, I've been sleepin' here instead, I've been sleepin in ma bed…sleepin in ma bed" Candice moved her feet in the beat "so show me family! All the blood that I will bleed, I don't know where I belong, I don't know where I went wrong…but I can write a song 1, 2, 3" He out her hand into Nel's "I belong with you, you belong with me you're my sweetheart! I belong with you; you belong with me you're my sweet…" Candice smiled as she sang, she was going to treasure all these moments with Nel…after all, this time Next week they won't be alive.

***Change***

"So" Yoruichi said grinning at Soifon as she picked her up from school. "Where do you want to go to get a dress?"

"For prom?"

"Yeah!"

"There are dresses in our flat" Soifon said "I'll wear one of them"

"No!" Yoruichi almost squealed "you've got to buy a new dress for prom; I've got a nice black backless number to wear already"

"Whatever just don't go dressing me like a call girl" Soifon said "have Harribel and her trio been spying on you still?"  
"Oh yeah" Yoruichi chuckled "gave them quite the eyeful today"

"You didn't get naked again?"

"What do you mean again…I only showed them my boobs"

"You're unbelievable" Soifon said "I'd be jealous as shit right now if I didn't know for a fact that you're more faithful than old yeller"

"A few of my older girlfriends were very jealous women" Yoruichi said  
"That's nice" Soifon said as Yoruichi drove. They passed Bambietta who solemnly kicked a can in front of her.

"The face on it" Yoruichi said laughing "her daddy probably told her she can't make the red juice come out of the kitties anymore"

"She never said a single word to me today; I'm slightly freaked out" Soifon said "like the calm that comes before a storm"

"That being said" Yoruichi said "we'll have to get rid of her at some point, I know you don't like killing people but she's a major spanner whilst she is on the same level as Espada and Ichigo and that was whilst she was injured!"

"I dread to think what she'll be like with full manoeuvrability"

"Ichigo said she fights with dynamite sticks with different coloured buttons"

"I know" Soifon said "I was there"

"Did you find out what the buttons meant?"

"I'm guessing their timed, the blue buttons being ten seconds, red buttons being five yadda, yadda"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said "you're a good little detective"

They drove into the large mall located just outside the city. It was normally the most expensive place to shop but Yoruichi had a Centurion American Express card that begged to differ. Soifon was terrified of the card; it supposedly had no limit and was the most valuable item she'd ever held in her hand. Besides the Hogyoku of course. "Let's get some food first" Yoruichi said as they parked, "I'm starving"

"I was wondering" Soifon said

"What?" Yoruichi looked at her

"You've not done any work in like…a week, would there be people wanting to hire you?"

"Probably" Yoruichi said "but I'm not the only PI in town and I sure as shit ain't the only PI in the world, I'm sure if it's really necessary the person can go elsewhere"

"I suppose" Soifon said "the amount you spend you know you're gonna be destitute by the time you're fifty?"

"No" Yoruichi said "I don't value money like other people do"

"I know" Soifon said getting out of the cat with Yoruichi

"It means I don't… treasure it as much, I'm more willing to…" she moved her hands as she tried to think of the right word "venture"

"Whatever" Soifon said smiling.

Two hours later Soifon inspected herself in the mirror. She wore a dress simply labelled 'Mithril'. It was nice…a kind of silver/grey, apparently it suited her hair and eyes, the dark-dark blue of her hair blended with it nicely. Yoruichi smiled as she watched her. "It's nice" She said "do you want this one" she looked at the label and raised her eyebrows slightly.

"Yeah" Soifon said "if it isn't too expensive"

"Nah" Yoruichi said "We'll take it"

Soifon inspected herself again. It was a relatively simple strapless number; it went down to her shins. There was nothing particularly fancy about it besides the bottom of the skirt section was lined with nice blue, white, green and red jewels. She quickly got changed back into her skirt, black and red striped thigh socks and tank top and the assistant took the dress over to the counter and Yoruichi padded over, card in hand. Soifon briefly wondered how much I cost… it couldn't have been more than two hundred bucks.

"That'll be $5200, please" The woman said to Yoruichi. Soifon's jaw nearly hit the floor.

"H-How much?" She said

"Don't worry" Yoruichi said, her eyes sparkling like they usually did when she fell into the depths of her spending addiction. She grinned as she handed the card over to the cashier. "You seriously thought those jewels were glass didn't you?"

"Yeah what are they?"

"Diamonds, Sapphires, Rubies and Emeralds"

"Christ" Soifon said "at least I'll be in the most expensive dress"

"Um" Yoruichi shifted her weight awkwardly "the news said Bambietta is sporting a $12,000 one"

"Typical"

"And I… uh… may have bought a $25,000 one" Yoruichi said. Soifon shook her head and turned her back. She had to admit…the high life was awesome! But she was still from working class background and such spending of money still unnerved her, after all Yoruichi had spent an entire annual salary of some people for a dress she'd only wear once, but that being said she'd earned the money she spent so it wasn't so bad…

Once Yoruichi had decided she'd spent enough money for the hour she and Soifon walked to the car whilst drinking milkshakes. "I must be awkward for Sojun" Soifon found herself saying

"How so?"

"Well since that Zommari guy got away and Haschwald is still in power the three most powerful cops in the district are batting for different teams"

"Sojun still has the most power" Yoruichi said "even Aizen can't dethrone him without the blessing of the other Hawaiian islands"

"He seems to have methods though" Soifon said. Soifon looked down at her hands. She was shivering with excitement, she literally couldn't wait. She didn't know why… all it was; was a gathering of her school peers to dance a little and wear fancy clothes.

"Are you excited?" Yoruichi said opening the car door

"I am" Soifon said "Not just for the Prom but the war too, I mean…this has never happened before in the history of the world"

"I know" Yoruichi said "We're gonna go down in history books for this one…hopefully not for the wrong reasons". Soifon stared at Yoruichi curiously "what?" Yoruichi said

"I…uh" Soifon chuckled as she sat in the passenger seat "I never even considered we'd lose this fight"

"Well that's optimistic" Yoruichi laughed "I might cut my hair again" She said inspecting herself in the rear-view mirror.

"I like it long" Soifon said "plus in 'Modern Lesbian' relationships there has to be one short haired one and one long haired one"  
"I think you have to gain a few hundred pounds and don one of those lumberjack shirts, you know the chequered ones before being fully modern"

"I thought it was gonna be one of those business type ones" Soifon said raising an eyebrow "y'know where you go to business meetings and say 'Hi I'm Yoruichi Shihouin CEO of Shihouin Tampon and Chloroform Inc. and I am a lesbian and have no need for men, in fact, if I had my way all men would be impaled and prostrated by me and me alone"

"Okay" Yoruichi said "I think that's enough stereotyping for today, would you like some tea? Maybe a crumpet?"

"How about a burger and an extra-large coke?" Soifon said "we can go on our mobility scooters because we're too fat to physically walk anymore"

"Why don't you make some pompous remarks about not getting sarcasm and lament over the fact you could keep the 'MURCA! Down, Revolution!"

"Yeah you barely won that revolution off your own back you got help!"

"We still beat Britain"

"So?" Soifon said "The British Empire was spread thin and you got help from Spanish, French and Dutch! How many countries do you know that could win a war against FOUR superpowers?!"

"D-Don't split hairs a loss is a loss alright"

"Just like this argument"

"No!" Yoruichi said tuning up her nose "I refuse to yield to a…limey"

"A Limey?" Soifon said raising an eyebrow again

"Typical American" Soifon said crossing her arms "can't accept when you've been beaten and resort to ignorant hard-headedness"

"Shut up!" Yoruichi playfully slapping Soifon. Soifon did her best to look affronted and then slapped her shoulder. "How dare you!" Yoruichi giggle before they erupted into a playful slap fight. "Ah get off!" Yoruichi laughed as Soifon got her into a headlock. She struggled and prodded pressure points on Soifon's body "I have to warn you" Yoruichi said when Soifon didn't yield "I have a secret technique to use against you"

"Oh?" Soifon said "you know nothing of techniques, by now! I have Surpassed you!"

"Feast your eyes!" Yoruichi before ramming two fingers up her skirt and into her vagina. Soifon let out a moan and went weak allowing Yoruichi to break the lock. She turned Soifon around and bent her over "I hope your body is ready"

"C-come on" Soifon said feeling her cheeks redden "You better not be about to do what I think you're about to doo-Ah!" She wailed…

***Change***

Lei watched Tier Harribel. She was doing a deal with some corrupt cops. He and the other brothers were providing backup in case things went sour. It was all Tier's idea, paying off cops and using them, to be honest it seemed like too big of a risk to take this close to conflict. "What, you thinking?" Bolin said

"I'm thinkin' it's a trap, a gambit, a ruse, a trick" Lei said taking another puff of his cigarette.

"Who'd do such a thing?"

"The enemy, the adversary, the opponent, the foes"

"Anyway" Motoi said "get a load of the white chick, neat eyes she's got"  
"Hetrochromia" Lei said "…I do not know any synonyms"

"Don't beat yourself up, bro" Senju said "we all fuck up sometime"

"Speaking of fucking up" Lei said pulling out his L96A3 Sniper rifle. The meeting became a quick one sided battle that ended with Apache, Mila Rose and Sun-Sun unconscious whilst the striking White haired kid, Kenpachi Zaraki, Grimmjow and a tempered blonde girl with pigtails advancing on Harribel. Lei took aim. His sight focused on the back of the White haired kids head; he was obviously the leader of this cell. Harribel backed off, she hadn't had time to draw a weapon and now she was completely defenceless.

His finger rested on the trigger and he took a breath and got ready to squeeze. His phone rang… "I'm kind of busy!" Lei snapped not looking who it was

"I apologise" Aizen said

"Oh…it's you" He said

"Just leave Harribel" Aizen said "It was her idea to make this deal and she shall suffer the consequences"

"Cruel" Lei said "and you wonder why all you're Espada are either dead, about to die or defected, absconded, fled"

"Like I said" Aizen persisted "just leave her, I can't afford to lose you guys too"

"What makes you think we'll die if we attack these onions?"

"I just know you will"  
"What-evs" Lei said shrugging "too bad…she was kind of hot, attractive, stu…hello?" He looked at his bothers "he hung up on me!"

"Shit" Motoi said "what about Boris?"

"She's to suffer the fate of the Kotowari's" Lei said "they've moved and they'll probably bury Tier along with her buddies…Tier: the Tit is praying and if she isn't…she fucking should be"

[End of Chapter twenty-six]

**For my American brethren the Britain v America argument was sarcastic as both Soifon are first generation American and British Soifon being Chinese and Yoruichi being middle-eastern and have little to no loyalty to their countries…** **Snatch reference anyone? **

** The Prom and the war will be in the next chapter. I intend to have this story finished by chapter 30 just to say… so the next four chapters might be goddamn long, maybe even putting this story above the 200k mark. You can use your imagination on what Yoruichi did to Soifon in the car.**


	27. Chapter 27: Hydra

Toshiro crossed his arms as Harribel backed away from Grimmjow and Kenpachi. "At least put up a fight" Kenpachi said. She didn't look particularly scared but she was probably trained against countless methods of torture, both physical and psychological.

"Any last words?" Grimmjow said

"Grimmjow, pidar" She spat

"Now you yourself know that isn't true" Grimmjow smirked "but past nights rolling in the hay aside, time to die"

"I'm not scared of you" She said, she glance at something behind them and her face contorted into a mixture of fury and fear. "Cowards!" She roared. Toshiro turned to see what she was shouting at. Four men stood on top of a building across the street. Toshiro couldn't see their faces, the sun was to their back and just made them look like four rather badass looking shadows. The closest one had a sniper rifle resting on his shoulder.

They all turned and walked away. Toshiro's brain quickly built a picture. Obviously Harribel didn't fully fall into Sojun's trap and got some backup, these men however may have been told to abandon her. Poor bitch… "You're a contractor, right?" Toshiro said

"I don't seen what it's got to do with you" She said

"Leave"

"What?"

"Leave this island and never come back, if you do...I'll kill you" Toshiro said

"I hope you've got something awesome planned kid" Grimmjow said "'cause this crazy Russian will bite off your head"  
"Do we have a deal?"

"I don't trust you" Harribel said "you want something else"

"How cynical" Toshiro smirked "although if you do feel loose with words you can go ahead and tell me who those guys were, anything Aizen has planned and the location of the second Espada"

"If I do…will you let the Tres Bestais go as well"

"Those?" Toshiro asked pointing as the unconscious women

"No" He said "I'll release two of them for you to take and leave, the last stays with us 'till we've killed Aizen then she's free"

"Why?" Kenpachi said

"So she doesn't use her freedom to get back into the game as an enemy, retard!" Hiyori snapped

"Whatever" Kenpachi said "she isn't putting up a fight so I don't care" he turned and walked away.

"No" Harribel said "I won't split them up, free them and take me prisoner"

"That's…yeah, okay, whatever" Toshiro said

"In terms of the deal those men…they are the Feng brothers"  
"Feng?" Toshiro said

"As in _that_ Feng"

"I don't think Soifon's gonna be happy" Hiyori said

"Why do they work for Aizen?"

"They've been working for him since a few days before they faked their deaths, they robbed the bank, Aizen got his corrupt cops to shoot them with special paint ball rounds and they faked their deaths"

"Very cleaver"

"Any other people who've had their deaths faked?"

"Some proper bezumtsy"

"What's that?" Hiyori said

"Russian for madmen" Toshiro muttered

"Serial killers, mercenaries, general crime gods did you know he has Cirucci Sanderwicci"  
"The Praying Mantis?" Toshiro said

"That's her"

"Why do they call her The Praying Mantis?" Hiyori asked. Grimmjow shivered and Toshiro chuckled.

"It doesn't matter" Toshiro said "what about Aizen's plans?"

"I don't know" Harribel said "I was paid to shoot first and ask questions later, no information required"

"I see" Toshiro said

"As for Barragan" Harribel "he's unstoppable"

"Let us be the judge of that" Toshiro said

"Be it as it may" Harribel said scowling "I'm putting my life in your hands and I want to be alive, so if you too want to be alive you'd listen to what I'm saying, Barragan is unstoppable, to this day I don't know why he's not number one Espada"

"I know about the gravity thing" Grimmjow said "we just want to know where he's chilling"

"Gravity thing?"

"Barragan has a device made by Aizen…I don't know how it works but it does something to gravity…did you know in the centre of a black hole time stops?"

"Yeah because…gravity…affects time" Toshiro groaned "don't tell me he can slow down time!"

"Yes" she replied

"Alright" Toshiro said pacing "no big deal…Urahara will have something that can counteract it…damn it!"

"How are we gonna do this?" Grimmjow said "who's gonna look after her?"

"Give her to Ryo Shihouin" Hiyori said

"Is that a joke?" Toshiro said "we can't allow any Shihouin's to know we've made this deal"

"Why?" Hiyori said

"She was the one that killed their father" He said

"Kukaku then?"

"Nope"

"Who!"

"Hi!" Ukitake smiled walking down the alley way. "It looks like you need me"  
"We do" He said "do you have somewhere to keep her"

"Just handcuff her to a radiator and it'll be fine" Grimmjow chuckled "it was her worst skill"

"I just never practiced" Harribel said indignantly

"Now…" Toshiro struck Harribel in the face with the butt of the Shotgun he carried. She fell back and lay on the ground unconscious.

"That was uncharacteristically mean" Ukitake said

"I thought it'd be easier if I knocked her out" Toshiro shrugged. He glanced back at the rooftop the 'Feng' brothers had stood on. If Soifon and Shaozu were any form of template…these guys were going to be a serious problem.

**Change***

Soifon smiled as Yoruichi walked out of the bedroom wearing her elegant black dress that went all the way down to her ankles. The finest quality silk was so light it almost seemed to writhe like she was merely clad in a shadow.

"It's nice" Soifon said

"Nice!" Yoruichi said with a vein pulsing on her forehead

"Uh… I mean it's stunning" Soifon felt her cheeks redden. Yoruichi laughed and picked up her clutch bag. Her hair was down and simply styled, Yoruichi was a woman that didn't need complex gimmicks and makeup to be classed as stunning. Soifon felt slightly upset, Yoruichi was so far out of her league it was unbelievable, Soifon shouldn't even be worthy to kiss her shoes but here Yoruichi was holding out her hand and grinning. Soifon took her hand and allowed herself you be pulled into a soft kiss.

"Your little heart's going a mile a minute" She said after pulling back from the kiss. Soifon wanted more but resigned herself to a cheeky pinch of Yoruichi's behind. "You're quite the little pervert, always groping and touching me"

"C'mon" Soifon said hiding her reddening cheeks. It had always been something she couldn't really help; she'd just on impulse grope her. Yoruichi didn't seem to mind, she actually seemed to like it. "We'll be late"

"Let's go then" Yoruichi smiled

"I can't wait" Soifon said "I'm both dreading and excited for this"

"Be brave" Yoruichi said holding Soifon's hand "if you ever get down just remember…I am literally a goddess in human form and I chose to go to the prom with you and you alone"

"Sometimes I think you'd rather go to the prom with yourself"

"I know" Yoruichi laughed "if I ever had a chance to clone myself I would and I'd have the hottest sex ever with her"

"That's gross" Soifon said

"Then I'd clone you and have a three-some" Yoruichi laughed "Being in bed with two Soifon's is basically my wet dreams come true"

"Okay" Soifon said trying to end this perverted conversation "frankly you complain about a lot of people being perverted and I think you're the most perverted person here?"

"How so?"

"Err… the nakedness, the innuendos, the seduction techniques on Ichigo and the other boys"

"Nonsense" Yoruichi laughed opening the door "that's just a beautiful woman having a little flirt"

"Not to mention all the vanity" Soifon said closing the door and locking it. She was able to walk without a crutch now but she still had the cast. The only thing that ruined this perfect evening.

They took the elevator down and after walking out the building they got into Yoruichi's car. The beautiful Aston Martin was parked between a rust covered hatchback that had long lost any semblance of a brand and a SUV that Soifon was convinced she'd seen parked outside the school a few times. Somebody sat in it but she couldn't see due to the heavily tinted windows. Smoke from a cigarette drifted out of the window that was opened just a tiny amount.

Soifon shivered, that was the brand that her brother used to smoke, and every time she smelt it, it brought back bad memories. "Smoking's bad for your health!" Yoruichi shouted

"I don't think he cares" Soifon said when the man in the car never even moved.

"Whatever" Yoruichi said opening the car door and sliding in. Soifon followed. "I sure hope that guy isn't planning on driving; with those windows tinted that bad he won't be able to see where he's going when it gets dark"

"C'mon" Soifon said "it's quarter to seven"

"On it" Yoruichi said turning the key in the ignition. The car roared to life and she pushed her foot down and with a slight skid the car lurched forward and accelerated out of the car park.

The window of the SUV rolled down further and the butt of the cigarette was flicked out and then it too roared to life and followed…

***Change***

"C'mon, Kukaku" Ichigo said "I've got the prom in like…half an hour what is so important that you have to show me this now!"

"Shut up" She snapped bending down and moving a rug. Ichigo stared, perplexed, at a trap door.

"What's down there?"

"Come-on and see" She said opening it. Ichigo looked down the dust covered wooden steps and sighed. He walked down, Kukaku close behind. She pulled a string coming down from the ceiling and the pitch black room was illuminated. Ichigo's jaw dropped. "Whoa!"

"I know" She said "it took me ages to get all this stuff"

Ichigo took a step forward, the room was full of guns, every type of assault rifle, sniper, handgun, submachine gun and even the occasional rocket launcher lined the walls and sat on benches. "This is for the War?"

"Yeah" Kukaku said "I never thought I'd be the sole supplier of arms for an uprising"  
"You could easily invade Rukon with all this shit"

"You do realise…" Kukaku stared at him "we…The Kotowari Centre will be declaring war on the entire USA?"

"When you say it like that it sounds like a suicide mission"

"If Aizen manages to get help we'll be crushed by the US Army" Kukaku said "why I have this" she pointed at a rocket, it was small enough to be put into a rocket launcher.

"What is it?"

"A heavily compressed nuclear warhead, designed for an effect of a thermonuclear explosion called an EMP; it'll disable all communication to the outside world for a few hours"

"Smart" Ichigo said "what's that" he said pointing at something covered by a canvas sheet

"What I wanted to show you" She said walking over to it. She whipped the canvas off and Ichigo's mouth dropped open again.

"Th-That's a…"

"I know" Kukaku grinned

"Where did you get it?"

"I have methods"

"Alright" Ichigo said "why are you showing it to me"

"It's our last chance at beating Aizen; if he gains the Hogyoku he'll be immortal"

"This would kill an immortal man?"  
"Yes" Kukaku smiled "This…is Mugetsu"

***Change***

Yoruichi struggled to find a parking spot. The school sure liked to throw a fancy one! Mind you… kids of several millionaires attended this school so they either had to go large or go home. Soifon timidly exited the car. For the first and most certainly not the last Soifon was going down in the history books tonight; this time as the first ever girl to take another girl to Seireitei High's Prom. It was a brave thing to do and Yoruichi really had to make her embrace her pride but now Soifon was turning into a real woman. The Prom…like most others was held in the large gym hall. Yoruichi remembered her prom…she got high on cocaine and punched Byakuya Kuchiki into a punch bowl, she remembered how funny that had seemed back then. This prom was as much for her as it was for Soifon, she'd ruined her one and now she could do it again with a date she loved and not a single granule of Satan Dust in sight!

They walked into the gym. Soifon was nervous, she was tense and her eyes watched everyone, looking to see if anyone was staring. A few people did stare but they stared at Yoruichi and not Soifon. She liked attention, most girls born into super rich families do tend to enjoy being at the centre of attention but the attention of one right person was better than attention from a million wrong people which is what bitches like Paris Hilton didn't understand.

"Want a drink?" Yoruichi said to her lover

"I would like that" Soifon said. Yoruichi grinned at her and walked over to the punch bowl filling two cups she turned and nearly walked into Ryo. "What are you doing here?" She said

"I thought I'd crash the party" Ryo said

"Who'd you take?" Yoruichi said "not that Meninas?"

"No" Ryo scowled "she didn't want me anymore…"  
"Who?"

He scratched the back of his head. "Uh…he glanced at Matsumoto""

"Wha…" Yoruichi said

"Hey! She said its only business" He said "For some reason no one had noticed the both of us aren't actually pupils"

"Whatever" Yoruichi said

"You look beautiful" He said "unlike the last prom"

"Don't remind me" Yoruichi scowled. "D'aww" She said looking at Toshiro and Momo dancing "they called it puppy love, eh?"

"I wish I had been in love with a girl like that" He said.

"I am and if you don't mind I'm going back to her" Yoruichi smiled and walked past him

"Have you noticed _them _yet?" Ryo said

"Yes" Yoruichi said "I've been catching glimpses of them all week"

"What'll we do?"

"Kill them" Yoruichi said "I don't want Soifon to know they were even alive"

"I see" Ryo said "Shaozu is pissed, he'll kill them all himself if he gets even a ghost of a chance" he sighed "Also…I wouldn't trust Toshiro anymore"

"Why?"

"He's made a deal" Ryo said "with Harribel"

"You've been using Pesquisa?"

"Yes" Ryo said "after you got it from Nel we've been having fun using it, but it's ruining the feel of this conflict, there's no iron curtain so to speak, secrets win wars and with Pesquisa there's no such thing as a secret"

"Then why haven't I been able to watch the Feng brothers with Pesquisa?" Yoruichi said "I know how to use it, I was watching Harribel earlier"

"I think there is something that can disrupt it" Ryo said "It'd make sense that Aizen would put a loophole in Pesquisa in case enemies happened to get their hands on it"

"If that's the case we'll have to disregard any information we've gained by spying on him as… if he has some kind of disruptor why doesn't he have it activated to hide his plans"

"Because he wants us to hear what he's saying"

"We're being tricked?" Yoruichi said

"Yes and no" Ryo said "we're still holding a shit ton of cards but Aizen has most of the deck and Juha…I don't even know what he's doing"

"An invasion" Bambietta said. Yoruichi and Ryo both turned to face her.

"Huh?" Ryo said

"He intends to sweep through the entire island and kill every person who's posing a threat to the future of the Stern Ritter" She said

"Why is she telling us this?" Yoruichi said to Ryo.

"Fuck should I know!?" He said

"You asked a question and I answered it" She said before tuning and hobbling away.

"She's quite cute in that dress" Ryo said

"I know" Yoruichi said shaking her head "too bad she's evil"

"Don't tell me you did see that look in her eyes, the pain" He smiled at Yoruichi "repentance"

"I don't forgive people like her, if she wants to help me I'll accept it but that just means I won't kill her…brutally"

"I remember the day you came back home and begged us to accept you back as a Shihouin" Ryo grinned "you looked almost exactly like she did"

Yoruichi said nothing and walked away. She approached Soifon and handed her, her drink. "So what was Ryo doing here?"

"Crashing" she said to Soifon.

"What about Bambietta?"

"Dunno" Yoruichi said "she seems to think she can join team awesome"  
"How so?"

"She gave us a bit of info on the Stern Ritter" Yoruichi said

"She was pretty pissed when Gisselle abandoned her to escape Rambo Toshiro"

***Switch Perspective to Soifon***

"Do you want to dance?" Yoruichi said as Noah and the Whale blared. "We can have some fun, fun, fun" She said shaking her hips.

"Nah, I'll dance when it gets slow" Soifon chuckled "I'm not free styling, fuck that"

"Just as long as you give me a dance I don't care" Yoruichi said "although I'm still gonna dance with people"  
"Like who?" Soifon said looking around

"There's Hanataro looking sad" Yoruichi said. She pointed with her elbow as she drank. Soifon looked at Hanataro who stared at his red solo cup of punch. He didn't look too bad, a simple black suit, black shirt and silver tie was quite smart.

Yoruichi grinned and walked over to Hanataro. The music slowed and Yoruichi basically forced him into an awkward waltz position. They danced completely out of sync with the music…and each other. Yoruichi didn't seem to care, she grinned and laughed as she bumped into an awkward looking Byakuya who danced with and even more awkward looking Rukia.

Soifon sighed and sat on a seat. So much was going on! Toshiro looked lovingly into Momo's eyes. He also wore one of the coolest looking outfits. It was a black kimono with a snowflake pattern on it. It'd look silly if it was on anyone else but Toshiro suited it well. Momo wore a red dress that showed off her pale arms and shoulders and went down do her shins. Ichigo danced with Orihime they seemed be quite happy.

She watched Bambietta hobble into the bathroom. Jayden followed her suspiciously, he was too far to have been invited but too close to be coincidentally there. Soifon shook her head and took another swig of punch…she didn't like this punch, it was disgusting but the party was hardly a BYOB event.

Yoruichi walked over smiling. "Done already?" Soifon said

"He wimped out I think" Yoruichi said shrugging "he said he needed to go to the bathroom"

***Change Perspective to Bambietta and about…twenty-three seconds ago"

Bambietta needed to pee… She'd gone to this prom with Jayden and abandoned him straight away, she'd had enough of him… he was too handsy. He could be away humping Gisselle's leg again for all she cared. It was typical he'd try and get with Bambietta. After Candice 'died' Bambietta became the number one lay of the school.

She walked into the bathroom and did her business and stood washing her hands. The door opened and Jayden walked. "Girls bathroom, dude" Bambietta said only glancing at him. If she had actually properly looked at him she would've noticed him aiming a punch for her.

The blow struck the side of her head sending her crashing into the wall. She tried to recover but he was damn strong, her vision already swam. Then he was grabbing her and throwing her into a cubicle. Slamming the door behind him. He said "you think you can cock block me!"

"You better kill me" Bambietta groaned as he bent her over the toilet "if you don't…"

"Shut up" He said ripping her underwear off. Bambietta almost laughed, what a fitting way for her prom to go.

There was a loud crash and wood splinters from the cubicle door rained all around her. "Yamada, fuck off" She heard Jayden say "hey get off me!" he was hauled of her. Bambietta turned to see Hanataro throw Jayden into a mirror. How could someone so weak and frail looking throw a guy a year older than him and twice his size like that? Hanataro straddled him and started to punch him, between punches he said

"You. Don't. Treat. Women. Like. That"

After the fifteenth punch Hanataro stopped and stood up. "I-I uh…don't know what came over me" He said looking at his hands. Bambietta pulled herself up and looked down at a very beaten up Jayden

"I'm the captain…" He groaned "of the football team… I won't stand for this…" he finally went into unconsciousness

"Congratulations" Bambietta smiled at Hanataro you just beat up the hardest boy in school.

"O-Okay" Hanataro said "I'm gonna die"

"C'mon, let's stuff him in the cubicle before someone comes in"

"Good idea" Hanataro said "I'll get his legs"

"Not worth it" She grabbed his shirt and picked him up with one hand and threw him into the cubicle and closed the door. "Climb over and lock the door"

"You're strong" Hanataro said

"I have been trained by some of the most elite sensei's in the world" Bambietta shrugged "so are you might I add"  
"Why do you think I'm in a youth rehabilitation centre?" Hanataro said "I-I sometimes get a bit angry and hit people again…and again…and again"

"Climb" Bambietta said

"Alright" He said. He nimbly climbed over the cubicle using the toilet in the one next to it. He closed the door and locked it and climbed back over. She stared at him…damn he was so cute! Too good for her…

"Um" Hanataro said awkwardly "D-Do you want to, uh dance?"

"I'd like to but…I don't wanna do it in front of other people"

"I see" He said looking sad. She chuckled and shook her head.

"C'mon" She said grabbing his hand. She briskly hobbled toward a special place she knew, she and Candice used to go there to smoke and talk about their secret obsession with My little Pony. She quickly found the hatch and opened it. Inside there was a room with a ladder. Up the ladder was a kind of attic room that basically housed the air conditioning unit and boilers for the showers. The speakers for the music were directly below it. "Uh" Hanataro said climbing beneath her

"What?"

"You never put your underwear back on"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" She whispered to herself as her cheeks went scarlet. She picked up her pace and got to the top. She didn't know why that made her embarrassed she'd been seen naked by plenty of dudes at school and she didn't even feel remotely conservative. The music got slow again, this time it was a proper romantic dance song. The Unchained Melody it was called.

_Oh, my love, my darling I've hungered _

_For your touch…_

She pulled him close to her. Unlike his pathetic display of dancing with Yoruichi he moved well with her. She rested her forehead on his shoulder. The way he smelt, the feel of his fingers on her waist.

_And time goes by_

_So slowly_

She found herself crying slightly as she moved, she'd never been so happy. If she died right now she'd embrace hell with open arms, Hanataro couldn't have given her a better gift.

Why had she thought doing all those degrading things would make her happy? Candice was right, love was the answer and she was in love, she'd scream it from the rooftops if he wanted her to. She didn't care if her father would disapprove, she didn't care if the Stern Ritter had told her she was to marry Jayden and that'd be the end of it.

She felt him tremble slightly, he was so nervous, was this the closest he'd ever been to a girl? She pulled back a little and looked into his pale blue eyes. He seemed slightly confused. "Is something wrong?" He asked

"No" Bambietta replied. She leaned in and kissed him. His eyes widened and for a split second before he really realised what she was doing he went to pull back. She'd never kissed someone like him, it was nice, all guys who'd kissed her previously were only trying to get the formalities out of the way before they fucked her.

They swayed slightly as they kissed, the throes of young and uncorrupted love overpowering maybe for a brief minute all the shame she felt. She knew this would probably be the last night she'd be truly happy so why not make Hanataro happy too?

***Change to Yoruichi and before Unchained Melody starts***

"Not gonna lie" Yoruichi said to Soifon "this DJ sucks"

"What makes you say that?" Soifon said looking at the man behind the turntables trying to look cool.

"Besides randomly switching between slow and fast songs?"  
"I suppose it does kind of ruin the dance"

"Fancy doing our dance with the next slow one?" Yoruichi said

"I suppose" Soifon said "I wish he wouldn't play dubstep too, it's not very prom like music"

"Just look at his hair" Yoruichi said "he obviously thinks himself to be the next Skrillex"

She took another drink of the revolting punch and glanced at the Principal Juha Bach. She remembered when it was him who'd thrown her out of her last prom, now he glanced around the room with a look of upper-class distaste. "Invaders must die" Yoruichi muttered tapping her foot to the beat of the song. Eventually the song finished and the DJ said in his annoying zany voice

"Slowing it down again folks"

"Alright" Yoruichi said taking Soifon by the hand. She smiled as the Unchained Melody played. "Didn't I once say we were gonna dance this song together?"

"You did" Soifon said taking an awkward slow dancing position. She should've actually given Soifon a bit of training in terms of dancing.

"Move with the song, not with me" Yoruichi said. Soifon stared at her feet. "Be proud" Yoruichi smiled putting her finger under her chin and pushing her head up. Her cheeks reddened and she stared into Yoruichi's eyes. Her eyes regarded her with adoration and happiness.

"I don't think I've been this happy" Soifon said resting her head on Yoruichi's shoulder.

"Honestly" Yoruichi said "neither have I"

"I love you" Soifon said. Yoruichi smiled

"I love you, too" She replied "no one can stop us when we're together"

"No one" Soifon smiled.

***Change***

Toshiro glanced at Yoruichi and Soifon dancing together. They looked happy; they danced slowly and in complete sync with each other. Momo smiled at him. It always made his heart pick up its pace when she smiled, she had a special one he was convinced she only used for him. The Unchained Melody finished and 'Hungry Eyes' by Eric Carman played "Dirty Dancing songs now?" Toshiro said narrowing his eyes at the DJ

"I think it's romantic"

_I've been meaning to tell you…_

_I've got this feeling and it won't subside _

"You said that when The Prodigy was playing" Toshiro said. Her cheeks reddened slightly. They swayed in their own world, there could've been a massacre going on around them and they'd be none the wiser.

She truly was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Everything about her, her eyes, her hair that framed her flawless face; just perfect. The song, despite being really cheesy set the mood. He couldn't waste any more time, he didn't want to. He leaned forward. He glanced into her large brown eyes; she wanted it as much as he did.

_With these Hungry eyes…_

_One look at you and I can't disguise_

_I've got Hungry Eyes_

_I feel the magic between you and I._

He pressed his lips against hers and closed his eyes, treasuring the softness of her lips. The breath exhaled from her nose tickled the fine hairs above his lip. She let out the softest moan and pulled him closer to her.

He'd only kissed a few girls in his life but she was by far the one he'd remember the most. Nothing but pure love and innocence laced the kiss. They eventually pulled themselves apart; the thin layer of lip-gloss she wore tried futilely to keep their lips together. Who needs drugs when you've got a girl like her, her kiss was sweeter than any upper.

She smiled again and said: "I waited for so long"  
"Forgive me" He said "I was scared"

"You don't need to be when your with me" She placed her forehead against his and they swayed together again.

The song eventually stopped and Mr Hirako jumped up on stage "Okay, Okay, okay" He said "Time to get the eighty-fifth annual Seireitei High Prom King and Queen"

"Bet its Bambietta and Jayden" Toshiro said

"Gisselle was looking pretty fabulous too" Momo said

"Okay" He said "I'll read first, second and third" He pulled out an envelope "Third we have…Jason and Gisselle…woo" he said "second we have Bambietta and…uh…Jayden"

"I wonder who's first" Momo said "Maybe it's Yoruichi and Soifon?"

"Prom Queen and Queen" Toshiro chuckled

"First we have…" He grinned "Toshiro Hitsugaya and Momo Hinamori…both of whom haven't gave in their History Homework"

"Us?" Toshiro said

"I can't believe it" Momo said smiling "c'mon" She said pulling him by the hand to the stage. When he was up he stared at all the people, how many of them had voted for him? Yoruichi grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

"Congratulations" Shinji said placing a crown atop Toshiro's head. Momo wore a nice tiara. "Now for the Last Dance!"

The music came on again, slow and much more romantic. "We have to dance in front of all these people?" Toshiro said

"Yeah" Shinji replied shrugging. Momo took Toshiro into their dancing position. She beamed as they moved in perfect synchronicity. Little did they know, their happiness would be shot lived. The War was starting and now that all sides were geared up it would start soon but who'd throw the first punch?

***Change***

Haschwald stood at the docks and watched the boat approaching. Over fifteen of the most dangerous people in the world were coming to take over this island and then disappear again. Aizen truly thinks himself to be above everyone else there were just some people that cannot be surpassed with a snazzy slicked back hairdo and planning ahead. Juha Bach needed more than that to be taken down and now that fifteen people with power equal to or greater than Aizen were approaching the island Aizen didn't stand a chance…

***Change***

Aizen scowled as Pesquisa crashed, it's crashed twice now, what was happening? "Where's Ulquiorra when you need him?" Starrk said looking at the screen.

"Killed remember" Barragan said "what'll we do now, our eyes are gone?"

"Just remember who you're dealing with" Aizen said calmly "Pesquisa is just one of our many weapons, now get on the dual band radio and call in support from our allies in Hawaii, I know we've called in the rest of the Numeros but we'll need some regular Gillians as well"

"Ah…" Gin said "it seems our radio has died"

The power went out and the building went dark as a light flashed in the sky. "An EMP" Aizen said "that was unexpected. Starrk, Barragan, take your fracción and go out and kill every Stern Ritter or Kotowari you can find Gin you come with me"  
"Where are we going?"

"The Tenshiheisōban" Aizen smirked "I think it's high time we stopped messing around and actually made a real move"

***Change***

Kukaku Shiba almost seemed to pose with the APILAS anti-tank Rocket Launcher on her shoulder. From the cliff she pointed it up at the sky and pulled the trigger. She staggered backward a little as the modified compact nuclear device shot out of it and zipped into the sky leaving a smoke trail in its wake.

The rocket reached and altitude of a three thousand feet and detonated. She turned her back, dropping the rocket launcher as the light of the explosion turned darkness to day. She lit a cigarette and took a long draw as the light faded. Kisuke watched his Amazonian warrior goddess as she walked toward the car.

He looked at his cell phone, it wouldn't wake up… it was dead, the SIM was fried and the last boat had just got into the island. This night…it was the beginning of the End.

***Change***

Ukitake, Kyoraku, Unohana and Yamamoto watched the EMP burst in the sky. "It's been a while since we've declared war on an organised army" Kyoraku said

"We'll win" Yamamoto said "there's no way we can allow ourselves to lose"

"Always giving ultimatums" Kyoraku said lowering the brim of his straw hat, he only wore it when he intended to spill the blood of another human being.

They all turned and walked away they all had places to be, how many times must this be done? Ukitake thought jadedly, they'd dethroned many insane leaders, maniacal dictators and like a Hydra two more always rise to take its place now the two heads were the most fearsome he'd ever seen. In one corner was the leader of a secret society that can supposedly bring entire nations to their knees, on the other corner was an above genius level intellect who'd been planning his rise to infinite power for years and has countless allies and friends all over the world. All they had was a few ex-gangsters, a flirtatious PI, a one armed barkeep and an ex-amphetamine addicted schoolboy.

***Change***

Nel took a deep breath and pressed enter. The Oken laid waste to every operating system in the island, only radios would work now and Kukaku had taken care of them too. A faint pop and the sky lit up. Candice watched, marvelled at the light. "The EMP is gorgeous"

"I know" Nel said watching as the radiation caused interference with the Solar Storm that happened to be occurring filling the sky up with a bright and vibrant aurora.

"Let's get this over with" Candice said walking out the door. Nel smiled sadly as she watched her, there really was a strange freedom in knowing you're about to die…

***Change***

Bambietta frowned as all the lights went out. "Wh-what happened?" Hanataro said trying to stand up.

"The War has finally begun" Bambietta said feeling dread wash over her. She'd wanted to lie with Hanataro for a little while longer. She rarely got to cuddle into a man after he'd had his way with her. Most of the time she'd never wanted to but Hanataro was different not to mention a nervous wreck. He'd kissed his first girl, danced with his first girl, got his first girlfriend and lost his virginity in one night.

"What'll we do?" He said

"Stay here" Bambietta said "I don't want to participate; I just want to be with you"

"But we have to help our friends" Hanataro said "I won't stand by as they put their lives on the line"

"Talk about driving a hard bargain" Bambietta said scowling in the darkness. She put her dress back on and holding his hand both for comfort and so he didn't get lost. "I guess I owe it to Candice to help out, she was my best friend after all"

"Okay" He said

"I hope you're ready" Bambietta said "it'll be carnage, I fought the number four Espada and he was a brutal bastard, the remaining ones will be tough and the Stern Ritter have just under twenty people with fighting prowess succeeding or equal to mine"

"We'll find a way" Hanataro said "Ukitake always finds a way"

***Change***

"Kaboom" Bolin said

"A nuke!" Senju said staring at it

"An EMP" Lei said "phones are out"

They all stood on top of a building, across the street was the school.

"We do what we were sent for" Lei said looking down as the kids from the prom exited the dark building. "It's time to Break the Bee"

[End of Chapter Twenty Seven]


	28. Chapter 28: Slugger

"So where are they?" Motoi said looking at all of the pupils leaving the gym hall. Lei looked around…

"There they are" He said. Shaolin walked out of the gym hall with her squeeze. What a mighty fine squeeze she was. "I'll take out Yoruichi first" Lei said taking aim "can't have her vowing revenge, Shaolin won't get far or the leg"  
"Whatever you say. Boss" Motoi said

"Sounds like insubordination, rudeness, sass"

"Get on with it"

He sighed and looked through the scope again. Yoruichi was a damn fine woman…it was such a shame. He took a deep breath and lined the crosshairs with her head. At the last second she looked up and saw him. Too late…he pulled the trigger.

"No fucking way" Motoi said staring through the binoculars. The crowd erupted into panic and chaos. "How the hell did she do that, Lei!?"

"I don't know" He said trying not to show how freaked out he was

"Lei!" Motoi said "She just dodged a fucking bullet!"

"I know!" He said. He lost sight of both Yoruichi and Shaolin in the crowd "Let's go, we're compromised"

"Yeah"

"Bolin" He said "go and kill Bambietta, if our last use of Pesquisa was right she'll still be with that Yamada kid in the attic"

"'Kay" He said before turning and sluggishly walking away trailing his baseball bat behind him.

"Let's go" Motoi said. Lei took one last look at the crowd and stood up. He knew these guys were going to be tough but Jesus Christ! People shouldn't be able to do that!

***Change***

"What was that!?" Soifon almost shrieked as they jumped in the car.

"A sniper"

"I know but what the hell" Soifon said "You dodged a bullet"

"So?"

"What do you mean: so?"

"Oh…" Yoruichi laughed "I forgot to tell you I could do that"

"But how can you do it?"

"You obviously don't know that much about Hierro"

"How so?"

"Because Hierro is a steroid that basically puts someone in their highest physical power"  
"And?"

"Well it can be done without Hierro too" Yoruichi said "I have trained my body so much that with my reflexes and muscles allow me to dodge bullets"

"So you have steely skin like Hierro gives too?"  
"No" Yoruichi said as she drove "that is a side-effect of Hierro"

"I see" Soifon said. "Where are we going?"

"Going to the Manor"  
"Why?"  
"We've got to secure the Hogyoku" Yoruichi said "It was being looked after in the Tenshiheisōban but now the fight's begun it'll be placed under our protection and we'll keep behind the frontlines"

"What about Toshiro and the others back at the Prom?"

"They've got something to do" Yoruichi said "what's that…" She said looking at the satnav screen. It was freaking out, going pixelated and fuzzy.

"I dunno" Soifon said pressing buttons that even Yoruichi didn't know what they did. The screen became clear and Yoruichi slowed to a stop so she could watch the screen.

"Good evening" said Nel in her Mastermind voice "My name is the Mastermind and this is a warning to the citizens of Rukon, do not leave your houses for I have a nuclear weapon…" The screen depicted a large missile with a radiation symbol on it. "This is for your own safety but if I see anyone trying to flee the island I will detonate the bomb"

"Whoa" Soifon said "what a play by Nel, keeping civvies off the streets"

"I know" Yoruichi scowled

"As for you…Yoruichi" The screen said "All of the Stern Ritter have assembled on the island and Aizen is closing in on your little Tenshiheisōban and he'll kill everyone"

The screen went black. "Crap" Yoruichi said "We have to stop Aizen"

"Step on it then" Soifon said. She gasped "look out!" someone had stepped onto the road and pointed an Assault rifle at them. He wore a white uniform.

"He's gotta be a Stern Ritter!" Yoruichi said reversing as he unleashed a torrent of bullets toward the car. "Shit, shit, shit" Yoruichi said ducking as her windshield exploded. She performed a J-turn and accelerated down the road as bullets struck the back of the car.

A boat beside them exploded into shards of metal and carbon fibre. "Is that a tank!?" Soifon shouted as the large vehicle burst from the rubble.

"Oh Shit!" Yoruichi said as the tank trained it's gun toward the car. She braked and the tank fired. The shell zipped past missing the car by centimetres.

The building beside them exploded sending rubble and glass flying into the side of the car. "Step on it!" Soifon said

"I'm going as fast as I goddamn can!" Yoruichi shrieked "Have you any idea how much this car cost me!"

The man with the Assault Rifle fired his under-barrel grenade launcher at the Tank. The tanks barrel swung around and trained itself on him. It fired blowing the man to pieces. Smoke and debris flew into the sky where the man had been.

There was a flash of light in front of them and something zipped into the sky. It continued going up and then once it reached its peak it swooped down. "Get down, it's a Javelin!" Yoruichi said. The Rocket struck the tank blowing massive chucks of metal all over the street. Yoruichi drove up to the person who'd just fired. "Hi there" He said "my name is Kugo"

"You must be one of the Xcution guys" Yoruichi said

"I am" He said "mind giving me a ride?"

"Sure" She said "hop in"

He opened the door and jumped in "You Rukongai's sure know how to throw a welcome party"

"You ain't seen nothing yet" Yoruichi said. "Where to?"

"We've only been told to help out" he said "I'll go wherever you're going"

"Is that right?" She said looking at him in the rear-view mirror. He seemed trustworthy enough,

Driving to the Tenshiheisōban was a tense journey; they could hear the sounds of gunfire in the distance. Who was shooting at who? Kukaku? Toshiro? She was worried about her friends. Driving up the pink bricked drive she heard gunfire scarily close. "Shit they're already here" Yoruichi said jumping out. Soifon followed ignoring the dull ache in her leg. Yoruichi had given her a pistol the heavy metal killing device felt comfortable in her hand. During their five moths together Yoruichi had trained her in many things shooting, 'hakuda' which was the martial art she practiced, knife fighting and even bow hunting.

"Is she single?" Kugo said to Soifon

"No" Soifon said

"Who's her boyfriend?"

"They are the toughest son of a bitch you'll ever meet, wouldn't mess with her unless you want your arms broken" Soifon said

"Scary" he said shrugging. Soifon chuckled and continued to casually follow Yoruichi.

"Soifon!" She said

"What?"

"Clear out the manor" She said "I'll continue to the Tenshiheisōban"

"Aye-aye" Soifon said, she really wanted to stay with Yoruichi but now was the time to be a stroppy teen.

"I'll go with Yoruichi" Kugo said

"Thanks" Soifon said scowling at him. She shrugged and opened the front door. She was tempted to shout to see if anyone was inside. She quickly composed herself and put her predator mode on. She'd have to be ice cold. She walked into the kitchen. No one… "Freeze!" someone behind her shouted. She turned and stared at Renji and Shuhei. "Oh it's you" Renji said

"What are you guys doing here?" Soifon said

"We're defending the Manor from Aizen"  
"Okay"

"He himself is here!" Shuhei said "He's in the front lines, got an M16 and everything"

"O…kay" Soifon said "Well then shouldn't we be trying to shoot him?"

"Yeah, come on" Renji said tossing an Ak-47 at her. She grabbed it and followed. "We'll go up to the balcony, there we can see across the grounds and perhaps be able to pincer Aizen's forces as they close in on the Tenshiheisōban"

"I never had you as a strategist" Soifon smirked

"Uh… it was Toshiro's idea" Renji paused and stared at Soifon "you look nice"  
"Uh…thanks" She said feeling her cheeks redden a little.

She followed them upstairs and found herself looking out over a battlefield and it was no word of a lie. Tracer rounds and rockets drew orange and yellow lines across the night sky. The Tenshiheisōban was a rather traditional looking Japanese building; inside of course was a state of the art laboratory. Aizen's force used craters from what seemed like an airstrike as makeshift bunkers. How many enemies were there? Soifon thought horrified…there must've been over a thousand!

***Change***

Bambietta stared at the man, he stared back… "Who are you?" Hanataro said

"Me?" The man said. He said nothing else; he merely started to suck beer from a stupid looking beer hat. He twirled the baseball bat in his hands.

"Get back, Hanataro" Bambietta said. She was getting some horrific vibes from this guy. In a swift movement he swung the bat. She dodged it so narrowly she felt the air being displaced next to her face.

The bat smashed into the floor. The wooden floorboards shattered under the force. "The fuck is this guy?" Bambietta said backing away. "I wish I had my sticks" she remembered…she did! She'd brought a few in her purse…wherever she'd left it.  
"Hanataro" She said "have you seen my bag?"

"I…uh" He thought "I saw it in the bathroom"

"Run and get it" She said "I'll keep him busy"

"Okay" He said turning and running through to the bathroom. The man swung another strike which was dodged at a massive pain to her leg. Damn it, she was severely regretting getting on Yoruichi's bad side, now she was nearly useless in this fight. She dodged a few more and used a microphone stand to block another strike.

After a second one the stand was bent beyond usefulness. "You sure eat your Wheaties"

"I don't like vegetables" he said

"What?" Bambietta stared at him "great…I'm gonna be killed by a retard"

He struck a plinth with the bat and she fell back as she was showered with shards of wood. "Hey!" She heard someone shout "get back here"

Hanataro ran in holding her bag. Jayden chased after him with a look of fury on his face. "Who the fuck are you?" He said looking at the pudgy retard

"I'm Bolin…I'm not supposed to talk to strangers"

"Gimmie that bat dickhead" he said holding out his hand. He barely had time to react as Bolin smashed the bat into his face. It didn't stop; it just went straight through, completely dismantling his head and spraying a considerable amount of the floor with blood.

"Shit" Bambietta said rummaging in her bag.

"Bambi is next" Bolin said waddling toward her

"Fuck this guy!" She yelled pulling two sticks from her bag "Come at me bro!"

She pushed a red one as she threw it. The red ones were two seconds but weaker than then rest. He struck the stick with his bat as it exploded. The bat managed to deflect most of the explosion but he still took major damage, staggering back as his stupid had was blown from his head. Bambietta pushed a blue one and rolled it along the floor.  
"Come on!" She said grabbing Hanataro "GTG!"

"Bambi come back" He said giving chase. The blue dynamite exploded, it was the most powerful and even blew her and Hanataro over from their distance. Bolin disappeared in a fiery explosion.

She tried to stand. Pain seared up her other leg. "Shit" She said pulling a shard of wood from it "You'll need to get that treated before it gets infected" Hanataro said. He stooped and picked her up, he didn't struggle and act nervously, it was strange how he could just transition between a nervous stuttering boy to a calm and powerful man. She had read somewhere that introverts could make for very loyal friends; perhaps this was such a loyalty.

She smiled at him as he carried her. There was a sickening crack and Bolin said "We're not done yet you little skank". Hanataro wailed in pain as his leg shattered. He dropped her and fell to the ground. Bambietta tried to grab for another stick but it was too late. With another even more sickening thwack he stuck Hanataro in the face with the bat. His head didn't explode like Jayden's did but it had done far too much damage for one boy to take. He lay on the ground, unmoving, he was surely dead. Bambietta felt nothing but rage. Just as she'd found happiness this guy took it away, was this god punishing her for her sins? With a scream of fury she kicked Bolin's feet. He fell to the ground.

He swung his bat for her. She blocked it with the cast on her knee, but the cast shattered and so did her knee, again. He rolled over just as Bambietta pushed a green button "If I'm gonna die" She threw it at him "Then you're coming with me" He rolled on top of the stick and it exploded. Flesh and bone erupted everywhere. Bambietta almost laughed as blood rained down. He really was a retard.

She rolled over and crawled over to Hanataro. She shook him "Hana" She said. He didn't move. She put her hand on his chest and then felt his pulse…nothing. "Please" She said crying. "I know it's selfish", she put her forehead against his "but I don't wanna be alone" She put her lips against his and breathed out. This kiss of life wasn't really designed for head wounds but she didn't care, she was out of options. "Please" She said again allowing her tears to drip onto his face; they washed the blood from his wound away "Don't leave me" She said before blowing again "DON'T LEAVE ME!" She screamed at the top of her lungs "I've never loved anyone more than you, even when I was a bitch I kind of liked you. I thought you were sweet, I liked how you always gave me a pencil or an eraser even if I just used it to throw at Soifon" She tried one last kiss.

He convulsed and her mouth filled with blood. She coughed and spat it out. Hanataro coughed blood up and took a deep breath. "It…" he said "it was always my pleasure" he then collapsed and took several deep breaths.

Bambietta cuddled into the side of him and looked up at the dark ceiling "What a fucking night" She said

"I know" he said "let's elope"  
"Elope?"  
"Yeah" He said "Once we're done here I don't want to live on this island anymore"

"I see" Bambietta said "I agree a new slate" She smiled "just me and you"

He put his hand in hers "just me and you"

***Change***

"WOO!" Rukia yelled grinning. Byakuya gripped the arm rest so hard his knuckles were white. Toshiro looked back at the Tank… better yet tanks chasing them. He was terrified, not for himself but for Momo. Despite being insane behind the wheel of a car Rukia was a damn good driver. The little Chappy bunny nodded away on the dashboard.

Sirens from police cars filled the night air and the tanks were accompanied by police cars "Whoop, Whoop is that the sound of da police!" Rukia sang cheerily weaving between abandoned cars. A tank shell whizzed past and Rukia took a left. "Is someone, uh, gonna shoot back?" She said

"Just focus on getting us away" Toshiro said

"Alrighty then" Rukia said. "Where to?"

"The Tenshiheisōban" Byakuya said "we have to help Yoruichi and the others ward off Aizen"

"On it" Rukia said pulling a cup holder out.

"What's that?" Toshiro said

"NOS!" Rukia said

"What!?" He yelled putting his seatbelt on. She pushed a red button and the car accelerated faster than anything he'd ever been in. They left the police and tanks behind and before he knew it she was already doing 200MPH. "Slow down" He said "You're gonna get us killed!"

"Nonsense" Rukia laughed but she slowed down.

Once they had lost the police and tanks they made their way to the Tenshiheisōban. Hopefully it wouldn't be a lost cause. Toshiro stared as they drove up the pink brick driveway. Ryuu Shihouin's manor was completely engulfed in flames. "Holy crap" Rukia said. Toshiro jumped out of the car and jogged around the building. The lack of gunfire was what was scaring him the most. He stopped and stared, bodies littered the neatly mown lawn of Ryuu's manor. Most were Numeros but one struck him as familiar.

He ran over and rolled Hiyori over. She was still alive and was clutching a wound on her stomach. "Shit, kid" She groaned "gave me a fight there"

"What happened?" Toshiro asked

"I don't even fuckin know!" She said "One minute I was fighting and the next all of the Kotowari's were bleeding and Aizen was standing amongst us. He…" She chuckled, blood covered her chin "He cut us all down, Soifon, Yoruichi, Urahara, Ryo all of them…I don't know if they survived"

"That means…" He said

"Yeah" She said "He's got the fucking Hogyoku…he's won"

[End of Chapter Twenty Eight]

**Okay…this story obviously isn't going to be over 200k but still…I'm packing a shit ton of stuff into now two chapters, so you can expect the next two to be super-fast paced and explosive. Car chases, tank fights and Yoruichi will be flying her Spitfire again before the night is over…**


	29. Chapter 29: Octane

***Yoruichi's POV before Aizen 'Teleports'***

Yoruichi fired off a few more bursts of bullets and ducked back behind the window as a hail of bullets peppered the wall around her. "There's too many!" She shouted at Tessai who fired a Barrett .50 cal at the enemies. Every time he pulled the trigger Yoruichi thought her eardrums might burst. Of course the absolute monster that he was he handled the recoil of the gun with little trouble.

"We'll just have to hold out" Tessai shouted over the gunfire "It's not impossible"

"Don't give me your optimist bullshit!" Yoruichi shouted pulling the empty mag from her ACR and sticking a full one in. "We Ned a proper sniper"

"Most of the Feng's are snipers" Tessai said "you know about Shaozu and his skills"

"I can't drag him away from the Particle Accelerator" Yoruichi said. She instinctively ducked when there was a shot from a gun much louder than the others. She recognised the noise and wasn't sure wither or not to be excited or scared. "Nel's here!"

"They didn't call her the Green Lancer for nothing" Tessai said.

Yoruichi watched as the Numeros scattered for cover. Now they were fully pincered. Soifon, Renji and Shuhei on one side, Nel on the other and Yoruichi and the others at the front. Now they should… There was a strange bang and a flash of blue light. "What was that!?" Yoruichi shouted.

"Look out!" Tessai shouted. Pain seared up her back and she turned as she fell. Aizen stood, blood soaked sword raised above his head.

He cut down Tessai too. Yoruichi stared, horrified as he walked through the Tenshiheisōban slashing at the unsuspecting allies. As she started to lose consciousness she wondered just what had happened. How had he just appeared behind them? "Damn it" She said and then darkness…

***Change to present***

Soifon busied herself with looking after Yoruichi. She'd replaced her dress with some clothes she'd found in Yoruichi's old room. She'd brought some for Yoruichi too. The slash she'd taken was deep but she'd live. Urahara looked horrified, he was obviously having trouble explaining to everyone and himself how Aizen had teleported.

This war was basically between three godlike forces it was only natural they'd have something as extreme as this up their sleeve. After all Yoruichi could dodge bullets and Kisuke had built a device capable of powering the globe for fifty thousand years. "It's not the teleporter that has freaked Urahara out" Yoruichi said "he'd been working on one… he knows it's possible"  
"So what is it?" Soifon said stirring Yoruichi's cup of tea "Aizen knew exactly where the Hogyoku was"  
"What?" Soifon said "how?"

"Someone…" Yoruichi nervously looked around at the injured allies "told him, there is a traitor in our midst"

"Crap" Soifon said "What are we gonna do?"

"Speak to the person who knows everything" Yoruichi said standing up

"You haven't drank your tea yet" Soifon said

"I can drink and walk y'know" She said picking up the cup "C'mon"

They left the building and walked across the destroyed lawn, toward the forest. "I've got a serious suspicion Nel has pulled a fast one"

"What makes you say that?"

"Nel's snuck through the entire conflict when we thought she was dead, she could've easily switched the Hogyoku for a fake one"

"Makes sense" Soifon said as they stepped into the undergrowth.

"I hate to disappoint" Nel said.

Soifon looked up to see Nel sitting on a tree branch with a sniper rifle. She wondered where Candice was. "I never replaced the Hogyoku, Aizen has the real one"  
"Damn" Yoruichi said "You seem to know everything" Yoruichi said "What'll we do next?"  
"Dunno" Nel said

"What?"

"The plan I had would only work if you managed to keep your hands on the Hogyoku now that you've lost it the plan fails and we lose"

"You can't seriously believe that" Yoruichi said "You're the 'Mastermind'; you've always got a plan"

"Have you any idea how hard it is to plan around someone like Aizen's plans!?"  
"I know it's too hard for you" Yoruichi said "but that's because you're not the real 'Mastermind'"

"Who is?" Soifon said staring at her

"My father" Yoruichi said "I never thought of it before but his death moved this entire thing forward, he'd planned to die from the beginning"

"Very perceptive" Nel said "like I said…you've let your father down and-"

"No!" Yoruichi said "my father was the smartest man in the world, he could outsmart someone like Aizen, he's planned around this and I know you're not telling me because I'd try to stop you"  
"Leave it, Yoruichi, this has to happen, it's the only way" Nel said

"Then don't" Yoruichi said "if you know I'd try to stop you then why are you doing it?"  
"It's the only way" Nel said "by killing the Mastermind Aizen will become sloppy with confidence"

"So that's it?" Yoruichi said "You've to give your very life for my father's plan?"

"Yes"

"Don't"

"Why not?"

"I love my father" Yoruichi said "I don't want to hear about someone dying because he told them to, I'd hate him and I don't want to"  
"That's very selfish" Nel said "apologies, the die has been cast" She dropped a can at their feet. For a brief moment Soifon thought it was another flashbang but this one popped and spewed out thick smoke. "I'd run if I were you, the fight has attracted the Stern Ritter they'll be looking to kill everyone"

"Wait!" Yoruichi said coughing in the thick smoke. "Damn it"

"C'mon" Soifon said "the Stern Ritter will kill our friends"

"Damn it" Yoruichi said "go to them and get Rukia to steal a bus or something and drive to Karakura, we'll take this invasion to Aizen, fuck being immortal, cut off his head and see what happens I say"  
"Where are you going?"

"You'll see" Yoruichi said "Now go!"

Soifon took her lovers advice and jogged as fast as her leg would allow toward the Tenshiheisōban. "Guys" She sad when she got there "We have to go, the Stern Ritter are coming"  
"Damn it" Ryo said

"How do we escape?" Toshiro said

"My father has a bus he used for some jobs" Ryo said "It should be able to carry us all"

"I'm driving" Rukia said

"Oh god dammit!" Toshiro wailed.

Rukia was led by Ryo to the bus and after two or three minutes she pulled up. Everyone who was defending the Tenshiheisōban piled in: Toshiro, Momo, Byakuya, Shaozu, Mayuri, Nemu, Akon, Soifon, Tessai, Urahara, Hiyori, Kugo, Renji and Shuhei. "We got guns?" Renji said

"More than enough" Ryo said indicating at the pile of munitions lying at the back.

"All aboard for the Charon express, next stop: Hell" Rukia said placing Chappy on the dashboard. She accelerated sending Mayuri crashing forward.

"Are you insane!?" He shouted at Rukia. She quickly accelerated down the pink brick driveway. She didn't even break when an SUV stopped in their path.

"Big mistake!" Rukia yelled as she broadsided the SUV out of the way. "Wahahaha!"

"She's a vehicular menace!" Renji screamed.

Soifon caught a glimpse of the driver of the SUV and froze…was that…? Rukia didn't leave much time to see as she sped down the street and made a left onto the Seireitei-Karakura Highway. Nel's warning had been scarily effective and it was almost deserted. A few cars lay abandoned and what looked like an army convoy passed on the other side.

"They're turning!" Shuhei said

"Then it's a chase!" Rukia said grinning evilly "Catch me if you can!"

"The Stern Ritter are here too!" Renji shouted looking behind them. Soifon turned and looked out the back window. Maybe seven or eight modified pickups and cars sped down the highway after them. "Why is this happening to us?" Renji wailed again

"Grow a pair of balls you pansy!" Rukia yelled back. The Army and Stern Ritter lined up with each other and started firing at each other. It was like one of those pirate movies where two enemy ships come together and start firing cannons at each other.

"Step on it" Ryo said "they're catching up"

"They won't" Toshiro said grabbing an RPG-7. He pointed the rocket launcher and fired. The Rocket burst from the launcher and whizzed down the road and struck the median sending concrete flying across the road. An Army Jeep awkwardly stuck a big chunk of concrete and flipped over. It somersaulted over the road sending shards of metal flying everywhere.

A tank rolled right over the top of it. "Why do these pricks have Scorpions!?" Shaozu shouted

"What's the difference?" Renji said

"Scorpions are the fastest tanks in the world" Shaozu replied "But don't worry the max out at about 50mph"

"I hate to be a buzz kill" Soifon said looking at Rukia's speedometer "but she'd doing eighty and they're catching up"

"They've modified the engine" Shaozu said

"Toshiro, aim for the tanks" Ryo said

"How am I supposed to do that, huh!?" He shouted. "There are only RPG-7's and they suck at killing tanks!"

The fight had now fully caught up to them. A Stern Ritter car pulled up to their left and unleashed a hailstorm of bullets. Soifon threw herself onto the ground with everyone else. They couldn't have timed it better as one of the Scorpions fired a shell into the back of the bus blowing a good portion of the roof off. "Holy shit!" Rukia said. She jerked the steering wheel and the bus veered into the car. She crushed it between the bus and the concrete median. Soifon picked up an AK-47 and pulled the trigger. She forced the guns recoil under control as she peppered the car's windscreen with bullet holes.

The screen became splattered with blood and the car slowed straight into the path of another Army Jeep. They collided and exploded into a huge fireball. One of the five tanks burst straight through the inferno and stuck its barrel straight though the busses rear window.

Toshiro ducked just in time as it fired. The shell hit no one and disappeared past Rukia and out the front windscreen. Ryo stood up and fired his pistol into the barrel of the tank as the people inside pulled the spent shell out.

The bullets bounced around the inside of the tank making mincemeat out of the soldiers. The driver was obviously hit too as the tank veered left and smashed into another one. They disappeared over the side of the overpass and into the river below. They now crossed over an attractive suspension bridge.

Another tank fired at them. The Shell missed and struck one of the suspension supports. The cables snapped with a loud 'crack' and a tank literally fell in half as the taut cable sliced through armoured steel like a warm knife through butter.

"The fucking bridge is gonna fall!" Rukia said as the bridge's support fell. Soifon's eyes widened as she saw the road behind them start to fall away. The Stern Ritter and Army ceased their fight and accelerated to try to escape the bridge falling.

They all overtook the bus. "Go, go, go!" Soifon shouted as the falling asphalt got closer.

"OH SHIIIT!" Rukia said as the back wheels briefly fell off the crumbling bridge. Luckily they found traction and they pulled away from the drop.

"I need a lie down" Ryo said shaking his head.

Rukia swerved out of the way of an exploding Stern Ritter car. "Who's in that SUV?" Renji said. Soifon had noticed the SUV was still chasing them and they had the highest body count so far. The sun roof the SUV opened and someone climbed out and with a feat of jumping that everyone stared, amazed, at he jumped into the bus.

Now there was no denying it. Soifon saw his face, that tattoo…he was… "Motoi!" Shaozu yelled tackling him. They rolled around the floor punching at each other. Soifon could feel her weak heart beating as years of emotional abuse relapsed through her. Shaozu picked Motoi up and threw him into the roof and the slammed him into the floor. He unleashed a devastating kick and he disappeared out the window. "Who the fuck was that!" Shuhei said

"Our brother" Shaozu said. Soifon stared out the back of the bus and watched Motoi do another amazing jump and kick a man off a motorbike and mount it without the motorbike even slowing.

He accelerated toward them. She could feel herself shaking. Was this how much she'd shook the ghosts of her past? Just seeing one of them brought her out in a cold sweat. She'd promised herself that she'd never falter when it came to this conflict so what was she doing now?

She swallowed and grabbed a shotgun and fired at Motoi. He swerved the motorbike to avoid the buckshot. Soifon fired another and another. All of them missed. "Stay still you bastard!" Soifon shouted

"You always sucked at dodge ball!" Motoi shouted back

"Fuck you!" She roared firing the last shot. The buckshot struck him square in the chest. She stared as he never even faltered. "What!" She said

"Bullet proof vest" Shaozu said. Motoi caught right up to them and did another of his jumps as fire from another explosion completely enveloped the bus. He kicked Shaozu and grabbed Soifon by the throat.

She smacked his hand from her and drove her fingers into his pressure points for Nigeki Kessatsu. At the last second he dodged the last point. "I won't fall for something like that" He said punching her. Shaozu hauled him off and kicked him. When he was away from Soifon and Shaozu Momo and Toshiro peppered him with bullets.

Momo looked quite stunning with her red dress and submachine gun combo, quite the femme fatale. He lay unmoving on the floor. "Care to explain?" Soifon said to Shaozu

"To be perfectly honest I only found out a few days ago" Shaozu said. He picked Motoi's bloodied corpse up and threw him out of the window.

"We're approaching the Soul Palace!" Rukia said. Soifon looked out the front. Despite the massive battle before them she still couldn't get over how stunning it was. The highway cut straight through the centre of the volcano and the tunnel was made from glass. The magma provided a natural light that was so marvellous and stunning people usually stared whilst they drove… it had the highest crash rate in the world.

The Tanks didn't cease firing on all enemies. "They're gonna rupture the tunnel!" Byakuya said as a massive crack started to leak boiling lava.

"Fuck this!" Renji said grabbing a RPG-7. He fired at a tank. The rocket struck it and it veered and unfortunately smashed straight through the glass.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Soifon shouted as the tunnel started to shatter. "Go!"

"Damn it!" Rukia shouted "Chappy save me!"  
Heat hit her as the lava dripped onto the roof of the bus. As they drove a massive tsunami of lava chased them from the shattering tunnel. "How can this day get any worse!?"

"Less bitching more driving" Ryo shouted at Rukia. She accelerated as another exploding jeep blew past them. She rammed into another Stern Ritter car and narrowly avoided a huge chunk of glass and a 'waterfall' of lava.

"I can't even make shit as surreal as this in Minecraft!" Hiyori shouted

"That's because you suck!" Toshiro replied "I hate the heat!"  
"We're nearly out" Rukia said as another piece of glass went straight through the roof of another Army Jeep. Now there were only three army jeeps, the SUV Motoi had come from, two Stern Ritter cars and one tank.

They burst out of the collapsing tunnel narrowly avoiding the hellfire. "I'm so gonna tell my grandkids about this" Momo said

"I'm imagining little white haired Momo's" Urahara said. Toshiro's cheeks went scarlet. Urahara stared "That's a C-130!"

"What!" Ryo said stumbling to see. Soifon looked up at the sky and saw a propeller plane banking.

"What do they do?"

"Enemy AC-130 above!" Rukia shouted in a Russian accent. The plane let of what looked like a flare of some kind. It drifted across the sky and then began to rapidly descend

"105!" Shaozu said diving to the ground

"Fuck!"

Whatever it fired missed them and hit the asphalt behind them. The entire freeway erupted upwards. Massive chunks of concrete were hurled for hundreds of metres in all direction "Someone bring down that Spooky!"

"We don't have any heat-seekers" Ryo said

"What's that?" Hiyori said as the road in front of them was peppered with bullets and a Stern Ritter car and two Jeeps were ripped to pieces by the high calibre machine gun fire.

Soifon stared open-mouthed as Yoruichi's spitfire blew past. She started to rise and unleashed a torrent of bullets on the AC-130. The bullets had next to no effect. "I put rockets into it myself" Urahara said to Ryo. Just then Yoruichi loosed two rockets from the wings of the plane.

The AC-130 loosed two sets of flares, they were beautiful in a scary kind of way, and they lit up the sky like an angel. "They don't call it the angel of death for nothing" Ryo said. Yoruichi loosed one more rocket and it struck the back of the other plane.

The plane exploded and drifted toward the ground. With a panicked thought Soifon noticed the debris of the plane was heading toward the road. "We've got Pave Lows!" Ryo said watching three helicopters. Soifon sighed, how much more ridiculous could this get?

"Uh…are they playing the ride of the Valkyries?" Toshiro said

"Americans" Shaozu said shaking his head

"AIZEN!" came a microphone voice from a different helicopter coming from the east "You think you can betray Harribel-Sama and not face the wrath of the Tres Bestias!" The Helicopter unleashed two rockets. Soifon sighed as they missed.

"The EMP has still screwed up all targeting systems" Ryo said "it is impressive that Yoruichi hit that AC-130 with those rockets"

The destroyed AC-130 eventually struck the ground taking one of the Pave Lows with it. They crushed the tank in front of them flat. "Fuuck!" Rukia yelled as the burning debris bounced over the bus missing it by what seemed like centimetres. The Tres Bestias helicopter unleashed Gatling gun fire at the other one and it burst into flames and spun out of control and disappeared over a hill.

The road was coming to a hill and once they reached the top they could see all of Karakura. To the left of the town was the army base. It traded gunfire with Yamamoto's forces that had attacked it at the beginning of the war.

"Now to see if we can win this fucking thing!" Ryo said as the Pave Low fired on the final Stern Ritter car destroying it. It then trained its fire on Yoruichi and Soifon stared horrified as one of Yoruichi's wings burst into flames and the plane barrel rolled and the other wing slashed the tail off of the Pave Low. It, like the last one, spun out of control and whipped the final vehicle, an Army Jeep off the road and exploded.

Soifon was more interested in Yoruichi. She'd managed to crash the plane into a tree. "Stop the bus" Soifon said grabbing Rukia.

"Okay, okay, okay" Rukia said. She braked and the bus came to a steamy stop. Soifon jumped off and ran into the forest. She found Yoruichi's plane, she lay either unconscious or dead inside. With a snapping sound the plane fell off the branches and landed on the ground in front of her.

She ran up to the cockpit and put her hand on Yoruichi's face. "Tell me you're still alive" She said

"Of course I am" Yoruichi said "tell me, how does it feel?"

"What?"

"Knowing you're married to someone as awesome as me" Yoruichi grinned showing off her bloodied teeth.

"You had me scared" Soifon said helping her out of the plane.

"That was epic" Toshiro said. The sound of gunfire in the distance was quite ominous. "Perhaps we should go on foot and rendezvous with Yamamoto and Ukitake"

"I agree" Ryo said "the sun is starting to rise"

"I see that" Yoruichi said "did you see my unguided sidewinder strike?"

"I did" Ryo laughed. They all turned and slowly made their way toward Aizen's compound. Soifon stopped and looked around "where did that SUV go?"

"Dunno" Rukia said "He sped off when Yoruichi started bustin"  
"Oh"

"Did you see who was in it?" Yoruichi said looking at her

"Yeah I did"

"Your brothers" She confirmed

"I know" Soifon replied "I've got a technique I've been developing just for them"

***Change***

Lei wiped blood off his forehead. He didn't know if Bolin had finished with the Basterbine skank but he knew Motoi was dead, that idiot! What was he thinking just jumping into a bus full of enemies like that?

He sat in Aizen's boardroom both Starrk and Barragan were missing and only he, Loly and Meonoly sat in the room. "Good morning" Aizen said walking in

"You seem cheery" Lei said

"I am" Aizen said "after all…I am immortal"

"Really?" Lei said

"Yes…" Aizen said. Lei pulled out his pistol and shot him in the head. He jerked back but the bullet never pieced his skin.

"Cool" Lei said

"I was meaning to test it anyway" Aizen said "it seems you've saved me the effort"

"What now?"

"I think it's time to get rid of those pesky Kotowari's and Stern Ritter"

"Okay then" Lei said "do you have anything to add?"

"Yes" Aizen said "bring me Soifon…alive"

[End of Chapter 29]

**Okay so I'm gonna pack the remaining stuff into the final chapter. It'll probably be the longest chapter yet so it's probably best to read it when you aren't busy. TBH I usually read fanfics to skive off of work. Also the week commencing I'll be backshift so I'll probably not finish it this week.**


	30. Chapter 30: Tabula Rasa

The siege of Aizen's compound was taking a ridiculous amount of time. Everyone was tired and worn out. No one was uninjured. "What I want to know is" Matsumoto said to Kira. Soifon sat with them in a tent getting a rest before going back on the frontlines "where is Hanataro?"

"Last time I saw him was when he went to the bathroom in the prom" Soifon said

"You don't think he's just sitting there in the dark wondering where everyone has gone?"

"Mind you" Kira said "we haven't seen those Stern Ritter girls either"

"They'll probably be away somewhere chopping people up or something" Matsumoto sighed "poor bastard, I always feel for autistic kids"  
"He's not autistic!" Kira said

"Shut up" Matsumoto said "he's obviously got Asperger's Syndrome"

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Clumsy, no eye contact, sucky emotional range, bad handwriting, obsession with stuff in this case medicine, inability to string a coherent sentence together in the presence of a stranger" Matsumoto said "Asperger's written all over it"  
"If you say so" Kira shrugged "Criminal minds over here"

Soifon sighed and stood up. "Time to randomly shoot at stuff now" She said

"Amen, sister" Matsumoto said standing up. Soifon exited the tent and jogged through the wood. They'd set up camp about two hundred metres away from the front lines. Soifon inhaled…what was that smell? She'd smelt it before but couldn't place where…

She saw Yoruichi crouched behind a rock; keeping low she ran over and joined her. "How was the break?"

"Tense" Soifon said "still no signs of Hanataro"

"Damn" Yoruichi said "besides Momo, Kira and Unohana he was the only other medic we had" Yoruichi wiped sweat from her forehead "Aizen's force isn't yielding"

"What'll we do?"

"There's already an idea for a…shall we say Stealth Force to sneak in and go Ghurkha on the enemy frontlines"

"Let me guess" Soifon said after sighing "you've volunteered"  
"Hmm?" Yoruichi said before grinning broadly "I may have done"  
"I'll come too" Soifon said "I can't have you going on your own"

"Urahara is coming too" Yoruichi said "so is this dude" She nudged one of the Xcution members "Tsukishima is it?"

"Yes" He said "Shall we go?"

There was another of those horrifying pops and a flash of blue light. Yoruichi turned just in time to dodge a swing of Lei's sword. Soifon stared, was this that 'teleportation?' "Lei?" Soifon said staring at him.

"S'up" He said. He grabbed her and slammed the handle of the sword over her head.

"Where did they go?" Soifon heard Yoruichi should looking around. "Soifon!"

"I'm…right here" Soifon choked before passing out

"She can't see you" lei said "She's tripping, hallucinating, high"

He strolled straight through the forces with Soifon on his back, not a single one of them saw him. Aizen sure was a man of many skills. Kyoka Suigetsu; the hallucination gas had been sprayed just before the fight had really began. All it took a was a blue firework and a sudden appearance and everyone would think it was teleportation! How silly, they should know…there is no such thing as teleportation.

***Change***

Tier scowled at the lid of the fridge. Grimmjow and Ukitake could find anywhere to put her so they stuffed her in this stupid fridge and locked it, they did stab a few holes in so she could breathe so it wasn't all bad and she was getting quite comfortable. Grimmjow had thought it was hilarious to throw a magazine in for her to read… to bad it was pitch black. Luckily she could see in the dark, one of her many talents so the joke really was on him. Opening the magazine she scowled and threw it at her feet…it would be porn.

She sighed and edged the magazine up to her hands again. She was going to be trapped here a while…she might as well have a little 'relaxation time'. She flicked through for a scene that looked relatively sexy. "In here!" Someone said

"Are you sure?" A girl replied "I won't like to have my time wasted"

"I promise, Gisselle, I saw Grimmjow and his buddies in here!"

"Excellent" She said "open that fridge"

"Why?"

"Because it's locked and has air holes in it" She replied "it may have Bambietta or someone inside"

"Okay" He replied

"Yebat" Tier muttered bracing with the magazine to throw it in someone's face. The fridge opened; just before it did she closed her eyes and went limp. She didn't know how many there were and this'd be the better thing to do.

"Who's this bitch?" said 'Gisselle'

"I think she's an Espada" Said another girl who seemed slightly…elsewhere.

"Best to bring her to Haschwald or something" said the male

"Shut up" Gisselle replied "just…is she even alive?"

"She doesn't look like she's breathing" the other girl said

"I'll check the pulse" Said the male.

She felt his fingers go to her wrist. "Shit" he said before Tier grabbed his wrist and stood up putting him in a 'human shield' position. She also grabbed for his gun which she'd guessed would be on his left hip as the majority of the populous was right handed. She was right. She pointed his gun at the six people in the room. Two girls and four males excluding the one she had captive. The girls didn't seem bothered but the men all pointed their rifles at her.

"Are all you guys Stern Ritter?"

"No" The black haired one said. Tier guessed she was Gisselle since she spoke with her voice…

"They're all Vandenreich soldiers" she said "you can liken them to your numerous if you'd like"

"You gonna let me walk?"

"Nah" Gisselle said. With a movement that should've been impossibly fast for a young girl she withdrew a pistol and fired. Tier opened fire on the 'Vandenreich' soldiers and the same time focused her weight on the back of the fridge. It toppled over and gave her cover. She abandoned her dead human shield and crouched behind the fridge.

"Quick reflexes" Gisselle taunted

Tier wasn't really listening to her. She flicked idly though the porn magazine whilst she changed the magazine on the pistol with her other hand. "That's hot" she muttered before sighing "c'mon guys it'll be fun…and the pay is good" She said mocking Apache's voice "why did I let myself get roped into this!?"

"Come out" Gisselle shouted

"In your dreams, suka!"

Tier popped up and fired she managed to strike the remaining two Vandenreich solders but those two Stern Sitter were fast. "You damn Russians!" Gisselle said

"Let's not say some things we'll regret" Tier said. She focused, how was she going to get out of this? Where even was she!? She looked around. Empty shelves and boxes lay around. A shop of some kind. For the first time she looked in front of her and almost slapped herself on the forehead. A back door lay open and the sun shined down on the alley way outside. "Nice of you to leave me where no one would find me Grimmjow" She said scowling. Her guns sat on the table beside the door Her left Glock 18 nicknamed Ola Azul and her right Glock 18 nicknamed La Gota.

"Hey!" Gisselle said "when is Juha gonna get those working phones!"

"He says any electronics protected by lead or a 'faraday cage' should work"

"I bet Aizen's thought of this too"

"That means Aizen can call reinforcements from the mainland!"

"Juha says he won't" Gisselle said

"Why?"  
"Because Aizen is doing something horrendously illegal, Meninas!" Gisselle snapped "who calls the police just because someone is trying to rob the same bank as you?"

"…oh" Meninas said. Tier would have stuck around to listen to their argument but there were more pressing issues at hand. Aizen was more the type to phone the police and pretend to be an innocent bystander whilst the police and other robbers shoot it out he sneaks in back and robs the bank and everyone is left none the wiser.

She legged it out the door grabbing her guns as she went and hilariously the two girls never even noticed her. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket. She had been put in a lead lined fridge…the EMP's effect didn't touch her phone. She hoped someone's phone still worked. She dialled Apache…no service.

She stared at her phone. No bars. "Govno!" She said before hopping into a car and trying to hotwire it… it didn't start. "Who's fucking idea was it to EMP this goddamn island!?" She sighed "no worries…I'll just need to get a new solenoid from somewhere…and battery…and spark plug"

Tier jumped when her phone rang…she looked at it, unknown number and her signal was still empty. "Uh…hello?" She said answering it.

"How's my darling replacement doing" came Nel's voice

"How are you able to phone me?"

"I have access to the Oken" Nel said "I can divert the Hawaiian Cell towers to provide for Rukon…but don't tell anyone I'm making everyone think there is no signal"

"Why?"

"Fuck you, that's why" Nel said "Anyway, you wish to leave this island with your buddies alive you're probably gonna have to do what I say right now"

"What's that?"  
"I have a slight plan but I can't do it when Barragan and Starrk are floating around out there"

"If you want me to get rid of them I must say you're sorely mistaken" Tier said

"Tia…can I called you Tia?"  
"No"

"Tia I want you to get Bambietta Basterbine and I'd hurry because Starrk is already on his way"

"Why should I rescue that Biksa?"  
"Oh…there was me thinking you needed my help" Nel said "if you help I'll tell you where there are working cars. Although most got used in that epic car chase"

"What car chase?"

"All the way across the island the Stern Ritter and Army chased those poor Kotowari's" Nel said "surprisingly not one of them was killed, a dangerous bunch they are"  
"Where are the cars and I'll rescue this chick" Tier said

"Ah, you're a gem Tia"  
"Only my friends call me Tia"

"Am I not your friend?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like you"

"Ouch" Nel said "never the less… you've seen AVP enemy of my enemy is my friend"

"Maybe so" Tier said "but I don't trust you"

"You seem to have me down as some deplorable girl who just betrays everyone"

"I thought you wanted me to make haste" Tier said

"Oh yeah" Nel said

"I thometimes get thide-tracked…" Nel coughed "I mean side-tracked"

"Okay" Tier said raising an eyebrow

"The closest working car is on… Ochita 74th"

"What is it?"

"Dark blue '67 Mustang"

"Okay"

"I'd also doubly hurry because people will soon be thinking my warning was a hoax despite the nuke going off in the sky a few hours ago"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Tier said. "Where is this Basterbine girl?"

"She should be just discovering her father's dead body in her manor" Nel said "and being cornered by some luchador wannabe"

"I'm on my way"

"Goodie" Nel said "I always had a thing for blondes you know"  
"Let me just stop you right there" Tier said

"I could give you a lap dance, I'm a killer with a pole"  
"Bye" Tier said hanging up. She sighed and shook her head "Insufferable, no wonder Nnoitra hit her over the head"

Jogging around the block she came onto 74th street. Glancing down alleyways and side streets she eventually stopped when she noticed a car covered with a strange tarp. It seemed to be a piece of canvas with metal lining it. "Nel must've known the EMP was coming and stashed Faraday protected cars all over the city…damn that's smart"  
She whipped the canvas off and tried the door. It was open, she sat in the driver's seat and plucked a note off of the steering wheel…

_If you're reading this note either you're stealing this car or I've told you take it if you've been allowed to take it the glove box will be open and the keys are inside. There is also three grand…_

Tier opened the glove box and pulled out the keys. She ignored the money. She'll pick that up later. She wondered where the Tres Bestias were, had they left the island or were they still here. Apache had her Apache and was likely to do something rash if she discovered Aizen's betrayal.

She put the car into gear after starting it. She knew where this Basterbine girl lived, she should be there in no time.

***Change***

"Yoruichi come back!" Renji shouted after her. "Someone stop her, she's gonna get herself killed". Yoruichi could barely hear him she was numb, the ache of loss pushing her down like a million tonne weight on her shoulders. The only thing that kept her moving was the sheer determination of rescuing Soifon.

"Yoruichi-san" Kisuke said keeping pace beside her

"Say something I wanna hear or get lost" Yoruichi said not even looking at him. She was going around the base to the back; their motion sensors and thermal imaging were all out of commission so sneaking was easy, in fact the US Army were almost useless without all their gizmos and toys.

"It's important but I doubt you want to hear it"

"Explain"

"Think about it" Urahara said "how is Aizen able to use a teleporter in a highly disturbed atmosphere?"

"What do you mean?"  
"Teleportation requires massive amounts of electrical discharge, I still can't think of a way to get people to teleport close to a power station or whilst an EMP is still active"  
"He teleported, you saw!" Yoruichi said

"Do you know what Kyoka Suigetsu is?"

"I remember something about peaches…wait!" Yoruichi stared at him "I smelt it before Soifon was kidnapped"  
"Exactly" Urahara said "It's a hallucinogen it's primary focus is the colour blue, if someone is wearing blue clothes no one will notice them, they'll just kind of disappear" Kisuke said "also the brain makes things up to try to explain what it just saw, if you don't know you're hallucinating you'll make up some bizarre story about teleportation and the more people who saw it the more people will believe it, it's called Mass Hysteria"

"But if we can't notice blue then what was the flash?"  
"That's because we were _forced_ to see blue and you remember how it felt" He said. Yoruichi nodded, typical Aizen using a trick so cheap and dirty people would think a mere ant was a god.

"Are you coming?" Yoruichi said crouching by the fence and snipping wires with bolt cutters.

"I guess" Kisuke said "nothing better to do whilst Kukaku gets Mugetsu ready"

"What's that?"  
"Doesn't matter" Urahara said hiding his eyes with his hat.

"Don't fuck with me" Yoruichi said turning back to the fence. She snipped a few more links and kicked the snipped links away. She slipped through and crouched behind a vehicle of some kind. Damn it, Yoruichi thought shaking her head. She was losing her grip. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Have you completed your teleporter?"

"Pretty much" Urahara said "I just need to calibrate it…why?"

"We may need it" Yoruichi said "if Aizen gets dug in we'll just teleport into the room"

"Pretty dangerous there" Urahara said

"You know me" Yoruichi said "you don't become the best by doing what people have done already"

Staying low she snuck up behind a soldier standing guard. Most of the fighting had died down. As most of the allies fell back for a proper rest but that just meant the enemy could counter attack…except they didn't. She quickly grabbed the man into a sleeper hold and dragged him behind the car again. She ripped his clothes off and put them on over the top of hers.

Once she was convinced she looked like an actual soldier she stood up and took note of her rank. "I would have to get a Private" She muttered to Urahara who'd done the same as her and now was dressed as a Major. "Take point" She said to him.

"Come on" He said walking forward. He was a damn good actor; he even seemed to walk like a major. Yoruichi stumbled along behind him trying to pull off the first time conflict seeing new recruit.

"Hi there" Urahara said saluting the door guards as he walked past. Yoruichi smiled at them as she walked past.

"Stop that" Urahara said as they walked inside the base.

"What?"  
"Don't smile"

"Why?"

"Because you're in a base full of men and you're a woman, men remember women" He said "if they notice you're a hottie they'll realise they've never seen you before and coin you as an intruder"

"Oh… "Yoruichi said "We should've planted some bombs around to throw the base into chaos and get the rest of us to begin proper siege rather than this weak display of military prowess"

"You realise it's mostly ex-gangsters, delinquents and general riff-raff that this Army is made out of, and our plan is incredibly ill-thought out"

"How so?"

"The EMP?" Urahara said

"It was a good idea at the time" Yoruichi said "but we should've protected our stuff too"

They turned a few corners and came to a desk with two girls sitting behind it. One was black haired and the other was blonde "Howdy" the black haired one said "Anything happened yet?"

"Nope" Urahara said "I need to speak with Aizen"

The blonde narrowed her eyes "why?"

"We have extensive knowledge that those rebels are planning a large multi sided attack in order to stretch our forces thin"

"I'll tell him…goodbye" She said. Urahara sighed and with a sudden movement he grabbed her head and slammed it into the keyboard of her computer sending the keys flying everywhere. The other one pulled a pistol out. Yoruichi grabbed her arm and pulled her over the desk and punched her. She was unconscious before she even hit the ground.

"That's better" Urahara said. Yoruichi smiled and pulled her helmet off.

"It's been a while since we've done something like this" Yoruichi said

"Brings back some memories that's for sure" Urahara said. She would have reminisced more but Soifon's socked face kept flashing through her mind, it just wasn't the time or place to have fun.

Keeping her movements slow and precise she put her hand on the doorknob. Kisuke took a crouched position on the opposite side of the doorframe. "On three" She whispered "one…two…" She twisted the doorknob and took a deep breath. "Three"

They both burst in pointing their guns. Yoruichi frowned where there was no Soifon, no Lei and most certainly no Aizen. Only some Gothic Lolita wannabe sitting with her feet up on the desk. "They're gone" She said "so you're gonna have to start playing by my rules, right?" She said

"Wrong" Yoruichi said she fired her gun once and with a splattering of blood the woman was thrown back with her stripy legging clad legs comically sticking up. Yoruichi didn't find it funny though, not seeing Soifon just made her number. "C'mon" she said curtly to Kisuke "they couldn't have got far"

"That was icy" he said looking back at the dead woman

"As I recall you did the same thing to Nel when Jinta and Ururu were threatened"  
"I suppose you're right" Kisuke said shrugging "I guess we just aren't the right people to play games with"  
"I suspect you're right" Yoruichi said. She turned and walked away picking up her helmet as she went.

Outside one of the biggest explosions she'd ever felt threw her from her feet and smashed all glass in the perimeter. The glow from the fire lit up the room changing the colour from a clinical yellow to a demonic orange. "Yamamoto has started Ryuujin Jakka" He said "You should've told him we were going in, we'll be incinerated!"  
"We'll have to hurry" Yoruichi said standing back up. That old coot! Why did all the 'nam vets think Napalm was the best solution!

***Change***

Lei glanced back at the base as a massive column of fire erupted out of it "What's that?" He said  
"Napalm" Aizen said. They all sat inside a luxury limousine that was bullet proof and kept in a completely germ free anti-static environment to keep it in pristine condition. Lei sat between Gin and Senju. Soifon drooled slightly on the floor Aizen sat slightly away from them as if he thought himself to be above them in every sense of the word. Lei knew this'd be his own undoing, no matter who you were…there was always someone who could and would kill you if they wanted to.

He scowled at Soifon who seemed to have a muscle reflex problem and kept punching his shin in her comatose state. It hurt quite a lot now. At the beginning they'd really just wanted to toughen Soifon up, she couldn't be the little sister of the badass Feng bothers if she didn't know how to kick an arse! After a while the power they had over her started to get into their heads and before they knew it they were no longer helping her but hindering her. It was her own fault for being weak however.

"What now?" Senju said "I hate to say but it seems like we're running away"  
"That's because we are" Aizen said "I may be immortal but I'd rather not test just _how_ immortal yet whilst the advanced Hierro steroid is still bubbling away in my system"

"Oh…" Senju stared blankly

"Nevertheless" Aizen said "we're heading to my building in Karakura, I want the TV's up and running so we can really crush Miss Shihouin's spirit" he prodded Soifon with his foot. Lei found it strangely offensive. Did he have pride for his underweight, scrawny, lesbian little sister? Of course! Yoruichi have to have done something right in life to bag a hottie like Yoruichi Shihouin. "You're not as chatty today, Gin" Aizen said. The silver haired man seemed slightly lost in thought.

"Ah, never mind me" Gin said reserving himself to his normal snake-like sneer. "Just thinkin' about life and how Scar was always the best Disney villain"

"I agree" Aizen said leaning back on his seat "make haste Zommari, do you think we'll be pulled over or something?"

"Problem is" Came a sharp voice "Zommari is a little cut up at the moment" the dark partition wall rolled down and Zommari's severed head was tossed in back. Lei grabbed for his gun but the partition was rolled back up with a grin from the attractive blonde driver. Aizen barely flinched in fact he seemed slightly amused, like watching mere mice trying to take down a tiger. "Don't waste your time, Lei" he said "The glass is bullet proof"

"So are you" Lei said

"What would your point be?" Aizen said

"Meaning that you've essentially abandoned us right" Lei said "I'm surprised you've stuck with us all this time"  
"Nonsense" Aizen said smiling "a god doesn't busy himself with the trifles of mortals; he gets someone else to do it for him"

"Where are we going!?" Senju said banging on the partition  
"The Government building of course" came the playful voice from the driver seat

"I don't like this" Lei said "we've been kidnapped whilst kidnapping someone, Soifon has been doubly kidnapped, Kidnap-ception!""

"Shit!" came the Blonde's voice and then everything seemed to erupt into chaos. The car was thrown with tremendous force. The entire car seemed to bend and buckle. The bulletproof windows shattered and Lei was granted full view of the front grill of an eighteen wheeler's engine. "Fuck!" He shouted trying to stop himself being sucked under the massive tires of the lorry. Senju wasn't so lucky. The spinning tire caught his face and ripped flesh and muscle from his body splattering blood everywhere. His silly cap flying of his head as it did.

Soifon luckily rolled out of the way and the car eventually stopped. Even Aizen seemed a little upset by the big rig smashing into them. "Urgh" he groaned

"Well, that was distressing" Aizen muttered opening his door. Lei sat dazed by what had just happened. The Feng family was getting smaller by the day. Gin coughed and sighed.  
"Same shit…different day" he muttered

Lei eventually pulled himself from the wreckage to see Aizen causally holding up the Stern Ritter member who'd crashed into them by the throat. "Now" Aizen said "that wasn't very nice"

"You don't scare me Aizen" The man said "They call me the Overkill"

"Called"

"What?" He said

"They called you the overkill, past tense"  
"I don't…" with a crunch Aizen broke his neck with a simple jerk of his wrist. He tossed the dead man who went at least fifty metres before landing heavily on the street and skidding another few feet.

"Distasteful" Aizen muttered "I hope that big rig is still drivable"

"It is" Gin said from the driver's seat. He reversed it off the car.

"Go and pick up Shaolin and kill that nincompoop in the driver's seat" he said

"Okay" Lei said. He scowled as he turned. He always hated killing hot chicks; they were for fucking…not killing! He walked around to the steering wheel and opened the door and frowned at the empty seat. "She's done a runner!" Lei said

"How aggravating" Aizen said nonchalantly. Lei shook his head and opened the only undamaged passenger seat and looked in. Soifon wasn't there either… "Crafty bitch" He said "you don't think she planned it do you?" He said to Aizen.

"Likely making the best of a bad situation" Aizen said "Nothing to bother about"

"Okay"

"Starrk should be going in for the kill, wiping out Yamamoto's two generals and Barragan…well who knows what he's doing"

"What about…our little helper?" Lei said

"Kukaku Shiba is their target, it's getting her alone that's proving a problem, and Kenpachi Zaraki watches her like she's his mother" He turned and jumped in the Big Rig with Gin and drove off leaving Lei standing scowling after the lorry. He stuck up his middle finger and said

"Fuck you too…arsehole"

***Change***

"Damn it" Soifon heard someone say "I saw the opportunity and I took it, I didn't expect that ape to try and ram me!"

"Never mind" came Nel's soft voice "At least we managed to rescue Soifon from Aizen, which removes his vice grip on Yoruichi and Urahara"

"Rise and shine" Candice said looking into Soifon's eyes. She rubbed her eyes to remove the blurriness.

"Like a night after a bad taco" Soifon groaned rolling over. Her cheeks reddened when she realised she had her head resting on Nel's thigh and just rolled and put her face right into her groin. She sat up quickly and looked away from Nel's inquisitive eyes.

"But still" Candice paced with crossed arms "we missed our sacrifice turn"

"We can still use it at a later date" Nel said not removing her eyes from Soifon's.

"What were you guys planning?" Soifon said "it seemed like suicide"

"I was suicide fool" Candice snapped

"You know who's on our trail right?"

"Who?" Soifon said

"Barragan" Nel said "He's been catching up to us for a while; perhaps I should give it a try for number two Espada"

"But he can slow time" Soifon said

"Who cares" Candice said "He's not a god, he's a man, and men make mistakes"  
"Let's not stand on ceremony, don't you know…" Nel stood up letting her hair blow in the breeze exposing the number three on her back "it's rude to keep the elderly waiting"

For the first time she looked around. They sat in some kind of park. Soifon hadn't been to Karakura before so she had no idea where she was. "I've already called Yoruichi"

"Barragan Vs Me, you, Candice and Yoruichi…a bit unfair"

"He'll have his buddies with him" Nel said "and Yoruichi isn't here yet"

Through the trees a group of men emerged. Soifon stood up and prepared. None of them seemed to have brought a gun with them. "Looks like it's a rumble" Candice said crossing her arms. "A rag tag team indeed"

"Let's just get rid of these mooks and prepare to take down Aizen and Juha"  
"How do you intend to get rid of the Stern Ritter guy anyway, if you die you won't be able to do so"  
"Fufufu" Nel chided "don't try to comprehend my godly gears…speaking of which"

Yoruichi jogged toward them. She seemed relieved, more relieved than she'd ever seen in fact. She grabbed Soifon into a tight hug, "I thought you'd gone!" She said pulling her suffocatingly into her chest.

"Glad you could make it" Candice said glancing back at her "now for Barragan"

The god of 'Heuco Mundo', which was the nickname for the Spanish mafia underworld that operated all over the Polynesian islands smuggling drugs and women all over the world stepped forward. "I could easily get good prices for all you women" Barragan said "I'd even tried to get Ggio to give you over before this whole thing dropped, luckily for you he was greedy, wanted you all to himself, now he's gone"  
"You've killed him?" Soifon said raising an eyebrow

"No" Barragan said glancing at a very large man "get rid of them, I'm going to enjoy this meadow, in my old age you have to enjoy the lighter things in life". He pulled out a loaf of bread and began absentmindedly tossing crumbs for ducks. Yoruichi smirked and looked up at the giant man.

"I like kicking big guys like you to the curb"

"Uh…we're on grass" He said. Yoruichi grinned and walked forward.

***Change***

Bambietta had to admit…she wasn't as sad as she thought she'd be. Her father lay dead, broken neck from Stern Ritter 'S' who was now posing, he hadn't even noticed her and Hanataro. She decided to cut her losses and back out the room. At the last second he turned and noticed her. "Ah shit" She muttered "Hanataro, I know your leg is sore but can you go to my room and under my bed there is a bag, be _very _careful with it"

"O-Okay" He said before hopping out the door. She stood with her arms crossed between Mask and the door

"You've become quite cocky, little one" He said

"I'm fuckin buzzing, bitch" She said grinning. She stopped and her eyes widened and her cheeks turned scarlet

"Have you swallowed a pachinko whole or something?" He said

"No…I just remembered I left my…device under the bed too"

"What device is this?"

"Never you mind!" She snapped

"I'm not going to wait for waif boy to return" He said before jumping and trying to clothesline her. She easily stepped underneath the attack but didn't bother trying to punch him, she was just a little girl and he was a pro hand to hand combatant…it'd be useless.

"Quick!" He said jumping back up and aiming a drop kick for her which she nimbly dodged. She picked up a vase and threw it at him. Smashing over his head it had no effect whatsoever. She grabbed a TV remote and hurled it at him; it too bounced off his head in a comical fashion with no effect. Failing this she picked up the TV and threw it as well. "Argh" she groaned as pain seared up her wrist. The doctor told her to refrain from heavy lifting…and fighting luchadors. This time he actually moved to dodge the flat screen smart TV. Hanataro hopped back in with the bag and she jumped over a sofa and grabbed it. She noted Hanataro's scarlet cheeks…this was going to be awkward later.

"You're in trouble now" She said pulling a bow from the bag.

"A bow?" He said

"Yes" She replied she pulled one of the 'arrows' out. It was actually an incendiary device that she may or may not have gained inspiration for from Rambo. She quickly notched an Arrow and drew it back. He froze and stared at her. She released and at the last moment he ducked underneath the whizzing arrow. When it struck the clean white wall it exploded vaporizing most of the back side of the living room. Leaving a large hole outside. She scowled and notched another. "Get back a little" She said to Hanataro whilst backing up herself. "If you've ever played Modern Warfare Two you'll know that with 'Noobtubes' you always aim near the person not directly at them in case they strafe and dodge"

Pointed the arrow at the wall next to him and released. He dived again this time managing to flip a table in measly attempt at blocking the blast, but she didn't waste time and before he even realised it another arrow struck him square in the forehead. The blast blew his entire body into nothingness…along with most of the living room. "Easy kills" Bambietta said flicking her raven hair. Hanataro stared at her. "What?" She said

"Y-You're scary"  
"You've just figured this out now?"

Before Bambietta had time to realise what was happening her body's control gave out with a searing pulse of electricity through her. "Dearie me" Said that poncy dick bag Quilge walking through the door Taser in hand. Hanataro barley had time to turn before he was backhanded off his feet. He landed awkwardly on his knee and screamed in pain. Bambietta fumed and tried to grab for an arrow.

He kicked her hand away and sat on the ruined couch. "Quite the little harlot" Quilge said "I saw some of your vids, not as bad as some people make them out to be, only managing a minute before gagging is pathetic"

"I try not to make a habit of shit like that" Bambietta groaned rolling to face him

"Still" Quilge said "I can't complain much, you don't get many girls with your looks doing stuff like that, it's not my taste per se but some of the guys at the prison are into that stuff so I couldn't help but notice you though Juha has deemed you a slightly unnecessary dorsal in our streamlining"

"Quit the fucking fancy speak you scone" Bambietta said

"Did…you just call me a…scone?"  
"Did you not hear me?" She said "The Hitler haircut block your hearing?"

"Enough of that" He said stomping on her ribs. She choked and coughed as her lungs were forced to contract as her ribs bent under the force of the kick.

With a flash of brilliant yellow hair Quilge was thrown back by someone diving onto him "Candice?" She said trying to get a better look at the saviour. She was kicked back and Bambietta got a good look at her face. Quite a nice Caribbean look she was going for with the blue tattoos on her face 8.5 out of 10 she thought.

With a wide-eyed notion she realised this woman was one of the Espada, the only proper pictures of her he had a collar up hiding her lower face. The woman took two jumps back and grabbed two Glock 18's that were on holsters by her hips. Quilge noticed this and ran for cover as she fired the exceptionally loud hail of fully automatic gunfire. Her powerful arms kept the shitty recoil under perfect control.

"Prekratit' dvizheniye" She muttered as the magazines slid out of the bottoms of both pistols in perfect unison. She slid two more in and with a click she cocked them "run away" she said to Bambietta.

"He's going around" Bambietta said.

The woman opened her mouth to reply but Quilge spectacularly burst through the plasterboard wall and grabbed the woman's arms sending one hail of bullets dangerously close to her darling Hanataro and the other peppering the ceiling. There was a loud clang and the heat seared all around her. With a worried throat Bambietta realised The Third Espada must've hit something in her bomb making workshop upstairs. The floor gave way and fire roared. "chto za chert?" She shouted.

"I don't speak Russian you bitch!" Bambietta shouted "Kick him back" She said grabbing her bow.

She pushed him back and drop kicked him further. He stumbled and whilst he fought for balance Bambietta loosed the arrow. Striking him another horrific fleshy explosion blew The Espada back. "Whoa!" She wailed struggling to stand up "sumasshedshaya suka!"

"Boom…motherfucker" Bambietta said laughing. She stopped when more of the flaming ceiling gave way.

"Hanataro get up! We. Are. Leaving!" She grabbed him. Half dragging half carrying him she rushed out of her flaming home. It was almost as if her old life was burning away, she smiled as she turned back and watched the old family home burn. All she had now was Hanataro and it was much more than she'd ever had and most certainly much more than she deserved.

"What the hell was that supposed to be!?" The Espada yelled grabbing her

"Who are you anyway!?" Bambietta demanded smacking her hand

"Tia….Tier Harribel" She said "Ex-Espada and currently an agent working for The Mastermind"

"Candice?"

"And Nel yes"

"I see" Bambietta glanced at the burning house and then to her car "where to next?"

"I don't know" Tier said "I've only been following Neliel's instructions"

"This is usually when they phone…" Bambietta said listening expectantly

"…I think we have to figure this one out for ourselves" Tier said "perhaps we should go back to Karakura and aide Yamamoto's invasion of Aizen's compound"  
"No" Bambietta said "Ukitake said I wasn't allowed there, it'd cause too much confusion"

"What then?"

"Perhaps we should raid Aizen's government building?"

"Why?"

"Never know what we might find" Bambietta said "plus there is a hospital nearby and I wanna get Hanataro some help"

"You don't look too good yourself" Tier said walking toward the car

"Don't mind me I've only had the best sex of my life, an awesome prom, almost been raped, and fought a baseball bat wielding juggernaut, a crazy luchador and a sociopathic prison warden"

"Much the same as him I assume" Tier said as Bambietta carefully put an unconscious Hanataro in the back seat.

"Besides the rape" Bambietta said "Chauffeur! To Aizen-Sama's joint!"

"This'll be fun" She muttered sitting in the driver's seat and turning the key. She froze. Bambietta stared at her, confused. "What?"

"It's…" She stared

"Who?" She looked in the direction she was looking. A brown haired man stood staring lazily at them. If Bambietta didn't know any better she would guess he'd let them go.

"It's him, it's him, it's him, it's him" Tier said as if she was trying to convince herself otherwise.

"Who's he?" Bambietta said  
"Espada, number one" A man said looking the car.

"Waah!" Bambietta squealed recoiling back. "What the hell are you playing at!?" She demanded once she'd realised it was only that guy from the Kotowari centre.

"Apologies Bestiality Girl" he said tipping the brim of his straw hat

"Beast…" She stared at him "leave it"

"You look after Hanataro" He said "or I'll kill you" he added with a scary look in his eyes.

"Whatever" She said hiding her intimidation behind a nonchalant look.

"Come now, Kyoraku" said the white haired ambassador between her and the rest of the Kotowari centre. He walked beside the opposite end of the car.

"It took us a while to track you down…Starrk"

"I didn't think I was that elusive, if I did I would have hid somewhere 'till this whole thing was over"

"That may be so" Kyoraku said walking forward, her pink flowery kimono flowing in the breeze. Bambietta felt herself go into a cold sweat, how could a man wearing a woman's kimono be so terrifying?

"I suggest you leave before things get nasty" Ukitake said looking in the window. "How did you escape, Harribel?"

"The Stern Ritter unwittingly did so" She replied

"Alright" He said "Aizen is at the Government building, perhaps you should go and help Yamamoto take him down"

"S'pose" She shrugged "I'll need to get Hana to a medic of some kind"  
"Unohana is there too, she'll help"

"What makes you think I'll let you leave?" Starrk said drawing his pistol. He fired once at Kyoraku who with an amazingly fast movement drew one of his two swords. With a small sounding ping the bullet was sliced in two and soared either side of him

"I'm get out of here" Harribel said reversing. Performing a well-timed J-turn she accelerated down the road keeping the Mustang's power under control. "I like this car" She said

"So…"Bambietta said looking back at the fight which had disappeared into the burning house...which seemed a little dangerous "to war again"

***Change***

"We'll really need to figure out this traitor" Kukaku said looking at Kenpachi. He shrugged. Only Yamamoto, Unohana, Ryo and Shaozu followed Aizen to his building, most fell back to Seireitei to get a rest before aiding them. A few sat in Kukaku's dark bar drinking warm beer.

"Some people think it's…" Kenpachi nodded toward Grimmjow who sat with his buddies who all looked rather out of it.

"Pour us a cold one, Kukaku" Shinji said with his normal grin.

"I'm not so sure about a cold one" Kukaku chuckled "It's gonna get dark again and by then the power will return"

"I know" Shinji said. He scowled when Ginjo came by the bar.

"Shinji" He said smiling slightly "long time, no see" with a swift movement Shinji grabbed him

"I don't know what your game is you bastard but I'm watching you"

"Hey, leave the fighting for the enemies" Kukaku said narrowing her eyes. She was, now, very curious about why Ginjo and Shinji didn't like each other.

Kukaku sighed and told Kenpachi to take over the bar for a few minutes. She must consult the 'library'. She walked upstairs and then tugged a drawstring in the hallway. The ceiling opened up and a ladder slid down. She nimbly climbed up, a motion she'd been doing almost five or six times every week.

In the loft area was a little bookshelf with sixty-four diaries on it. These Sixty-Four diaries are by a hefty margin the most expensive books in the world, the secrets in just one of them could crush nations, topple tyrants and ruin careers. It's likely she could sell each for a few billion at least and even then the person that got it could still profit from it, with bank account details for Bill Gates in here and enough dirt to blackmail the entire of Silicon Valley.

She picked up one that said 'Military' on it. Flicking through she searched for any mention of the Visored or Xcution. She must've done her research but so much stuff went through her daily it was impossible to remember it all.

"Ah" She said coming to a whole section about them:

_The Visored are a splinter cell of a military organisation called Xcution which are basically black-black-ops they are the toppest of top secrets. Visored status is: Inactive. Reason why Visoreds broke off: betrayal. They were sold down by the commander Ginjo who works directly under the President but is known to take orders from…_

Kukaku nearly dropped the book as her eyes widened:

_Sosuke Aizen._

There was a click behind her. Turning slightly she found herself staring down the barrel of a silenced .45. "Quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into" he said

"I try" Kukaku said. She was quite worried to say the least, after she lost her arm she rarely trained to fight, at her level she was next to useless.

"Goodnight" He said and squeezed the trigger. Kukaku closed her eyes as the faint pop echoed through the room.

She frowned when she realised she hadn't been hit. Looking up she saw Kugo's arm had been pushed up by…Isshin? "Uncle?" She said staring at him.

"Howdy" Isshin said smiling. "In Isshin Kurosaki's super rule book there are three things you don't do. One: You don't eat beans and mashed potato separate, you mix them together and then eat, Two: anyone who gives PC gaming credence over console gaming may be right, however they are still wrong and Three…" He gave Kugo a dark look "you don't try and harm one of the women of my family"

"I do apologise" He said "but Aizen knows the true meaning of power"  
"Let me guess" Isshin said "money?"

"How did you guess?" Kugo smirked. Without missing a beat Isshin pulled the gun from his grip and fired but unfortunately by the time he'd got it Kugo had dived down he hole and was halfway down stairs. "Damn" He said watching him "I've never seen anyone haul ass like that"

"Let's not waste time" Kukaku said "everyone needs the info that Xcution are traitors"

"I'll head toward Yoruichi" Isshin said

"Why?" Kukaku said. His cheeks reddened slightly

"Oh yeah…a few babes"

"I-It's not that" he yelled

"Okay" Kukaku said smiling "once you've met up with them take them to Aizen and help Yama-ji"

"Where'll you go?"

"I'll get Kenpachi to go to Kyoraku who headed off to the Basterbine Manor and I'll finish preparations for the Kakaku Ho"

"There's something I haven't heard of for a while" He said "Ichigo and the guy who'd built Mugetsu are dismantling it so we can get it out of the cellar"

"I know" Kukaku said "once that is done we'll need to get Aizen in the open and then hit him with the magnetic…damn it the more I think about it the more impossible it seems"

"This is Ichigo we're talking about…since when does he mess up anything?"

Kukaku groaned and put her head in her hands.

***Change***

Soifon wiped sweat from her forehead and stared at Barragan who was completely unharmed. She and Yoruichi had been giving it their all for at least half an hour and he was blocking and dodging every attack with ease. It was freaky! He just seemed to move faster than time itself, she knew it was the device but… it was so unfair!

"I've got an idea" Yoruichi said "Candice!" She shouted at the girl who was rather sadistically twisting one of Barragan's men's arms.

"Deal a hand"

"Three on one?"

"I fold" Candice said

"Do it!" Nel said

"On it" Candice abandoned her toy and joined them.

"Only listen to your squeeze then?" Yoruichi said scowling

"Naturally" Candice muttered "she's prettier than you, Barbie Doll!"

"You're not gonna keep calling me that?" Yoruichi said. She didn't stop and listen to Candice's scathing reply. Running forward she jumped high aiming a kick for his head which was easily blocked. Candice went low and Soifon went in from the left. Candice managed to successfully tackle him off his feet and Nel, Yoruichi and Soifon all looked down at him.

"I feel I'm in slight trouble" Barragan noted

"Oh yeah" Yoruichi said grinning. No such scary torture was ensued only a sharp gunshot. Being held in place by Candice he couldn't dodge. Nel stood casually with a smoking gun in her hands.

"That was more frustrating than it should've been" Nel said shaking her head

"We've missed it again" Candice said

"Damn it!" Nel said shaking her head

"Why must you sacrifice yourself!?" Yoruichi snapped grabbing Nel's hand as she turned to walk away.

"Being the number three Espada makes sacrifice very much my business"

"I need you, Nel" Yoruichi said "You and Candice are the best fighters here, also in the best condition"

"We'll have to see" Nel said "Aizen's fall will only depend on him becoming over confident"  
"And you think you need to die to do this?" Candice said "I heard him when I was in the car…he's already over confident"

"Maybe so" Nel said.

"Ladies!" someone yelled diving through the bushes

"Shit" Yoruichi said

"Oh man" Nel turned and looked for an escape route. The man ran over waving maniacally.

"Who's this square?" Candice said

"Ichigo's dad" Yoruichi said.

"Yoruichi!" He said "We've got some super dangerous information!"  
"What's happened?" She said

"Xcution have betrayed us…well they never worked with us to begin with so…" he shrugged

"Damn" Yoruichi said sighing. Soifon looked at her and said

"What now?"

"I think we need to get some food and then go after Aizen"

Soifon nodded. Now the veil was lifting for the final fight. All the battles were finishing and the Espada and Stern Ritter were failing, victory was in sight! How would their victory be decided? She didn't know but hopefully none of her friends would be killed.

***Change***

One word about a possible rescue of Soifon and Yoruichi ditched him…Kisuke sighed as he walked down the deserted streets. He was fairly certain Aizen would flee to the Government Building and Yamamoto would follow so that's where he was heading.

Tedious affair, war was. Kisuke clipped away with his sandals on deep in thought. Jinta and Ururu were safe in Hawaii with someone Urahara trusted,, out of the way Sojun and Byakuya must be trying to get rid of Haschwald by now. Yamamoto, Yoruichi, Ryo and the others must be closing in on Aizen if Yoruichi gotten Soifon back. Kukaku should lead a massive wave attack with Grimmjow and Kenpachi which should be enough to get rid of Aizen but it won't be so easy. Especially with loose cannons on the board like Bambietta and Nel.

He stepped out of the way of someone walking the opposite direction. "Not safe out here" Urahara said absentmindedly.

"No safe anywhere, really" he replied not turning. Urahara watched him. That accent… that was the same as Soifon's. The man never seemed to realise and continued walking. Suddenly a car sped around the corner and pulled to a stop beside him. The Chinese man still walked ignoring what had happened.

"Hey!" Bambietta shouted at Urahara "You're one of those Kotowari cats right?"

"Yes" Urahara noticed Hanataro and Tier Harribel; slightly curious he ignored the man and turned to them "Where are you going?"

"Getting Hanataro to the medic woman and then heading out to get rid of old Aizen"

"Mind if I hitch a ride?" He said

"Sure" She said

He jumped in back carefully moving Hanataro who had an untreated compound fracture. "So" Bambietta said to Tier "continue"

"Uh…" She said trying to remember what she was saying "Yes there are many things woman with your disposition can do to keep your sanity, have you ever tried burlesque?"

"Burlesque?" Bambietta said as Tier pulled away.

"It's quite full of inequity but still very much legal and you get lots of attention"  
"I may think about it" She said "figure skating did it for a while but that got boring and then I got contacted by that creepy Greek from that website and…well"

"I see" Tier said "attention is a bad drug to get addicted to"  
"Hmm" Bambietta said

"You don't mind explaining how it happened?" Tier said

"Well…" Bambietta thought for a few moments "I guess it started when my mother and father split up. My mother was seduced by Yoruichi back when she was a party girl, she got into that lifestyle too and eventually got divorced and OD'd on Heroin or Ecstasy or maybe both at the same time" she sighed "I blamed Yoruichi most of the time and took it out on Soifon but I suppose I should blame both my mother and father. Mother for being a weak slave to her emotions and my father for being a workaholic who didn't give a rat's ass about mother or me for that matter. Once I got older I started to crave attention, my father gave me none and I was grateful for anyone who'd listen to my story…I'd always wanted to be a writer but of course most of my stories were based on my life so I was branded a liar"

"Tough" Tier said turning a corner. Urahara wasn't really interested in her story but it did make her a bit more human.

"After everyone ignored me some more I lost it I guess, like a Radiohead song I drifted into abyss, thought of killing myself a few times but I was too vain for that or maybe not vain enough I don't know. Anyway, you know the rest I got into freaky porn and got my ass kicked by Soifon more times than I can remember. I loved it, I never had myself pegged as a masochist but it was damn fun being smashed into the ground. Except when Yoruichi did it. I was scared then, I thought she was gonna kill me"

"I heard once that you were Momo's friend" Urahara said

"Don't get me started on her" Bambietta said rubbing her face with her good hand "I fucked up worse on her. She and Candice were my right hand girls and I turned Candice into a manipulative puppetmaster and turned Momo into a cry-baby"

"The crash?" He said

"Yeah" Bambietta said "Momo's parents had just died, me and her were at their wake and I thought it was a brilliant idea to steal a Viper, so we did I let her drive and she crashed, straight off a bridge"

"That's why an ex-rich girl was in the Kotowari centre"  
"Yeah" Bambietta said "poor bitch, she'd never hurt a fly" Urahara remembered seeing Momo shooting down Motoi with Toshiro and raised an eyebrow. They turned another corner and came to a group of maybe twenty people walking down the road. Stopping Tier stared at them.

"It's allies" Urahara said watching Yoruichi and Soifon turn and wave…well on Yoruichi waved, Soifon looked slightly peaky.

He jumped out the car. Bambietta and Hanataro were starting to stink a little. "So this is it" Yoruichi said smiling at him "the last stand"

"What's she doing here!?" Soifon snapped at Bambietta. She raised her arms and said

"Tabula Rasa"

"So?" Soifon said "I still don't like you"  
"Well Gisselle and Meninas are your enemies now and I think I may the only person who knows enough about them to defeat them"

"What makes you so sure"  
"Because I do!" Bambietta then turned and completely ignored Soifon as Unohana pulled a pained looking Hanataro out of the car. She fussed over him girlishly and Soifon shook her head.

"The time is now, I suppose" Yoruichi said looking around at Yamamoto who looked calmly up at the tall tower that was the Government building. "We intend to enter two ways, one team from the bottom and the other from the building beside and swinging into the thirteenth floor" Yoruichi explained

"I can only guess which one you chose" Urahara muttered "oh hi Nel-san, long time no shoot…uh I mean see"

"Just remember it was me who was playing you" Nel scowled

"Are we doing this?"

"Yeah" She said "Kyoraku and Ukitake have just got back from killing Starrk"

***Change an hour ago***

Ukitake slowed his breathing, the faster he pumped the blood through his veins the quicker he succumbs to his disease. Kyoraku was still playing cat and mouse with Starrk though this burning house. Some of the house was completely undamaged and that's where most of the fight was going on. "Ukitake" Kyoraku said beside him

"Hmm?"

"I'm gonna go around" he said. Starrk had holed himself up in what seemed to be Bambietta's bedroom. It was a nicely decorated place, she obviously used her own stylish touch rather than go with the whole clean cut vapid white the rest of the house was. "Come out!" Starrk said, he'd taken cover behind her bed.  
"No!" Ukitake said "You've got a gun, why would I do that"  
"I dunno" he said "but I'm bored, this girl…she smells quite nice, I might buy Lilynette this perfume, what do you think?" the bottle rolled out of the doorway. Ukitake went to pick it up but at the last second snatched his hand away.

"That was crafty" He said

"Did you nearly fall for it?"

"I must say I did" he replied "I'm getting absentminded in my old age"

The wall exploded a mere inch from his head. "Damn it" Ukitake said crouching and moving. Starrk was a clever man. Ukitake took a chance and ran across the doorway. Narrowly avoiding a few bullets he made it.

"Where are you Kyoraku, we've not got all day!" He muttered. Just inside there was another gunshot and then the familiar 'thwick' of sword meeting flesh. Ukitake peeked through the doorway. Starrk lay dead on Bambietta's bed. Kyoraku nursed a gunshot wound on his shoulder.  
"Humph" Ukitake said "careless"  
"Oh come now" Kyoraku said chuckling "I haven't done this in while"  
"I agree" Ukitake replied. He looked at Starrk. "I almost wonder where someone like him came from"  
"How so?"  
"With that shooting prowess you'd think we'd have heard of someone like him"  
"You know Harribel and Grimmjow, both are very skilled and we'd not heard of them either"

They quickly exited the building before the structural damage from the fire got too extreme. They'd found two bikes and used their superior speed to get across the island in record time, even when they had to take the dirt trail around the Soul Palace because that car chase Rukia had got herself into ruined the tunnel.

Jumping on those same bikes they accelerated away. In the game of war the final play was about to begin and they just had to be on the winning side.

***Change***

Soifon stood with Yoruichi. Kyoraku, Ukitake, Harribel, Nel, Candice, Bambietta, Isshin, Urahara, Unohana, Hanataro, Rukia, Byakuya, Sojun and Komamura, the gardener for Ryuu, Shinji and his crew: Love, Rose, Hachi, Kensei and Lisa, Grimmjow and his crew, Kenpachi, Toshiro, Momo, Hiyori, Mashiro, Nanao, Renji, Shuhei, Kira, Ryo and finally Shaozu all were around them. In front of the group was Yamamoto beside him as ever was…Soifon didn't even remember his name…Sasuke? Sasakibe? "Today we've all gathered" He said. Soifon knew there was gonna be an 'inspirational' speech "And let us pray that we'll never have to do so again as today I toss aside the name 'Kotowari' for a better one"  
"Sorry" Kyoraku muttered to Ukitake who looked more than a little upset.

"I'll pronounce this the entrance of the Gotei 13, only ever to be summoned to dethrone tyrannical leaders and thus there are thirteen squads firstly there is Squad One…Me!" He said daring anyone to argue. "I'll be with Chojiro and Ryo" He grunted something else but Soifon didn't really care what it was "Next there'll be squad two which'll specialise in stealth Yoruichi, Soifon and Shaozu. Miss Shihouin You'll be the captain of this division"

"Mrs" Yoruichi corrected smiling slightly

"Squad Three will be Rose from the Visored along with Kira"

This went on for a while and by the time he was finished Soifon was nearly asleep on her feet. Everyone was divided into their respective teams with Bambietta in squad 1o with Toshiro and Matsumoto and Nel and Candice in squad seven with Komamura.

"Dismissed!" Yamamoto eventually said breaking Soifon from her daydreams. Yoruichi grinned down at her.

"We've got some raiding to do!" She exclaimed showing Soifon some kind of harpoon gun. As darkness started to fall the streetlamps tentatively buzzed to life. A few mutterings later everyone went about their business. "We're doing this with Squad Ten and Seven"

"Toshiro, Matsumoto and Bambietta?"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "say the word and Bambietta's line will break"  
"Not worth it" Soifon said shaking her head "it's slightly pathetic now" she said watching Bambietta who was still fussing over Hanataro. Yoruichi scowled at her and then turned back to Soifon.

"I suppose" She handed Soifon one of the harpoon like guns. "The building we'll be climbing up will be exactly four floors shorter than Aizen's building which means we'll be able to get into his building two floors beneath his office" Yoruichi explained

"Okay" Soifon said taking the gun. "This certainly is…extreme"  
"Besides the car chase and heavy air support attacking you, you mean?"

"Y-yeah" Soifon shrugged.

"Let's go" Toshiro said beside her

"You ready…" Yoruichi grinned at him "Sana Seto?"

"Nepali?" Toshiro said staring at Yoruichi "really?"

"Oh yeah"

"So" Nel said looking from Bambietta to Yoruichi to Komamura "we've all got a bit of history so I don't wanna hear about who did what in the past!" she scowled at Bambietta "now shall we get to it before it gets over fifteen thousand words?"

"What?"

"Never mind"

After half an hour of preparation Soifon crouched with Yoruichi and Toshiro on either side of her. She was rarely up this high and in all the excitement she'd forgotten heights weren't her best feature. She wiped her clammy hands and focused on the building in front of her.

"We're grossly undertrained for this" Candice said passing a half smoked cigarette to Bambietta. She puffed on it a few times and flicked it over the edge.

"Now or never" She said blowing the smoke out

"I wonder if Byakuya is having fun with two ex-Espada in his team." Soifon said looking down at the street. They'd already started their infiltration.

"What's that?" Matsumoto said pointing

"A chopper" Bambietta said aiming with her bow, could she hit it from there? She did have a mean aim with a rubber… The chopper got closer and descended to land on top of Aizen's building. Bambietta and Candice reacted hilariously similar to each other. Both of their eyes widening and mouths dropping open. "It's…Juha"

"Fuckin shoot him!" Candice said.

Bambietta raised the bow again and aimed. She loosed the arrows the chopper lowered. The arrow struck home and the tail of the chopper exploded and it started to spin. About four darkened figures managed to jump from it and land safely before the choppers spinning got too extreme and it span away from the roof. It continued to spin as it descended.

"Oi, that's gonna hit Aizen's building" Toshiro said. After another complete spin it disappeared into the side of the building to be replaced with a massive ball of fire and broken glass and steel. "C'mon" he said aiming his grapple hook harpoon. Pulling the trigger the rope disappeared onto the roof of Aizen's building. Pulling the rope until it was taut he nodded at Yoruichi.

She fired as well and Soifon followed suit. After everyone was suitably set up Bambietta drew her bow back and fired. The arrow flew directly to its intended target and windows were blown out by the explosive device. Glancing at Bambietta's back Soifon realised Bambietta still had over ten of those arrows still left, that's ten potentially Aizen killing bolts!

Candice bit down on an Oreo and sighed. She stepped off the building and swung neatly and landed professionally in the ruined office. She looked back and waved. She crouched and pointed her submachine gun keeping point. Yoruichi nodded at Toshiro and both swung, then Matsumoto and Komamura. "Go on" Shaozu said behind her

"In for a penny"  
"In for a pound" Shaozu completed. Both swung. Soifon had to narrow her eyes to stop them watering from the speed. Damn this is scary! She thought. She closed her eyes as she got closer and only opened them when her feet made contact with solid ground.

Bambietta landed behind her. "Whoa" She said. There was a sharp crack and the floor beneath Bambietta's feet gave way. Soifon on instinct grabbed her and pulled her forward. They collided with each other and fell to the ground. "Shit" Bambietta said pulling herself up. "That was embarrassing"

"Okay" Yoruichi said nodding at Nel. "Shall we kill a god?"  
"How pretentious" Nel muttered walking behind her. The green camouflage Shotgun she called Gamuza resting in her hand. In terms of weaponry Soifon had a submachine gun called a MP5, It was surprisingly light. Besides this she had a pistol and a sawed off Shotgun, the double barrel beast was the most damaging of her weapons but also the heaviest and longest to reload. Yoruichi called it a 'Lupara'. She had a bandolier of shotgun shells for it which was wrapped around her chest. All she needed was a bandanna and she'd look like a Rambo wannabe.

Toshiro however did sport a bandanna; he looked strangely stylish with it on. Yoruichi only carried a pistol which was held loosely in her hand. It often confused Soifon why Yoruichi didn't seem to rely on weapons much.

The rugged band of high school girls, gardeners and detectives mad their way through the building. No one was in but all the lights were on illuminating the building brightly. "How many floors until Aizen?" Soifon asked

"Two" Yoruichi whispered before putting a finger to her lips that Soifon would rather be kissing in front of a roaring hearth rather than be stuck in this stupid situation. They moved quickly and silently. Yoruichi and Shaozu taking point and checking corners as they went. The building was eerily empty.

They came to a flight of stairs and started up. Now was the time to finish this once and for all!

***Change***

Lei scowled at Gin and Aizen who sat drinking champagne as the flaming helicopter spun past and exploded into the side of the building they were in. This was fast becoming a bad action flick. It had all the factors, babes, explosions, car chases, babes who _cause_ explosions!

"So…Gin" Aizen said standing up "are we going finish this once and for all." Just then the door for his office blew open and a large man with a dark spiffy moustache walked in accompanied by a blonde and two young girls, always gotta have a few babes lying around…

"Ah" Aizen said "Mr Bach we meet at last"

"Aizen" Juha said "you pose a significant threat to the future of the Stern Ritter"

"Don't worry Aizen-taicho" Gin said walking forward, "I'll get rid of them"

Aizen started to smile but stopped when there was a sharp crack of a gunshot. Lei looked around perplexed…who got shot? He noticed something red dripping down Aizen's white outfit. Was he bleeding? Gin stood grinning with a smoking gun in his hand. "I had to know it was you I was firing at and that you didn't have a slow device on you"

"That isn't enough to kill me" Aizen choked staggering back. "You may be able to pierce Hierro with it but that's it…" he stared at his hand. "What's happening?"

"I fired the special…Kamishini bullet at you"

"You bastard!" Aizen said falling back

"Every known lethal dose of poison put into a single armour piercing hollow point uranium coated bullet manufacturing just one costs five hundred million dollars"

"Dark" Lei said unimpressed. Aizen had shown himself to be a monster and he was killed by this? How disappointing.

"Lei" Gin said looking at him, his normal grin nowhere to be seen "Are you-" he was cut off by Aizen slashing him with his sword.

"Huh?" Said the black haired girl "wasn't he shot in the heart?"  
"This may be a slight problem, Gisselle" He said but he didn't look particularly bothered. Gin groaned and fell back, blood splattering onto the white couch as he descended toward the floor.

Just then the other door exploded and from the smoke almost in slow motion Yoruichi Shihouin walked out like a deathly goddess sent to rip Aizen's very soul out and drag it straight to hell. She trained the gun on him and fired whist never missing a step. After she'd spent her mag she crouched in a very clinical manor and Shaozu stepped in and unleashed a hail of bullets from an Assault Rifle. Aiming at both Aizen and Juha Bach.

Aizen didn't bother to even try and dodge but Juha, Lei and the other Stern Ritter girls dived for cover. Lei dived behind a minibar whilst the Stern Ritter all. Aizen still seemed to be affected by Gin's poison and staggered slightly as he advanced on Yoruichi who abandoned her pistol and engaged him in hand to hand combat.

Lei watched in slight amazement. No wonder Soifon was in love, this woman's technique was flawless; she was like a dancer performing a routine she'd practiced nonstop for years. Everyone's eyes were to be glued on her and her moves. Aizen, of course, was unaffected by her fighting prowess despite being the lesser fighter all he had to do was out last her. She was already beginning to tire.

The remaining of Yoruichi's crew engaged the Stern Ritter and Lei decided to just play the pacifist. He didn't particularly care about Aizen anymore and he wanted to see if he had a limit. Soifon jumped forward with a shotgun in her hand. Placing it point-blank against his head she fired.

Both barrels of buckshot blew him sideways with tremendous force. An arrow of some kind flew in after him and with what seemed like a huge explosion. He was covered with flames. Lei ducked behind the bar to avoid flying debris.

Aizen stood up and smiled slightly. "Is that the best you can do?" he said only flinching now and then when a bullet hit him. He sidestepped another arrow which exploded taking most of the eastern wall away.

"Man fuck this guy!" Bambietta Basterbine shouted walking forward with what looked like a bowie knife in her hands. "Come at me bro!"

"How provocative"

"Basterbine!" Juha Bach said "You've killed Stern Ritter, you're a target too!"

"Like I give a fuck!" Bambietta grinned sheathing her knife and pulling her bow off her back "I'm three for zero and back on top!" She fired another arrow at the wall Juha hid behind. It exploded in a storm of plasterboard, wood and fire.

"Calm down, Bambi" Candice shouted "You'll end this with everyone's death!"  
"Shut up" Bambietta shouted diving to the side avoiding another spattering of bullets.

"Gin!" Matsumoto said rushing to the side of the fallen man.  
"I've known both of you were NSA for a while" Aizen said "now die with your partner" he said raising his sword.

Gisselle and Meninas emerged from their hiding places and peppered Aizen thoroughly with bullets. He scowled at the two girls and swiped his sword for them. Both dodged and Haschwald came in with a sword of his own.

A loud clang echoed through the room as the swords clashed. "Mighty Stern Ritter" Aizen patronised.

"Now for the end of you" Haschwald said with another swipe he slashed straight down Aizen's chest. Aizen smiled and grabbed Haschwald's sword. Ripping it from his grip he buried both swords into his chest. "What part of 'Immortal' do you ants not understand?"

Shaozu buried a blade into the back of Aizen's neck. Aizen merely scowled and elbowed him back and swiped. Lei almost gasped as Shaozu fell back clutching his slashed jugular vein. "Shaozu!" Soifon said grabbing him. Haschwald wasn't quite dead either. He grabbed Aizen and pushed him toward the window. He staggered a few feet but stopped before he could fall.

"I doubt something like that could kill me" Aizen said. Haschwald smiled slightly and pulled the pin from a grenade. Yoruichi, Soifon, Meninas, Gisselle and Matsumoto all ran for cover and at the last second the grenade exploded.

Lei ducked back behind the Minibar and picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Better than any gimmicky 3D film on the market I say" Lei said trying to swallow the loss of the last male besides him in the family. Now it was only him and Soifon.

A huge gut-wrenching rumble shook him from his thoughts. "What's happening!?" He heard Bambietta shout

"Oh god!" Candice yelled "THE BUILDING IS FALLING!"

***Change***

Soifon fought desperately for grip as the building rumbled like it was caught in an earthquake. Candice and Nel fought with Aizen and Yoruichi sparred with…more like smacked around Gisselle and Meninas. "Enough of your petty attempts" Aizen said grabbing Nel's wrist. With a tug he hauled Nel straight out of the window

"Nel!" Candice shouted grabbing for her. Aizen merely kicked her and she followed.  
"Fuck!" Yoruichi said. Soifon could feel real sadness bubbling up now. Nel, Candice and Shaozu were all dead, because of him! Aizen! She ran forward grabbing for the scalpel that she'd hid in her sock. She sliced for Aizen's throat but it was dodged.

She recovered quickly and drove a finger in to his spine and then stabbed the scalpel into his neck for Nigeki Kessatsu. He groaned as his nerves exploded. Yoruichi stopped to stare. Had she done it? Had it killed him? He smiled again and grabbed her arm. "Too bad, your little trick didn't work"

"Soifon!" Yoruichi shouted. Soifon stared at Aizen as he raised his sword and brought it down. His hand stopped before it made contact.

"What do you think you're doing…Lei?" Aizen said glancing sideways at the man

"I can't let Shaolin die too" He said "Too many Feng's have lost their lives"

The building jerked and Soifon felt horror fill her as the building started to lean. "Oh god!" Yoruichi said abandoning her ass whooping of Gisselle and Meninas. She kicked Aizen who was fighting for balance. "Go up!" She shouted. Soifon didn't need to be told twice.

She followed Toshiro and Matsumoto as they stumbled up the rumbling stairs. "This is stupid!" Toshiro shouted in a panicked tone

"Wait for me" Bambietta said hobbling behind them. Then came the drop, It was like being in an elevator. She felt like her body weighed nothing as the building started to crash down.

"Hurry!" Yoruichi almost screamed, "Don't falter, don't pause, not even for a second, Run Soifon, Run, RRUUUN!" The roaring of the collapse got louder and louder. Soifon felt panic suffocating her; sweat clung to her, her felt like she was running through syrup with the leg. Would she make it? She'd have to run faster, faster. FASTER!

They burst out of the fire escape onto the roof "Oh Craaaap" Bambietta yelled grabbing and holding onto Lei for dear life

"Get off me!" Lei shouted sounding more distressed than Soifon had ever heard. The crumbling building came to its dusty terminus and Soifon was thrown sideways and everything went black…

Breathe! She thought. She was still alive! Thank god. She was under some rubble but it was pushed off easily. Car alarms sounded out all over the street and probably the entire city like they were singing a wailing lament to the building.

She stood in awe, the entire building had collapsed. Surely Aizen must be dead. With a dreaded thought Soifon realised Yamamoto and the others must've been climbing up when it fell. She fell to her knees, everyone…dead, they were all dead. "Soifon!" she turned to see Yoruichi bleeding but not seriously injured stumbling toward her. "Thank god" She said grabbing her lover and pulling her into a hug.

"I thought I'd lost you" Soifon said

"WHOA!" Bambietta screamed emerging from a pile of bricks "Again, again I wanna go again!" she staggered around a little and fell over. Toshiro hauled a bleeding an unconscious Matsumoto from the stairwell doorway which sat completely intact.  
"Do you fools not know the protocol for being in a collapsing building?" He said

"Forgive us" Yoruichi said grinning. She stopped and her eyes widened. Toshiro turned just as Aizen slashed him up the chest with his sword.

"Toshiro!" Yoruichi shouted.

"Damn" Bambietta drew back an arrow but hesitated, she didn't want to fire when Toshiro was so close. Her hesitation cost her life. Aizen kicked a stone and it struck the tip of the arrow. It exploded enveloping Bambietta in fire.

"Aizen!" Komamura emerged from the rubble and smashed down on him with a hefty haymaker. Aizen didn't even fall to one knee. He swiped again and Komamura fell in a bloody heap.

"You've grown too powerful!" came Yamamoto's powerful voice. From the dust emerged the entire of the Gotei 13 unharmed.

"How did you guys survive?" Yoruichi said

"We fell back when the chopper hit the building" Ryo said "we saw the structural damage caused by its strike and sent someone to tell you to abort but it was too late"

"More ants to squash" Aizen said. He stepped over Lei who lay motionless with a steel spike sticking though his chest. Soifon barely glanced at him, she couldn't bare it. From the opposite side the Xcution members emerged from the smoke.

"It's all going down now" Shuhei noted.

"What'll we do?" Renji said

"Ukitake and Kyoraku" Yamamoto said "me and you'll take Aizen, the rest destroy those Xcution members!"

And like that explosions and gunfire erupted again. Aizen dodged and smiled as bullets hit him and bounced off. Soifon groaned as the effects of the entire fight took its toll. She fell to the ground. "I can't…" She panted

"Don't worry" Yoruichi grinned "I won't let him get away"  
There was almost an all-round scream of horror. Soifon leaned to see what happened and almost did just that. Yamamoto fell, actually only half of him fell, the other half stayed upright. Juha Bach emerged from the rubble only to explode in a huge fleshy explosion. Bambietta became the centre of everyone's attention and she said: "Has just been revoked" She grinned and the puffed out some smoke and collapsed again.

Soifon stared as Aizen cut down Kyoraku and then Ryo and Ukitake. Shuhei and Renji fell shortly afterward. The Xcution members were all dead and now only the Gotei remained. Aizen had little trouble fighting off Grimmjow, Harribel and Isshin. Tier groaned as Aizen slashed across her stomach and Grimmjow took one into his chest. Aizen stooped and picked up Bambietta's bowie knife and dodged a strike from Yoruichi. She jumped back avoiding his slash and kicked the knife trying to get it out of his hands but he merely withdrew his original katana from Grimmjow and threw the knife at Yoruichi who caught it and threw it back. The knife buried itself into his forehead.

That had to be it now! He pulled it out and threw it at Shinji and dodged past Hiyori and Mashiro. Slicing them semi-fatally with his sword. Soifon could barely bring herself to watch. Everyone was being slaughtered and she was just lying here, useless.

No! She pulled herself up just in time to see him be grabbed by Lei and in his distraction get a face full of Yoruichi's shoe. He kicked Lei's hand away and snapped Yoruichi's leg like it was a twig. A bloodcurdling scream of pain left Yoruichi's lips as she fell to the ground. Soifon ran forward and jumped kicking his abdomen and then kicking his chin.

"Don't be hasty, girl!" He said punching her ankle throwing her balance off and then plunging his sword into her. Pain exploded through her abdomen and she heard Yoruichi scream her name.

Another loud rumbling noise came from the left and a huge lorry burst through the smoke and rubble and smashed into Aizen. He was thrown back and Kukaku, Ichigo and Kenpachi emerged from the truck. Kenpachi grinned and wasted no time engaging Aizen.

For once Aizen seemed to be on the receiving end of an ass kicking. He tried to dodge and block Kenpachi powerful blows but he couldn't deal with the ferocity. Soifon watch bleary eyed as Kenpachi fought Aizen. She must be dying surely? Could she cheat death again? For another few years with Yoruichi?

There was a loud gunshot and Kenpachi was thrown back. Aizen held Soifon's sawed-off shotgun. He smiled "That was difficult" He said

"Aizen" Ichigo said calmly "This is your last chance"  
"Chance?" Aizen laughed "There is no such thing as chances, only those who are strong enough to take what they want!"

"Really bought his own press this one"

"Ichigo" Urahara said "do it"

Ichigo brought up a strange gun and fired it at him. Rather than bullets Aizen was covered in a sticky silvery liquid. Kukaku grinned and whipped the tarp off the back of the lorry "Behold the Flower Crane Cannon and in it" She pointed at the huge missile "This is a BGM-109 Tomahawk Nuclear Missile codenamed Mugetsu!"

"How trivial" Aizen said looking at the substance.  
"All I have to do it press this and you'll be magnetically drawn to the missile and then launched into oblivion" Ichigo said holding the device in his hand.

Suddenly Aizen was in front of him. Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise as did Soifon's and Yoruichi's. He slashed Ichigo with his sword and Ichigo fell, dropping the device. It skidded a little and sat in the direct median between him and Soifon. She couldn't reach it and neither could he. "Damn it" Ichigo said. Aizen was then engaged in combat by Urahara and Isshin.

Yoruichi got up and fought too. Soifon tried to crawl toward the device but her body just wouldn't, she had no energy left. Isshin was knocked back and so was Urahara. Grabbing Yoruichi by the throat Aizen said "I'm going to squeeze your life right out"

"Come on" Ichigo said. He held his sword by the blade and was trying to manoeuvre the device back into his hands.

Soifon watched him, hoping, praying he could get it. He slipped again. Yoruichi made choking noises as she struggled against Aizen's grip. "Please" Soifon said "Come on" he slipped again. His hand bled with the blade cutting into his flesh. He missed again. "Come on" Soifon said. Ichigo noticed her for the first time. He smiled slightly.

Positioning the sword behind the device he struck it. It slid right into Soifon's hand. She smiled and briefly looked at the device. She pressed the yellow button saying 'Magnet'.

With a buzz Aizen was swiped off of his feet. Yoruichi crunched painfully on the ground. "What!" Aizen exclaimed

"Aizen!" Soifon shouted, she pressed the 'Arm' button "Make like an atom and SPLIT!" she pushed launch and the rocket ignited and shot into the sky with tremendous force. Ichigo laughed hysterically as the rocket soared even higher. Before the night was turned to day by the massive nuclear explosion.

It was bright, brighter than the last one. She covered her eyes with her arm. She could even see her mending bone through her cast. "Thank god" Kukaku said smiling up at the sky as the blast died down and they were all left in the dull glow of the slowly rising sun. Soifon crawled over to Yoruichi.

"Hey" Yoruichi smiled

"I just saved the day" Soifon grinned

"Make like an atom and…split?"

"Every action hero needs a catchphrase" Soifon said feeling her cheeks go red.

There was a dull thud and to everyone's horror and relative embarrassment a bare naked Aizen stood up. "You think that can kill me!" Aizen said staggering

"No!" Urahara said with some kind of hose pipe in his hand "Only weaken you so you can't struggle out of this whilst it sets!" He turned it on and Aizen was covered by what looked like concrete. Kenpachi and Grimmjow carried the fridge they'd stuffed Harribel into. "Hurry!" Urahara said. They all grabbed Aizen and stuffed him in. Slamming it shut Urahara put the tip of the hose to a bullet hole and begun filling the fridge. "I'd hate to be immortal if that was my fate" Yoruichi said. The full volume of what Aizen was about to suffer through hit her and she almost felt sorry for him.

"It's set already" Urahara said kicking the fridge and pulling out of his solid coat. He dropped it on the ground with a thud.

"What'll you do with him?" Soifon asked

"The Challenger Deep is the deepest point in the world by the time the technology to get him is invented he'll be underground maybe even into the Mantle. He'll never be discovered by another human being. He'll be imprisoned for the entire of history and the future, if he truly is immortal and doesn't drown in the concrete"

"Poor bastard" Kenpachi said unsympathetically

"S-Soifon" She heard. Turning she saw Lei looking up at her. She stared down at him but said nothing "I just wanted to s-say I'm sorry for everything that we've done to you, at the beginning we just wanted to toughen you up, but we got greedy…I'm s-sorry" his hand went limp and his eyes lost their focus. Soifon let a single tear fall down her cheek. She closed his eyes with her hand and went about checking the other Gotei members.

Toshiro stared up at her "What happened?" he said

"Nothing much…I blew up Aizen" Soifon said "then Urahara entombed him"

"I see" Toshiro smiled "where's Momo?" Soifon looked around and saw Momo looking around, clearly looking for Toshiro. Soifon waved to get her attention. She jogged over and dived onto Toshiro. "Omegodithoughtyouweredead!" She said quickly

"You can't kill a silvery god like me" Toshiro said with an uncharacteristic warm smile on his face. It was slightly disturbing and Soifon left them to it. Bambietta was now being fussed over by Hanataro. "Hey" She said to Soifon "Tabula Rasa?" She held out her hand. Soifon smiled and shook her head. She took Bambietta's hand and shook it.  
"Tabula Rasa"

"Go to her" She laughed. Soifon waster no more time. She found Yoruichi quickly and fell into her arms.

"What a goddamn week!" Soifon said

"I just know it" Yoruichi said running her hand through Soifon's hair.

"What are we gonna do now?"  
"Sojun is very respected amongst the people and he'll easily convince them that Aizen was evil not to mention the footage from Kukaku's bar when he tried to deport you and other evidence we've got"

"Where's Ryo?"

"Dunno" Yoruichi said "Nel and Candice died…that sucks"  
"I know"

***Change***

Nel lay staring at the sky. The afterglow of that Nuke still fresh in in her eyes. It hurt to move, she was dying, she knew it. In her last moments of falling she grabbed Candice and used her own body as a cushion. Candice currently wept beside her.

"Don't cry my love" Nel said running her hand through her hair "I'll see you in the afterlife"  
"Please" Candice said "don't die on me!"  
"Sorry" Nel said "time to leave the old mortal coil"

"Nel!"

"Goodbye" She said. She let out her final breath and closed her eyes….she inhaled "next one is my last…" She breathed out and breathed in again… "Yeah I'm not dying am I?"

"I don't think so" Candice said laughing though her tears "Yokatta"

"What are we gonna do?" Candice helped Nel stand

"The Mastermind is still at large and every detective in the world will be after them" Nel said "we have to…" She stared. Ryo stood smoking a cigarette. He leaned on a car and when he saw them approaching he opened the back seat

"What's that saying going around these days" He said to them "Tabula Rasa?"

"Thanks" Nel said "…this was his plan wasn't it?"  
Ryo smiled and fixed her with an auric gaze "I wouldn't know"

"That sly bastard" Nel said

"Where to?" he said

"Didn't we want to be on an island off of Costa Rica?" Nel said to Candice. She smiled back at her. Ryo grinned.

"Time to disappear"

***Change plus two weeks ***

"I can't believe school is starting again so soon!" Momo said staring at the fire. They all sat in the meadow beside Yoruichi's treehouse. Soifon lay in Yoruichi's arms staring up at the stars that twinkled above. Urahara sat holding Kukaku in a similar fashion but he hand a hand on her stomach. She snoozed. Hanataro riffled melodically on a guitar. Who knew Kukaku had taken Hanataro under her wing as a guitar playing prodigy.

"Our Flight is in two days" Bambietta said blowing smoke from her cigarette into the sky "me and Hanataro are gonna live in Venice"  
"We've been learning Italian"

"Si, abbiamo" Bambietta said after taking another draw

"Bella pronuncia" Yoruichi said nodding. "Me and Soifon are gonna be flying away soon too"

"Why?" Toshiro said  
"Now that we've became famous Private Detectives we've attracted the attention of many people all over the world. We are officially gonna become like Sherlock and Holmes!"

"More like Tango and Cash" Hanataro chuckled

"Hey!" Soifon said grinding her fist on his head.

"Ow, ow, ow!" he said struggling. Bambietta merely laughed.

For the entire night they sang, danced and stared at the stars without a care in their minds knowing that it was them and them alone who'd put an end to a god, they'd done the impossible. If the circumstances arose for them to converge again surely the enemy would be nothing less than God himself and let God quiver in fear as the Gotei 13 cannot be defeated by mere gods.

She and Yoruichi were going to go travelling, she was going to show her all the wonders of the world and they'd get remarried. They promised to forget all their troubles on this island and even the Kotowari Centre was being rebuilt with Bambietta and Yoruichi pouring a lot of money into it. After all everything needed a Clean Slate. It was the Tabula Rasa…

The End

**Thank fuck for that! I was to express my gratitude to ShadowKnight, Silver and Taka for their support through the entire story, I know I got a little… perverse though it but you stuck with it and you have my greatest wishes for the rest of your lives whatever you chose to do with it. Also for taking part in my little questions and queries so here's the final Question: what was your favourite moment from Yoruichi Private Eye!? Mine was either the lava car chase, Grimmjow meeting back with Pantera or the revelation of the Mastermind. If anyone doesn't know Tabula Rasa means clean or blank slate in Latin! It was taken from a Heroes episode. **

** Also I quoted a few films like Lethal Weapon 2 (Bambietta Lawlz). I have an idea for a squeal and I WANT to see other Yoruichi PI cases! Shadow! I'm looking at you! Do it! **


	31. Chapter 31: 18

**Authors Note:Okay!... I know i said it was gonna be a separate story but i decided just to keep the sequel in the original for whatever reason...easier for people who already follow it i s'pose since they wouldn't have known when i uploaded the sequel Also spiritualism exists in the AU so there will be a few monsters and ghosts and shit but nothing hyper powerful.**

***Prologue***

"Samosa" she said looking back at her employee "what a word, it just rolls off the tongue, Sah-moh-sah"

"It's aren't they like oranges?" He replied

"Like I care" She said walking across her apartment. Bending down she picked up a newspaper. "What's happening in ye' old current affairs?"

"Nothing much" he replied "I read it earlier"

She fixed him with her fascinating wisteria coloured eyes "I didn't know you could read?"

"Shut up" He snapped. She chuckled looking at it. After about five minutes she scrunched it up, rage burned in her eyes. "What is it?"

"HER!"

"Who?"  
"That bitch, Yoruichi Shihouin, she's made the news again with another case!" She threw the paper across the room "I should be getting the beast cases but no one recognises my gifts!"  
"Maybe you should poach her cases and solve them yourself" He replied

"That's…" She stared at him for a second before bursting out in a brilliant smile "that's a brilliant idea!"

"I was being sarcastic" he said. She jumped up and pulled her red and yellow hair into a ponytail.

"Too late" She said "I will show up this wannabe detective with my own skills and everyone will know the name…" She did a pose "Shura Kirigakure!"

***Change***

Soifon stared out at the river Thames. Almost eighteen months had passed since Kisuke had dropped Aizen into the Challenger Deep and not a single problem had got in their way after that…god life was boring! It was having an impact on their relationship as well. Yoruichi didn't seem to have the same…fire as she'd used to.

"I'm bored" Yoruichi said

"In a five star hotel overlooking the Thames and you're bored?" Soifon said staring at her incredulously.

"Is that a problem, I'm not allowed to be bored anymore?" Yoruichi snapped her brow furrowing

"Whatever" Soifon said turning back to the view. The Thames was hardly a sight to behold frankly. Britain….despite having a reasonable tourist trade was almost like an introverted nation, they rarely welcomed anyone with open arms. Go into a shop and the clerk will scowl rather than smile. Go to a Zoo and the tour guides will drone boredly rather than grab your attention. Even the glorious river Thames was just a murky brown stinking waste. Everyone in the streets hated each other despite not knowing each other with the occasional crazed homeless person shout nonsense about Satan or more often than not these days about how MP's were stealing money from the populous.

Soifon smiled slightly. She loved this country! The last case they had they were on was up in Scotland trying to find evidence of Nessie. Yoruichi was super excited for it so Soifon hadn't really told her that there had been several attempts at finding it and all of them much more technologically advanced than going out with a rowing boat and a Kodak Disposable Camera!

What they needed was a real case! Back in the first ten or eleven months Yoruichi had been rising in fame as a super-sleuth! She'd solved two Assassinations of government bodies, discovered three terrorist cells, stopped world war three and rescued a kitty from a tree.

"I'm gonna Skype Kukaku" Yoruichi said. Soifon looked at her watch

"Isn't it five in the morning there?"

"So?" Yoruichi said

"What do you mean so?" Soifon snapped "She'll be asleep"  
"Argh" Yoruichi snapped throwing her phone on the coffee table and picking up her keys

"Where are you going?"

"Out!"

"Out where?"

"I don't have to tell you everything!" Yoruichi shouted back before slamming the door. Soifon watched the door for a second and then sighed

"We need a case!" Soifon said. She pulled put her Samsung. She'd abandoned her iPhone due to its constant…restriction and picked up a Samsung Galaxy and spent most of her free time reliving her childhood by playing the Game Boy Colour Emulator.

Soifon was distracted from her thoughts when Skype started to ring. She walked over and checked the person ringing. Bambietta… She clicked answer and found herself staring at both Hanataro and Bambietta grinning.

"What's up?" Soifon said

"Nothing much" Bambietta replied glancing at Hanataro "we thought we'd give our congratulations on the 'Sheffield Ripper' solving"

"You've only just heard about that?" Soifon said "mind you it was our last 'Solve'"  
"Oh dear" Bambietta said with a happy frown. She was so goddamn cheery these days it was freaky. As Yoruichi and she got further apart she and Hanataro got even closer.

"Still trouble with Yoruichi?" Hanataro asked looking curious

"Nothing we can't pull through" Soifon said "she'd just got the face on"  
"Domestics" Bambietta said to Hanataro who nodded knowingly.

"How do you guys do it?" Soifon said "No offence Hana but you're a little vapid"

"None taken" Hanataro muttered.

"Hanataro is a different man in the bedroom" Bambietta said "you remember….back in Rukon we saw Aizen…uh…naked?"

"Yeah" Soifon said

"We'll I can officially say Hanataro is more hung than Aizen!"

"Wha…" Hanataro squeaked with his cheeks going scarlet.

"Mind you" Soifon said "He wasn't that impressive"  
"I know…" Bambietta grinned "The Immortality must have stemmed from compensation issues"

"Perhaps" Soifon said laughing.

"Did you read the 'Lesbian Sex Tips' book I sent you?"

"Briefly" Soifon said remembering being caught by Yoruichi reading it and then Yoruichi being all for doing the most perverse positions in the book. "Did you get the CD?"

"Yes"

"It's about time you discovered real music" Soifon said

"I've never even heard of these…Arctic Monkeys!" Bambietta said holding the album case in front of the camera.

"That's because you have no taste"  
"Take your indie and shove it" Bambietta grinned

"I remember when Yoruichi smacked all those pearly whites out your face"  
"I remember taking a few of yours for my own too" Bambietta said

"Hmm" Soifon grumbled miserably

"Don't be so…Mardy!"

"Mardy?" Soifon said "I never you were a Sheffield lass"

"Shut up" Bambietta said "You got the tests results you can have children?"  
"Yeah" Soifon said. Yoruichi had insisted that they should leave it up to one doctors 'expert' opinion and take a proper test. Thankfully it came back positive and she was still fertile. Soifon had thought it was slightly strange she was still able to get a period.

A letter slid under the door and Soifon stared expectantly at the door. "I just got…super-secret mailed" Soifon said

"Oh?" Bambietta said. Soifon picked up the laptop and showed them. "Did that just happen now?"

"Yeah" Soifon said "oh hey it's snowing!"

"Lemmie see!" Bambietta said

She positioned the laptop at the window. "Awesome" Bambietta said. Soifon often forgot that Bambietta and Hanataro had both grown up on a Hawaiian Island that never got any snow. "Hey Hanataro, do you know what this is?" Soifon said putting her wrist in front of the camera lens.

"Move it back a little" he said. She obeyed. Recently a lump had appeared on her wrist and it hadn't gone away yet, it was starting to worry her.

"Well"

"It looks like a ganglion" Hanataro said

"The fuck is that?" Soifon said feeling slightly worried  
"A Ganglion Cyst or bible bump as they're quite commonly known as are basically fluid from the joint of your wrist going into the flesh" Hanataro explained "they're not particularly dangerous"  
"Why do they call them Bible Bumps?"

"Because people used to make them rupture by hitting them with heavy books, most houses only had bibles so they hit them with bibles, hence the name"

"Oh"  
"Bambietta sometimes gets one on her wrist where Yoruichi broke it"  
"The bitch nearly ripped my hand off"

"She did try" Soifon said shrugging

"We've got to go I'm cooking minestrone!"

"Have fun with that" Soifon said

"We will"

"Bye"

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do" Bambietta said grinning

"No holds barred, eh?" Soifon said laughing. She clicked the red icon and stood up and picked the letter up. Addressed to Yoruichi, Soifon tossed it on the coffee table next to her phone. She walked through into the bedroom and dropped onto the bed. There had been no love making last night, it was quite disappointing. Yoruichi barely had any sex-drive at all these days.

Soifon drifted into sleep wondering if their marriage was doomed to be loveless like so many before it. Didn't they have a spark, a pride in the face of adversity; didn't Yoruichi go the extra mile to stick it to the man if they had wrong done Soifon?

"I'm back!" Yoruichi's voice snapped her awake. Soifon remembered the letter and stood up curious to see what it was. "We're you asleep?" Yoruichi said

"Yeah" Soifon rubbed her eyes and looked at the dark snowy sky; the clouds reflected the dull orange from the city. It was actually quite beautiful in its corruption.

"A letter came for you" Soifon said pointing

"You didn't open it?" Yoruichi said picking it up

"Isn't that a bit…rude?" Soifon said

"I suppose" Yoruichi looked at the back "sealed in wax" She sniffed it "expensive wax"

"Colour me curious"

She held it up to the light. Soifon noticed Yoruichi did this with every letter she received she'd said she had a 'Very Rational' fear of letters and mail. Yoruichi opened it eventually when she decided it didn't have any biohazards in it.

She pulled out the paper. It was a pamphlet for the British Museum. "Hmm" Yoruichi said opening it. On the Egyptian Exhibit section someone had stuck a bit of masking tape to it saying 'Monday 15:15'

"Tomorrow" Soifon said

"Yes" Yoruichi said lowering her brow as she inspected the pamphlet and then the envelope. It wasn't unlike potential clients to organise roundabout ways of hiring them. Soifon had been to the museum once when she was young but back then she didn't care about history or art, now the idea of going to the museum filled her with fizzing excitement.

"Get some sleep" Yoruichi said patting her back. "You've been up too late these days"  
"Yes mum" Soifon said "only if you spend some time with me"

"If I have to" Yoruichi huffed

"Not because you have to, because you want to!" Soifon snapped

"Okay" Yoruichi said not wanting to admit she didn't want to sleep with Soifon tonight.

She cuddled in beside Yoruichi and pulled the covers over. Being so high up Yoruichi never bothered to close the curtains and Soifon lay staring at the white flecks of snow drifting past the window. "I got another Skype call from Hanataro and Bambietta" Soifon said clasping her hand in Yoruichi's

"What was she saying to it?"  
"Nothing much" Soifon replied "Hanataro reckons that bump is called a Ganglion"

"I told you" Yoruichi said

"You said it was a Synovial Cyst"  
"That's just another name for it" Yoruichi snapped before tutting "just go to sleep"

Soifon felt that lonely feeling well up again. It was almost as bad as when she was homeless. Was her gross inferiority to Yoruichi finally showing through and Yoruichi was becoming bored of her plaything? It would eventually happen Soifon jadedly thought, there was no way a woman like Yoruichi would stick around with her all this time and not get bored, after all…she didn't know where Yoruichi had went. Maybe she was with someone else?

Soifon fell asleep again as a single tear made its way down her cheek, it was always going to be like that, and even her tears fell in a single dogmatic path. One truly was the loneliest number and she was starting to feel like it was her only number.

***Change***

Yoruichi woke up with a groan. Soifon's soft breath tickled her neck. Yoruichi looked at her. The Omega to her Alpha, the legs to her table, the flake to her 99er. She couldn't imagine a single day without her by her side. Even so, they still grated a little. Maybe they needed the thrill of a good old high octane case like Aizen or Hanoi or even that mess in Beirut.

A car chase and a gun fight, hardly the healthiest things to rekindle an old flame. Yoruichi smirked. Maybe they were just drifting apart. Doomed to fail? Maybe so but Yoruichi didn't want to let go of her, not whilst she was the only remaining thing in her life that made her refuse that line in the bathroom or that piece of rice paper with a skull symbol on it. Soifon kept her in line stopped her going overboard.

Yoruichi had a quick shower scowling at the hard limey water. When she'd first got to Britain she'd heard that the water from the taps was quite good. Of course Soifon said it was only up north that the water was good after she'd drank some of it. When they were up north Yoruichi liked the water it was like drinking 'Spring water' that they sell in those bottles, of course since Rukon was a volcanic spring paradise the water was premium quality so she wasn't that impressed.

After her shower she cooked some breakfast. By now Soifon padded into the bathroom and emerged again looking only a tad more jovial than a hobo. "Gloomy guts" Yoruichi said smiling. Soifon merely grumbled and sat on a chair. Yoruichi scoffed and crossed her arms. "Get ready, we've got to be at this museum in two hours"

"Yeah" Soifon sluggishly stood up and walked back into the bedroom. Soifon really seemed to be missing the excitement of the job.

Once Soifon was dressed she seemed to perk up a little and they made their way through the Hotel and Yoruichi picked up her car from the valet. Since they were only staying briefly in Britain she'd only hired a car and an Aston Martin cost stupid amounts of money to hire so she settled with a nice looking Ford Fiesta, it was nice, stylish and well suited for city living.

Yoruichi jumped in and placed her hand on Soifon's lap. "What do you think'll happen?"  
"Dunno" Soifon said staring meekly out of the window.

"You've been in a mood all week, dude what's wrong?" Yoruichi said

"Nothing"  
"Okay" Yoruichi said. Perhaps she shouldn't press, Soifon was one of the most introverted people she knew, her emotions were often kept bottled up and contained and only shown when she was comfortable, pushing may cause some unwanted fissures in their relationship.

She made good time to the Museum, London was a filthy smog filled city but it had a nice charm to it like everyone knew it a crappy city and they didn't mind because it was _their _city. Yoruichi had taken Soifon to finally see a Chelsea match at Stamford Bridge…Chelsea were beaten 8-0 in their worst defeat ever. Soifon wasn't happy to say the least. Soccer didn't really interest her but even she was disappointed with that pathetic display they'd brought to the field that day.

Finding a parking spot Yoruichi hopped out and locked the car once Soifon had done the same. The ground crunched under her feet with a lovely blanket of snow. Of course the road didn't have _snow_ per se, more like discoloured brown slush piled up by the curb side. Glancing at the crystalline blue sky Yoruichi smiled "Not much of a snow lover but it feels quaint"

"Most of the time…" Soifon said stepping over a ruined snowman "London grinds to a complete and utter standstill with even the slightest spattering of snow"

"As hardy as they make themselves out to be Brits really can't handle their snow" Yoruichi said

"The Gulf Stream usually leaves us in the dark about the weather" Soifon explained "but your right we can't be the best at everything y'know"

"Britain hardly ever win anything!" Yoruichi said

"I think we won the curling championship last year" Soifon said

"Is there an entrance fee?" Yoruichi said looking up at the massive Greek style building

"I think it's free" Soifon said

Yoruichi pulled her woolly jumper around herself a little tighter as a gust of wind almost blew right through her. "This wind is scathing" Yoruichi said

"You get used to it" Soifon said. She merely wore a one of those fleeces with the white zippers on them underneath today was a Pixies band T-Shirt, Yoruichi often wondered where she got all the band t-shirts from, she didn't recall her ever going out clothes shopping.

They walked up the stairs and walked through the lobby. Pausing occasionally to read plaques that described the items inside. "It's…" Yoruichi stared twinkly eyed at a large black tablet "it's the Rosetta Stone"

"What's that?"

"Dunno" Yoruichi shrugged "but I've always wanted to see it, it's like from Indiana Jones the tablet that led them toward the Holy Grail!"

"Hardly" Soifon said looking peculiarly at the large glass case. They made their way further into the Egypt section. Yoruichi inspected the Sarcophagus of Satsobek, the hieroglyphs fascinated her, and she felt she could almost read them… almost. "So" Someone said behind her. She turned slightly. The speaker was perhaps 17 or 18 years old, dark skinned with quite wild golden hair. "You are Yoruichi, correct?"

"I may be" Yoruichi said crossing her arms and looking back at the exhibit.

"I was wondering if I could hire your services" He said

"What can I do for you Mr…?"

"Ishtar" he said smiling slightly "Marik Ishtar"

"Well Mr Ishtar" Yoruichi smiled "what would you like me to do?"

"I'm aware you only formally take detective cases but you've shown yourself to be quite the action woman too and I hope I could hire you for more…archaeological stuff"

"If they pay is right" Yoruichi uncrossed her arms and turned back to him.

"A million" he said "a hundred thousand upon start and then nine hundred after completion"

Yoruichi raised a purple eyebrow "that's some serious paper" She said

"No…" He stared curiously at her "its money, not paper"

"Never mind" Yoruichi said shaking her head

"Will you take it?"

"What do you need retrieved?"

"It's an artefact…s"

"Okay" Yoruichi said

"Firstly we need the map and then we will locate the Millennium Items"  
"What do you need those for?" Yoruichi asked

"Uh…" His eyes moved as he fabricated a story quickly, he was smart! "I work for a collector in Egypt, he hopes to have the entire set"  
"I see" Yoruichi hadn't heard of these 'Millennium Items' they may be real but if they were unknown they wouldn't be highly sought after…this'll be a piece of cake!

She turned and went to retrieve Soifon and almost walked straight into a peculiar woman. Her violet eyes met her gold ones… for a second they stared at each other. "Fascinating" She said with a slight smile

"The Sarcophagus of Satsobek?" Yoruichi said

"Of course" She replied "what did you think I meant?"

"I don't know" Yoruichi said. She continued to smile unnervingly. "Excuse me" Yoruichi said

"…apologies" she said stepping out of her way after another long and withering stare. Yoruichi looked back at her as she walked. Marik had wandered off too. "Who was she?" Soifon asked

"I don't know but if I didn't know any better I'd say it was…" She glanced at her again "Trouble"

***End of Chapter One***

**Hey, Hey, Hey! What the fuck Faddish!? What's all this Yu-Gi-Oh bullshit I'm reading! I hear you all wail in contempt, we'll fear not my chums! If you don't like a case you can always skip to the next one, of course I may not have written it yet but never mind… Like I've stated they'll be Episodic and each story will have a few chapters. I will take and want submissions! Either write your own and upload it or write it and send it to me and I'll put it onto the story! I do take suggestions as well, a case you want to see Yoruichi and Soifon sink their teeth into? Tell me and I'll write it. I've already got an Attack on Titan summer camp twist in planning along with the movies Die Hard and the Ninth Gate set to be remade!**

** I really hope people give suggestions, I love to be interactive! **


	32. Chapter 32: Sora

**So…I've been taking new Anti-depressants and they have left me a little…tripped out, not to mention not being able to cum…it's very frustrating, so the story may be a little whacked, I've deleted all the crazy tangents that I went off on but I may have left a few that were comprised of colourful dream sequences or bizarre hallucinations. Anyway, I urge you all to check out my newest story called 'The Princess and the Knight' (I may have changed the name of it) it's a fantasy that revolves around a yuri pairing between Nel and Yoruichi, Adult Nel obv.**

***Five miles outside Dubai- a week after Yoruichi meets Marik***

Mr Glass as he was known in the criminal world walked slowly toward a raunchy strip club. Such destinations were not a common sight in Saudi but they existed. Today he was here not for scantily clad harlots but for a deal. This deal included the sale of his map that supposedly marked all the locations of the Millennium Items and a lump sum of four million euros.

Stopping through the establishment's doors he quickly looked for the man he was selling it to. Mr Ishtar he was apparently called… The woman on stage swayed woodenly to the music, she didn't generate much of a cheer from the crowd despite her best efforts. He found the young man sitting by the stage drinking what looked like milk. He tutted as he walked over, this guy better know business.

"Good afternoon" He said looking down on Marik. Marik merely glanced up and then continued to watch the woman dance.

"Did you bring it?" He said

"I did" He pulled the manila folder out of his coat for a brief moment before returning it.

"I see" Marik said with a slight smirk on his face that quickly disappeared. "Sit"

"Will you deal?" Mr Glass asked sitting at the table.

"I may" He said "can I see the actual map?"

"Tell me when I came I what colour socks did I have on?"  
"I don't know" Marik said looking curiously at him

"Good" He replied "I was checking in case you had photographic memory"

"I see" Marik said taking a swig of his milk. Mr Glass dropped the folder on the table. Marik looked inside and there wrapped in plastic was the map, drawn finely onto some high quality cloth.

Marik inspected it for a few seconds before returning it to the folder. The music changed and 'Circus by Britney Spears' started to play. A new dancer also took the stage, this one had much more stage presence, and she swayed sexily to the music, her bright golden eyes regarding the audience with amusement and mischief. She made most of the men go wild with a few shakes of her perfect hips; she was now the absolute centre of attention in the room.

With adorable little cat ears on her head she crawled seductively toward him. He placed his map back into his coat and looked at the exit, he was in no need of being seduced even though this woman was…gorgeous. She found herself staring into her perfect eyes as she crawled even closer.

"Saucer of milk for the kitty" a waitress said placing a little dish full of milk into his hands. The petite Chinese waitress backed off and let the stripper do her routine. She made her way to him and leaned right over the stage and began to lap the milk from the dish. One hand on his shoulder for balance she continued to drink. Her soft purple hair caressed his arm and his blood pressure begun to rise to exploding point. Even Marik had gone pale, poor man had probably never been this close to a woman of her calibre. Watch from a master he thought confidently. The stripper finished her trick and looked back up to him.

She grinned sexily as he wiped a tiny trickle of milk that had escaped her almost pink tongue. With a flick of her hair she was away and finishing the last of her routine. With a sigh he looked back at Marik "Will you deal?"

"No" Marik said "it was not what I thought it was, I apologise" he stood up and left quickly. The stripper exited the stage and Mr Glass ordered a double scotch. He definitely wasted his time with that one. Maybe not…that stripper was a babe! He'd definitely relive a few of those memories tonight! Sighing he reached into his coat and pulled out his folder, maybe there was something he'd missed, maybe tonight's atmosphere would make him see something. He opened it and stared…the folder was empty. That stripper! He knew it was suspicious that she had some kind of arm warmer on! "Damn it!" he shouted before grabbing his scotch and downing it. He'd definitely be having a quiet night in now!

***Change***

Soifon looked back at Yoruichi who giggled profusely. Marik drove the car as they made their getaway from Yoruichi's epic pick pocket. Yoruichi really was bred from the best con artist in the world; he'd fallen completely into her trap, hook, line and sinker.

Yoruichi tilted her silly cat ears to the side and grinned, "Easy peasy" she laughed "I saw your face Marik! You were choking like a bitch!"

"I'm not used to seeing women act such a way"

"Must've been a sheltered kid" Yoruichi laughed. Soifon could've sword she saw something flash across Marik's face but she was too busy trying not to think about Yoruichi's routine, it just served to remind her how far Yoruichi was out of her league.

"What did you think of me Soi-bee?" Yoruichi said smiling at her rhyming.

"Nothing I haven't seen before" she said trying to play it cool. Yoruichi scowled slightly

"I guess I'll have to step up my game a little" She said almost sarcastically, had Soifon upset her again? God she sucked at relationships!

"If you don't mind my prying" Marik said "are you two a…couple?"  
"Yeah" Yoruichi said as if it was obvious

"Isn't that…illegal?"

"You really are sheltered aren't you?" Yoruichi said. "Let's see this map" she pulled it out of her arm warmer. Soifon hadn't even noticed her do it and she watched her closely the entire routine…but that's what the trick was, so much attention was on her so much that it _wasn't._ It was the same gimmick Nel used when she was the mastermind. It worked too well. Yoruichi sang along loudly to Sympathy for the Devil by Rolling Stones bobbing her head and drumming her hands as well.

The song set a nice mood as Marik sped along the straight dark desert road. The moon shone directly above giving the yellow sand of the desert an ominous grey tone with the black streak of the road bifurcating it unsympathetically. "So" Soifon said "where are the items?"

"Apparently there are seven and they all seem to be in the very corners of the globe" Yoruichi said "this isn't the regular map, it's quite difficult to read"

"How so"? Soifon said

Yoruichi held out the map which was basically just a jumble of numbers and symbols in the shape of the eye that Soifon could only really associate with the Illuminati all-seeing eye. "How can you even read that?" Soifon said

"With much difficulty" Yoruichi said looking at it again "so the three's must be a river…no a waterfall" she muttered looking very closely "no they're rivers, so that must mean these conjunction of three's here" she pointed at a small cluster of threes. "They all add up to 45, which must mean…hmm K2 has a…oh crap" Yoruichi rolled her eyes "Shangri-La"

"Sh…Shangri-La?" Soifon said staring at her.

"Shit that's not all" Yoruichi said "I've got Atlantis, Camelot and Thebes mentioned too"

"What?" Soifon said "I think that Map's yanking your chain"

"Atlantis exists" Yoruichi said "I've seen it"

"No you haven't" Soifon scoffed. Yoruichi stared back at her

"Yes I have" She said brazenly "it's got a pretty gold tower and everything"  
"Where is it then?"

"Off the coast of Rukon"

"What?" Soifon said "I'm calling bullshit right now"

"No word of a lie!" Yoruichi said "my dad took me to see it; he never raided it even once because apparently it's watched over by the Kraken"

"That doesn't exist either!"

"Yes it does" Yoruichi said "I've seen it!"

"Here we go again" Marik muttered

"No you haven't" Soifon said ignoring him. He sighed loudly and jerked the car.

"Enough!" He said "heaven forbid I paid you women to argue"

"We don't do it that much" Soifon said crossing her arms

"Of course you do" He said "you're like an old married couple"

"Only a year and a half" Yoruichi tutted. Soifon leaned back on her seat, perhaps it was time to get some sleep before they continued their journey.

For once she fell asleep without a depressing thought in her head, maybe Yoruichi was right…an adventure would do them the world of good. All through the night she dreamt of the past and Aizen and Juha Bach…something still had her nervous about Juha, he was dead, she'd seen Bambietta kill him but…something wasn't right about it, at the last second, before he exploded, he didn't seem…argh! It didn't make sense!

***Change***

"So you're away then?" Yoruichi said to Marik as he parked beside the airport

"Yes" He said "I have to report to my boss about your findings, perhaps you should go to one of those temples and try and pick up one of the Items"

"Yes" Yoruichi said "the map also points us to the Temple of Solomon, it's nearby, in fact we can go to it on our way to Shangri-La in Tibet"

"I see" Marik said "is the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem?"

"I think so" Yoruichi said "we've also got the ruins of Babel to explore too"

"That makes one more" Marik said

"Yeah" Yoruichi said "I don't know what the PI symbol is yet, I think it may mean plateau which means one is near Table Mountain or Uluru in Australia."

Soifon stepped out of the car and took a deep breath before lighting up a cigarette, it was a filthy habit she'd recently picked up that Yoruichi hated although…she did look quite sexy when she smoked, the way she stood, the way she blew out smoke…

Marik simply nodded his farewells and walked into the airport leaving them with the car that he'd actually bought rather than rented. "So" Soifon said flicking her cigarette onto the ground and stamping it out. Yoruichi had also noted it was the same brand her brother had smoked "you still don't trust Marik?"

"I do" Yoruichi said "he's a snake"

"Why are we doing this?"  
"I don't know" Yoruichi said "have you ever been on a quest to find some items? Like a collection?"  
"No" Soifon said "but the places they're in are all fictional!"

"Maybe" Yoruichi said "have you ever heard of the term no smoke without fire?"  
"You think these places inspired the real ones?"

"Might" Yoruichi said "I've got a feeling I know where Babel and the Temple of Solomon are but we'll have to consult a man"

"A man?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said a man who should never be spoken to unless you desperately need something and you should never tell anyone you've spoken to him…especially Toshiro"

"Toshiro?"  
"Yes" Yoruichi said smiling slightly "hop in we're gonna…" she stopped and stared at someone, an obvious female on a motorbike watched them from about ten metres down the road. Her helmet was still on but Yoruichi could see those breasts struggling to break out of the leather outfit she was wearing.

"She must be uncomfortable in this heat" Soifon said. Yoruichi stared for a little longer before the woman eventually turned the bike on and sped away. "Who was that anyway?"  
"I think it was that woman from the museum last week" Yoruichi said "that creepy stare could only be her"  
"She's very skilled if she's been tailing us without us noticing"  
"I've caught glimpses of her now and then but she has been staying very far" Yoruichi said damn it! She was so damn familiar, Yoruichi thought she'd seen her before somewhere and it was killing her!

"Holdin the gold, it's so gold, it's so golden y'all" Soifon sang lightly "Golden Cobra"

"Come on" Yoruichi said jumping in the driver's seat. Soifon followed and sat down on the passenger. "Cookie?" She said holding out the packet. Soifon took one and bit down.

"Let's get a move on" Soifon said "I wanna meet this mysterious man"

"No you don't" Yoruichi said "he's a monster from what I've heard"

With that unsettling thought Yoruichi began to drive. If he hadn't moved he should live in Dubai. The city was gorgeous, the buildings were expensive and pristinely made, man-made islands graced the coast and boasted multi-million dollar mansions that made her father's manor look like a one bedroom apartment. She found the ominous casino that he owned sitting in the downtown area. It should've given away how influential this man was but she didn't seem the slightest bit intimidated.

Yoruichi led her through the casino once they'd parked. It was a nice place on the outside, despite looking a tad shady people seemed to be enjoying themselves. The staff all wore attractive suits with blue jackets. They all acted very professional and slightly disjointed, no one would ever think one of the world's most influential men resided inside this building, a man who made Aizen and Juha Bach look like counsellors of tiny mining villages in the middle of the Nevada desert. If he so commanded it the sky would fall.

She walked up to a receptionist "Hi I wish to speak to…Sora"

"I see" the woman said but did nothing

"Hmph" Yoruichi muttered crossing her arms "this is an old one but I presume it'll work…Midas and forty-four chilled onions"

"Oh, right, okay" the woman laughed and pressed a buzzer beneath the desk. Quickly two burly men in black suits and dark glasses came and led them by the arm, rather forcefully, toward a door marked 'Staff'

"Do you know why Kukaku has that tattoo on her arm?" Yoruichi said to Soifon

"No"

"Because this man owns her" She said

"Owns?"  
"He killed her brother" she said "Kaien, he masterminded a massive attack on the underworld and invaded it, the Shiba's fell to him and Kukaku, with no direction to turn merely fell to her knees and subjected herself to him. He was the Mastermind before Nel was, in fact he's out for Nel's head for stealing his name but Nel's long gone, Ryo made her disappear and she won't be found"

"So this guy is called Sora?"

"Yeah Sora, Sora Hitsugaya"

***Change***

Shura took a swig of scotch. "That's her" She said

"Quite attractive" Sora said watching her be led by two security guards toward the door on a TV monitor "what do you propose we do Miss Kirigakure?"

"I don't know" Shura replied "you're supposed to be the Mastermind"  
"Those days are long behind me" He said "now I don't like owing people, especially people whose name ends with Kirigakure now tell me if I help you now you call off the owe"

"Of course" She said fixing him with her violet gaze. He returned it with a cold teal one. "Just look at you, bro, you're sitting like a bond villain, all you need now is a cat"

"Oh" he said, he let out a soft whistle and a soft white cat jumped onto his lap seemingly appearing from nowhere. Shura stepped behind a door as another door opened and the two guards brought in Yoruichi and her little pet.

"So" Sora said "the glorious woman of the hour graces my doorstep"

"Hi" Yoruichi said looking uncharacteristically nervous "I was, uh, wondering if you could help us with a little…query"  
"Query?"  
"Yeah" Yoruichi said gulping "you owe my father a lot and I thought I-"

"In this country women aren't allowed to think for themselves and now you come to my feet and lap at my shoes like a dog hoping for a favour that I owe your dad and not you…" Sora stared at her "…but since you're really hot I might help you. What do you need"  
"The location of the Temple of Solomon and the Tower of Babel"

"Hmm" Sora said slightly chuckling "I do indeed know these locations, but what's in it for me?"  
"Do you know about your son?"  
"Little Toshiro?"

"Yes"

"No, I haven't seen him since his mother took everything from me…including him"

"Well" Yoruichi dropped a photo on his desk. Sora picked it up and inspected it.

"He's…" he stared coldly at the picture before bursting into a ridiculous smile and jumping up "he's a big boy now!" he pranced stupidly around giggling and wailing about being proud. Shura almost burst out laughing, she'd never seen that side of him before, and it was so ridiculous!

As suddenly as his episode had started it had finished and he quickly sat down and regained his cold demeanour. "So you think flashing a picture of my son will make me help you…you thought right, congratulations I might not cut you up today"

"He's insane" Shura saw Yoruichi's pet say to Yoruichi. Shura nodded her agreement, this man…only someone as manic as him would be a criminal god.

"So" he said "what else do you have to offer, how are his grades? What kind of sports does he like…has he got a girlfriend?"

"He's almost genius level, he plays soccer and he does have a girlfriend, her name is Momo"  
"What's she like?" he said cocking his head slightly

"Pretty" Yoruichi said. Yoruichi pulled her phone out and prodded it a few times. She handed the phone to Soren; it was Momo's Facebook profile. Soren swiped through her photo album.

"Hmm" he said "She is quite cute"

"Well"

"I might chop her up"

"What?"  
"Nah…that's a nice pic" He said "she can remain intact"  
"Are you going to help us?"  
"Sure why not" he said "what was it you wanted again, to be chopped up?"  
"No!" Yoruichi snapped "we don't want to be chopped up! What is it with you and chopping people up!?"

"I was going with the cop up these week" He said "all crime bosses need a kind of trademark, I was thinking about chopping people up…is it too brash?"  
"Yeah" Yoruichi said "we wanted the location of Babel and-"

"The Temple of Solomon, right?" he said "I can help you" he stood up and walked toward the door Shura stood behind, he glanced briefly at her. Grabbing a folder from a bookshelf and flicking through its contents he pulled two pieces of A4 paper out. "These are merely photocopies the real ones are in my storage and they are not coming out"

"I don't mind" Yoruichi said "as long as they are right"  
"They are" Sora said "now leave before I change my mind" he leaned back "that means you too Shura"

"Humph" she muttered pushing the door open "why'd you give me away?"  
"It seemed like the right thing to do" Sora said

"Who are you?" Yoruichi said "I recognise you from somewhere!"  
"Of course you do" Shura said "do you not remember all the women you have sex with?"

[End of Chapter 32]


	33. Chapter 33: Shura

***Six Years Ago, Rukon***

Yoruichi swayed slightly as she waited for some black haired bitch to get out of the way so she could consume that little packet of Angelic powder in her pocket. Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun blasted on the dance floor and Yoruichi was eager to get back, she'd seen some brunette temptress that was just begging for a fingering.

Once the woman was done snorting a weak volume of coke Yoruichi took her turn. Using none other than a hundred dollar bill she used her Centurion Card to sort out a little neat line. "Nice hair" Yoruichi said to a woman about her age washing her hands. The woman barely glanced at her. Bending down she used the bill to snort every last gram.

The feeling was like a thousand nuclear bombs exploding as they made their way up her nasal tract. Flaring though her entire nervous system she groaned and slammed her fist on a hand dryer. The drugs quickly took effect and she giggled. "Go buy yourself a decent haircut" she said to the woman tossing her hundred dollar bill at her.

"Wanna dance?" the woman said to her. Yoruichi looked her up and down….damn! That brunette could wait, this bitch was a babe. Wisteria eyes regarded her with lust and…something else. Yoruichi of course was too high to notice.

"Come on then" she said leading her by the hand back onto the dance floor. Now some trance song played. The thumping beat was easy to dance to. She found herself in the arms of this girl dancing like there was not a care in the world, not knowing this woman was just using her using her to get to Ryuu.

Only falling off the deep end could make Yoruichi not realise she was being seduced. After only five minutes of dancing Yoruichi felt like a million dollars even though she was worth triple that she could come to respect the turn of phrase as the woman smiled seductively and stuck those delicious looking lips onto hers.

Yoruichi couldn't wait! She wasn't quite high enough to fuck this woman on the dance floor but she had a room in the hotel conveniently across the road. Taking the woman by the hand she led her out of the club and across the street and into the Hilton Hotel. Luxury Suite of course!

"You sure are a high roller" the woman said looking around her room. Yoruichi barely glanced at her face; she was too busy admiring those curves, denim short shorts and a bikini top, not very conservative but Yoruichi didn't care. "Would you like me to fix you a drink?" Yoruichi asked

"Life's too short for such trifles" the woman laughed. She jumped on the bed and spread her legs "Now fuck me!"

"Fuck the hell yes!" Yoruichi said jumping on her.

The entire night was spent rolling around sweat soaked and panting in each other's arms, kissing and licking her partner into a minor fit. Yoruichi was having the time of her life, meeting beautiful women and having delicious sex with them but at the same time she felt lonely, lonelier than she'd ever felt, who was this woman? She was just a randomer that she'd met in a club. Maybe it was time to hang up the party shoes. "So" Yoruichi said falling off her and panting "what do you do for a living?"

"I'm…a Private Detective" she said smiling slightly at the ceiling. Hmm… Private Detective, eh? That sounded fun!

***Change***

Shura sat at the end of the bed as the naked woman slept peacefully starfished out in all her glory before her. She flicked through Yoruichi's phone. These contacts…they were what she was after. Quickly writing a note of all four of Ryuu Shihouin's phone numbers Shura's mind went back to the night before, it had been her first time with a woman, and damn it was uncomfortable! She needed penis in her diet, vagina didn't satisfy, not that it wasn't an un-pleasurable experience but maybe the lesbian experiences should be somewhat like a fine wine, only broke out once every few years.

She dropped Yoruichi's phone exactly where she'd picked it up. Today she'll be sober and thus her photographic memory will come back into play. Sighing Shura stood up and decided to try this steam shower, maybe it'll wash the all this sweat off. She'd have to get herself checked out, god only knows all the people this skank had slept with, she could be a blue waffle waiting to happen.

Pulling her underwear off she stepped in the shower she groaned as the hot water loosened up her tight muscles, Yoruichi certainly knew how to bend a woman. With the sound of the shower door opening Yoruichi was behind her. "Mind if I join you?" She said

"Not at all" Shura smiled but inwardly groaned whishing she'd go away.

"Last night" Yoruichi said wrapping her arms around her soaking wet body "was that your first time with a woman?"

"Yeah" Shura said. No use lying. She scowled at her own arousal as Yoruichi started to kiss her shoulder and her hands squeezed her breasts. She might as well play the part; it'll be over soon enough anyway, especially if she went in aggressively.

She turned to face Yoruichi who regarded her with her attractive golden eyes before leaning in and kissing her again. The water for the shower made the kiss a lot wetter and much more erotic, Yoruichi quickly massaged Shura's tongue with her own, and the slight taste of alcohol and fruit juice filled her mouth. The tropical flavour piqued her taste buds, she wanted more and she kissed Yoruichi harder. Pushing her against the black tiled wall of the shower her breasts were squashed against Yoruichi's. Trickles of water made their way down their bodies as they groped at each other.

Yoruichi seemed to have something for asses and never seemed to take a hand off Shura's. Yoruichi broke away from the kiss and started on her neck again. Plunging two fingers right into her Shura moaned. "Has anyone ever said you fuck better when you're sober" Shura said after loosing another groan of pleasure.

"It's usually the other way around" Yoruichi said between kissing her neck. She eventually made her way, kissing as she went, down her body. She followed the path her tattoo had already defined. Eventually falling to her knees she withdrew her fingers and kissed her.

Unlike porno's were the girls would meagrely nibble each other's labia's true lesbians seemed to try to get their tongue as far inside their conquest as they possibly could. Shura moaned and rested one of her thighs on Yoruichi's shoulder and gyrated her hips a little to get the feeling even more intense. Yoruichi let out soft moans of enjoyment as she lapped hungrily into her.

Eventually the feeling got too much and like a pulse of pure pleasure she let out a scream and released. With closed eyes Yoruichi's oral excursion got harder and more intense. Shura felt her knees go weak and she fell on top of Yoruichi who smiled at her.

Puling Shura into a scissor-like position she pushed her back against the cold tiles and ground her soaking wet vagina into hers. Shura felt more unquenchable waves or orgasm burst through her. Exploring the very depths of sexuality had never been quite so pleasurable. Yoruichi pulled her into another of those French kisses as they ground together. One hand entangled in her wet hair and the other thoroughly groping her ass Yoruichi's tongue invaded her mouth with the taste of Shura's orgasm still ripe.

"Shit I'm gonna cum again!" Shura said pulling away from the kiss. Yoruichi grinned and two of her fingers were suddenly rammed, all the way up to the third knuckle, into her ass. "Fuck!" With a spasm she came, harder than she'd ever done before. With a spray of vaginal fluid right into Yoruichi's pussy she screamed with pleasure. Yoruichi took this moment to release her own orgasm and with a groan she went limp and lay panting on the floor of the shower.

"Damn" Yoruichi said "you're one helluva ride"

"I know" Shura said lying on top of her. They kissed each other softly. So there they were; two very similar women almost kindred in each other's arms naked and panting one completely unbeknownst that the other had just fucked her in more ways than one…

***Back to present and behind Yoruichi***

Of course! Yoruichi stared at the woman, she recognised that tattoo most of all, she remembered tracing her lips down it; she even remembered the sweet taste of the woman's lady pie. She glanced at Sora who had his feet on his desk and seemed to be playing a game on his computer. "We've not got all day" she said to Soifon, she didn't know why this woman was here or what she was doing six years ago but it'd be no good and probably detrimental to her health.

Ignoring Shura who stood with her arms crossed and had an eyebrow cocked she walked out of the room keeping her maps safely tucked into her jacket. "So" Soifon said "I get the feeling it won't be the last we've seen of her"

"So do I" Yoruichi said. She remained thankful that Soifon never dwelled on the past even though Yoruichi had had sex with this woman Soifon probably didn't care due to her tragic past and questionable love choices.

She looked at the Map to Babel as she walked. Northeast Syria… it looks like the only way to get there is through a cave of some kind. "I wish I asked Sora if he'd actually looked for these places"

"Where is Babel?"

"Syria" Yoruichi said "I think it's underground, maybe near the Al-Jazira region" she inspected the map more, she knew how to read Arabic but not translate it…which wasn't very useful "ah…this is the Euphrates River!"

"Is it big?"

"Big enough to need a boat to go across" Yoruichi said folding the map up. She quickened her pace; she wanted to be out of the way of Shura before she got back on their trail. Damn it, what was she up to?

"You're in a good mood" Soifon said looking at her

"I am" Yoruichi chuckled "adventure, Soifon!"  
"As long as it's not a massive cluster fuck like Aizen I'll be happy" Soifon said "I bet if someone wrote a documentary about that event there'd be lots of people saying: What the fuck is this!? Was it written by a retard?"

"That's just how life works" Yoruichi said "do you think there'll be real monsters in Babel?"  
"No…" Soifon said glaring at her "monsters don't exist"

"Who are they?" Yoruichi said pointing at three people wearing cloaks and looking in Yoruichi's car. Soifon tensed but said nothing. "I fancy kicking some ass" she grinned at Soifon who shook her head and sighed "Hey!" Yoruichi exclaimed. The cloaked figures stopped snooping and sprinted away. "Wha…come back and fight me!" Yoruichi shouted after them.

"That was strangely disappointing" Soifon said "do you think they were planting a bomb?"

"Let's check, shall we" Yoruichi said flashing a smile.

"Are you sure?" Soifon said "what if they just wait for us to get close to the car and then detonate it?"

"I…uh" Yoruichi stared at the car. "Thanks, Soifon" she said sarcastically. She turned and smashed her fist through the window of the car they stood beside. Unlocking the door she sat in the driver's seat.

"What are you doing!?" Soifon exclaimed

"I'm stealing this car, Soifon" Yoruichi said adjusting the seat and going under the steering wheel and hotwiring it. The red Ferrari roared to life and Soifon jumped in the passenger seat.

"You're insane!" she said

"Nonsense" Yoruichi chuckled and put on her best award winning smile.

Accelerating out of the car park she put on the CD player and found herself laughing as the greatest 90's Europop compilation blared. "Who owned this car!?" Soifon scowled.

"I have no idea" Yoruichi laughed as she turned up 'Dr Jones by Aqua'

***Change***

Sora watched the two women drive away in his car on his CCTV camera and scowled slightly "These women have some serious balls" he said

"So they do" Shura said leaning on his shoulder he tried to ignore her soft breasts.

"Anyway" he said "you know all the locations they are going to?"

"I do" Shura said "I will give chase and outdo them!"

"Have fun" Sora muttered "now get out of my face"

"Bye-bye"

He scowled after her as she walked out of the room. Too much noise for a single day, he groaned and stretched. After he was done he picked up the picture of Toshiro and looked at it again. He was dressed in some kind of Kimono and despite smiling slightly he seemed to regard the picture taker with a tinge of iciness. Was he just like his mother? Was he doomed to be alone with no one loving him because he couldn't admit to his emotions?

"Miss Lux" he said into a speaker "book me a flight for Rukon, I've got a family reunion to generate"

"Would you like me to pack all of your chopping up tools?"

"Nah" he said "but get my sword over there, I'd like to have it nearby in case things go south…you know what Rukon is like, you can't be a crime god and enter that shithole without causing a revolution and forcing a volcano to spill out a tsunami of magma whilst Nukes explode in the sky"

"What about the Stern Ritter" she replied "I hear they are still active, they'll surely be after you if you set foot on the island"  
"I don't fear those Illuminati wannabes" he said

"What about the real Illuminati?"  
"That's something else" Sora said "I also need to speak to that Shiba woman, she had birthed a child and I want to know if she will be resigning from her position of Info guy"

"I see" Miss Lux replied "the next flight I can arrange is two days from now"

"Book it!" he said "fear not little Toshiro" he said his eyes sparkling with tears of fatherly love "daddy's coming to town…it's gonna be a party"

***Change***

Nearly ten hours after Yoruichi stole this car Soifon found herself speeding down a straight highway toward the Al-Jazira region. She still didn't have a valid driver's licence but Yoruichi didn't seem to mind, in fact whilst Soifon drove Yoruichi snored loudly in the passenger seat. They'd crossed the border into Israel and then got into Syria and now it was four o'clock in the morning and Soifon was braking the speed limit by a considerable amount, she didn't particularly care, the last person who'd pulled them over got knocked out by Yoruichi who was still venting her frustration at not getting to fight those cultists or whatever they were.

Eventually as Soifon yawned she noticed the sky grew a little pink behind a mountain range in the distance. "Those mountains" Yoruichi said giving her a fright. "That's where we're going"  
"That's where the tower of Babel is?" Soifon asked

"Yep" Yoruichi stretched and yawned. Soifon made no attempt to hide her ogling; Yoruichi was like a work of art, made to be admired.

It took nearly three hours to reach the mountain range which Soifon spent sleeping after switching places with Yoruichi. She was eventually woken up by Yoruichi placing kisses on her mouth and cheeks. Groaning and rubbing her nose Soifon opened her eyes and stared into Yoruichi gorgeous eyes. "Morning sleepy head" Yoruichi grinned

"Hey" Soifon said. She opened the door and stepped out leaving Yoruichi staring after her looking slightly confused.

"I thought you wanted me to get intimate and now you can't be bothered?" Yoruichi asked staring at her.

"No" Soifon said "I just…" Yoruichi was right of course, she couldn't be bothered, Yoruichi, despite all her magnificent qualities would never settle down, she was always up and moving around. They'd never once spent a night in watching a movie and snuggling. Maybe she really wasn't cut out to be Yoruichi's wife…

Yoruichi stepped out of the car and stared at the map. Soifon stared at the scenery. Yoruichi had partially driven up a mounting pass and Soifon was left staring out over a steep cliff, crags and rocky slopes. "That river" Yoruichi said "it's one of the tributaries that leads into the Euphrates river, it also makes a cave about…two miles downstream that is our road to Babel"

"Alright" Soifon said "shall we go?"

"Yes" Yoruichi said smiling "I'm really curious to see what the ruins of Babel look like, apparently it was the tallest tower in the world"  
Like…Burj Khalifa tall?"  
"I doubt it" Yoruichi said

They started on their way down a steep path that had been made by goats or something. The cliff face was a sheer drop of about a hundred metres, death for sure if they were unlucky enough to fall. "You want another cookie?" Yoruichi said holding out the packet.

"Sure" Soifon said

"You're a sucker for cookies" Yoruichi said handing her the packet. She let go of it too soon and it fell to the ground.

"Butterfingers" Soifon chuckled bending down to pick it up. As she bent the cliff wall where her head had been a second ago burst as a bullet stuck it.

"Fuck!" Yoruichi said staring out over the mountains. Soifon saw it the same time as she did. The Sun reflecting off a lens of some kind. "Sniper!" Yoruichi said "Run!" Soifon didn't need to be told twice, she started to make her way quickly down the path. There was another 'whip' of a flying bullet and Yoruichi cried out holding her shoulder. "This guy is too good, jump!"

"What?" Soifon said looking down the sheer drop

"JUMP NOW!"

They both leapt off of the path and fell.

[End of Chapter 33]

**I was half expecting Shadowknight to have reviewed my other Yuri, since it was a bleach one and almost every bleach yuri Shadow's probably read…maybe YoruichixNel is too obscure for some people. **

** Anyway, you can expect chapter 34 probably tomorrow. Who is the mysterious organisation after them? Papal Knights? Illuminati? The Breakfast Club? I do urge you to check out my other story, I put a shit ton of effort into it, much more than this one. **


	34. Chapter 34:Nimrod

Soifon found herself uncharacteristically screaming as they fell down the cliff toward the river below. "Oh shiiiiiiit!" Yoruichi wailed just before they hit the water. Soifon landed a few seconds after Yoruichi and with a painful splash she was underwater. The cool fresh water quickly replaced the clamminess of the Middle Eastern climate with a refreshing punch. Realising she'd probably have to breathe Soifon swam upwards toward the light of the sun.

Bursting out of the water she took a deep breath. The river's current carried her with relative speed down the canyon. Yoruichi burst through the surface a few seconds after her gasping for air. "That was fun" she said grinning

"You're insane!" Soifon said paddling toward the bank.

"Wait up" Yoruichi said swimming after her. Reaching the bank she glanced to see if she could see where the sniper was but they were out of their line of sight. Damn that was intense, Soifon thought as she pulled her t-shirt off and wrung it out.

Yoruichi started off toward the cave. Soifon decided against telling her that she may not be able to find the Temple of Solomon as she'd just got her maps wet. Yoruichi, however, seemed to have thought exactly the same thing as she stopped and pulled the mulchy ruined maps out of her coat. "Oh god dammit!" She wailed throwing them at a rock. They comically stuck there only to be kicked off by Yoruichi. With a splash the soaked ball of paper disappeared into the river.

"I remember where Babel is, come on" Yoruichi said not looking at her and crossing her arms. She continued to walk. Soifon followed dragging her feet, now it was Yoruichi giving her the cold shoulder. Maybe she should just call it a day…maybe this was the end, how it'd ever be, Yoruichi on an adventure with Soifon forever staring at her back. Was she not exalted in Yoruichi's presence? Was Yoruichi not the cement on her bricks, the gold on her circuit board, the cheese on her pizza? Why were they drifting apart now?

Soifon slipped her semi-dry t-shirt back on and picked up her pace, god only knows who's lurking around out here. This shithole was like something out of 'The Hills Have Eyes' she'd really rather be back in Rukon, chilling with Momo and Toshiro. Hiyori and Mashiro had disappeared along with Shinji and his buddies; apparently they decided to make a comeback as the Visored. Of course Bambietta and Hanataro were in Venice living the romantic lifestyle. Bambietta had become a published writer, she wrote under the Pen Name 'Faline' which was a pun on the fact Faline was Bambi's friend in the Bambi movie. Hanataro was of course on a full ride university degree to become a doctor.

After about an hour of walking Yoruichi stopped in front of a cave mouth which had what looked like an Illuminati all-seeing eye carved into the rock. "Yoruichi…" Soifon said "are we pissing off the Illuminati?"

"I hope not" Yoruichi said running her finger over the symbol "I most certainly don't"

"We'd better hurry before that Sniper gets a new vantage point" Soifon said glancing nervously over her shoulder.

"You're right" Yoruichi said. She stepped into the darkness and walked straight back out "there is…there is a tiger in there"

"A…what?" Soifon peered into the darkness and surely enough, beneath a single ray of sunlight a fully grown Bengal Tiger dozed on a rock "Why is that there!?" Soifon half whispered half exclaimed

"I don't know" Yoruichi said "come on"  
"What!" Soifon said. Yoruichi rolled her eyes and disappeared into the cave. "Hey…wait" Soifon said chasing after her. Yoruichi managed five metres into the cavern before the Tiger stirred and raised its massive head. It fixed them a glare with its menacing amber eyes. "Shit, shit, shit" Soifon said

"Stop panicking" Yoruichi said not removing her eyes from the Tiger. From where Soifon stood it looked like Yoruichi was having a staring contest with it.  
"What are you doing!?" Soifon exclaimed. Yoruichi continued to glare at the tiger… the tiger eventually cracked and lay back down.

"You're just a lonely big sap aren't you?" Yoruichi said jumping up on its rock and running her hand through its fur. The tiger let out a growl of affection and rubbed its head on her. "I'd love to stay longer but I've got some stuff to do!"

"Whoa" Soifon said "you never said you were the freekin Cat Whisperer"

"It never came up in conversation" Yoruichi said "I'm a catty woman. Why do you think I had a cat?"

"Can we just go?" Soifon said. She remembered Shunko, Yoruichi had left him in the company of Bambietta and Hanataro. It was actually quite fascinating, Yoruichi being able to tame a tiger! She'd never seen anything like it before. Just another thing that made Yoruichi better than her.

Yoruichi stood up and gave the tiger one last stroke and walked toward a torch lit pathway. "I wonder who lit these" Soifon said

"They look like they're fed by a series of tiny trickles of…hexane"

"You mean there is an oil vein under this place?" Soifon said sniffing the air that was thick with the smell of petroleum, it smelt like a Gas Station here.

"Perhaps" Yoruichi said "I've heard a rumour of a rumour that there is a massive Oil build up underneath Syria that was kept under wraps by the Russian Government in case the Oil up North drained away and they'd have some spare"

"Some serious CCCP shit right there" Soifon said

"Hmm" Yoruichi mumbled before grinning "I guess we'll just have to be wary of people with umbrellas from now on"

Soifon plucked a torch from the wall and walked with it. This corridor was obviously carved, it was straight and at the end there was a door. A large stone thing with what looked like letters on cylindrical dial. "Obviously we have to spell something to get through" Yoruichi said spinning one of the dials. With a loud and rather unnerving rumble another stone door descended locking them in the tunnel. "Why don't a like what's just about to happen?" Yoruichi said. Almost as if on cue the floor in front of the door exploded in fire, the jets of flame would incinerate someone in seconds and as Soifon noticed the blackened bones of a skeleton she felt it might just be her and Yoruichi next.

"Yoruichi, that fire is coming toward us" Soifon said as another section of the floor burst into flames. They had maybe five more metres before they were burned alive. "How do you open the door?"  
"I don't know!" Yoruichi said wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. She grabbed Soifon's torch and held it up to the door and then it's surrounding masonry.

"Wait!" Yoruichi said, she ran the torch over a phrase. Quid enim maius est, quam Deus? It said

"What does that mean?"

"What is greater than God?"

"What?" Soifon said as another metre of the floor ignited. She saw more of the inscription: quod pejores diabolic?

"More Evil than the Devil?"

"I don't know!" Soifon said. Another section of the floor exploded. The Rest of the inscription went: pauper obviaverunt, dives non, Si comederitis tu mortem!

"The poor have it, the rich do not and if you eat it you die" Yoruichi translated

"I…uh Nothing?" Soifon said jumping back as the floor beneath her feet grew red hot.

"N…O…T…" Yoruichi said as she spelt it out

"Wait!" Soifon snapped "Latin?"

"Shit" Yoruichi said quickly rearranging the letters "Nihil"

The door let out a grumble and started to descend. "Holy, fucking, Jesus crap!" Soifon wailed as the floor beneath their feet begun to ignite.

"Jump!" Yoruichi said leaping over the descending door. Soifon followed suit and jumped. Pain seared up her leg as her jeans were burnt, luckily they were still a little wet from the river so they never caught fire.

"I…hate…this" Soifon groaned on the floor. Yoruichi looked down at her, her golden eyes glowing in the light of the fire. Eventually she grinned and said

"Well that dried me off" she turned and looked… more like stared open mouthed. "I…I've never seen anything like it"

"What?" Soifon said pulling herself off of the floor. "Whoa" Soifon said. The only thing she could liken it to was that underground temple in Alien Vs Predator. The Tower it's self-stood perfectly intact, lit by more torches it stood maybe a hundred metres tall, not very big by today's standards but Soifon could imagine people gazing in awe at it back in the old days. The tower looked like a combination of a pyramid and the leaning tower of Pisa. Or at least it had the same type of architecture.

"There's something you don't see every day" Yoruichi said walking toward it. The tower stood on an island in the centre of a large lake. The cavern it was located in was massive, maybe a mile wide at it' shortest. "Do you think since the Tower of Babel exists that means God exists?" Yoruichi said

"Not really" Soifon said "If God existed he'd have given me a break in live at least"

"Am I not a break?" Yoruichi said giving her a sideways glance

"I considered killing myself" Soifon said

"Aren't you glad you didn't?" Yoruichi laughed. Soifon scowled at her back, she could be so insensitive sometimes. "Now I don't see a boat"

"Just swim" Soifon said

"Notice how the banks of the lake are coated with gold" Yoruichi said she bent down and picked up a rock and dunked it in the water taking care not to put her fingers in the water. Eventually she took the rock back out and showed Soifon the rock which was almost completely dissolved.

"Acid?" Soifon said

"Yep" she said "by the looks of it and the smell I'd say it was Sulphuric"

"Not good" Soifon said. She looked around the bank "hey there is a rope bridge there"

"So there is" Yoruichi said squinting, sometimes Soifon wondered if Yoruichi needed glasses, she seemed quite short sighted. Yoruichi started on her way around the acid lake. "So many traps for one item" Yoruichi said

"Maybe it's not just this Millennium Item that is here" Soifon said "who knows what Biblical item is here"

"What like Helena's Nail?"

"Maybe" Soifon said

"I'd like to get my hands on the staff of Moses, or maybe…" she trailed off and stared twinkly eyed at the tower. Maybe this is where Nimrod is buried.

"Who dat?" Soifon said

"The Mighty Hunter Nimrod" Yoruichi said "he makes the God King Xerxes look like a petulant child"

"Oh"  
"He was the OG of the old days, Midas, Ramses, Ceaser, they've got nothing on this guy. Apparently he's a Demon"

"Okay" Soifon said looking at the rope bridge it didn't look particularly stable. Yoruichi didn't seem to mind; in fact she just mounted it and walked across the corroded wooden places with a cheery smile on her face. Soifon waited until she was at the other side before getting on the swaying bridge over bubbling deathly acid that'd burn her supple flesh right off her bones. She quickly made her way across only pausing once when the plank she stepped on groaned unsettlingly.

"Hurry up" Yoruichi said crossing her arms

"I do apologise" Soifon snapped "I just want to keep my skin"

"Speed it up then" Yoruichi said. Soifon sighed and jogged the remaining few metres of the bridge and landed on solid stone scowling at Yoruichi. The main entrance was a large stone arch that was decorated with statues of angels which made Soifon wish she hadn't seen that episode of Dr Who. The floor was polished marble that was covered in symbols. "Enochian" Yoruichi said "the language of Angels, I hope we're not pissing off something worse than the Illuminati"

"The language of Angels?" Soifon said inspecting the symbols that were all arranged so as they made a huge seal.

"That seal" Yoruichi said "it's the Sigil of Astaroth"

"Another demon?" Soifon said

"Yep" Yoruichi replied "I think it's creepily suspicious that Astaroth is often likened to the Babylonian deity…Ishtar"

"Ishtar, huh?" Soifon said prodding a statue. She considered many times that this Marik kid was not throwing a straight one but she didn't know how deep it was.

"Let's continue our journey, shall we?" Yoruichi said raising an eyebrow at Soifon who rested her palm on the bare breast of an Angel statue. Red faced she snatched her hand away and stalked down the corridor with her hands in her pockets. The burn on her leg was a bit nippy but it wasn't 3rd degree or anything so she wasn't threatened particularly. "Caution" Yoruichi added "you never know if there are any tricks or traps lying around"

"Eyes peeled" Soifon muttered paying most attention to the floor.

Eventually they came to a staircase. "Do you think we'll just be able to get through this without any traps getting at us?" Yoruichi said taking a step on the staircase. After they were up about three steps there was another rumble. "That can't be good" Yoruichi said looking back. The first step fell away, then the second. "Run!" Yoruichi said sprinting up the stairs. Soifon followed, her foot just off the third as it fell.

The pace of the falling stairs picked up and Soifon found herself panicking as the stairs caught right up to her. "Hurry!" She shouted pushing Yoruichi

"I suck at running up stairs!" Yoruichi replied, almost screamed in fact. Soifon took two at a time and still it wasn't fast enough. The stairs were right on her heels now.

"Nearly there!" Yoruichi said. Soifon saw the top of the stairs as they ran.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap" Soifon wailed as she took one final jump onto the solid floor. Except the stair her foot was on dropped and she started to fall. With a startled cry she grabbed out and luckily her fingers found the edge of the floor and she was left hanging there panting.

Eventually she hauled herself up and stared cantankerously at Yoruichi "What the fuck was that!?" She shouted shoving her.

"What?" Yoruichi said looking at her

"I nearly died!" Soifon said "you could've lent a hand you know…when I was falling to my death!"

"I never saw" Yoruichi said rather absent minded "I can't bail you out all of the time"

"Whatever" Soifon snapped

"Anma Obloc ol olid vovin da Nimrod!" came a croaking voice from a room to their left. It was lit by yet more fire and was full of more statues.

"Who's there?" Yoruichi said

"Lrasd Ol Yoruichi Shihouin" came the croaking reply

"What language is he speaking?" Soifon said "how does he know your name?"

"Enochian" Yoruichi replied "I think Lrasd means garlic…or is it to eliminate…gosh I can't remember"

They entered the large cavernous room that right at the end, on a pedestal, a large golden ring with an eye on it sat. "Is that a Millennium Item?" Soifon said

"OI Millennium Item" came the croaking voice. The speaker eventually revealed themselves, walking slowly out from behind the pedestal. Soifon almost let her eyes bulge out of her skull. Yoruichi merely stared and let her mouth drop open…

"What…the fuck is that!"

***switch perspective…don't ask why***

Yoruichi lowered her brow and stared, that was a zombie…there was no questioning it. The black robed figure stalked toward them, its skin was decomposed and covered in pustules. It regarded them with empty eyes...literally, it had no eyes. "Z-Zombie" Soifon said backing away a little.  
"Lit-Teloc olani oai" it said, it's voice held power, Yoruichi couldn't describe it, it was like being too close to a nuclear reactor, just knowing what lay inside that container was enough to make the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"So you're the guardian of this item?" Yoruichi said

"I…am" the creature said "I am a Golem"

"You look more like a Zombie" Yoruichi said

"Un-death is one of the many gifts granted to me by the Illuminati for my services"

"And what are your services?" Yoruichi asked crossing her arms.

"Funny you should ask" The Golem said. It whipped out a scroll and begun to read. "TORZV OFECVA NIMROD!" it roared. The Tower gave another shudder and the large plinth that the Millennium Item rested on shook. Looking at it Yoruichi thought it looked a bit more like a sarcophagus than a plinth.

This of course was confirmed when its lid fell open to reveal a corpse of a man dressed in old Babylonian garb. "He's a big guy" Yoruichi said noting that the body was at least seven feet tall.

"Awaken Nimrod!" The Golem said. Nimrod's eye lids opened to reveal two bright golden eyes, eyes that were very similar to her own. "You may be descended from the Asura's of Zoroaster, Miss Shihouin but you are no match for a direct descendant of Gilgamesh himself!"

"That's the thing about Zombies" Yoruichi said to Soifon over her shoulder "they name drop like sons of bitches, I'll have you know I met Robert Downey Jr once…we never actually spoke but I waved"

"I think we should run away" Soifon said

"Bullshit" Yoruichi said. There was no way she was missing a chance to fight a Zombie "I've played enough Skyrim to know that this is a boss fight"

"I never knew you were a gamer girl"

"I'm not" Yoruichi said scowling before doing a pose "I'm a gamer _woman_"

Nimrod said nothing. He stepped forward and pulled a sword that was easily bigger than the average claymore off of his back and pointed it at her with one hand. "Don't I get a weapon?"

"Did you not bring one with you?" the Golem said

"No"

"Then I'm afraid you're out of luck then" Yoruichi tutted and looked at the angel statues, they all held stone swords that were unlikely to help against Nimrod, she also had a .45 tucked into her trousers but that also would be useless.

"Soifon" she said "wanna be my wingman on this?"

"Not really" Soifon said but she yanked a stone sword from a stone angel's grip. This was a big mistake. Another rumble ensued and all of the angels began to slowly move. "Fuck" Soifon said after groaning loudly. "I'll get rid of the angels; you get Nimrod and Nimrod's nimrod"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said watching as Nimrod made his way toward her. She ducked under one of the stone angels swinging a clumsy blow for her head she used a disarming move and yanked the sword from the angel's grip. She swung the sword and smashed its head. "Smashing the heads kills them!" She said to Soifon who'd already racked up quite the body count.

"I know!" She said back

"Attack, Nimrod!" the Golem yelled before running away to safety.

Nimrod barrelled forward and swung that huge sword, he was fast. Yoruichi ducked under the sword and brought her foot up kicking the flat part of the blade. This threw his balance off and she swung the stone sword for his neck. He raised an arm and blocked it with some kind of metal gauntlet on his arm. "Fuck me, you stink!" Yoruichi said backing away from the embalmed undead corpse. She pulled out the .45 and fired her entire clip into its head.

Nimrod was barely affected by the flying lead and continued his onslaught of strong unlockable swings and powerful palm thrusts with that gauntlet clad arm. "I should call you Nemesis rather than Nimrod" Yoruichi chuckled as she dodged a swing from him and also a thrusting stab from one of the animated stone angels. She disarmed that angel and stood before Nimrod with two white stone swords in either hand.

"What is it Bambietta used to say…" Yoruichi said "oh yes…Come at me bro!" he obeyed and swung again, this time with both swords Yoruichi blocked it by crossing them over. She swished them apart throwing his balance off and did a twirling seven slash combo. The undead monster spilled out Formaldehyde and roared at her. Its lipless mouth constantly twisted into a grin or more a sneer.

Soifon, finished with the stone angels tossed a stone sword at Nimrod; he smashed it away with his sword and caught another. Soifon continued to pick up swords and expertly throw them at Nimrod. One even managed to get through his defences and bury itself deep in his shoulder.

Yoruichi darted forward and buried another sword into his chest. "Meretix!" Nimrod spat

"How dare you" Yoruichi said smiling slightly "I'm a respectable woman." He grabbed her and threw her back and swung his sword for Soifon. Soifon narrowly managed to jump over the blade and slash at him with another sword; they were fast running out of useable blades.

He stuck out his hand and grabbed Soifon. With his sword he aimed a stab. Yoruichi intervened before he could and held his arm with both hands. Damn it, he was so strong! "Let her go!" she said

"Non!"

"Do it!"

"Numquam" he said. Yoruichi twisted his arm and the bone broke. With another gut wrenching roar he released Soifon and drove a metal fist into the side of her head.

She was thrown off her feet by the force and was left on the ground dazed. The world spun and convulsed as she struggled to get her brain back to its original state. Nimrod approached her with the sword in his other hand. She slowly got to her feet as Soifon slashed at him again; he dodged it rather nimbly and kicked her stomach. With a pained groan Soifon was flung over ten feet. She landed nimbly on a pillar and jumped off. Descending on Nimrod with her sword held above her head she let out a roar. Yoruichi fainted around Nimrod and grabbed his sword arm into a lock.

Soifon's attack struck his neck and with a thwack his head rolled right off his shoulders. With a spray of embalming fluid his body went limp and crashed to the ground. "Congratulations" the Golem said pointing an MP40 at them "now die" Yoruichi dived to the side grabbing Nimrod's claymore as she went. Tossing it with all her strength the blade flashed through the air and buried itself right through his chest. He let out a squeal and was thrown off his feet. Yoruichi wasted no time, she skirted up toward the plinth and ripped the sword from the Golems chest and sliced his head off with one clean slash.

"Booyah!" Yoruichi said making a pose with the sword.

"That was…intense" Soifon said scratching her head "we're gonna get some decent weapons, I mean my and your father had those Katana's what have we got?"

"Perhaps we should pick them up when we are in Rukon, our fathers would be proud to see us wield their swords for such a noble cause"

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Soifon said

"What do you mean?" Yoruichi said

"This place, it was marked by the Illuminati, I just… I don't want to get on the bad side of yet another secret society"

"Don't worry about it" Yoruichi said

"But…  
"Enough!" Yoruichi snapped. She ignored Soifon's complaining and walked up to the Millennium…Ring. Taking it from it's holder she weighed it in her hands. It felt quite light, it was a necklace so she wrapped it around her neck. The little decorations seemed to start quivering and moving. They all pointed in a concise direction…toward Soifon. Yoruichi stare curiously at it. "It's magical" Soifon said "I preferred it when Magic didn't exist"  
"I think you're r…" Yoruichi trailed off when another of those rumbles echoed through the tower. "What now?" Yoruichi said. In the distance of the corridor which was actually rather long a tiny light shone.

"Holy shit" Soifon said

"What is it?" Yoruichi said cursing her short sightedness

"Fire!"

"Fuck" Yoruichi yelled. She looked around, was there a way out, only a window. She ran up to it and looked out. "C'mon"

"Okay" Soifon said running after her. Yoruichi tossed Nimrod's sword aside and briefly wondered what the Golem had meant by a descendant of an Asura?

Yoruichi looked down the tower again. It was a long way down but the approaching inferno quickly persuaded her that it was the right direction to go. Yoruichi jumped and was quickly followed by Soifon. They landed on the floor beneath them nimbly as fire exploded out of the tower above them. Yoruichi put her hands over her head as the incinerating jet of fire spilt out over the canyon. The walls of the cavern caught fire and started to burn blue. "Soifon, not to alarm you but that large deposit of oil is just about to go on fire"

"Then let's go!" Soifon said. They jumped to the next floor and then the one under than and then onto the ground, the Millennium Ring was only on the fourth floor and there was still at lead another six more above that. God only knows what else lurked in there!

They quickly navigated the rope bridge and made their way toward the exit. Unfortunately the blue fire of the burning wall completely covered their exit. "There must be another way!" Soifon said. Yoruichi looked around, in the distance she could see a faint light, rather than orange or blue like fire it was white like outside light. "This way!" Yoruichi said running toward the light.

"Wait" Soifon said struggling to release her foot from a pot hole.  
"Stop wasting time!" Yoruichi said continuing to run. Soifon yanked her foot from the hole with a rather venomous looking scowl directed at Yoruichi. She paid it no heed and continued to run, Soifon close behind her.

The fire suddenly exploded outward covering the entire opposite side of the cave with fire. Yoruichi picked up her pace, heat and smoke seared her lungs as she ran, sweat dripped from her face and arms. The eventually reached the exit cave and began running down the rocky cave. With a yell Soifon fell over, damn she was so clumsy on her feet.  
"C'mon!" Yoruichi said holding out her hand. Soifon scowled and smacked her hand away and pulled herself up. Yoruichi's eyes widened as the fire burst down the cave toward. "Shit" Yoruichi yelled and turned and began to run again, faster than she had ever ran before, her almost superhuman strength putting her running speed up to nearly 30MPH, she'd probably have broken a world record if it was recorded. Soifon was surprisingly keeping up.

The fire was right behind them, were they going to make it? She jumped as they reached the threshold of the cave and for a brief second she was in mid-air. Flames exploded out of the cave as she fell onto the ground. Luckily the mouth of the cave was a bit above the ground and the jet of fire missed roasting them by a few feet. Damn that was too close!

Soifon panted on the ground next to her, her breaths more like wheezes than pants. Sitting up Yoruichi found herself staring down the barrel of a .45. "S'up" Shura said

"Damn" Yoruichi said, with a quick gesture she smacked Shura's hand away and stopped when with her left she pointed another gun at her.

"I ain't stupid you know" She said smiling and taking two steps back and keeping one gun trained on Soifon and one on Yoruichi. "Hand it over then"

"Fine" Yoruichi said sighed, she pulled the Millennium Ring off and tossed it to Shura, she made no move to catch it merely letting it bounce off her chest at land on the ground. She was no amateur that was sure.

"Thanks" Shura grinned before catching the Millennium Ring with her foot and flicking it up and into a bag. She pulled a smoke grenade out and tossed it at their feet.

It burst and spewed out acrid smoke that left her stumbling around disorientated for about five minutes before it cleared. "Damn it!" Yoruichi said looking around for Shura "C'mon she can't have gotten far" she added starting in the direction Shura had stood.  
"Yoruichi" Soifon said with obvious sadness in her voice.

"What?" She said turning, two tears streaked down Soifon's face

"I can't do this anymore" she said letting out a light sob "I…I'm going home"  
"Soi…" Yoruichi stared as she turned and walked away. Pieces of a tiny puzzle eventually slotted themselves together as Soifon left, her not wanting Yoruichi's help because Yoruichi hadn't helped her when her leg was trapped. She couldn't bring herself to chase after Soifon. You've fucked up Yoruichi; she thought, you've fucked up real bad.

[End of Chapter 34]


	35. Chapter 35: Home

"Last call for the 12:15 to Rukon" said a woman through a Tannoy. Soifon flashed her ticket to a guard.

"What brings you to Rukon Miss Feng?" the man said in broken English

"Going home" she said. He seemed to accept this as a liable answer and let her plod depressedly through to the plane. A stewardess plucked the ticket from her hands and looked at it. "Seat 15A that's there" she pointed.

"Thanks" Soifon's said she walked over to her seat and sat down heavily the thoughts of her abandonment of Yoruichi still fresh in her mind. It'd just been too much they just couldn't do anything without something trying to kill them. Yoruichi was still as selfish and insensitive as ever, she'd always complained about Soifon not showing her emotions good but it was actually the other way around. Soifon rarely got what Yoruichi was really thinking and if she did it was usually too much information or something that was completely ridiculous, like rather than run away from the un-dead Nemesis zombie she'd rather fight it, who does that!

Soifon plugged in her iPod and closed her eyes, paying no heed to the other passengers. "So…" someone beside her said over the noise of the engines and her earphones "what are you listening to?"

"Nirvana" Soifon muttered before going to put her earphones back in  
"Oh, yeah, what song?"

"The Man who sold the world" Soifon replied "now if you don't mind" He shrugged and got back to reading what looked like an erotic manga.

"Do you drink?" he asked as Soifon changed songs

"No" she replied rolling her eyes

"Me neither" he said "my…partner drinks too much, she can't handle it, getting smashed and losing whole days"

"Good for her" Soifon said. She flicked through to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, it really summed up how she was feeling about Yoruichi. Soifon, fought serial killers, Immortal politicians and animated stone angels…defeated by love. Soifon chewed on her chewing gum as the plane began to rise rapidly into the sky, leaving her stomach somewhere down below.

After five minutes of elevation and chewing the plane levelled off and her ears got accustomed to the height. The guy beside her stirred again as if he wanted to ask her another inane question. She glared at him hoping it'd scare him off but it seemed to encourage him. "So why are you off to Rukon all alone?" he said

"I could ask you the same thing" Soifon said noting that he had no one with him. In terms of looks he had black hair, blue eyes and quite prominent canine teeth.

"I'm hoping to make a new life in the glorious Hawaiian climate" he chuckled

"And you come to Rukon to do it?"  
"What's wrong with Rukon?"

"It'd be easier to list all the things that were right" Soifon said. He chuckled

"I've been in some rough towns in my time" he said "though it is Christmas tomorrow, I assume you're gonna be spending it with your family?"  
"Pretty much" Soifon said.

"The name is RIn" he grinned "Rin Okumura"  
"Like Japanese for a demon?" Soifon said giving him a sideways glance. Briefly his blue eyes flashed with painful memories, another lost soul drawn toward Rukon, another sorrowful past, just like Soifon.

"Strange ring" he said looking at the piece of wire that was wrapped in yellow cloth. Soifon hadn't the guts to get an actual wedding band, the makeshift ring symbolised much more than marriage, it symbolised their love and their will to overcome all obstacles. Perhaps this was merely an obstacle to overcome too.

"It's a wedding ring" Soifon said

"Wedding?" he said with visible upset in his voice. Soifon's eyes widened as she realised…all this time he was hitting on her. How had she not realised it!? Shaking her head slightly she plugged her earphones back in.

The flight was long and it didn't help that Rin seemed to be a fan of music that required a shit ton of air drumming to listen to. He'd gone on to explain how 'Nightwish' were the most superior band in the world. Soifon hadn't cared to tell him that it was impossible to label a borderline Pagan Rock band as the best but she felt it might break his fragile little heart as he, sparkly eyed, spoke about the time he'd went to see Aesma Daeva live.

Eventually the plane landed on Rukongai soil and Soifon stood up and stretched, Rin close behind she got off the plane and got though all of the custom checks. "So where are you staying if you don't have a family?" Rin said. When they were on the plane Soifon had unwittingly revealed most of her life story, Rin for the most part sat a listened quietly, too quietly for a teenage boy.

"I stay at a place called the Kotowari Centre" Soifon said looking up at the bright sun. The plane ride had been damn long but they'd kept in the daylight the entire time, in fact the time had actually only advanced by two hours.

"That's neat" Rin said "I'm gonna be staying in a motel or something until I find a job"

"So you'll be staying in Seireitei?" Soifon asked

"Probably" Rin said "a lot of people moved away after that Terrorist blew up a nuke above the city"

"Oh yeah"  
"Did you see it?" he asked

"The Nuke?" Soifon asked

"Yeah"

"Oh yeah" Soifon said smiling slightly "I saw everything"

"Cool" he said "they never did catch that terrorist who killed the governor"

"No they didn't" Soifon said remembering the search for Nel and Candice's bodies which were mysteriously gone. There was no way they could have survived that fall though so someone must've collected them.

"Well" Soifon said breathing the fresh air of Rukon "bye then" she turned and walked leaving Rin watching her walk. Rin did stare after her as she walked

"Damn" he muttered "she's got a nice ass" he phone rang shortly after he'd spoken

"Yo" Shura said "you in her panties yet"

"Of course not" Rin said scowling "she's a lesbian, how the hell am I supposed to get in bed with her?"  
"She's not a lesbian" Shura said "she's a Yoruichi-sexual"

"A what?" Rin said cocking an eyebrow

"Yoruichi needs her own classification, it ain't gay if you fuck her" Shura chuckled "she's just too much of a treat to ignore but hurry up I want to destroy this bitch"

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Rin said "Soifon seems very upset"

"So?" Shura said "that just means she'll be easy"  
"What!?" Rin exclaimed "You can be such a cruel bitch, you know that?"

"Oh yeah" Shura said chuckling "but Yoruichi had bitten off much more than she can chew fucking with me"  
"How did she fuck with you again?"  
"I ain't a scientist" Shura snapped "how should I know, but she's entered the Lion's Den and so help me god I will make away with one of her arms at least"

"You need a hobby" Rin said

"I had a hobby"

"Chronic masturbation isn't a hobby" Rin said "anyway, I'm gonna have to book into a motel, you still alright letting me use your credit card?"  
"Yeah, just don't maximise it" Shura said "and Rin…"

"What?"

"Rukon is a dangerous place, for god sake watch who you're talking to and what you say"

"Yeah"

"Bye-bye!"

***Change***

Sora strolled toward the Roman Candle, the faint sound of a bar fight echoed from inside. Typical of Kukaku to have such a rowdy crowd inside. Killing Kaien was regrettable but…it had to be done, he had uncovered something and was about to blab it to his sister, he knew that Ryo had made a five hundred and eighty-four step plan in killing Aizen and unfortunately Kaien was going to spoil it, Ryo said not to kill him but Sora didn't take orders from rich kids, killing Kaien was his way of saying he didn't want to be affiliated with Ryo or his stupid gangsters.

He pushed open the door and observed a very large man with spiked hair and another man with electric blue hair having a punch up. They were skilled and ferocious fighters, they'd make good additions to his team but he wasn't recruiting so they were going on a list.

Kukaku never noticed him enter, no one did, that was one of his many talents, he could blend in, look inconspicuous despite looking so conspicuous it was unreal. Shaggy white hair, intelligent teal eyes and a sky blue kimono draped loosely over his shoulders. He sat on a bar stool and said "I'd like a cero" Kukaku's eyes went to him and nearly bulged right out of her skull. He could see the obvious fear in her eyes so much that many of the people around the bar noticed it to and fixed Sora with some glances. Who was this man who'd scared Kukaku half to death with a single sentence, this guy who seemed quite slim and a little sickly, with dark shadows under his bright eyes, this man who had no bodyguards and assistants with him?

"You've come" Kukaku said putting her hand over his branding Tattoo that her brother had tried to convince her not to get.

"I couldn't ignore a woman such as yourself plopping out a Kukaku Jr" he said

"I called her Masaki" Kukaku said

"How sweet" Sora said "I believe I asked for a Cero…you still make those right?"  
"Yeah" Kukaku said narrowing her eyes slightly, she was trying to figure him out. By now even the two men had finished their fight with the blue haired one obviously taking more hits. He plopped down beside him and said

"Same, Kukaku"

"Yeah, okay" Kukaku said flashing him a warning glance. She handed them both their drinks and eventually said "Why are you here, Sora?"

"It's Christmas!" he grinned "I just had to come here and see little Toshiro"  
"Toshiro?" Kukaku said "how did you know he was here?"  
"Thanks for telling me by the way" he said sarcastically "I think you purposely hid it from me; I think I might have to give you a spanking. I ran into a peculiar woman called Yoruichi"

Mutters echoes through the room and Kukaku's eyes widened again. "Don't worry" Sora chuckled "she wasn't on my bad side but since she stole my car I'm going to have to…see to her"

"Damn it" Kukaku said under her breath

"Anyway back to business" Sora said "I've hear information that Marik Ishtar is hunting for the Millennium Items and he's hired good old Yoruichi to help him"

"What!?" Kukaku almost exclaimed

"I know" Sora said "as a member of the Tombkeeper Society I should've put a bullet in her forehead and buried her in the desert"

"Why didn't you?"  
"I wanna see if it works" he said

"You're insane" Kukaku said

"You certainly took your time to figure that one out" Sora said "do not fret my busty comrade I've got my best woman on her she's already procured one of the Items. Once she's got all of them I'll chop her up and bury her in the desert then destroy the items. We don't need another item as strong as the Hogyoku out there"

"I thought you said she was your best woman?"  
"She's not technically my woman" he smirked "she doesn't know she's merely a puppet dancing on the palm of my hand. She's very good in bed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" the blue haired guy said jerking a thumb toward him

"He's my employer" Kukaku said shaking her head lightly as another warning not to make trouble. He didn't seem to heed it.

"He looks like a punier version of Toshiro"

"Hmm" Sora said "I recognise you now…Peter"

"What!?" he said widening his eyes  
"Am I not right?" Sora smiled "Peter Vasquez from Brooklyn New York, grew up fighting your way through the streets but that doesn't compare to how skilled you really were, became a Navy SEAL in three weeks, went through University twice getting a doctorate in anthropology and psychology but you couldn't control your anger, you found employment underneath Sosuke Aizen and renamed yourself to Grimmjow Jaegarjaquez. You relieved yourself from Aizen's subordination once he promoted a queer looking dude called Luppi into your position and now spend your free time humping Kukaku Shiba's leg"

"So… you've checked my Facebook" Grimmjow chuckled keeping how freaked out he was beneath a façade. Sora shrugged

"I consider many people to work for me" Sora said "you happen to be on that list. Not now of course I've got some people who are a tad more skilled and a shite sight more conspicuous than you"  
"Thanks" Grimmjow muttered.

A blonde man walked through holding Kukaku's drooling seed. A little cropping of black hair and bright blue eyes the kid looked a lot like her mother. He wondered if her chest would balloon out like her mother's too. "So" Sora said grinning slightly "this is the little nipper herself"  
"Yeah" Kukaku said placing herself between him and the child. Her husband seemed slightly confused but cradled the child a little tighter anyway.

"You think I'm some kind of monster who kills babies" Sora said  
"You are a monster who kills babies"  
"Okay, okay, okay" he laughed holding up his hands "that was back in the days I was rising in power, I had to be ruthless, poor old Kaien learnt that the hard way"

"You son of a bitch" Kukaku said.

"Hmm" Sora said cocking his head. He slowly put his hand under his Kimono, every single person tensed, was he about to pull a gun and shoot this new mother in front of battle hardened mercenaries? "Merry Christmas" Sora laughed pulling out a little present. He dropped it on the counter and downed his drink. Damn! He'd never kill a woman who could make a drink this good. In his eyes Kukaku was the one that got away, he liked her a lot but there was no way she'd love him now. Plenty more fish in the sea.

He stood up and left without a word. He had to go and see Toshiro and then threaten Shura's little assistant before he could give Yoruichi's little pet the sympathy for the devil routine. As he walked down the sunny footpath he smiled slightly, this town was a hellhole but the weather was good!

***Change***

Soifon grinned, she couldn't help it. Seeing the Kotowari Centre again filled her with joy. This time it didn't have the characterless fence around it…in fact it was nothing like its predecessor. It took the shape of an attractive castle that was built pristinely and with care. Despite being in one of the most rundown areas of town it looked quite humble there. She walked down the courtyard and stopped when she heard a sound that was a little like sucking…or kissing.

Her eyes eventually found the source of the noise. A hammock… she approached it cautiously and then smiled when she noticed Momo and Toshiro lying in it apparently trying to eat each other's heads. "Get a room you two" Soifon said. With a gasp Momo looked up at her. She jumped off the hammock comically sending Toshiro flying onto the grass

"Oh my god it's been so long!" She said grabbing Soifon into a hug. She pulled away and stared at her "you…eh…kind of-"

"Stink" Toshiro finished "I can smell you from here"

"I know" Soifon said "I've had the…craziest day"

"Tell us" Momo said

"Later" Soifon said "I'll tell everyone together" she tried to stay upbeat but her falling out with Yoruichi was going to arise eventually and it's make her sound like a spoiled child. Looking at Toshiro it was shocking how much he looked like his father, except Sora had shaggier hair.

"Why are you staring at me?" Toshiro demanded

"You've not got any taller" she said grinning. A vein throbbed on his forehead.

"Don't say that!" he yelled "I grew a millimetre!"

"Oh forgive me" Soifon laughed.

"So where were you?"

"The Tower of Babel" Soifon said

"B-Babel?" Toshiro said staring at her

"Yeah" Soifon said "not all it's cracked up to be"  
"Did you find the Lyre of Orpheus there?"  
"Nope" Soifon said "the Millennium Ring"

"Now…what would you want something like that for?" he said giving her a sideways glance

"Do you know what it does?"  
"Yeah" Toshiro said "Kisuke once mentioned it when we were watching Pirates of the Caribbean. You know there is that compass which points toward the thing you desire most?"  
"Yeah"  
"That's essentially what the Millennium Ring is" Toshiro said "where's Yoruichi?"  
"Dunno" Soifon said "probably fighting a monster or having an adventure"

"Monsters don't exist" Toshiro said. Soifon grabbed his head and put his face into her shoulder.  
"You smell that?"

"Hmmphmm" Toshiro said struggling

"That is monster" Soifon said

"So you've taken a break?"  
"Of sorts" Soifon said "I don't know if I'll return though"

"Uh-oh"

Once Soifon had greeted all of her friends she sat down and told her story leaving out the part with Sora and just pretended Yoruichi got the instructions to get there from Mr Glass.

"So…you fought the Zombie King Nimrod?" Renji said

"Yeah" Soifon said

"I'm jealous" he replied crossing his arms. Soifon looked back at the five other kids who'd been put onto the WISH programme since most of the second generation had moved on. Most of those kids were mean looking sociopaths. By now it was getting dark outside so Soifon said "I'm gonna go to "bed" she chuckled "I hope there is a room for me"

"Of course" Ukitake said standing up and leading her toward a door.

"So who is this bitch?" she heard one of the kids mutter to Toshiro. Toshiro merely scowled at the kid and crossed his arms, Aizen had made them all bond deeper than any friendship. Toshiro was more like a brother than a friend, Ukitake was more like a father than a jailer, Yoruichi…she was her entire world and what a lonely world that is.

Ukitake showed her to a sparsely decorated room that seemed to be arranged almost exactly like her old one. "Thanks" Soifon said

"You never spoke much about Yoruichi" Ukitake said "what happened?"  
"I don't know" Soifon replied "It's…I've been feeling lonely in her company, I just had to get out"

"I hope it's not the end of your relationship with Yoruichi, I've known her since she was a little girl, she might seem…arrogant but she always means well"  
"Perhaps" Soifon said "I'll have to think about it"

"You do that" Ukitake said. He flashed her a brief smile and left her to her room. She closed her door and pulled her t-shirt and jeans off.

Another Christmas spent without a lover. She pulled her socks off and slipped under the covers. Mismatched underwear and no clean clothes…she'd have to borrow something off of Momo. She drifted asleep sometime after thinking this and was eventually woken up in the dead of night by a soft knock on her door. "Who is it?"  
"Me" Rin said. Soifon raised an eyebrow

"Why are you here?" Soifon asked. Rin let himself in which made Soifon pull her covers up.

"I thought it'd suck being lonely on Christmas so I bought you a present"  
"I don't even know you" Soifon snapped "how did they let you in?"  
"I said I knew you" he said

"And they just…let you in?"  
"Yeah"

"I'm really gonna have to talk to them about that" Soifon muttered. He tossed her the small neatly wrapped box. She let go of her covers and caught it. He stared at her chest for a good thirty seconds before Soifon realised and pulled her covers up again. He sighed and sat on her bed.

"I know" Rin said "it's a really weird thing to do…but I couldn't stop thinking about you"  
"What do you mean?" Soifon said not liking where he was going with this.

He didn't reply he instead leaned over and kissed her. Taking the back of her head so she'd have to really push to break away he embraced her. She wasn't pulling away though, she was kissing him back. It shocked him slightly, he'd anticipated a bit more resistance from her but she'd let go of her covers revealing that gorgeous body of hers.

He put a hand on her waist and kicked his shoes off and pushed her back onto the bed. She let out a few of moans as he caressed her thigh. She pulled his t-shirt off and spread her legs so he could get closer to him. Whoa she was eager! The bare skin of his chest pressed against the softness of hers. Of course her bra was in the way but with an expert unclipping he removed it and cupped one of her breasts. Suddenly a fist struck the side of his head sending him off the side of the bed. "'The fuck are you doing!?" Soifon shouted jumping up. She quickly pulled on a t-shirt and stared at him, fire burning in her eyes. Not good, Rin he thought, not good at all!

[End of Chapter 35]

**Merry Christmas peeps! **

**Yoruichi: "Haha! I never expected another season of this story to continue!" **

**Soifon: "Neither did I" *she turns and scowls at me* "why did you make that man go with me! I live only for Yoruichi-Sama!"  
Yoruichi: "I thought you two make a good couple" *laughs happily whilst Soifon goes red faced***

**Me: "I'll have you know I'd intended it to be a full sex scene…oral and everything" **

**Soifon: "What!" *holds Sumebachi to my throat* **

**Me: "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry" **

**Yoruichi: Calm down, Soifon, you can't blame Liam for making decent plot developments, our relationship was quite one dimensional" * she grins at Soifon but saves a scowl for me* "might I take this moment to add…what did Szayel do to me when I was unconscious?"  
Me: "I can't remember" *smiles innocently***

**Yoruichi: "Why don't I believe you?" **

**Soifon: "What about me! I've had a ton of crap in this story and no one takes any sympathy on me, man fuck this I'm gonna quit!"**

**Me: "No wait I still haven't done the gang rape yet!"  
Soifon: "Gang what!"**

**Me: "I-It was a joke" *dodges Soifon swinging Suzumebachi at me***

**Yoruichi: "I'm going for a bath"**

**Me: "Get undressed after you go in the bathroom" *I go red faced as Yoruichi strips and Soifon ogles lecherously**

**Yoruichi: "Stop being a perv!" *smacks my head***

**Soifon: "Uh…Liam"**

**Yoruichi: "Oh dear" *she stares at my bleeding body***

**Soifon: "I think you've killed him"  
Yoruichi: "Ah shit" *She looks around "quick get the Cadillac I'll carry his body"**

**Soifon: "Who's gonna carry on the story?" *everyone looks at Soifon* "what?"**

**Yoruichi: "merry Christmas Every one" grins and waves at the fourth wall…**


	36. Chapter 36: Nakama

Soifon's anger bubbled, she was alone but she wasn't that alone! Rin stared up at her from the floor. "I don't know what your damn game is" Soifon said "but so help me god if I see you again…I'll kill you"  
"But…" he narrowed his eyes slightly and said "fine…just know this, Marik Ishtar…he's wrong"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Shura found a newspaper clipping" he said "He killed his own father"  
"Wait…Shura?" Soifon said

"Um…" he stood up and walked out the door grabbing his t-shirt and shoes as he went.

"Hmm. You nearly slept with him" Toshiro said emerging from behind the door with his arms crossed

"You're a damn ghost" Soifon said. She glared at him "how much did you hear?"  
"See" Toshiro said "…enough"  
"My…" Soifon put a self-conscious hand over her chest

"Pull yourself together, you're nothing special"  
"Ouch" Soifon said. "I've got my feminine pride to worry about…were you watching me whilst I slept?"  
"So…Marik Ishtar?" Toshiro said ignoring her question  
"Yeah" Soifon said "the guy we work for"

"Let's go and speak to Kisuke" Toshiro said "I got a phone call from him earlier, he was frantic saying I had to get to his crib and bring you too"

"I wonder what's wrong" Soifon said. She briefly wondered what Yoruichi was doing, by now she would have tracked down Shura, would she have killed her? Yoruichi did have tendencies to go a bit…sadistic when she was depressed or angry. Shura didn't strike Soifon as the cautious type either. These women…they were destined to be mortal enemies…or best friends.

Soifon pulled on her socks and shoes. Toshiro locked her into a withering stare. "I noticed a slight plot hole in your story"  
"Oh?"  
"You said you got the directions to where the Tower of Babel is but then you said you drove to Babel from Dubai…why did you go to Dubai?"  
"Uh…" Soifon quickly thought up a steadfast lie "Yoruichi had wanted to look at a special copy of the Bible that a man called Mr… Sky had"

"Sky hmm" Toshiro tapped his chin "a funny word, nicely translated: Sky, Caelum, Cielo Hyml, Asamãna…" he glared at her "Sora"

"Huh?" Soifon said cocking her head in confusion

"Never mind" Toshiro said shaking his head dismissively "doesn't matter"

"Fuck sake" Soifon said shaking her head once he'd left her room. She walked after him yawning and looking at her phone. One missed call, one voicemail and it was 22:23. The missed call was from Yoruichi as was the voicemail.

Soifon clicked on the voicemail and held it to her ear… "Soi…massive prob…east by south east"

"Huh?" Soifon said trying to make Yoruichi's voice out over the obvious roaring in the back ground

"Yo…ichi it's br…ing though!" came another voice

"Levi…an!" Yoruichi shouted "The…ple… Solomon"

"Move!" came the other voice again. There was a loud roar and the phone crackled

"Get to Jeru…em" Yoruichi's voice crackled. There was a loud slam and the roaring stopped "I…forgive me Soifon…I didn't know…I'm so sorry…I thought we could defeat it…dear god, what have I done" Yoruichi said between pants. The voicemail ended there. Soifon stood still as a statue with the phone still pressed to her ear. What was attacking Yoruichi? Another monster, another monster that _she_ couldn't kill? "Toshiro" Soifon said. He stopped walking and turned. She held out the phone and made him listen. He stood with his eyes slightly narrowed as he listened.

"How peculiar" he said eventually "Now perhaps isn't the…" he trailed off as they entered the revamped Utility room. Soifon stopped as she recognised that sinister voice.

"So…Momo" he said  
"I don't know why Toshiro never mentioned you" she replied happily. Toshiro stepped into the room followed by Soifon. Sora himself sat beside Momo speaking happily to her. She stood up when she saw Toshiro. "Hey" she said

"Toshiro" Sora said standing up behind her "long time no see." Teal eyes met teal eyes and father and son stared at each other

"What are you doing here?" Toshiro asked

"Thought I'd come and visit" he said smiling slightly. He pulled a silver knife from his robe and held it close to Momo's neck. She smiled awkwardly at Toshiro none the wiser that his father held a knife to her neck. He raised it and Toshiro's eyes widened. He looked as if he was about to shout but stopped when Sora brought the knife down and sliced a neat section out of an apple. He stared innocently at his son as he ate the section. "Would you like a piece of apple, Momo" he said smiling warmly at her

"Thanks" She said grinning back

"Watch, that knife is very sharp" he said, his eyes not moving from Toshiro's "wouldn't want you to cut yourself"

"You're so sweet" She smiled

"Explains why my last wife died of diabetes" he laughed

"Can you die of diabetes?" Momo asked

"It was a joke" Sora said laughing again. He stopped and glared at Soifon "I want to know why you're not with Yoruichi"

"I uh…" Soifon found herself rooted to the spot by his powerful gaze.

"I see" he said "you modern lesbian types, always playing with love like it's a toy, real tragedy isn't it?"

"Where do you get off saying love is a toy!" Toshiro snapped

"Did I hit a nerve?" Sora said smiling slightly "I never loved your mother"  
"Then why did you marry her?" Toshiro almost shouted he was looking rather rabid actually; Soifon wouldn't have been surprised if he started foaming at the mouth.

"She was a class-A ride" he chuckled. He turned and watched Ukitake as he walked in "…not you ag…" he never finished as Ukitake punched him square in the jaw.

"How dare you show your face in this town!" he shouted. Soifon was taken aback by Ukitake's very uncharacteristic rage. Sora chuckled and put his hand on his jaw.

"You still hit like a girl" Sora said grinning. Ukitake started forward to hit him again but Kyoraku put his hand on his chest and said:

"Now's not the place for that, old friend"

"Wise man, Kyoraku" Sora said "now regardless to popular belief my intentions here stem from more winsome margins of my proclivities"

"I'm gonna hit him again" Ukitake said

"Yes, yes, yes" Sora said "You were rocking the white hair before me, now it seems my woman has got herself…I don't know, eaten by the sounds of it"

"Eaten?"  
"Yes" Sora said crossing his arms and sitting back down on the sofa. "By the way Soifon do you know whose Ferrari you stole in Dubai?"  
"Uh…no" she said

"Mine" He said. Soifon stuck her hands in her pockets and whistled innocently

"No matter, I was bored of that car anyway and I have another three exactly like that one at home" Sora stared at Momo's ass for a few seconds before scoffing and taking a bite out of his apple. "Now, I'm not like Nel and Aizen, I don't keep my plan to myself"

"So what are you doing?"  
"I intend to destroy the Millennium Items; they can invoke power more devastating than the Hogyoku and the…group I belong to doesn't want them to surface. I've manipulated Shura to try to get them off Yoruichi and bring them to me but she's turned out to be almost as incompetent as Ichigo is"

"How do you know about all this stuff and if you did why didn't you help against Aizen?"

"The writer hadn't thought of me then"  
"What?"  
"I was busy" he replied chuckling "my job isn't to clean up you kids' messes"

He chuckled again and stretched "Anyway, long story short, this Marik Ishtar intends to invoke the power of Satan or whatever to take over the world and…I don't know get a date to the prom"

"Who is he?" Momo said

"Not sure" Sora said "all I know for sure is that he killed his own father who happened to be a bit of a nut job but also a member of my…group"

"So what are we going to do?" Soifon asked

"Bye" Sora said. He stood up and walked out of the building

"Wha…" Soifon stared after him. He certainly was an oddball.

"I thought you liked your father" Momo said holding Toshiro's hand. He gave hers a reassuring squeeze to show that he wasn't mad at her.

"No" he said "my father…is different from the average person, try not to encounter him if you've got options"

"So how are we gonna rescue Yoruichi?" Soifon asked

"I don't know" Ukitake said

"Then fuck this" Soifon stormed out of the door. The night was cool and fresh, she walked quickly through the streets toward the Roman Candle, they shut early on Christmas but Kukaku loved being around her friends and pretty much the only people who drank in the Roman Candle were members of the Gotei.

She turned a corner and began to run, her head was starting to swim, she'd fallen out with Yoruichi and now she was in serious trouble. She'd have to hurry; Yoruichi's life could be on the very line as she thought! "Wait up!" came a shout behind her

"Toshiro?" she said slowing. Rukia, Toshiro and Momo chased after her.

"I ain't missing an opportunity to see the Temple of Solomon" Toshiro said "I'm coming with"  
"So am I" Momo chimed

"There sounds like there'll be action" Rukia said with a familiar glint in her eyes that made Soifon hope there'd be no vehicles nearby that could be used to terrify her half to death.

"Oy" said another person coming from the left. Soifon crossed her arms as Grimmjow approached them with an unconscious Rin on his shoulders. "I saw this scrub running from the centre and I wondered if he'd done anything"  
"Not really" Soifon said. With a thud Grimmjow dropped him painfully on the ground

"Too bad" Grimmjow said stroking Pantera who yet again rested in his arm. Sometimes Soifon wondered if he actually _walked _the dog or just carried it around. "Where are you crazy kids off to at this time of night on Christmas Eve at that?"  
"Adventure time" Soifon said "Zombies, Stone angels and an unspecified monster that had Yoruichi literally crying with fear"  
"Sounds fun" Grimmjow said with a dangerous glint in his eyes that was frightfully similar to one Rukia had sported earlier. "Might tag along"

"Haven't you got anything to do on Christmas?" Rukia said. Soifon could have sworn that, for a split second, loneliness flashed through his face "of course not, not when there are Zombies to kill" he grinned maniacally.

"The more the merrier" Soifon shrugged. "You like to pop out at convenient times to help the plot along don't you?"  
"I try" Grimmjow said "no really… I wait in the bushes five days a week hoping something interesting happens so I can crash it"

"Okay" Soifon said raising her eyebrows "Yoruichi takes top priority, if you want to stay fighting Zombies I ain't gonna stop you but I will leave your ass behind if I need to"

"Stop it Shura, don't lick me there" Rin muttered drooling slightly.

"Wake up asshole" Rukia said stamping on him.

"Oh!" He said sitting up "Ow, who hit me?"  
"Me" Grimmjow said

"Isn't it funny that you've beaten you two people who've had their hands on my breasts once in their lives?" Soifon said to Grimmjow. Grimmjow stared back

"You have breasts?"

"Oh son of seventeen harlot twilight fans" Soifon said turning and walking toward the Roman Candle.

They all walked into the Roman Candle as Kukaku morbidly flicked an olive at Kenpachi who looked at the spot the olive hit him and then Kukaku. "What did you do that for?" he said

"Felt like it" Kukaku said. She perked up when she saw Soifon. "Oh, there she is!"

"Hey" Soifon said smiling. Kukaku's grin slowly faded when she noticed Yoruichi wasn't with her.

"Where's Yoruichi?"  
"Temple of Solomon" Soifon said "you don't happen to know how to get there"  
"I…not enough to be of any use" Kukaku said "it's in Jerusalem, probably sacked and destroyed by the Roman Empire during the Siege of Jerusalem"  
"Hmm"  
"Hold on, I'm remembering a Brit"

"A Brit?" Soifon said

"Hang on" Kukaku disappeared for a minute leaving Kenpachi to tower over Soifon.

"What kind of trouble had Yoruichi gotten herself into, squirt?"  
"Nothing she can't handle" Soifon said

"The why are you frantic to help her?" Kenpachi said narrowing his eye "is it something I can have fun fighting?"  
"I don't know" Soifon said

"Hey!" Grimmjow but in "I've got first dibbs on the monster that kicked Yoruichi's ass"  
"Humph" Kenpachi said crossing his arms "can't be stealing a fellow warrior's prey but if I hear you've got your stupid ass killed…that monster will be mine!"

"Here we go" Kukaku said coming back and rifling through a book "the Bakura family, they are known to have found the Temple of Solomon back when the British invaded Israel for their empire"

"I see" Soifon said "who's the current head"  
"Quite a youngling called Ryo believe it or not" Kukaku chuckled "he lives as a Squire in the Cornish countryside"

"A Squire eh?" Soifon said

"What's a Squire?" Momo said

"In this term it means…a village leader, they are like Chief's or Lairds" Toshiro said "It's a very powerful position to hold"

"That'll be two grand please" Kukaku smiled holding out her hand

"Tab Yoruichi" Soifon scowled. Kukaku flat out grinned and wrote something down on a piece of paper, probably Yoruichi's tab.

"Best catch a plane directly" Kukaku said "Yoruichi might not have long to live, she could be bleeding out as we speak"  
"That's rather sadistic of you" Toshiro said

"I met my employer today, he has that effect on me" Kukaku said

Soifon wasted no time. She decided to actually drive and stole a SUV that was sitting in the car park beside Kukaku's Bar's Car park. "Let me drive" Rukia said practically hauling Soifon out of the driver's seat. Soifon gritted her teeth and sat in the back between Rin and Grimmjow. "Hey" Rin said

"Shut up" Soifon snapped. Rukia slammed Chappy down on the dashboard and with a loud rev of the engine and tire squeals she was away.

"Whoa" Toshiro shouted from the back "I don't have a damn seatbelt back here!" he sat in the boot that was modified with a cage to seat a dog, must've been a damn big dog. Momo giggled from beside Rukia.  
"You're so cute back there" she said. He stared at her through the cage "you're like a little do-"

"Don't even say it" Toshiro said crossing his arms indignantly before head-butting the window after Rukia took a hard left. Soifon stifled a laugh as a vein pulsed in his forehead.

"Oh stop here!" Soifon said as they drove past Yoruichi's apartment.

"What do you need?" Rukia said "

"Five minutes  
"I'm waiting" Rukia said.

Soifon jumped out and ran into the building; she quickly took the elevator up and ran down the corridor toward her door. She unlocked it and pushed the door open. There was another click and the sound of a clock ticking. "What?" Soifon said

From below Toshiro, Momo, Grimmjow, Rukia and Rin saw Yoruichi's apartment explode so violently the entire right side of the roof went flying into the sky and crushed countless cars when it landed. "Does that mean our holiday is off?" Grimmjow said pulling a sombrero off of his head.

***Change***

Sir Johan Christophe Louis Charles Winsted Olaf Jensen Ogilvy XII walked through the dishevelled streets of Rukon what a disgusting little pinprick! He walked regally but also conspicuously, he wasn't an idiot, you don't become the second in command of the Illuminati if you're an idiot. He let himself into an apartment block and made his way up the elevator.

Eventually it came to a stop on his required floor. He walked to a door and opened it without knocking. Instantly two girls had guns pointed at him "Gisselle, Meninas" game a powerful voice from within the Apartment "allow him to enter"  
"But Sir" said the black haired one "we don't know this cat"  
"This man is the Secretary-General of the United Nations not to mention the Ambassador for France" came the voice "but his other title is more important isn't that right Illuminati Duo"  
"So" Johan said "you know my designation, the Stern Ritter has some good ears"  
"A few members of your organisation belong to me"

"As do a few of yours" Johan replied. He walked past the girls and stood before the black haired man. He sat on a throne of sorts with a blonde man beside him

"I'm still very curious how you managed to survive the Aizen crisis" Johan said "I have footage of you being blown to pieces by your own subordinate"

"How peculiar" Juha Bach said "that a sleight of hand like that'd fool you… there were two members of the Stern Ritter who could mimic anyone"  
"Anyone?"

"_Anyone"_ Juha said smiling slightly

"It'd seem a woman you've crossed blades with has bitten off more than she can chew but she has some serious skill, she's been avoiding our…neutralisers with skill…in fact I think someone is helping her"  
"Like who?" Juha said crossing his arms

"His name is Sora Hitsugaya" Johan said "he's quite the villain"

"A villain you say?" Juha said tapping his chin "what has all this got to do with me?"

"The Millennium Items?" Johan said "have you heard of them?"  
"No" Juha said

"We've procured the location of six out of Seven but…we haven't collected them until we had all seven locations figured out except someone has stolen one"

"Yoruichi" Juha said nodding

"I'd like to propose a merging, temporary of course"

"Why?"  
"The Stern Ritter has very skilled warriors at their disposal, a feature that the Illuminati sorely lacks but we have power, we can get you anything and anywhere you want"  
"What's in it for us?"  
"We'll give you a very special item"  
"What'd that be?"

"Do you know what the Crystal of Lot is?"

"Does it make men sleep with their daughters?" Juha said raising an eyebrow

"No…" John said taking a second to scowl at the sacrilegious statement "it turns anyone…and I mean anyone who touches it with their bare skin into a pillar of salt"  
"Anyone?"  
"_Anyone" _he said

"Consider it a deal" Juha said smiling slightly. They shook hands and Gisselle and Meninas looked at each other, Same shit…different day!

[Chapter 36 Finito!]

**Shadow's asking for more Yuri, I feel your pain bro but I had set myself a rule to show one sex scene per couple… lol but once Yoruichi and Soifon get back together…if they get back together I'll write a sexy scene, I may pair Gisselle and Meninas too. I know, what the hell! Juha is still alive this is some Reichenbach falls shit right there. Sherlock coming on the New Year! BBC swag! **


	37. Chapter 37: Villain

**Now for Faddish's first ever tutorial...How to write like Faddish!**

**Step 1- Begin strongly and rather poetically but let it dissolve and breakdown and rely mostly on sex jokes and roundabout ways of explaining things **

**Step 2- Use the term 'found her/him/themselves' as many times as you possibly can**

**Step 3- Use ellipses as much as you can too…**

**Step 4- End every chapter with a bizarre plot twist**

**Step 5- spend nearly a thousand words every chapter in useless dialogue**

**Step 6- ramble as much as possible trying to explain something **

**Step 7- spend another 500-700 words patching up plotholes from the previous chapters**

**Step 8- try to cover up how depraved and sick you really are by doing a 180 and saying character 'X' isn't as bad as you'd made them out to be in previous chapter see: Bambietta. **

**Step 9- Kill off 90% of all villains off screen**

**Step 10- Fill in the remains of your 3000+ set chapter word count with obscure references that no one ever gets and then get depressed when no one gets them.**

**Following these steps you'll be a top writer in no time! Trust me…I'm Scottish and Scottish people know this stuff!**

"Y'know" Soifon said panting "I actually hate explosions"

"I think I might be inclined to agree" Kisuke replied. At the last second Kisuke had emerged from Yoruichi's next door apartment and hauled her through the door and slammed it. The bomb had exploded "thank god I'd went to Yoruichi's when you never arrived at my shop"  
"I forgot about that" Soifon said. The apartment they were in was completely empty, most of the wall that divided it from Yoruichi's apartment was ruined completely; even now Soifon lay on the ground with a few pieces of plasterboard on her.

"Why had you come here, if I hadn't noticed the trip wire you'd have been coming to Yoruichi's newly decorated apartment"

"I wanted her father's sword" Soifon said "we'd been having a problem with guns and zombies"

"I see" Kisuke said "I hate zombies, they are just too fleshy"  
"I hate you, you know that right?"  
"Yes" Kisuke said "I'm not too fond of you either"

Soifon sat up and tossed the plasterboard off of her. She woefully hauled herself to her feet and brushed herself off.

"I wonder who planted the bomb" Kisuke said

"I know who invented this bomb type" Soifon said pulling out her phone. She quickly prodded a contact. It rang for a few seconds before Bambietta picked up with a beatific "Hello?"  
"Hey" Soifon said "are you still in Venice?"  
"Yeah" she replied "we were thinking of coming to Rukon for Christmas"  
"Hmm" Soifon said not really listening "did you uh…you know those bombs that ticked really loud that you made?"  
"What about them?"  
"Are there any made that you haven't accounted for?"  
"No"

"Have you taught anyone how to make them?"  
"I taught Gisselle" Bambietta said "she likes using steel tripwire as the trigger rather than a good old fashioned alarm clock."  
"How convenient" Soifon said

"Why, what's wrong?" Bambietta said "can I hear the crackle of fire in the background?"  
"Yeah" Soifon said stepping over Yoruichi's front door and walking into her burning apartment, she wasn't gonna be happy about this one. "Someone just blew up Yoruichi's apartment with a bomb that looked an awful lot like one of yours that was triggered by a steel tripwire."

"So Gisselle survived the fall" Bambietta said "not my problem I suppose"  
"I don't expect it to be" Soifon said "but like it or not you and Hanataro are members of the Gotei and you can't deny you're calling"  
"We haven't been called yet" Bambietta said "never mind that, what are you getting Yoruichi for Christmas?"  
"Dunno" Soifon said picking up the white katana that Ryuu had owned that he'd left to Yoruichi in his will. The sword was a Shirasaya like her own fathers twin sword that resided next to it. Both swords were completely spotless and polished with care. Picking up both swords Soifon walked out of the apartment not sparing a thought for the rest of Yoruichi's burning possessions, it was likely these swords were the only thing she'd care about. "Anyway, you have a nice one"

"Uh…you too I guess" Bambietta replied. Soifon hung up and slid her phone back into her pocket.

Kisuke watched her as she walked past. "Where are you going with those?"

"Britain" Soifon said "we need to talk to a Squire called Ryo Bakura"

"I see" Kisuke tipped his stupid bucket hat slightly and fixed her with a stare, his eyes reflected the dancing flames sinisterly.

"What?" Soifon said

"Nothing" Kisuke said before tuning and walking, his coat flapping in the breeze caused by the roof being mostly blown off.

"What an annoying man" Soifon muttered. She did, however, follow him out of the building with the fleeting wonderment as to what he was actually doing when she came by. Sure he said he'd came over when Toshiro hadn't come to his shop but…what was he doing here?

"Oh my god!" Momo cried as Soifon walked into the lobby on the first floor.

"What happened?" Toshiro added

"There was a bomb in Yoruichi's crib" Soifon said "I'm alright, no time to spare, let's go" she didn't wait for them to argue and walked past. Toshiro and Momo quickly jogged to catch up and they all jumped into Rukia's car. "Who wants to carry Yoruichi's sword?" Soifon asked

"Got my own" Grimmjow said

"Me too" Rin said

"I'm not much of a sword user" Momo said

"Me neither" Rukia chimed

"Looks like you've just got the short straw" Soifon said "no pun intended" when Toshiro scowled at her.

"Whatever" he said taking the sword. He inspected the sword semi-curiously. "Nice make"

"Step on it Rukia, I wanna get the midnight plane to London tonight" Soifon said checking her watch again. They had about an hour to get it. One of the many things they'd quite cleverly set up was a locker in the Rukon International Airport with a fake passport and money for every member of the Gotei in case the country needed to be fled.

It took just under fifteen minutes to reach the airport with Rukia's scary but speedy driving. Unlocking the locker Grimmjow handed passports to their respective owners. "There you go…Madison" he said handing one to Soifon. "Jake" he handed one to Toshiro "Beth" to Rukia "and you…Chrissie" he handed the passport to Momo.

"What's your name?" Rin asked

"Patrick…" Grimmjow said with an Irish accent "Patrick O'Malley"

"How you gonna smuggle those swords?" Rin asked

"This isn't a game of twenty questions, dickhead" Momo uncharacteristically snapped. Soifon and Toshiro stared at her wide-eyed. "Sorry" she said with red cheeks.

"We've got a guy" Soifon said placing the swords into a duffel bag that the passports were kept in. There was nearly fifty sitting in the locker and if someone saw it they'd be more than curious as to why. Yoruichi's name was something along the lines of 'Dame Purliooscha Insidote Frankenpenny' a name so obviously made up it did a full 360 and became believable.

Soifon slammed the locker and cracked the joints of her neck. "Let's get this goddamn show on the road"

"You sure are in a rush" Grimmjow chuckled

"I am" Soifon said 

***Fifteen hours later***

The best they could get was a van…a white Ford Transit that Grimmjow had tossed a chubby man wearing a beanie out of. Toshiro felt slightly sorry for the man, he'd just been carjacked on Christmas day by a bunch of American teenagers who all looked…odd.

Soifon was becoming more and more agitated, he felt her pain. If Momo had been captured or was in danger there would be no such thing as a stone left unturned. He'd go to the very ends of the earth to save her and this was pretty much what Soifon was doing. In terms of The Temple of Solomon, it wasn't physically in Jerusalem, if it was…it'd obviously be a tourist attraction of some kind maybe Yoruichi's 'East by Southeast' meant something and didn't have anything to do with biplanes or cornfields.

His mind wandered back to his estranged father. It'd been the first time he'd seen him in years and despite fearing greatly for Momo's life he felt it went quite well… He didn't recall his father being so strange but at least it was better than the silent disjointed man that he remembered from his childhood.

They drove out into the British countryside toward this little Cornish village that this boy lived in. Apparently he was something of a heartthrob for young girls…he'd have to keep his eye on Momo. The Village was called Lesser Amane on Tamar. Cornwall was quite dull, residing in the 'foot' of Britain. The green fields were usually covered with opaque fog that made the land quite sinister. The jet lag had proved too much for Soifon and she snoozed beside him. Rukia also let Grimmjow drive whilst she caught some sleep too. Toshiro considered getting some sleep but his mind refused to settle. "This place sucks!" Grimmjow said eventually

"Did you know jack and the beanstalk was set in this area?" Toshiro replied

"No" Grimmjow said "don't really care either, in fact I might just punch you in the face for it"

"Are we nearly there yet?" Rin said sighing

"Who even asked you to come!?" Grimmjow snapped "one more word from you and I'm pulling over"

"What, and give him a spanking?" Toshiro said

"Damn straight" Grimmjow said "no one wants a spanking from Grimmjow-sama"

"I loathe to imagine" Toshiro said. Momo shifted on the bench that provide makeshift seating, though there were no seatbelts or anything to hold on to. Its lucky Grimmjow wasn't much of a speeder.

"Sat-Nav says were close" Grimmjow eventually said. Toshiro nudged Soifon awake.

"We're nearly there" he said

"Oh" she said before stretching "what time is it?"  
"Five" Toshiro said. The Rotation of the earth and length of the flight meant they'd spen the entire of Christmas day in the air, nothing they could really do but they'd made a promise to have another Christmas on New Year. Now it was five in the morning on Boxing Day.

Toshiro seriously doubted this Ryo would be particularly pleased to see them but he'd just have to make time if he wanted to keep both his legs unbroken. Grimmjow parked…abandoned the van in the village square that was basically a small obelisk with World War Two fatalities listed. The Square only had a Post office, Grocers and a 'Chemist'. "Not much to look at" Grimmjow said stretching his legs. Snow fell in light flurries that made the night sky glow slightly orange with the streetlight reflecting the white snow. Nothing stirred in the silent village, there were no dogs barking in the distance, no sirens from emergency services. The closest Toshiro had ever been to complete silence.

Making up his mind of where he wanted to retire Toshiro turned to Soifon. "Where is this guy's house?"

"Apparently it's that way" Soifon said looking at a textbook she'd stolen from a Library in London.

"Let's not stand on ceremony then" Grimmjow said

"Are you guys lost?" came a voice behind them. Toshiro turned and immediately scowled…was this guy for real?

"Heh" Grimmjow chuckled pointing "he looks kinda like you Tosh"  
"Don't call me that" Toshiro scowled "we're looking for a cat called Ryo"

"Hmm" he mumbled good-naturedly "that'd be me"

"You're Ryo Bakura?" Soifon demanded

"I am" he said "I was taking an early morning walk in the snow; we don't get much in this area"

"What a douchebag" Grimmjow muttered to Rukia who nodded.

"I hear you know the location of the Temple of Solomon" Soifon said. Ryo's eyes narrowed for the briefest second. He looked around, a few curtains twitched as people tried to hide from his gaze. Toshiro hadn't even realised so many people were watching them.

"Follow me" he said eventually "we can't be caught talking about such a subject, there are many people who…disdain for such knowledge to be passed around" They followed Ryo up into his manor which stood on a hill overlooking the village.

"Nice crib" Rukia said

"You should see my other one" Ryo said, his voice was a tad gravellier than Toshiro remembered it "This place was built in the fifteenth century" he explained, his voice back to normal. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and poked a candle stick. Ryo led them into a warmly lit study.

Toshiro looked around, it was nicely decorated, bookshelves and wall mountings made for a homely period feel that was non-existent in America. "Do you have some guardians living here?" Toshiro asked as he heard footsteps above him.

"No" Ryo said "…uh I have a cat" he said when he noticed Toshiro had heard the noise. Soifon shot Toshiro a glance that basically said 'This guy is playing us'. "Anyway" Ryo smiled "the Temple of Solomon is one of the secrets my family holds"

"One of them eh?" Grimmjow said running his finger along the spines of books. He paused and stared at something. Toshiro looked…there was a fine layer of dust on the bookshelf but there was a gap where Ryo had pulled a book off. Toshiro looked at the book; Watership Down... wasn't Toshiro's cup of tea but whatever. He ignored the book and crossed his arms.

"You'll have to forgive me" Ryo said with that annoying overly-British happy voice of his "I don't just hand over the secret of the Temple of Solomon you know"

"Naturally" Soifon said

"Can you all stop snooping, please?" he said with a ghost of aggravation in his voice. Toshiro looked at everyone else. Everyone except Momo was inspecting something, was it because he exuded suspicion? Or was everyone here just sucky at respecting privacy…or both.

Everyone stopped and crossed their arms or put their hands in their pockets. Toshiro started looking around again taking care not to look too suspicious. He listened to the conversation between Soifon and Ryo too.

"Is there anything you can tell us?" Soifon had said

"Nothing much" Ryo said "I must ask why you want to find the temple of Solomon, it's got many dangerous items and…other things in it"  
"Other things?"

"Apparently…this is just a story" Ryo said "an angel called Mastema defeated a demon and sealed it inside the temple of Solomon"

"What demon is this?"  
"I daren't say its name" Ryo said

"I want to hit you" Grimmjow said

"Haha" Ryo chuckled "can I get you all some tea?"

"No thanks" Momo chimed

"Got anything stronger?" Grimmjow asked

"Like coffee?"  
"No like scotch"

"Unfortunately I'm not old enough to drink" Ryo smiled. Toshiro scowled at a tapestry, he never did like people who were really nice, and they always unnerved him. He inspected the fine art work of the tapestry. Ryo seemed to notice Toshiro inspecting it.

"So…Toshiro was it?" he said

"Yeah" Toshiro said he turned back to the tapestry

"Uh…so…" Ryo stumbled over his words. Toshiro narrowed his eyes, why didn't he want him looking at the tapestry?

"Mastema is a deadly Angel" Soifon said "I did take a slight fascination in demonology; apparently he was the one that killed all the firstborns in the plagues of Egypt. Can't say he's much of a sealer more of a killer"

Toshiro almost dropped the cup he held in his hand. How had he not seen it before? The tapestry…it was an all seeing eye. The Bakura family was Illuminati! He turned and started toward Ryo who had a slight smirk on his face that Toshiro just itched to smack off "Hi there!" chimed a soft female voice. Everyone turned to see the now back from the dead Gisselle sitting on a table with one leg crossed over the other. "Long time no see, Gotei"

"How are you still alive?" Soifon said moving toward her. She stopped when Gisselle pointed a gun at her. Toshiro looked around for solutions, nothing much presented itself, Gisselle was too far back to be rushed, everyone could go in unison but someone would be killed.

"I do apologise" Ryo chuckled shrugging "she arrived a few hours before you guys and I just thought she was a treat" she let out a seductive chuckle that made Toshiro scoff; she was fast becoming Bambietta II. She was a bit disjointed at school but Bambietta had been worse, maybe her tyranny was the only thing keeping a worse tyrant at bay.

"I don't understand" Toshiro said "you're Stern Ritter and he's Illuminati, you're different organisations"

"We are" Gisselle said "each to our own I suppose"

"Who's this bitch?" Rin said jerking a thumb toward her. She scowled slightly but said nothing.

"She's a member of the Stern Ritter" Soifon explained "that's all you need to know"

Toshiro smirked slightly as he came up with a little solution. In the Gotei they'd came up with six different 'choice phrases' that had double meanings for example 'help yourself to some jelly beans' means split up and flee or 'watch you laughing' meant 'flee after my distraction'. "So what" Toshiro said "you're just gonna shoot us down or are we gonna stand here and watch you laughing?"

Toshiro felt everyone's eyes go to him and a few people tense. Gisselle noticed this but seemed to assume it was because he seemed to be coaxing her into a mistake. "Sorry whitey" she laughed "I don't make mistakes like Bambi did"

"Too bad" Toshiro said. Soifon picked up a mini flag sitting on Ryo's desk and Gisselle pointed the gun at her. This was what both Soifon and Toshiro wanted. He grabbed the tapestry from earlier and tossed it between them. Everyone was already moving. Toshiro turned and sprinted as Gisselle fired some shots though the large fabric banner much to the disdain of Ryo who hurled insults at her.

She pulled the tapestry off and stared blankly at the empty room but smiled slightly when she saw a splatter of blood on the wall. "I wonder who I hit" She smirked.

***Change***

Hanataro groaned and sighed as he ran his hand through Bambietta's soft hair, she let out the occasional moan too but it would be difficult to speak since her mouth was rather full. Her head moving up and down slowly as she worked her tongue for extreme pleasure. She eventually stopped and smiled seductively "Tonight…you decide where you wanna stick it"  
"Just…uh" his cheeks reddened at the inclination of severe kinkiness "vaginal I think"

"Really" she said raising and eyebrow "sometimes you're so boring, doggystyle"

"Okay" he said watching her go onto all fours and pull her underwear down. He got up to his knees and aimed.

"…wait" she said "do you hear that?"

"Um" he said listening, something sounded like…drilling. Then the front door clicked open. Bambietta quickly pulled her underwear up and raised her eyebrows at Hanataro as if to tell him to do the same. He pulled his boxers and trousers up and hopped off the bed. Bambietta had grabbed a Glock from the bedside table.

"We always get visitors when we do doggystyle" Bambietta muttered perplexed. She silently walked to the door of their bedroom. She peeked out… she took two steps back, her eyes wide and animalistic. "It's him!"

"Who?"

"Askin LeVarr" she whispered creeping toward the window. "We are not going to fight that man"

"Good" Hanataro whispered back

"Going somewhere?" someone said from the doorway. Hanataro stared at the golden haired teen that leaned on the doorframe.

"Who the fuck are you?" Bambietta demanded

"They call me…Malik…Malik Blishtar"

"What kind of name is that?" Bambietta muttered "anyway…get out of my flat" she pointed her gun at him. Another man with black hair appeared.

"Bambietta" he said "long time"

"Askin" she said "How's the wife?"  
"Killed her"

"Too bad" she said confidently but it didn't hide the fact her hand shook.

"Nervous?" he said raising an eyebrow

"Excited" Bambietta said before grinning "not every day you get D against E"

"No it is not" he said "but what makes you think you can hit me with that gun, besides Mr Ishtar snuck into your apartment whist you were having an alfresco lunch in the park, also…for a young couple you kids sure have sex a lot, and stole the bullets from your gun"

"I like to keep a lot of kinkiness in the relationship, it keeps things fresh, keeps him appreciative" Bambietta said

"Ah" Askin chuckled "if my wife doted like you she wouldn't have been fed into a woodchipper"

"Let's test your bluff" Bambietta pulled the trigger with an empty click the gun did not spit a deadly piece of metal at her enemies. "Shit" Bambietta said

"Wh-what are we gonna do?"  
"Solution four?" Bambietta said

"R-really?" he said. Solution Four was very dangerous from the distance they were to the oven.

"Solution Four?"

"There are certain choice phrases in this apartment, if I say them a bomb…explodes"

"Oh…"

"Now…Fuck you guys!" She said raising her arms "Come at me bro!"

[End of chapter thirty-seven-]

**I've noticed that a lot of fanfics are written weirdly, i.e people sometimes write in real-time like: Soifon picks up the glass and gives it to Yoruichi. Now the point of this is…is my writing…readable, I can't really read real time writing or people not starting a new line when other people speak (that annoys me greatly) So I hope my syntax, grammar and lexicon are good enough, I know I'm not very descriptive but ho hey**


	38. Chapter 38: Stowaway

**Now! Everyone seems to love putting quotes at the beginning of each chapter so I'm gonna try it out…**

_Then because of the dire straits to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you._

_-Duet 28:53 Bible by…uh…God?_

"We can't run away" Soifon said grabbing Toshiro "we have to find out where the Temple of Solomon is"

"How do you propose we do that?" he groaned. They all grouched in the woods outside Ryo's manor. Now more people had appeared, all of them wore dark cloaks like the ones who were fiddling with Yoruichi's car and carried guns.

"I've got only one idea" Toshiro went on to say "there was a book in Ryo's house that was recently disturbed, you never know, he might have something hidden in it?"

"Alright" Soifon said "I'll go alone, what is it called?"  
"A Watership Down" he said. Soifon turned and crept through the woods back toward the house.

"If I'm not back here in ten minutes, leave"

"Okay, hurry" Toshiro said his breath coming out as a light fog. Soifon continued her creeping. The Illuminati swarmed around the front entrance of the manor so Soifon snuck around the back, keeping close to the walls so her footprints were easy to notice.

The period masonry of the house cave her easy footholds and she climbed up the wall of the house taking care to keep as close to the wall as possible. Her destination was a little balcony that had a door into the house. Pulling herself up she nimbly landed on the balcony, keeping low she shuffled to the door and tried the handle. It was unlocked and the door swung inwards.

She crept in and closed the door behind her. The comforting warmth of the house hit her and she tried not to let out a solaced sigh. The wooden planks of the floor annoyingly creaked beneath her feet, she moved toward the wall as floorboards closer to walls usually creaked less. The door was open a crack and she peeked out. No one seemed to be around. She put her hand on the door and went to slowly pull it open. The door suddenly accelerated and she jumped back and stepped behind a suit of armour. "So what?" Gisselle said into a phone "I don't see why I should take him with us, he's a fucking…creepy panty sniffing Brit!" she said. Soifon held her breathes Gisselle turned toward her and walked toward the suit of armour she was behind. "Yeah, yeah, yeah" she said irritably "What!?... Askin is a fool, he nearly got Ishtar killed because of Bambietta" Soifon narrowed her eyes, what had happened to Bambietta? "Did you at least capture her?... I thought not… she did what!?" Soifon almost laughed: Bambietta…what a chick! "Like…the whole of it?" she scoffed "that bitch, she's still outdoing me and she retired!" Gisselle turned her back again and crouched, she picked up a flake of snow that was on the carpet.

Soifon wasted no more time and crept quickly out of the room. Once she was out she let out a deep breath and half jogged half crept down the stairs and toward the drawing room. Ryo walked out of it just as Soifon put her hand on the doorknob. He stared at her and she stared back. He opened his mouth to say something but Soifon punched him square on the nose and he fell back with a very effeminate moan. With a thud he landed on the floor and Soifon stepped over him smiling slightly as she did. Damn that felt good!

She quickly located the book. Plucking it from the bookshelf she opened it from inside the book a small drawing fell. She knelt and picked it up. It was an illustration of the Temple…that wasn't very useful. "Hey!" came a voice behind her. She rolled away on instinct just as gunfire erupted. Managing to get a bit of cover from a mahogany table she took a second to look for an exit, there was a second door. Bullets ripped the carpet and table apart as she ran for the other doorway. She dived through it and ran straight into Gisselle's fist.

The blow disorientated her slightly but she managed to stay on her feet. She ducked under another blow swept her legs. She crashed to the floor and kicked out as Soifon jumped over her. She caught Soifon's ankle and sent her sprawling into a small stone pillar holding a vase. Soifon grabbed the vase as threw it at Giselle's face. She raised an arm just in time and the vase smashed on her forearm. Soifon was already running by the time she pulled her pistol out. She fired the entire clip into the door she'd just slammed.

Bullets zoomed past her missing sometimes only by a hairs width. She kicked open a door and sprinted out into the snowy courtyard dodging machine gun fire as she went. She dived into the woods noting that Toshiro and the others no longer waited. She changed direction and made her way back toward the village and the van. Maybe they hadn't left yet. Three quad bikes burst through the undergrowth behind her. Wasting no time she bent down and grabbed a log and swung it with all her force. The log struck one of the quad bike drivers right off the vehicle. She tossed the log away and jumped on the bike. She revved it once and accelerated narrowing her eyes as snow and branches stung her face as she whipped though the woodland.

More bullets whipped around her and some even struck the bike! "Stop goddamn shooting at me!" Soifon shouted. She accelerated over a small hill that actually turned out to have a drop of about ten metres at the other end. "Holy craaaaap!" she wailed as the bike soared through the air narrowly missing a tree. She landed expertly and thanked god Ryuu had taken her quad biking a few times in the woods outside his manor.

One of her pursuers wasn't so lucky, he struck the tree and with a fiery explosion the quad bike exploded. This darkness really tested her reflexes, she barely had time to see the trees approaching as she sped through the wilderness. She swerved once and sighed happily as the tires found some road. The road led into the village, she could even see the lights. The last quad bike burst from the shrubbery behind her now accompanied by two dirt bikes, one that was annoyingly drove by Giselle. Soifon took a second to flip her the bird before accelerating. She kept weaving slightly as, obviously, moving targets were harder to hit. "Damn it" she said more bullets whizzed past her with annoying accuracy.

She sped through the village and found herself scowling at the empty village square. The Van was gone but its tracks were still fresh so she followed them. Before long she saw its red headlights in the distance. Rukia noticed her and slowed but sped back up again when they saw her chasers. The back doors opened and Grimmjow pointed a rifle he'd stolen just before they left the house.

He fired once and the other quad bike driver went flying off his bike. Toshiro tossed Soifon's sword to her. With one hand on the handle of the quad bike she grabbed it with the other. She braked heavily and slashed the tire of one of the two dirt bikes. The man driving let out a scream before he was lost in a snow drift on the side of the road. Giselle pulled up beside her and pointed her gun. Soifon swung the sword and it clashed with the pistol. Giselle smiled and said "Bye-bye"

Soifon didn't have time to ask what the hell she was talking about as she flicked her bike under Soifon's quad bike's wheels as she jumped off. The quad bike stopped dead and Soifon was thrown forward. She held out her hand trying to grab Toshiro's outstretched hand. She missed his fingers by mere millimetres. Her knees hit the road first but her hand slammed into the tow ball and she gripped it. Glancing back she saw Giselle taking aim with her pistol. She fired. Pain exploded and she let out a yell of pain and let go of the ball. Toshiro grabbed her hand before she could fall fully onto the road. By now her knees were being skinned by the road. Grimmjow helped him puller her up and they both slammed the doors.

Giselle stood watching the vans tail lights disappearing into the distance. "Shit" she gave her bike a light kick and stuffed her hands in her pockets and walked back toward Ryo's manor house. "Silent night….holy night, siiiiilent night, hoooly night" she sang softly as she walked twirling with her arms outstretched. She danced angelically in the snow smiling as she went.

Soifon let out a yelp as Momo inspected her wound. "Don't be a big wimp" Grimmjow said with his hand lightly resting on a bullet hole in his upper arm.

"The bitch shot me in the fucking arse!" Soifon wailed god it hurt! Momo finished her inspection and said.

"I'll need to remove the bullet, it missed your Iliac Vein which is good" she wiped her hands on her coat "Next town Rukia could you pick up some disinfectant, a needle, a lighter, some thread and a set of tweezers…no wait best make it a set of pliers"

"Pliers!?" Soifon exclaimed "My ass…my only redeeming feature" she cried "ruined"

"Pull yourself together woman" Grimmjow said "you can always get breast implants"

"Or get a Nicki Minaj butt implant" Rin said. Soifon glared and he shut up.

It took a painful amount of time to reach the next town and Toshiro and Momo disappeared to come back fifteen minutes later with a shopping bag full of their items. "Here" Momo said handing Soifon a damp cloth.

"What's this for?" Soifon said. She lay flat on her chest on the floor of the van. To protect her feminine innocence Momo hadn't removed Soifon's trousers…yet.

"For you to bite down on" Momo said "we can't have the screams of a girl coming out the back of a van in the middle of town"

"Oh" Soifon said

"You'll also have to get rid of those pants" Momo said

"Um…" Soifon looked at Toshiro, Grimmjow and Rin. Toshiro crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, Grimmjow inspected his nails frivolously and Rin's eyes lit up.

"We got you new ones" Toshiro smiled holding up the bright pink tracksuit bottoms. Soifon glared even harder.

The bullet removing procedure was painful but she'd suffered worse at the hands of good old Szayel and the bullet was removed without a problem. Momo stitched her up expertly as Soifon sulked red-faced on the floor of the van. "I never had you as a pink kinda girl" Grimmjow said raising an eyebrow at Soifon's underwear choice.

"I will end your life" Soifon growled. Grimmjow laughed. Eventually Momo was done and stuck a bandage to it and Soifon gratefully put on her pink trackies. She probably needed a new t-shirt too after all she'd went through a desert, a ruin, a bike chase and been shot in it.

"Can we drive now?" Rukia said

"Let's go" Soifon confirmed slowly sitting on the bench and grimacing at the pain.

"Where to?"

"Airport" Soifon said "I don't want to return to this shithole ever"

"Plymouth Airport is closest" Rukia said

"Where will we go?" Toshiro said

"Jerusalem"  
"No flights" Momo said looking at her phone

"I don't care" Soifon said "jack a plane"

"Whoa" Grimmjow said "that's a serious offence"

"I don't care" Soifon said

"Also Plymouth is a very small airport"  
"That'll just mean we can jack a smaller plane"  
"I think you've lost it" Rin said

"Shut up" everyone including Momo said

Rukia accelerated away toward the airport and left Soifon and the others to devise a plan on how they were going to steal a plane and most of all who was going to drive it. Of course….Rukia would! She'd happily stated that she knew how to drive any vehicle be it plane, bus, tank or boat. This worried Soifon, she was a terror enough on the road, she'd probably get them all killed in the air.

"There is the occasional cargo jet going though there" Momo said "one happens to go through and take off at 1PM"

"What is it taking?" Soifon asked

"Dunno" Momo said "just says cargo"

"Okay I've got an idea" Soifon said "you guys remember Komamura?"  
"Yeah"  
"Well he happens to provide a very…boss like voice. We'll get him to call up the air traffic guys and say there is a last minute change of pilots…"  
"Wait" Toshiro said "there is no way anyone will think Rukia is a qualified pilot"

"I know, her dad is"  
"I don't like where you're going with this" Grimmjow said

"Too bad" Soifon said "you can still change records and stuff like that?" she said to Toshiro

"Yeah but I'll need a real computer I can't do it with a smartphone"

"Don't worry about that" Soifon said "we'll sneak on with the cargo"

"So you…expect the Airport to believe that Grimmjow and Rukia are father and daughter, what is he taking her for work experience?"

"No" Soifon said "Grimmjow has a happy life in… Germany with his wife and lovely daughter but he can't get home, luckily the company he works for just happens to have a plane on its way to Germany"

"I see" Grimmjow said "I still don't like it"

"I thought you wanted to fight this monster?" Soifon said with a tempting voice. Grimmjow crossed his arms and smirked

"I never said I wouldn't do it" Grimmjow said "I'll have you know 'danger' is my middle name"  
"I thought your middle name was sex god" Rukia said.

"What?" Toshiro said

"I heard him say it to Matsumoto"

"You heard no such thing" Grimmjow said sulkily.

They argued all the way into Plymouth, Plymouth was…it wasn't really anything it was just sort of there…doing nothing important. The irrelevance of the city aside it was quite tranquil, by now the sun had risen and rain slowly fell. Plymouth wasn't far enough inland to get decent snow thanks to the gulfstream. They'd managed to contact Komamura who sorted everything out and Toshiro had spent half an hour in an internet café hacking. Grimmjow of course was pacing nervously in the Airport waiting to be called to drive the plane. Rukia sat on some benches nearby.

Soifon, Toshiro, Momo and Rin all snuck away. Since it was Boxing Day there wasn't much staff, no doubt there'd be people behind the CCTV cameras so it made sense that they donned the disguise of Airport employees. By the time all of this had happened it was nearly midday. "New guy…girl!" someone shouted after Soifon, she turned to see some dude walking toward her with a clipboard. Toshiro was sitting on a box looking at an iPad he'd helped himself to from the locker rooms.

"Me?" Soifon said

"Yeah" he said giving her a light smack on the head with his clipboard "hurry up and get the cargo onto the DC-3"

"Okay" Soifon said nodding.

"Use the forklift" he said tossing a set of keys that she barely caught. He walked away with a swagger that looked ridiculous on such a skinny guy.

"I don't know how to drive a forklift" Soifon said

"It's a good thing I do" Toshiro muttered handing the iPad to her and taking the keys. "Now for the only honest day's work I'll ever do"

"Whatever" Soifon muttered. "What is the cargo anyway?" she followed him out into the 'loading dock' the forklift waited with about twenty crates with the 'Apple Logo' on them. "Where are we gonna hide?" Soifon said noting that the crate was clear and full of small boxes.

"Um" Toshiro said "this is a very ill thought out plan"  
"Anything was better than the Rukon disaster last year" Soifon said

"I know" Toshiro said "screw it, I'll stack the boxes so that there is a hidden area that you can hide in"

"How thoughtful" Soifon said

"I might crush you with fifty thousand iPhones"

"Where are the others?" Soifon said

"Momo is exploring the plane and I don't know where the other guy went" Toshiro said

"Hopefully he got himself run over" Soifon said. She scowled when he emerged from the bathrooms. "There you are" Soifon said "we were worried"  
"Really?" he said

"No" Soifon said "remind us what you are actually doing here?"

"Well… I was worried Shura got into trouble and you guys seem like the best bet to find her"  
"Who are you to this…Shura?" Soifon asked

"She's my boss" he said "I got into trouble a few years ago and she took me under her wing"

"Quite the humanitarian she is" Soifon said nodding

"She is a good woman she just tends to get…carried away sometimes"

"Carried away?" Soifon said raising an eyebrow

"Let's not stand on ceremony shall we" Toshiro sighed.

After nearly half an hour Toshiro had built them a nice little crate fort that they all sat inside waiting for Rukia/Grimmjow to take off. Soifon actually couldn't believe such a crappy plan was working; something was bound to go wrong, she just knew it. Toshiro had snuck on just before the cargo hold door closed and joined them. Rukia sat in the pilot seat with Grimmjow in the co-pilot pretending to be busy.

"We're taking off" Rukia shouted.

"Our father, who art in heaven hallowed by thy name" Toshiro chanted with eyes screwed shut.

"This is by far one of the most insane things I've ever done" Rin said

"You ain't seen nothing yet" Soifon laughed as the plane began to accelerate. It actually felt quite good being on the wrong side of the law, different from the people who were content with a nine to five job to come home to wife that they tolerated rather than loved why would anyone want to be like that? What happened to being number 1!? Eventually the plane lifted off the ground and rose to its normal height.

Toshiro snuck out of the crate fort and set to work on the planes GPS system which gave them precious hours of ghostly flight. "We'll have to stay quite low" Rukia said "I don't wanna go up into the flight paths with any control tower guiding me"

"Something Mad Max here is afraid of" Soifon said

"Don't goad her" Grimmjow said slightly pale. Soifon stifled a laugh when she realised he was a nervous flyer.

Most of the flight was spent with Toshiro and Momo loudly kissing in a corner and Soifon herself listening to music on her iPod, she picked up two more iPods from the crates…she didn't really need them but the $300 price tag was just too much to let some free ones go to waste. Her mind wandered over to Yoruichi like it often did when she listened to The Divinyls. Would she still be alive, tapped in whatever room she'd locked the monster out of? Impatience grew in her and she stood up and walked to the cockpit. Rukia fiddled with Chappy with her legs on the dashboard.

"Aren't you supposed to be…driving?"  
"This thing pretty much has cruise control" Rukia said "we're also going to crash"  
"What?" Soifon said

"We don't have enough fuel to get us to Jerusalem" Rukia said happily "…in fact" Rukia looked down at the dashboard just as a red light began to flash and beep gallingly. "There it goes" The pane started to drop.

"Oh goddammit!" Soifon wailed desperately

[End of chapter 38]

**Quick question for anyone, I know I like to throw in a music reference or two…Have I got anyone to discover a new song or have I referenced a song you like and you be all like "Aaaahhhh!"…?**


	39. Chapter 39: Thanks for the memories

**Sorry I haven't uploaded in my usual timescale I had a really warm fleece on and my pizza kinda tasted like motorbikes.**

"Why" Momo said feebly "why does this always happen to us?" The plane had begun to sputter and jerk around; very soon they wouldn't be able to stay in the air. Soifon wondered why she'd even half thought they'd be able to go through this entire plan without something stupid like this happening.

"What are we gonna do!?" Grimmjow exclaimed

"Don't look at me!" Toshiro said "these planes only come with two parachutes and unless you wanna pull an Indiana Jones and used the life raft I'd say we're shit out of options"

"That's exactly what were gonna do!" Soifon said "Tie both parachutes to the life raft and we all get in it and drift happily to the ground"

"That's insane!" Toshiro said "it might just work"

"Rukia" Soifon said "try to gain as much altitude as you can, we're gonna bail"

"On it" she said pulling the controls back. Soifon stumbled back as the plane began to rise. Would two parachutes be enough for six people? Hopefully. She turned and staggered out of the cockpit. Momo and Toshiro were fiddling with the raft and Rin was doing his usual of nothing. "Open the cargo door!" Soifon said

"Opening" she shouted back. With a loud drone the cargo door slowly opened and Soifon was greeted with the view of a lovely desert

"Come on" Soifon shouted over the rush of air "we are leaving"

Rukia and Grimmjow appeared out of the door. "How are we gonna do this?" Rukia said "do we jump out inside the raft or do we get in after we jump?"  
"Toshiro and Momo will be inside the raft and me, you, Rin and Grimmjow will carry it, Momo and Toshiro will deploy the parachute and we'll get in…it should work"

"Should" Grimmjow said "remind me to never go on a mission with you again"

"No one asked you to come" Soifon said "now get a damn move on"

Toshiro and Momo jumped in the yellow inflatable dinghy and held onto the handles after securing the parachute straps to the dinghy. Soifon picked up the dinghy with the aid of the others. "Please let this work" she muttered as they made their way to the edge of the cargo hold. Air rushed past as the plane soared through the sky.

"Times up" Rukia said as the plane began to slowly descend again.

"Now or never" Soifon said "3…2…1 Jump!" On cue they all jumped, Soifon's strength was quickly tested as the pressure from the fall threatened to rip her hand from the dinghy's handle. Almost as soon as they were away from the plane Momo and Toshiro pulled the parachute cord and their terrifying descent was lessened. Soifon climbed into the makeshift para-dinghy thinking it'd probably be a neat little invention if it was actually safe.

"We're still falling hella fast" Grimmjow said looking at the dune below.

"The slope should cover us" Soifon said watching the uncontrolled plane drift toward a dune. With a fiery explosion the plane struck the side of the Dune. Sand and metal erupted into the sky.

"Not to be a buzz kill but…" Rin said "what about when we land, we'll just be alone in a massive desert" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Rin and then each other. Rukia started to laugh.

"Since when have we ever thought that far ahead!?" Rukia laughed "Now Gimmie that oar, I'm driving"

"We're in mid-air!"

"So?" Rukia said claiming the oar.

The boat landed on the slope with a rather sore bounce and they began to slide. Momo and Toshiro pulled the parachutes off and they picked up speed. "Perhaps we should stab an oar in to slow it down?" Soifon suggested. Too late, they crashed at the bottom and landed in a heap coughing and spitting out sand.

"Could've been worse" Rukia said

"Now we are no longer allowed back in Britain" Soifon said "the motherland…I'm not to bothered, where are we anyway?"

"Egypt" Rukia said

"Not again" Soifon muttered. She was really getting annoyed with the desert countries now.

"Which direction is Jerusalem?" Momo asked. Toshiro glanced at the sun and then his phone

"About that way" he said pointing in a direction that was exactly the same as the other 359 degrees.

"If we keep walking we'll eventually hit a road" Soifon said "so let's get a move on, time is running out"

They began to walk only on Toshiro's expert opinion, Soifon didn't know how much Toshiro actually knew but he hadn't let them down yet so his word was pretty much gospel. As they walked Soifon picked through the last week. What a mess, she'd left Yoruichi due to her being…she didn't really know, she'd just felt their passion that had once sent a man flying into the sky to explode in a massive mushroom cloud had slowly ebbed away. Now of course she was completely abandoning her principals and chasing after Yoruichi again after a single day of breaking up, such conviction…no wonder her brothers had a field day teasing her.

Maybe she just didn't know what she had until it was gone but that would state Soifon was the one in the wrong. Was she? Was she just too selfish and picky? Before she lost herself in inner monologues she decided to listen to her iPod as she walked, it was quite antisocial but she didn't care. Toshiro and Momo seemed to be in a world of their own, seemed to be explaining something to her, she obviously was very interested judging by the way she nodded. The sun in the sky burned down but Soifon felt quite good…maybe it was because she was listening to such a Muse song or because soon she'd be back in Yoruichi's strong and capable arms.

After maybe an hour of walking they came to a road, a thin line of black asphalt burning a line straight through the desert, Soifon got a funny feeling she'd driven down this road before but the bloody place looked the same wherever she went. Luckily they'd reached the road now because her iPod had run out of charge and she now was subjected to listening to Toshiro explain why the desert is more like a sea and that if you took a picture of the same place twice a day for the entire year and put it all together like the frames of a film they'd be greeted with the sand rippling like the ocean.

"You're too smart" Grimmjow eventually cut in after he started to explain that a single grain of sand could be traced back to the creation of the earth "I'm starting to think you're a big nerd"

"I had to take amphetamines to make my body keep up with my massive intellect…what'd make you think I'm a nerd?" Toshiro smirked

"Amphetamines are so last century, have you ever tried Gamma?"

"That powder you put into water shake and drink?"

"Yeah?"  
"No" Toshiro said "that stuff is for bodybuilders with tiny penises and gamers who spend their entire day trying to hit 'clips'"

"Everyone's a cynic" Grimmjow shrugged.

Eventually a car, a pickup , came up behind them. They kept walking, they'd given up trying to hitchhike. Soifon was the first to notice the car wasn't passing them. "Here we go" she muttered as several men clad in robes, turbans and sands jumped out and pointed ak-47's at them. They began to shout in Arabic. Toshiro said a few words back.

"What are they saying?"  
"They are saying that we decedent Jews deserve to die" Toshiro sighed

They continued to point their guns, Soifon put her hands up slowly, she couldn't really be bothered trying to psyche them out so she just complied. Everyone except Grimmjow followed suit, he just continued to walk down the road as if nothing happened.

"Where's he going?" Toshiro said jerking a thumb at Grimmjow. One of the militants chased after Grimmjow shouting and firing his gun in the air. Grimmjow stopped and stood with his back to them. The man put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around and stared in panicked at the bloodthirsty grin on Grimmjow's face. He tried to raise his gun but Grimmjow snatched it from his grip and turned it around. He fired three times and the man was blown back. The other militants fumbled to raise their weapons, wasting precious seconds that eventually cost them their lives. Grimmjow fired four decisive shots and the bodies hit the asphalt with precise thuds.

Soifon lowered her arms and looked at Grimmjow. "That was a little extreme"

"Some people have to be taught the hard way that they had better check themselves before they wreck themselves" Grimmjow laughed maniacally and tossed the gun away and danced on the spot shadowboxing.

"Hey at least we got a car" Toshiro said walking toward it. He helped Momo into the flatbed. Soifon joined them numbly jumping in. Rin sat shotgun next to Rukia and Grimmjow eventually joined Soifon in back after he was done with his dance.

"Let's go on the way!" Rukia said slamming Chappy onto the dashboard and accelerating away with a tire squeal.

"Any idea's what Yoruichi was fighting in the temple of Solomon?" Grimmjow asked

"My best bet is…" Toshiro paused for thought and then shook his head "never mind"  
"What?"

"Well in that message she sent Soifon I could've sword she said…Leviathan"

"Sounds like fun" Grimmjow said

"No, no it's not" Toshiro said "If it is _the _Leviathan then it'll be unimaginably powerful, not something a regular person can beat"  
"We beat Aizen didn't we?"  
"Aizen was a man" Toshiro said bluntly "this thing is one of the seven princes of Hell, I mean Hell! The inferno"

"So?" Soifon said "it won't be a problem with this many members of the Gotei there"

"We are only men, Soifon, not Gods" Toshiro said "best remember that before you end up nothing more than a mangled corpse in some crypt"

"I never had you as a scaredy-cat" Soifon chided but then scowled as Rukia rumbled over a pothole and her bullet wound exploded with pain.

"I never had you as someone so careless"

"When it comes to Yoruichi I'd punch Satan himself if he stood between us"  
"Amen" Rin mumbled

"I'm hungry" Momo said. Now that Soifon thought of it she was too.

"We can get a McDonalds or something in the next town"  
"Are you sure they have fast food in the middle-east. Isn't it one of those _decedent western _things?" Grimmjow said putting on an Arabian accent that actually sounded more Russian than Arabian.

Fortunately they were only a few miles from the border between Egypt and Israel and in no time, after bribing the border guards they were driving through the busy streets of Jerusalem. They did stop at a restaurant but only really to plan out their next steps. "Well we have no idea where the temple actually is" Grimmjow said before taking a bite out of his burger.

"All we have is this shitty drawing" Soifon said dropping the piece of elaborately painted fabric on the table. Toshiro glanced at it and looked away then he turned back and snatched it up.

"We've seen that before" he said "we saw it on our way in, that's where the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is!"

"Church of the Holy what?" Rukia said

"We're wasting time" Soifon said throwing her half eaten burger down "let's go"

"I haven't finished nourishing myself" Grimmjow said

"Tough, finish it as we walk"

"But I'll get indigestion" Grimmjow whined

"Get a goddamn move on" Soifon snapped "god it's like dealing with a freekin child"

Soifon and the others made their way through the city. The air was warm and acrid; the city had an air of, sinister about it. Perhaps it was the shady looks or the murmuring as they passed; maybe it was the setting sun dying the crystal blue sky a sickly blood red.

As the shadows elongated they approached the church, it was a rather run down stone brick building that dated back to long before there was a continent called America in the east or west, depending how you looked at it. Some Christian pilgrims milled around, Soifon froze and stared when she saw such a pilgrim. She knew this man…who was he? Where had she seen him before? He noticed her and looked rather confused.

"Oh hey it's Candice's dad" Momo said.

"Oh yeah, you used to be her best friend didn't you"

"I was technically Bambietta's friend, I didn't get along well with Candice" Momo said shrugging. He waved and walked over.

"I remember you" he said smiling slightly, his daughter got a lot of looks from him, the hair and eyes especially. Though on him the looks were much more masculine but still quite elegant. "You were that PI's assistant, coming to meet her I take it?"  
"Have you seen her?" Soifon asked

"I did, she was looking for…uh…I can't remember" he said tapping his chin.

"Nice robes" Grimmjow chided

"I think so" he said "they are over four hundred years old; I feel spiritual enlightenment coursing through my third path"

"Is that some kind of euphemism?" Toshiro said. Soifon scowled, what was with this guy, the way he spoke, he spoke like someone who was trying to mask their true intentions

"What did you say your name was?" Soifon said

"I never said my name back then" he said "but my name is Orion"

"Orion?" Grimmjow said raising an eyebrow

"Yes, now if you do not mind I have to seek enlightenment furthermore have you heard the story about the massive river supposedly running under Jerusalem?"  
"Where's your wife?"  
"Divorced her" he shrugged "the sanctity of marriage, eh?" there was doing it again! He was taking the piss!

"Who are you really, what are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I'm searching a peace of mind type deal" he smiled sinisterly "I think it's what Candice would've wanted"  
"What did you really know about Candice?" Soifon said, his mocking was irritating and him being here was no coincidence!

"I knew she was greater than I ever could manage but I am her father, how could you possibly think I didn't know about her…double life"

"Did you know when Yoruichi and I rummaged through her things?"  
"I did" he said "Nel may be nearly genius level but she needed help from many people who were willing to lend a hand to see some bridges be burnt, to taste sweet anarchy again…" he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. "Never mind all that, I don't know why you're here or why Yoruichi was before that but this place…they say it's a lot older than the fourth century, I frankly like the little symbol on the plinth in the main sermon area. Have a nice night" he turned and walked away, his ancient robes flapping in the slight breeze.

"How well do you know that man?" Toshiro said

"Not much" Soifon said "I've only met him once"

"I've seen him before too" Toshiro said "I can't remember where though, come on, we're wasting time"

"After you" Soifon said shooting a weary glance at the man who fathered one of the most annoying criminals of the 21st century. She followed Toshiro and Momo. Rin, Grimmjow and Rukia followed shortly after. Inside the church seemed to have been slightly modified to accommodate tourists and pilgrims on their spiritual hocus-pocus missions but Soifon could hardly discredit God when she'd fought a Zombie and animated Angel statues.

They split up and explored, Soifon going left through into a decent sized room with a lot of paintings and mosaic floors, ceilings and even a bit of the walls, as if the person doing mosaic decided that he'd use forty million pieces of stone and if he had too much he'd just do some on the walls. Soifon couldn't think with all this damn rabble! She wanted to turn around and tell all these deluded cultists to shut up but that'd be rather rude so she plugged in her now charged iPod in and listened to some happy music, 'Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows'.

Bobbing her head slightly to the music she inspected a stone….thing, it wasn't quite a plinth but it was quite a random ornamental stone either. Soifon bent down; there was a little symbol on it. Soifon smiled slightly as she recognised it. It was the Illuminati's all seeing eye. "Jackpot" she muttered. Soifon looked around the stone and noticed the slightest scuffmarks on the floor. "Surely it can't be that obvious" she added. Glancing over her shoulder at the tourists she leaned on the stone and gave it a light shove…it didn't budge. Maybe it was undiscovered because the stone must've weighed a ton!

Panting she gave trying to inconspicuously shove the stone which really just made her look like she had constipation and all that pressure was making her butt hurt again. "Yo" Toshiro said walking up to her "I've got nothing" he added when she pulled her earphones out. "You gotta stop listening to music all the time"  
"Once you start it's really hard to stop" Soifon said "I feel like my head is empty if I don't have someone to talk to or have music blaring"

"Find anything?"

"I did" Soifon said pointing at the symbol. Toshiro produced a magnifying glass from somewhere that Soifon didn't want to think about and inspected it.

"Drawn a few years ago at least, not pre Victorian but not in the last ten years" he said "All-seeing Eye sight of many freemason-esque clans and societies, mostly the illusive illuminati"

"I know" Soifon said "they marked the doorway to Babel with a similar symbol"

"What'll we do, wait 'till everyone is gone and roll this bolder out the way and go in?"  
"Pretty much…"Soifon paused slightly

"What?"

"If Yoruichi and Shura or whoever she was with rolled this stone out of the way first…who rolled it back?"

"I don't know"

On that disturbing question Toshiro broke away and gathered the others. They quickly derived a pathetic and unelaborate plan that consisted of hiding in the bathrooms until closing and knocking out anyone in their way. Now Soifon sat squint on a toilet seat trying not to put too much weight on her ass. She smiled at a bit of graffiti on the wall of her cubicle 'Yoruichi was here!' Great minds think alike! Leaving the cubicle doors open a little- as the guards probably do check the cubicles fully, only wither or not there are feet and if the doors are locked- Soifon, Momo and Rukia waited in the girls' bathrooms for two and a half hours before the guard came in. Just as Soifon had hoped, he didn't fully check the bathroom. The lights were turned off and then the door was closed but luckily not locked.

Soifon waited another five minutes and then jumped off the toilet seat. She tentatively opened the door and looked around, there was no one. She stepped out closely followed by Momo and Rukia. Giving a single knock on the males bathroom door it was opened a few seconds later. "We ready?" Toshiro asked

"Yep" Soifon nodded "let's try and be semi-professional about this one"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves" Toshiro smirked. They crept through the empty church. There weren't many guards around. Any that did come in their vicinity were easily avoided with the large stone pillars providing good cover. After a few minutes of sneaking they all stood around the stone plinth.

"On three we all push" Toshiro said. Everyone took position. "One, two, three…" they all gave a heave and the stone scraped along the floor and revealed a hole which Soifon nearly fell down.

"How deep is it?" Momo wondered. Soifon dropped a glow stick which she kept for such an occasion down the hole. It fell about eight feet before hitting the dusty rock below. Soifon sighed and dropped through. Landing nimbly on her feet she cracked another glow stick and threw it down a corridor. The dark narrow passageway was illuminated by the dull green glow.

By now the others had jumped down. Without speaking Soifon took the lead and quickly had to crack her final glow stick. She threw it along the corridor. It didn't illuminate any further than a few feet though. "Damn" she muttered "someone go back and collect the other sticks, we'll just need to carry them as we walk"

"We should've brought a torch" Toshiro said

"I've got one" Grimmjow said rifling through his pockets. Soifon sighed as she shifted the weight of the two swords on her shoulder. She'd wrapped them up in cloth to prevent any theft or otherwise misplaced accusations.

He pulled out a large set of keys…well there was only two actual keys the rest was keyrings ranging from a mini flashlight to a penknife. He clicked it on and grinned maniacally as the feeble little beam of light pierced albeit meagrely through the gloom. "Be prepared" he said. Soifon shook her head and continued to walk. The tunnel went one for about a hundred metres gradually going down as they went. At the end they came to a large opening that was cut off by a huge wall. The wall was made from lime stone and carved exquisitely. Soifon noted with a scowl that there were more stone angels, sitting in little blind arches carved from the rock. "Was the Temple ever above ground?" Toshiro said

"I don't know" Soifon said "I never saw it back when it was built"  
"Shut up" he snapped. There was a single entranceway what was lit by more torch sconces. Soifon took off at a jogging pace; if Yoruichi had been through she would have activated or at least disabled the traps.

The interior of the Temple was peculiar to say the least. It just seemed to be a large room with lots of pillars in it; it reminded Soifon of the Mines of Moria for Lord of the Rings. "Where are we going?" Toshiro asked behind her

"Forward" Soifon said. Eventually the pillars ended and they came to a large stone door that was locked. Soifon stared at the door.

Something shifted to her left, something massive and hidden from the light. "What's there?" Soifon said trying to see through the darkness.

"An interesting question" came a transcendent voice; it felt like the deep growling tone pierced through her soul and body.

"You're…" Soifon started to go cold. Everyone else seemed to be rooted to the ground with fear too, even Grimmjow "leviathan"

"Did you know that it took a thousand years for my name to be able to be spoken, all the mortals would just burst into flames and die"

"Yoruichi" Soifon demanded taking a step forward "where is she"

"In there" it said after a short chuckle. Soifon still couldn't see it but the shadows writhed indicating that it was a mass of tentacles and something…else. "Didn't mommy ever tell you that it's rude to stare? I know she died giving birth to you so she couldn't have"

"How do you know about me?" Soifon asked

"You'll see…five years…" the demon laughed a guttural horrific laugh that filled Soifon with revulsion and fear.

The door slid open and Soifon ignored the demon and ran through. Yoruichi was there, she stood with her hands in her pockets looking at a arched doorway. Shura was also there stretching her arms. Yoruichi seemed…different but Soifon didn't care. Yoruichi turned as they entered and let out a startled wail as Soifon embraced her in a hug.

"I thought that thing had killed you, oh thank god" she gushed "did you find the Millennium Item?"

"Um…not yet" Yoruichi replied looking curiously at Soifon.

"You're gonna have to explain how you found the Temple, I had to get Toshiro and go to Britain" Soifon said

"Uh…" Yoruichi continued to stare at her "…who are you?"

[End of chapter 39]

**BOOM! No chapter for like two weeks and the wham! Curveball. Don't forget to review!**


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